How entitled must you be to think it's ok to throw away ANYTHING that someone else made in their own house? Don't care what it was, you do not go to someone elses house and throw away their food cause YOU don't like it! Period!

Barging into someone's kitchen and throwing their food in the garbage is an incredibly aggressive thing to do. Growing up I knew a few kids who were forbidden to have junk food ever. All that did was make said junk food way more attractive.

DIL needs therapy, methinks.

First of all, I am actually worried as so many people are settling for ESH. Grandma is babysitting in her home, so her house, her rules. Of course, as long as it doesn't affect children's safety, and unless the cookies are magical, they don't. If the DIL isn't happy with it, pay for a sitter. If she threw something away in my house she'd be flying through a closed door leaving the shape in them like Wiley E. Coyote.

As someone with an a*****e parent who restricted and regulated food, the DIL is an a*****e who is setting her kids up for eating disorders. If you eat a healthy diet most of the time, cookies are not going undo your kids lives. She's an a*****e.

This isn't about the grandkids at all. The DIL went into OP's kitchen and threw away OP's food. Doesn't matter if it was cookies, veggies or a bucket of KFC fried chicken. That wasn't her food to throw away!

The DIL is definitely TA, those cookies weren't solely for the grandkids, all the yta and esh people are crazy.

Shes going to give her kids an eating disorder. I would bet money on it.

No one in their right mind throws away grandmothers cookies. That behavior is grounds for divorce.

I'm starting to scroll fast through the comments. I didn't see anywhere mentioned that she told her MIL she was doing HER a favour. Therefore she's saying either she's fat or eating unhealthy. How does she know whether MIL had made them to take to a function, as well?

DIL has a serious eating disorder and deep need for control, that is why she threw the cookies away. She needs to go to therapy. Otherwise she's going to forever battle with her kids going behind her back to have the food they want, and as soon as they're 18 they'll be out of the house to get away from her controlling behavior.

Come into my kitchen and use your little f*****g fingers to throw away my food. I throw away your f*****g fingers. Problem solved.

i hate health nut ppl who try to force their ways into other ppls lives. my mom was like this to me and my dad. my dad is still a bit underweight and very frail but healthy enough. wen i was younger my mom would feed my those diet meals like lean cuisine and stuff like that. i was by no means overweight bc i was an athelete since a young age. i had a very healthy body bc i was always in shape due to sports. the diet meals started in 7th grade. thats wen things started going down hill. i was losing weight faster then i can gain it. all my doctors yelled at my mom once my weight hit a scary low number for someone with my height and build. i was supposed to b at most 150lbs wen i was in high school but i was 115lbs. one of my doctors even threatened to call cps. this specific doctor gave me a very specific list of things i should eat and most of it my mom said shed refuse to give me. thats wen my doctor took out her cell phone (the brick of a nokia) and said "fine then i will call cps right now". this horrified my mom bc she was able to tell the threat wasnt just words. normally a doctor would say stay away from fast food yet it was on the list due to the calories and fat content. the fact i did track and field made this a horrifying situation. my doctor said that if i didnt have a healthy weight i could end up getting injured, sick or worst case scenario permenant health issues. my metabolism was insane which is y id lose weight faster then i gained it. my dad told my grandparents about this and after that id spend weekends with them and my grandma would make everything under the sun. my mom wouldnt make everything on the list so this was our way around it. once i reached a healthy weight my doctor told my mom that i must keep up this balance due to my fast metabolism and my atheletic nature. my weight stayed between 145 and 160 after that.

This is about control, not just about some cookies. It sounds as if DIL is massively into control with her kids. Sadly, the kids will pay a heavy price for her need to control. No, sugar is not good for kids (or anyone) but in moderation, it is also not poison. But this isn't the real issue here. The real issue is that the DIL considers it her business to dictate what everyone else eats. Her obsessive need for control is unhealthy and without respect for anyone else. She reminds me of those extreme vegans who demand that a restaurant stop serving any meat products because they do not eat meat products. You get to choose what you eat, but you do not get to dictate what others eat. To toss out perfectly good food simply because you do not wish to eat it, is ridiculously rude and disrespectful toward others.

