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“I Just Want My Wife Back”: 30 Wild Secrets People Kept From Their Loved Ones
Relationships are built on trust, but let’s be honest—there are always a few harmless things you might keep to yourself. Maybe it’s your secret stash of chocolate or your obsession with cheesy rom-coms. While those little quirks are usually no big deal, hiding significant truths from your partner is a whole different story.
Recently, people online have been sharing the deepest secrets they’ve kept from their significant others, and the confessions range from heartwarming to downright shocking. Keep reading to dive into these raw, emotional stories and explore the weight of honesty in love and relationships.
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#1
I don't like mini golf. We went mini golfing on our 1st offical date. It was fun because he is fun. Now we go mini golfing at least once a year on summer vacation, we bring the kids now and it's this whole day. The kids love it, my husband talks about our first date, and the whole thing is so damn cute. But I hate mini golf. I'll never tell him, why would I, it won't do any good. After 20+ years it would just be mean. So every year I go and make the best of it. It's only fun because they're fun.
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#2
She moved from her home town to be with me. Her best friend from that home town was in treatment for cancer. She would go visit him periodically. I was good friends with him too. She had not visited him in quite a while (maybe a year) and couldn’t make it back for Christmas. She sent him a long letter and Christmas card, but messed up the address. He passed away suddenly, and the card ended up being returned to our home. I saw the returned letter in the mail and realized what happened. I threw it away and told her that she could have some solace in that he knew she was thinking about him before he passed. I will never tell her the truth.
#3
I just want my wife back. I want my wife who asked how my day was. I want my wife who reached for my hand on long car rides. I want my wife who would search slowly for my body in the dark. Depression is a thief. (Yes, she has seen help, medicated, it’s been 10 years) I know she loves me. But I wish I could tell her that her depression has robbed us both. That I know it’s not her fault. That I wish that even through the depression, she would see that I’m still here. I still care, and I yearn for the woman I fell in love with. I yearn for her to care for me the way I care for her.
Winnie the Moo 3 days ago
You can tell her that. It makes you seem less perfect, just a broken human being like her. Something to bond over.
When it comes to relationships, green flags are the little signs that let you know you’re on the right track. One major green flag? Open communication. If your partner is willing to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly without judgment, it shows they value honesty and trust—key ingredients for a healthy relationship.
Another great sign is when your partner respects your boundaries. Whether it’s giving you space for your hobbies or understanding when you need a quiet evening to yourself, mutual respect creates a safe and supportive environment.
#4
I didn't use Vantablack to paint their darkroom because it was far too expensive. I only used regular Dulux black paint, however, they and everyone they show believe it is Vantablack and therefore think it is amazing.
I suppose this secret is not as dark as it should be.
#5
About 6 months after I gave birth to my daughter I got pregnant again. My husband and I were living at his parent’s house at the time rent free, yet we still barely made enough money to support one child. I was devastated when I found out. Not only because of the financial burden, but also because my mental health made it a struggle to be a good mom to the kid I already had. I wanted an abortion and my husband agreed with me that it was the best option for us at the time. He was supportive and had an upbeat attitude about the whole thing right up until we checked in at the clinic. He broke down in the lobby and while he still supported my decision, he just couldn’t keep up the facade that he was ok with this any longer. Up until that moment I had absolutely no clue how sad he was about this, and my heart broke because I should have noticed. This didn’t change my decision, however. They make you get an ultrasound before the procedure and I decided that I would try to spare him a small amount of guilt. He didn’t accompany me to the ultrasound, so when it was done I went back to the lobby and gambled on a lie I hoped he would believe. I told him the ultrasound tech couldn’t find a heartbeat and that the fetus was not viable, but they would still perform the D&C instead of waiting to miscarry. He seemed so relieved that the decision to end this life was no longer ours to make. I genuinely think he believed it, but if he didn’t he has never called me out on it or questioned it. That was a decade ago and I still feel like s**t for lying, but at least he doesn’t have to live with the guilt or the regret for a decision I would have still made regardless.
d b 3 days ago
This one hits me hard. This woman went through an extremely difficult decision, did the best she could with what she was dealt, and has to now live with the consequences. But everything she did was done for care....care for her husband, care for the baby she already had, care for herself so she could get up in the morning and do it all over again. No guilt here. Wishing peace.
