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Parent Makes Daughter Face $3,000 Credit Debt Consequences After She Goes On Spending Spree
Parenting is a constant dance between support and preparation. Parents nurture their children, but also strive to equip them with the tools they need to flourish as independent adults. Financial literacy stands tall among these crucial life skills.
This Reddit post resonates with a familiar challenge. A parent confronts a tough decision: their financially independent daughter, now drowning in credit card debt, seeks a financial rescue. The urge to provide immediate relief is powerful. However, the author recognizes a more valuable lesson in teaching their daughter financial responsibility.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Financial literacy is a skill parents diligently try to instill in their children
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
The author’s daughter found herself drowning in credit card debt and expected her parent to bail her out
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Antique-Duty-9547
When the poster refused, she got pissed and called them a jerk
The Original Poster (OP) is facing a difficult situation after their 24-year-old daughter, who lives independently and has a good job, revealed she is $3,000 in credit card debt. The parent expressed concern about their daughter’s spending habits, which included frequent online shopping, eating out, and clothing purchases.
The situation escalated when the daughter, panicking about making the minimum payment, requested a loan from the poster to cover the debt. The author, however, conditioned their help on seeing the daughter’s credit card statements. The OP proposed an alternative solution: creating a budget together to tackle the debt. This suggestion, however, was met with frustration from the daughter, who reportedly called the parent a “jerk” for denying her a handout.
The parent acknowledged the difficulty of the situation. While they expressed a desire to help their daughter avoid hardship, they also felt it was important for her to learn from her choices. They emphasized the importance of financial responsibility as a life skill, suggesting that overcoming this challenge could be a valuable learning experience.
Commenters quickly pointed out the importance of teaching your kids how to manage money, which the OP quickly pointed out that they taught all their kids how to manage money, which the daughter in question did; however, this changed when she started earning her own money. This underscores a crucial point – financial literacy is an ongoing conversation, not a one-time lesson. One of the biggest challenges parents face is finding the right balance between offering support and allowing their children to learn from financial mistakes. A complete financial safety net can hinder opportunities for growth.
As InCharge wisely points out, there’s a difference between helping someone through a rough spot and feeling as if your generosity has opened a floodgate you need to close for the benefit of both parties.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The danger we’re talking about is when help becomes a habit. Someone asking for a rare financial favor turns into someone who expects assistance whenever a bill needs paying. Dealing with financially irresponsible family members is never simply resolved by opening your checkbook. In fact, that should be down the list of steps you take when confronted with a request for financial assistance.
While the urge to bail out a struggling child is strong, enabling their financial missteps can have lasting consequences. In this case, rescuing the daughter from her $3,000 debt with a handout wouldn’t address the root cause of the problem – her overspending habits. It might provide temporary relief, but it wouldn’t equip her with the necessary skills to manage money responsibly in the future.
This situation presents a valuable opportunity for the daughter to learn from her mistakes. Working together to create a budget and tackling the debt head-on will not only alleviate the immediate pressure but also empower her with financial literacy. It’s a challenging but crucial lesson that will serve her well throughout her life.
But what are your thoughts on the situation. Did the parent strike the right balance? How can parents best navigate these financial challenges with their children? Let’s keep the conversation going!
Commenters all shared a similar thought and expected the poster’s daughter to pay for it herself
Image credits: Alexandra Maria (not the actual photo)
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What do you think ?
Cosmikid 10 months ago
You want me to help with this? Ok. Give me all your credit cards. You can have them back; when you've paid me back. Not before. Or? Well, homelessness is looking you dead in the eye.
Zoe's Mom 10 months ago
Some stores will give you a temporary card to shop with just for the day or just look your account up so you can charge. So, this method of taking her cards won't work. My personal issue with CC debt was that I went to Consumer Credit Counseling. They took all my cards and put a stop on them. I paid them one lump sum and they paid the credit cards. It took about a year and a half but I was out of a $15,000.00 credit card debt and NEVER did it again.
Load More Replies...
Captain McSmoot 10 months ago
OP's daughter might think her mother's a jerk, but she also thinks she's living within her means. All that to say, OP shouldn't care what her daughter thinks since she's wrong. Her daughter is a moron.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 10 months ago
I had serious debt problems when I was young. My parents were extremely house poor, and chose to keep that to themselves. They thought they were protecting us. I never saw them paying bills or even saving for a purchase. When I grew up, I quickly got lost in debt. I wish I'd had the sense to ask for/accept help when my debt was only $3000.
