“Am I A [Jerk] For Sending My Daughter To Her Room Because She Farted At Our Family Dinner?”
What would you do if your kid turned a family dinner into a comedy show with fart jokes? Just imagine trying to keep a straight face while teaching table manners, only to have your 14-year-old daughter turn the meal into a gas-filled giggle fest.
Our protagonist was dealing with this situation when her daughter’s unique sense of humor tested the limits of her patience.
More info: Reddit
Mom loses her patience after her 14-year-old autistic daughter keeps passing gas at family dinner, thinking it’s funny
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Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
“She laughs at farts, looks up every fact on farting”: the woman’s daughter, diagnosed with high-functioning autism, has developed a weird obsession for farts
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The woman’s daughter continuously burps and farts while the family is eating, causing the mom to lose her cool and snap at her
The OP’s (original poster) daughter, Rosie, was a quirky 14-year-old with a weird love for fart jokes, ready to turn any family dinner into a stinky situation. She was the only girl in a family of four kids, so she always stood out. Diagnosed with high-functioning autism, Rosie found joy in things most of us don’t, like the art of flatulence. Yep, you read that right. Farts were her comedy gold. She laughed at farts, researched foods that caused gas, and watched fart pranks on her tablet at full blast. For Rosie, farts were the peak of comedy.
Despite her unique interests, Rosie’s mom was on a mission to teach good table manners to all her kids. From “excuse me” after burps to covering their mouths when coughing, the basics were drilled in. With extended family coming over for dinner, Rosie’s mom set a clear rule: no fart talk at the dinner table, hoping her daughter would keep her fascination in check. But Rosie just couldn’t resist.
After chugging a big glass of lemonade, Rosie let one out that echoed through the room, receiving some pretty disapproving looks from the rest of the family. “I reminded her to say excuse me and hold in her burps,” mom recalls. Rosie tried, but temptation struck again. In the middle of a conversation, she let out a fart and giggled. The looks on everyone’s faces? Priceless.
That was the last straw for mom, who finally snapped at her daughter after sending her to her room in tears. She called Rosie’s actions disgusting and rude, especially in front of their guests. Rosie apologized and promised to behave, but it wasn’t enough. She was sent to her room, and dinner continued without her.
Later that night, Rosie and her mom had a heart-to-heart conversation. Rosie told her mom that all she wanted was to make everyone laugh and didn’t realize people would get mad. “I did remind her that it was actually rude, and she is expected to not do that again with company over,” mom explained.
What did the dad have to say, you may ask? Well, as a casual gas-passer himself, he thought his wife had overreacted, saying that it was just a fart and not worth the drama. But the OP had noticed his smirk during dinner and suggested that maybe their daughter was trying to copy him. “I did call him out on him smirking at dinner and stated that she modeled her behavior from him,” the OP recalls.
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Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
While the OP stood by her decision, she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe she had been too harsh, considering her young daughter’s diagnosis. For a teen with high-functioning autism, Rosie’s fascination with farting isn’t all that uncommon, as explained by an article on the same topic.
“High-functioning autism is a subtype of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by relatively mild symptoms compared to other forms of autism. Individuals with high-functioning autism may struggle to understand social norms, make eye contact, initiate or maintain conversations, and interpret nonverbal cues such as facial expressions or body language,” the article explains.
These kids often develop strong interests in specific topics, paying close attention to details. While they can be academically quite gifted, they might struggle with understanding social cues. Unlike more severe forms of autism, children with high-functioning autism, including those previously diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, tend to have normal to above-average intelligence and language skills but face significant social challenges.
Rosie’s mom faced a tough parenting moment that many can relate to. Trying your best to balance discipline with understanding, especially with a child with high-functioning autism, is definitely no easy task. But maybe, just maybe, we can all afford to laugh a little, even when things get a bit… smelly.
Teaching table manners to kids can sometimes be a challenge, but it’s all part of the parenting adventure. As explained in an article, when you teach your child good table manners, you’re giving them vital tools for social interactions that will serve them for a lifetime.
“Teaching good table manners is an important part of family meal time that will help your child have confidence in social situations and when dining out. Just make sure you take a low-pressure approach to instructing your kids. You don’t want mealtime to be fraught with stress and anxiety,” the article explains. Just remember to keep things pressure-free and lead by example. With a little patience and consistency, even the quirkiest teens can master the art of civilized dining.
So, was Rosie’s mom too harsh with her daughter or was she justified in her reaction? Drop your comments below.
People in the comments say that the mom is not a jerk for sending her daughter to her room because she farted at the family dinner
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People are getting hung up on the ladylike comment. I don't necessarily see that as a problem if she says the same behaviour is ungentlemanly for her son's. Language is sometimes gendered, it doesn't mean she's sexist.
Con O Cuinn, she is modelling the behaviour of her brothers and father, and *she* is the one being punished. Yeah, it's sexist.
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NTA for not wanting non accidental farts and burps at mealtimes, but definitely YTA for how it's been dealt with. Before I read the comments it sounded like a hyperfixation or stimming thing to me, too. So it needs to be redirected into something else, not told it's unladylike or a fetish, that's not going to help.
Look, she had 3 chances to correct her behavior. She chose not to. Yes, she could have chosen her words better and needs to work on herself for that. But I sincerely doubt if this child were a boy she'd react any differently. What she did was rude. And, again, she received multiple warnings. Her reaction was very appropriate.
Exactly... And she's 14, not 5 or 6... seriously.
Load More Replies... People are getting hung up on the ladylike comment. I don't necessarily see that as a problem if she says the same behaviour is ungentlemanly for her son's. Language is sometimes gendered, it doesn't mean she's sexist.
Con O Cuinn, she is modelling the behaviour of her brothers and father, and *she* is the one being punished. Yeah, it's sexist.
Load More Replies... NTA for not wanting non accidental farts and burps at mealtimes, but definitely YTA for how it's been dealt with. Before I read the comments it sounded like a hyperfixation or stimming thing to me, too. So it needs to be redirected into something else, not told it's unladylike or a fetish, that's not going to help.
Look, she had 3 chances to correct her behavior. She chose not to. Yes, she could have chosen her words better and needs to work on herself for that. But I sincerely doubt if this child were a boy she'd react any differently. What she did was rude. And, again, she received multiple warnings. Her reaction was very appropriate.
Exactly... And she's 14, not 5 or 6... seriously.
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