#6
I'm female and asked my male coworker for a hug. He's twice my age, so to me it was a dad-hug (my own dad's dead), but my husband would consider it cheating.
I had asked my husband for a hug the same day and he had refused because he wanted me to pull myself together first.
My coworker saw I was a mess and agreed to hug without hesitation.
Kindness is also a biggie. Whether it’s a small, thoughtful gesture like making your favorite coffee or going out of the way to cheer you up on a tough day, genuine kindness speaks volumes about how much they care.
How they handle disagreements is another green flag to look out for. If your partner listens, avoids blame, and works towards solutions, it shows emotional maturity and a commitment to making things work.
#7
That I actually do know how to change my own oil. He just gets so excited to do it for me so I pretend. Best part is, I hate changing my oil. Win win!
Floeckchen 3 days ago
I don't see a problem with that. You do not take away his fun and he doesn't take away from yours. Does it really matter if you know how to do it?
#8
I know of someone who didn’t want children and so had a vasectomy but didn’t tell his wife because she wanted children. He let her struggle on for years and even go through some fertility tests. It’s one of the darkest things I’ve heard of anyone doing apart from the obvious things like m**der.
Winnie the Moo 3 days ago (edited)
I would have told the poor woman!!! You can’t do this to people! She had the right to know and not to feel like her body is failing her. What a d*ck. Sometimes murder isn’t all that wrong…
#9
I work in a hospital so I have lots of weekdays off. I got bored one day and went to the casino since I haven't been in years. About twenty minutes in I won ~$5,000 on the slots. Immediately cashed out and I chose to pay the taxes there on the spot. Took the rest home. A few weeks later my wife had a conference in Vegas and I tagged along so we could make a long weekend of it. The day of her conference I bought a drink and wandered around the strip doing nothing. When she got out of the conference that afternoon I told her I "won $5,000 on the slots." Of course she was ecstatic because work had already paid for a room at the Cosmo and she had like $100/day in per diem so all that cash was spent on eating at Michelin starred restaurants and going to shows for free. I've never told her I won it at the dumpy casino twenty minutes from our house.
Finally, shared laughter might just be the ultimate green flag. If you can laugh together—even at silly or frustrating moments—you’re building a foundation of joy and resilience that will keep the relationship strong.
#11
My older sister has been insane for about two years now and we have been virtually no contact for the entire time.
My husband thinks it’s no big deal to me because of how “dumb” the situation is, but it really eats me up inside every single day. I can’t talk to him about how much it hurts me because he just laughs it off. I talk to my therapist just so I can release some of the tears and hurt I’m feeling because I just want my sister back.
#12
I hid cash to pay for a lawyer. I was up to about $12,000. My husband was always drunk, and it was destroying our family. He retired from the toxic corporate job and stopped self medicating with alcohol, so with therapy and time, we are in a good place now. He was pretty gobsmacked when I told him about it. We used some of the cash to pay for house maintenance, but there's still about $10k locked up in the house for an emergency fund.
Yayheterogeneity 3 days ago
That must have been a terrible time for you all. Glad you are in a better place now and that secret stach will become handy someday.
On the flip side, some behaviors are major red flags. One big one? A lack of trust. If your partner is constantly suspicious, checking your phone, or questioning your every move, it can be exhausting and unhealthy.
#13
I think the only secret I’ve kept is that she is honestly a terrible gift buyer. She is easily the sweetest most caring person I’ve ever met, who would do anything for anyone. And when she buys gifts in her heart of hearts she really thinks she did so good, and is so proud of herself. I will die with that secret because that beautiful soul does not need to be tarnished with that, but I am a grown man who loves the office, nothing about me screams I would like a music box that plays the office theme lol.
#14
He never took his meds and was always a d**k. So I crushed his leftover bipolar meds into his food every night so he would go to sleep and leave me alone. It was paradise while it lasted.
Floeckchen 3 days ago
Get out and save yourself. Unattended bipolar disorder often ends in tragedy for one or another.