InfiniteZeek 10 months ago
I have never owed money to anyone, no banks, credit cards, rent, etc, and I am in my 40s (f**k that's weird to write, I'm old dammit). Is it because I am rich, bwahahahahah f**k no, I live paycheck to paycheck. I just always understood that if I have x then I can spend x, not x+1 or +2 or anything, it's x or less. Are there things that I want to buy that I can just throw on a CC? Yes. But my desire to owe no one anything is stronger. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Alyssa Phillips 10 months ago
Once or twice a year I take a month's worth of paychecks out of the bank in cash. I sit down with my children and show them my written budget. I then pull money off the cash pile and put it in the bill pile. It helps them visually see why we can't randomly go to the beach tomorrow or buy that laptop on a whim. The older ones also get to see where the money goes--"my baseball dues are more than we spend in food for a month?" "We pay HOW much for water?"
martin734 10 months ago
Guess what? This is part of being a f*cking adult. She is far from being a child and needs to take responsibility for herself. I think the parent is being perfectly reasonable, this is not her debt or her responsibility to sort it out. By all means help plan a budget and try to teach her to be more responsible but at 24 it is time for the daughter to be responsible for herself.
DarkViolet 10 months ago
Some folks have to learn the hard way. Credit cards are a whole lot of fun, and credit card companies are happy to oblige. It's all good--until the bills come in. Then it's a financial nightmare when you can only pay the minimum amount. You KNOW you're in debt when: 1) you have more credit than cash, 2) you are paying 25% or more of your take-home pay towards credit card debt, and 3) you're having to rob Peter to pay Paul (you're foregoing paying one bill to cover another one). Been there, done that. I haven't had credit cards in nearly 20 years, and I don't miss them in the slightest. Unless she wants to end up beyond broke, OP's daughter had better get financial counseling and start paying down that debt. If the credit card companies don't sock it to her, IRS sure will.
Jessica SpeLangm 10 months ago
Good for mom. My parents didn't teach me budgeting or any financial help. I'm not complaining about the fact that they covered all my expenses growing up, but when I got a job it would have been a HUGE help to me if they taught me about budgeting and credit cards and such. Now 35 years later I had to learn on my own about budgeting and keeping my credit card paid off. Thanks mom and dad, but no thanks.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago (edited)
I don't think saying "no, pay your own card" is necessarily indicative of having laid down a comprehensive, scaffolding framework for personal finance from ages 13–18.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Maybe she can get a job at those food places she's so keen on ordering from... I learnt hard lessons about debt but have never asked my family to bail me out. I now know that my whim spending will come back to bite me with literal interest.
Thomas Hunt, Jr. 10 months ago
Not everyone is good with money. Even if you've been brought up right about financial responsibility. I'm the screw up of the family. My younger sisters aren't. As such, as was my choice - I only use temporary cards and I am not holding them. Why? Give me money and I'll spend it. Nasty impulse I honestly have no control over. And I'm 46. Once I came to terms with it (at 25) only then was I able to get some help. Being homeless and living out in the streets helped with that realization. That and sleeping outside in -20 degree weather....yeah, not fun.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago
I think the parent is obligated to pay the debt if they can easily afford to do so, regardless of the cause of the debt, IF she agrees to cut back and arrange an immediate repayment and budgeting plan with him. A bad credit score will f**k your life up. But that sounds like it's not the case.
Mammie 10 months ago
I disagree. Sorry, I think it's her debt and if the parent bails her out she learns nothing except that they'll bail her out so she don't have to act responsibly. Bailing her out sends the opposite message than what she needs. And why did the little intro on this story say 24,000 in debt when it was nowhere near that? Or did I read it wrong?
Load More Replies...
Sweet Fanny Adams 10 months ago
Do they not have debit cards in America? Also, a similar note, when someone passes their driving test, don't they buy cheaper secondhand car for newly qualified drivers? Cheaper to insure and to maintain.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago (edited)
Of course we have debit cards, but people don't usually use them, because the consumer protection with credit cards is typically higher, building a credit score is very useful in the US and takes years of advance borrowing, and you can earn money back and rewards for holding the [free to open and maintain] card. If you're a responsible consumer, it's a great idea to get a credit card; you simply never ever buy anything that you don't currently have the money in your bank account to pay off even if you were to be fired tomorrow and not have an incoming money stream and pay off the full statement each month, so you never accrue a cent of credit. I've earned $350 this year in rewards, and I never pay the company interest or anything. But if you're not a responsible consumer... you've got a problem and have no business with a credit card.
Load More Replies...
Cosmikid 10 months ago
You want me to help with this? Ok. Give me all your credit cards. You can have them back; when you've paid me back. Not before. Or? Well, homelessness is looking you dead in the eye.
Zoe's Mom 10 months ago
Some stores will give you a temporary card to shop with just for the day or just look your account up so you can charge. So, this method of taking her cards won't work. My personal issue with CC debt was that I went to Consumer Credit Counseling. They took all my cards and put a stop on them. I paid them one lump sum and they paid the credit cards. It took about a year and a half but I was out of a $15,000.00 credit card debt and NEVER did it again.
