By the age of 2, toddlers are talking, walking, climbing, running, and jumping. Both parents and pediatricians often speak of the “terrible twos,” as this developmental phase is often marked by tantrums, defiant behavior, and lots of frustration.
This period requires a lot of patience, but Gwenna Laithland, the creator of the parenting website Momma Cusses, recently released a TikTok video where she explained that giving her 2-year-old daughter a bob haircut was a really good decision and made things at least a little bit easier.
The “terrible twos” can be hard to handle, but mom Gwenna Laithland said there’s a simple solution that can remedy some of the smaller issues
Image credits: christening (not the actual photo)
She got her daughter a short haircut and said it made their everyday life easier
Image credits: mommacusses
Gwenna explained the changes in a TikTok video
@mommacusses Sometimes waiting a bit to encourage skill mastery is okay. They don’t have to be good at all of it immediately. #mommacusses #responsiveparent #gentleparent #momlife #motherhood ♬ original sound – Momma Cusses
And it has since gone viral
Image credits: mommacusses
“I cut my daughter’s hair off because I didn’t want to brush it. And I know some of you are already in the comment section writing a whole paragraph of how that’s horrible parenting, it’s traumatizing, and how could I even? Listen, listen, my daughter was two and hated having her hair brushed.”
Image credits: mommacusses
“I’m talking screaming, wailing, gnashing of teeth, WWE-worthy wrestling matches just to untangle her hair. You’ve heard the advice ‘pick your battles.’ Well, that wasn’t a battle I was interested in picking.”
Image credits: mommacusses
“So I took her to the salon and we gave her a bob, right up to the chin, [which] greatly reduced the amount of hair we had to brush. Two-year-olds, well, they’re a lot. They’re just getting used to their own bodies. Their world is expanding. They’re beginning to form opinions of their own, and it didn’t feel like to me that was the right time to begin the great hygiene battle.”
Image credits: mommacusses
“Fast forward two years and my now four-year-old loves having her hair done. Brushes, braids, bows. She’s game. That’s partly because she got older and her tolerance for stuff increased. And that’s partly because we didn’t make an issue. We minimized the conflict by minimizing the amount of hair we had to brush. Some might say that’s capitulating to a two-year-old. I say work smarter, not harder. As parents, we have to teach our kids a lot of things but not all at the same time.”
Image credits: mommacusses
Caring for toddlers is sometimes fun and sometimes overwhelming, but it’s always busy, so you can understand why a parent might want to save every ounce of energy they can. From potty training to storytime to full-blown tantrums, there is never a dull moment with toddlers.
Tantrums can be particularly challenging and can range from mild whining to all-out hysterical meltdowns. In addition to crying, a child might also get physical, which may include:
- hitting;
- kicking;
- biting;
- throwing things.
While the tantrums may seem never-ending while in the midst of one, according to results from a 2003 study, an estimated 75 percent of them in kids 18 to 60 months last for five minutes or less.
Whether it comes at 18 months or 3 years of age, most young kids — at least in the Western world, where there are certain societal expectations for their behavior — will display some signs of the terrible twos.
Kids at this age are developing independence and a sense of self, so it’s natural that their views and expectations don’t always match up with those of their parents or caregivers.
Still, some children will breeze through the terrible twos with fewer tantrums than others. This is especially the case if they have advanced language skills, which help them express themselves more clearly and cut down on frustration.
Image credits: Jep Gambardella (not the actual photo)
Parents and caregivers can also help by avoiding some common meltdown triggers. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the following:
- Keep regular meal and sleep schedules. Less desirable behavior is more likely to happen when your child is tired or hungry.
- Praise behaviors you approve of and ignore ones you want to discourage.
- Don’t spank or hit, and try to avoid yelling. You want to model nonviolent behavior for your child.
- Redirect or distract when you can. Point out something funny or interesting when your child starts to whine or misbehave.
- Keep rules simple and offer brief explanations. For example, tell your child they have to hold your hand when they cross the street because you don’t want a car to hurt them.
- Let your child have some control by offering a choice between two things. For example, you might say “Would you like to wear your blue sweater or yellow jacket today?”
- Keep your toddler’s home environment safe. If you don’t want them getting into something, put it out of sight if you can.
- Don’t give in. Set your limits and be consistent.
- Stay calm. Your child will feed off your stress. Count to 10 or take a deep breath, whatever helps you to keep your cool.
Or cut their hair if it’s getting in the way of them having a calmer day!
Some of the people who saw the video thought Gwenna’s decision was a good idea
But others questioned it, fearing how such an appearance might affect the child
Cutting a two year olds hair for convenience is nothing at all like cutting a 12 year olds hair against their will. Forcing a toddler to undergo a daily routine they find torturous, just to meet an arbitrary, gendered, beauty standard would be so much worse. After all no one would have batted an eye if she got her 2 year old BOY a super short hair cut for convenience.
This. So much this. Those naysayers compare the situation to completely different circumstances. A two year old has no concern of beauty standards. They only care for comfort. It's much more traumatising for them to be forced into a hated situation than having a pretty bob. There will be no 'identity issues'. She's two for heavens sake. No other toddler will 'bully' her for having a bob. And she didn't get a buzzcut either. She got a pretty, chin length bob cut. She'll live and enjoy her life much more that way. I feel those other people don't understand that their traumatic situations didn't come from their haircut itself, but from their parents not caring for their needs and not realising that their needs in their situations were much different than this child's needs in OPs situation.
Load More Replies...I did the same with my daughter. She was just as beautiful, and we were both happier.
i wish my mom let me cut my hair, i'm tenderheaded and it hurts a lot, but she insists on it
This is the same but reverse. If you want to cut your hair you should be able to. I think cutting a two year old kids hair to make it manageable is smart. When she starts taking care of it herself let her choose. We cut my long hair off when I was around 5 and I have kept it short ever since and I am 44. When it starts touching my neck, time to cut. I basically keep it in a bob.
Load More Replies...Cutting a two year olds hair for convenience is nothing at all like cutting a 12 year olds hair against their will. Forcing a toddler to undergo a daily routine they find torturous, just to meet an arbitrary, gendered, beauty standard would be so much worse. After all no one would have batted an eye if she got her 2 year old BOY a super short hair cut for convenience.
This. So much this. Those naysayers compare the situation to completely different circumstances. A two year old has no concern of beauty standards. They only care for comfort. It's much more traumatising for them to be forced into a hated situation than having a pretty bob. There will be no 'identity issues'. She's two for heavens sake. No other toddler will 'bully' her for having a bob. And she didn't get a buzzcut either. She got a pretty, chin length bob cut. She'll live and enjoy her life much more that way. I feel those other people don't understand that their traumatic situations didn't come from their haircut itself, but from their parents not caring for their needs and not realising that their needs in their situations were much different than this child's needs in OPs situation.
Load More Replies...I did the same with my daughter. She was just as beautiful, and we were both happier.
i wish my mom let me cut my hair, i'm tenderheaded and it hurts a lot, but she insists on it
This is the same but reverse. If you want to cut your hair you should be able to. I think cutting a two year old kids hair to make it manageable is smart. When she starts taking care of it herself let her choose. We cut my long hair off when I was around 5 and I have kept it short ever since and I am 44. When it starts touching my neck, time to cut. I basically keep it in a bob.
Load More Replies...
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