It's just cookies. There's no more severe reasons mentioned, that may include dietary restrictions of various types, health-related, ethics-related, even religion-related. But, as non of these were mentioned, I suppose none of them apply here. Cookies aren't meant to be your only food, they don't need to be especially healthy, but ... including nuts and such, which are generally praised for a very healthy composition of unsaturated fats and protein and whatnot, might even table this turn. A bit. NTA anyway, ... Throwing out YOUR cookies? She wouldn't be allowed in my house again until she apologized, promised to never even try any such again, and drop the issue completely around me or in my house or on my ground.

YTA people are INSANE. If you walk into *my* kitchen, and throw out *MY* food, we are going to have a BAD issue. You'll be lucky if just getting kicked out is all you get. Baking stuff is now pretty expensive, and done right takes up time.

Who's house was it? That's what I thought.

Emily would never be allowed in my kitchen again; and if she does not apologize for destroying something I made, she would not be allowed back into my house. That said, baking forbidden treats every time the grandkids come to visit smacks of weaponized grandma-ism.

Hateful daughter-in-law law. Her children will not experience the love of food and family. Setting a limit on sugar is great, but her approach is jut to control. She set a horrible example for her children regarding respect and thankfulness.

Dil is a Bully with an eating disorder. Notice her and hubby fight about food too. She's the mom sure but now she crossed the line telling OP she can't eat them either. Plus if she really believes her kids are not getting sugar in their diet then she better cut out all fruit and a lot of vegetables because they have sugar. May be a different form but sugar is sugar. Kids are going to gorge on junk food the minute they hit their teens. That's what happens when you don't teach everything in moderation. Milks good for you but drink too much and you can become anemic. Moderation!!

My father would "help" with my first kid when I had my secknd child by buying him all the chicolate he wanted and feedjng him lots of toast and butter. We were livibg together. In about two years he became overweight snd had a flat foot problem that got so bat it had ti have surgery. He also was borderline ADHD. It all got better when I kept them apart, got him surgery on both legs, got on a healthier diet with plenty omega 3.

I can see why the DIL would feel justfied, but that doesn't give her the right to touch anything of Grandma's. For that she's definitely an AH. Since this has been an ongoing issue (she was forced into the compromise), she more than likely vents to her husband the minute they leave Grandma's house. At this point, she probably said "So help me God, if we go in the house & she made cookies again (obviously she made them for her & the grandchildren) I'm going to throw the whole plate of cookies in the trash. Maybe then this will get through to her because she does this EVERY time!!" So, IMO, they both were AH, Grandma a bit more because she should know better but did whatever she wanted to. Wonder how many times those children were told to take another cookie (or 2) - we won't tell Mom!!

ESH split 80DIL/20Nan - if someone says don't feed my kids cookies, you don't. But if you had an agreement that you could feed one, then someone throwing out your cookies that you also baked for yourself loses your babysitting too. I see eating disorders in their future.