Load More Replies... Captain McSmoot 10 months ago
OP's daughter might think her mother's a jerk, but she also thinks she's living within her means. All that to say, OP shouldn't care what her daughter thinks since she's wrong. Her daughter is a moron.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 10 months ago
I had serious debt problems when I was young. My parents were extremely house poor, and chose to keep that to themselves. They thought they were protecting us. I never saw them paying bills or even saving for a purchase. When I grew up, I quickly got lost in debt. I wish I'd had the sense to ask for/accept help when my debt was only $3000.
InfiniteZeek 10 months ago
I have never owed money to anyone, no banks, credit cards, rent, etc, and I am in my 40s (f**k that's weird to write, I'm old dammit). Is it because I am rich, bwahahahahah f**k no, I live paycheck to paycheck. I just always understood that if I have x then I can spend x, not x+1 or +2 or anything, it's x or less. Are there things that I want to buy that I can just throw on a CC? Yes. But my desire to owe no one anything is stronger. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Alyssa Phillips 10 months ago
Once or twice a year I take a month's worth of paychecks out of the bank in cash. I sit down with my children and show them my written budget. I then pull money off the cash pile and put it in the bill pile. It helps them visually see why we can't randomly go to the beach tomorrow or buy that laptop on a whim. The older ones also get to see where the money goes--"my baseball dues are more than we spend in food for a month?" "We pay HOW much for water?"
martin734 10 months ago
Guess what? This is part of being a f*cking adult. She is far from being a child and needs to take responsibility for herself. I think the parent is being perfectly reasonable, this is not her debt or her responsibility to sort it out. By all means help plan a budget and try to teach her to be more responsible but at 24 it is time for the daughter to be responsible for herself.
DarkViolet 10 months ago
Some folks have to learn the hard way. Credit cards are a whole lot of fun, and credit card companies are happy to oblige. It's all good--until the bills come in. Then it's a financial nightmare when you can only pay the minimum amount. You KNOW you're in debt when: 1) you have more credit than cash, 2) you are paying 25% or more of your take-home pay towards credit card debt, and 3) you're having to rob Peter to pay Paul (you're foregoing paying one bill to cover another one). Been there, done that. I haven't had credit cards in nearly 20 years, and I don't miss them in the slightest. Unless she wants to end up beyond broke, OP's daughter had better get financial counseling and start paying down that debt. If the credit card companies don't sock it to her, IRS sure will.
Jessica SpeLangm 10 months ago
Good for mom. My parents didn't teach me budgeting or any financial help. I'm not complaining about the fact that they covered all my expenses growing up, but when I got a job it would have been a HUGE help to me if they taught me about budgeting and credit cards and such. Now 35 years later I had to learn on my own about budgeting and keeping my credit card paid off. Thanks mom and dad, but no thanks.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago (edited)
I don't think saying "no, pay your own card" is necessarily indicative of having laid down a comprehensive, scaffolding framework for personal finance from ages 13–18.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Maybe she can get a job at those food places she's so keen on ordering from... I learnt hard lessons about debt but have never asked my family to bail me out. I now know that my whim spending will come back to bite me with literal interest.
Thomas Hunt, Jr. 10 months ago
Not everyone is good with money. Even if you've been brought up right about financial responsibility. I'm the screw up of the family. My younger sisters aren't. As such, as was my choice - I only use temporary cards and I am not holding them. Why? Give me money and I'll spend it. Nasty impulse I honestly have no control over. And I'm 46. Once I came to terms with it (at 25) only then was I able to get some help. Being homeless and living out in the streets helped with that realization. That and sleeping outside in -20 degree weather....yeah, not fun.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago
I think the parent is obligated to pay the debt if they can easily afford to do so, regardless of the cause of the debt, IF she agrees to cut back and arrange an immediate repayment and budgeting plan with him. A bad credit score will f**k your life up. But that sounds like it's not the case.
Mammie 10 months ago
I disagree. Sorry, I think it's her debt and if the parent bails her out she learns nothing except that they'll bail her out so she don't have to act responsibly. Bailing her out sends the opposite message than what she needs. And why did the little intro on this story say 24,000 in debt when it was nowhere near that? Or did I read it wrong?
Load More Replies... Sweet Fanny Adams 10 months ago
Do they not have debit cards in America? Also, a similar note, when someone passes their driving test, don't they buy cheaper secondhand car for newly qualified drivers? Cheaper to insure and to maintain.
rorschach-penguin 10 months ago (edited)
Of course we have debit cards, but people don't usually use them, because the consumer protection with credit cards is typically higher, building a credit score is very useful in the US and takes years of advance borrowing, and you can earn money back and rewards for holding the [free to open and maintain] card. If you're a responsible consumer, it's a great idea to get a credit card; you simply never ever buy anything that you don't currently have the money in your bank account to pay off even if you were to be fired tomorrow and not have an incoming money stream and pay off the full statement each month, so you never accrue a cent of credit. I've earned $350 this year in rewards, and I never pay the company interest or anything. But if you're not a responsible consumer... you've got a problem and have no business with a credit card.
Load More Replies...
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