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They say honesty is the best policy, but on a first date? That’s a bold move. First dates are usually all about compliments, laughter, and maybe a little exaggeration about how often you go on hikes. But sometimes, honesty decides to kick down the door and make itself at home, spilling the tea before dessert even arrives.
While it’s refreshing to be upfront, there’s a fine line between being candid and delivering the kind of truth that makes your date rethink their life choices, like having a best friend “with benefits.” Because, let’s face it, some things are better left unsaid, at least until date three.
More info: Reddit
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First dates should be like appetizers, light and easy, not like a heavy main course
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Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One guy took his Bumble match on a fancy date, but left dinner early after she confessed that she was going to meet her “friend with benefits” the same evening
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/0-2.jpg "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
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The man took the woman on a date, picking her up from her house, and promising to drive her back to her best friend’s house for movie night after dinner
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/date-leaves-girl-stranded-restaurant-3.png "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The date went very well, and the man was having a great time, until his date confessed her best friend is a guy she sometimes makes out with
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/author_e5cb3a5ebf3fcf5e40a6af31844dbcb6.jpg "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
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Image credits: hawraz karim / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man paid for his meal and left dinner early, but later posted an update saying his date reached out to apologize, asking if he would give her a second chance
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/5-30.jpg "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
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Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The man told the woman he regretted leaving her at the restaurant by herself and not paying for her meal, but explained that he doesn’t want to see her again
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The man asked if he’s a jerk for leaving his date at the restaurant after she admitted she was going to meet her “friend with benefits” at his place, after dinner
One lucky Redditor thought he’d found the perfect match on a dating app. But what started as romance and flirting turned cringey really fast. Our guy matched with Ana on Bumble and, according to him, sparks flew right away.
They had great conversations, shared laughs on FaceTime, and built up that kind of chemistry that makes you excited for a first date. Hoping to impress Ana, the original poster, who I’ll just call AJ, booked a fancy restaurant, even offering to pick her up and later drop her off at her best friend’s house. Sweet, right?
The evening started really well – great food, good vibes, and Ana letting loose with a few drinks since AJ was playing chauffeur. Everything was perfect until the end of the date, when Ana let something slip. She casually asked AJ to drop her off at Josh’s place.
Wait, who’s Josh? Oh, just her guy best friend, with whom she has movie nights and the occasional casual makeout sesh. Who thinks it’s a good idea to tell their date about their “friend with benefits” during the first date? Talk about ruining the vibe.
AJ, understandably, felt like he’d been hit by a truck. While he appreciated Ana’s candor, the idea of playing chauffeur to her romantic rendezvous with Josh wasn’t sitting well. So, he politely paid his portion of the bill, suggested Ana ask Josh to pick her up, and left. I don’t know about you, but I would have probably done the same thing.
Don’t get me wrong, genuine friendships are priceless, and lots of folks have platonic friendships, no drama. But there’s a big difference between “we’re just friends” and “are you sure you’re just friends?” And so begins the never-ending debate: can men and women really be just pals? Well, it’s not a straightforward yes or no; it’s more like a “depends on the vibes” situation.
Research shows that women are usually more likely to believe in the magical land of totally platonic friendships while men are more likely to think, “Yeah, but what if…?” Sure, both sides know that attraction can mess things up, but guys are a little less likely to see it as a big deal.
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/date-leaves-girl-stranded-restaurant-1.png "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Our Redditor later posted an update, and it’s clear he did some soul-searching. After ignoring Ana’s texts for a week, he finally opened them, only to find that Ana wasn’t mad. In fact, she apologized again and offered to cut ties with Josh if it meant salvaging their connection.
AJ admitted he felt bad about how he handled the situation, even offering to send Ana the money for her dinner. But despite Ana’s efforts to make amends, AJ realized the spark was gone. He respectfully ended things, and Ana, though sad, accepted his decision with grace. After all, she’s the one who overshared on the first date.
Honesty is key in relationships, that’s true, but honesty is not always the best policy, especially when it includes oversharing. Dropping a bombshell like Ana’s on a first date can overwhelm your partner and leave them questioning your intentions. Sure, being upfront is great, but there’s a fine line between keeping it real and oversharing your way into awkward-ville.
Experts agree that honesty builds trust, helps you communicate your needs and enables authenticity, which is always a good thing. However, dumping too much truth, especially early on, can leave the other person reeling. Sometimes, timing and tact are just as important as transparency, because not all truths need a spotlight, especially when dessert hasn’t even hit the table yet.
So, what do you think? Should AJ have stuck around to give Ana another chance, or was he right to call it quits? Drop your honest answers below!
People in the comments are shocked by the woman’s honesty, saying she should just cancel the agreement with her friend if she likes her date as much as she says she does
![“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/comment_8e469a5bcbe7f29a7cf699fe9a9ae177.jpg "“Am I The [Jerk] For Leaving My Bumble Date ‘Stranded’ At A Restaurant?”")
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What do you think ?
CP 17 hours ago
Personally I wouldn't have a problem with that. A first date does not signify exclusivity, but everybody is different. OP did nothing wrong especially after getting good advice and then talking it over with her.
Anyone-for-tea? 17 hours ago
I agree, I mean it isn’t something I would do, but you can’t expect exclusivity from before the first date. I would personally if I was going to have a physical relationship with them, but not beforehand. It is a bit off asking him to drop her off there though, although maybe say they’ve made out in the past, but wouldn’t be doing that after such a wonderful date?
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 11 hours ago
It's fine to realise you aren't compatible, but no reason to be rude about it. And it's fine if someone isn't into you, don't be rude about it.
CP 17 hours ago
Personally I wouldn't have a problem with that. A first date does not signify exclusivity, but everybody is different. OP did nothing wrong especially after getting good advice and then talking it over with her.
Anyone-for-tea? 17 hours ago
I agree, I mean it isn’t something I would do, but you can’t expect exclusivity from before the first date. I would personally if I was going to have a physical relationship with them, but not beforehand. It is a bit off asking him to drop her off there though, although maybe say they’ve made out in the past, but wouldn’t be doing that after such a wonderful date?
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 11 hours ago
It's fine to realise you aren't compatible, but no reason to be rude about it. And it's fine if someone isn't into you, don't be rude about it.
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