ESH. Your son & wife should be deciding, at home, what their children are going to eat. They may compromise some between them, but they do not have to make any compromises with you. If they (your son should firmly back up DIL, or, himself, speak on behalf of the 2 of them) say no cookies, or 1 cookie - that's that. And don't criticize DIL to the children. "I'd give you more but your Mom said that's all you can have." When you had agreed they would have only 1 cookie & DIL saw a whole batch on the counter, I'm guessing she flipped out, just lost it, assuming you were going back on the agreement. But throwing out the cookies was outrageous. Her saying she was doing you a favor because they were unhealthy? - what you eat is absolutely none of her concern. You described DIL as avoiding sugar & processed foods, & eating mostly organic, & defended your cookies by saying they're homemade. I'd be curious to see a list of the ingredients in your homemade cookies - sugar (white? & brown sugar is nothing more than processed white sugar with molasses added to it); flour (again, white? if so & it says "enriched," it's been processed to take off/out what's good for you - & particularly the grain husks - then some nutrients are added back in - don't know if the specific ones & the amounts are regulated in order to call a product "enriched" or to say it's made from enriched flour, as in the ingredients listed on the bread wrappers in the grocery stores - & if the flour bag says "bleached," I shudder to think what that means); some version of fat to hold the dry ingredients together, for moisture, & adds flavor (whether butter, margarine - don't, just don't - butter is healthier & tastes better - oil, or solid shortening). So, yes, homemade can have a lot of processed content. But the labels on purchased foods list ingredients you can't pronounce, much less do you know what they are, & if you did would you want to eat them? Of course, there's 1 ingredient your cookies have that purchased ones don't - Grandma's love. & I know that's why you bake & want to give those cookies to your grandchildren. & They're surely wonderful, but for now it's a bone of contention &, of course, you realize that by refusing to babysit, you won't see your grandchldren. It's hurting you & them - not so much your son & DIL - they can just hire a teenager who probably can't make toast. Our best friend, because of a serious medical issue, has had to give up a lot of things he was accustomed to eating, but he cooks the most marvelous meals & has shared recipes that are absolutely wonderful. And there's no deprivation, no weird ingredients that you have to search high & low for, it's not bland - he does fantastic curries - we do too now. There are so many natural & healthy substitutions for traditional ingredients. Sugar, for example: No, not those chemical concoctions called "sugar substitutes" or "sweeteners" but unprocessed raw honey, or certain kinds of molasses or coconut sugar. Whole wheat flour, etc, etc. (His cheesecake is to die for.) You might want to look for recipes with ingredients that would substitute for the kinds of things DIL & son don't want the children to eat. Google "healthy brownies" - I know, an oxymoron. They can be just as sweet & decadent as anything cooked from traditional recipes. Or maybe your recipes can be adapted. Or, as in some other comments ask DIL to give you some of her healthy treat recipes. It might improve your relationship to share this interest. If the grandchildren are being forced to live on organic celery & brown rice, their pediatrician will notice the signs of malnutrition. & Never fear - DIL can't monitor the children's intake 24/7/365. I don't know how old they are but they will be presented with other kinds of foods at school & at friends' houses, but if they've had tasty, sweet, satisfying foods at home & at your house, they won't go berserk if they eat something DIL wouldn't approve of - if she knew - & insist on a diet of nothing but candy bars. (Note: I'm in no way rigid, or even consistent, abt any of the above - far from it. My best Christmas cookie recipe is one of my Mom's, with white flour, dark molasses, sugar, solid shortening, & lots of spices. And there's one that's basically cheese, butter, cayenne pepper & a bit of flour. The one with p'nut butter. The "buckeyes" - peanut butter & confectioner's sugar, combined & rolled into balls, then dipped in melted chocolate that has a bit of paraffin wax in it to make it firm.) I hope you'll all come together & share your interests in food - after all, not only is food fuel for your body, but it's something to be enjoyed whether alone or with family & friends - not just "belly-fill," something to put in your mouth 3 times a day, according to the clock.

ESH. Your son & wife should be deciding, at home, what their children are going to eat. They may compromise some between them, but they do not have to make any compromises with you. If they (your son should firmly back up DIL) say no cookies, or 1 cookie - that's that. And don't criticize DIL to the children. "I'd give you more but your Mom said that's all you can have." When you had agreed they would have only 1 cookie & DIL saw a whole batch on the counter, I'm guessing she flipped out, just list it, assuming you were going back on the agreement, & throwing out the cookies was outrageous as was her saying she was doing you a favor because they were unhealthy - what you eat is none of her concern. You described DIL as avoiding sugar & processed foods, & eating mostly organic, & defended your cookies by saying they're homemade. I'd be curious to see a list of the ingredients in your homemade cookies - sugar (white? brown sugar is nothing more than white sugar with molasses added to it)

When a parents says don't feed my child something, you don't. They have a better understanding of the child's health than you do. If at someone's house you don't throw any of their stuff away without permission. Alll are guilty of being twits at one time or another.

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TBH I'm somewhat sympathetic with the DiL here, I don't have to agree about her choice of diet for her kids. but it's been made eminently clear to the MiL that she does not want her children eating cookies, so why does she continue to insist on making them all the time and then get upset when the DiL sticks to her guns like this? or at least I'd go so far as to say that the MiL is indeed TA for making this into a confrontational issue.