#15
That I had initiated an escape plan to break up with my ex gf of a year. I found out she was stalking a former ex she had psychologically and physically abused and went around painting him as the abuser when really it was her.
After the PTSD settled in, a therapist confirmed I dated a vulnerable narcissist with sociopathic tendencies.
After I blocked her everywhere for my own safety she would go on to harass and stalk my friends and family to get information on my whereabouts.
It still affects me a whole year later. I've never met such an evil person in my entire life, but she will still cry the victim.
Another red flag is disrespect. That could be anything from belittling your opinions to ignoring your feelings. Relationships should make you feel valued, not diminished.
Pay attention to how they talk about their exes. If your partner spends too much time bad mouthing or obsessing over their past relationships, it might signal unresolved issues.
#16
I'm diagnosed with O.C.D. and one of the lesser known symptoms is dark/violent intrusive thoughts. I've mentioned I have them to my husband and only him but I've never told anyone exactly how awful they are.
You might think of the normal "call of the abyss" thoughts like jumping into traffic but it's turned up to 15/10.
Huddo's sister 3 days ago
My brother had OCD when he was really young and would do things like touching something 8 times. I was doing similar things and my mum had to explain to me that although I felt like I needed to do them (I think it was a sensory thing) it wasn't the same because I didn't feel like the world would end etc if I didn't do them. I often wonder what it was that triggered his OCD but he never talks about it, largely because he can't remember most of that period of time. Now I think about it, there isn't a member of my immediate family who hasn't had some type of mental illness or neurodivergence at least at one point in time. Except maybe my older brother, but since he was mostly non-verbal, who knows...
#17
That my depression and the resulting procrastination get worse and worse, despite being in therapy and taking meds. I keep a charade of enjoying my birthday gifts and liking our family trips, but every flicker of enjoyment I pay with thoughts of being undeserving. Each morning I wish I wouldn‘t have woken up, but keep slogging because I know that my s****de would k*ll my mother and traumatise our kid. .
Aballi 2 days ago
I have experienced my own horrific depression episodes for over 25 years now. I was diagnosed at 20. The last episode, which was truly a mental health crisis, lasted about 3 years. I had s*****al ideation just about every day. And oh man I know that feeling of waking up and being absolutely crushed by the realization that I would have to survive another day. I tried everything I could think of: med changes, therapy, meditation, exercise, spending time with friends, ketamine therapy, microdosing, more med changes. Eventually I just started to feel lighter, and now it’s been about 2 years that I haven’t been horribly depressed and about 3 months that I’ve been waking up and feeling stable and present. I don’t even think about how I’m feeling every morning which is a good sign that I’m feeling okay! I have the brain space to think of other things.I experience happiness in some form every day. Depression transports me into a dark, desolate, excruciatingly difficult, and hopeless bubble that separates me from the rest of the world. I’m so grateful to be back in this form of reality where I feel a part of my surroundings. It’s still a daily practice to challenge my imposter syndrome and negative beliefs about myself, but I’m glad I stuck around long enough to feel joy again.
#18
I love my wife about 5% less than before her affair. We've done a bunch of therapy, together and individually, and have reconciled and are doing well, but it's been years and at this point I don't think that 5% is ever coming back. I kinda miss it.
Brian Droste 3 days ago
Once that trust you had with a partner and that trust is broken, I not sure you can get that full trust back even if they are truly remorseful.
Control issues are another major warning sign. Whether it’s dictating how you dress, who you can see, or how you spend your time, control has no place in a healthy relationship.
#19
My (28m) stay at home wife(28f) thinks I make 80k a year....
I made 170k this year, just at work. I have $2000 from every paycheck, so 4k a month, going to a hidden high yields saving account at 4.5% apy. So she thinks I make about $2700 a pay check.
I also have an additional 4900 in military disability that is untaxed that goes to the same account. So 8900 untouched every month for the past 5 years... I have over 500k in this secret account.
We still rent a 2 bedroom apartment... and have a 4 year plan to buy a house. Our budget is 400k in those 4 years... what she doesn't know is a bought 30 acres 3 years ago in cash. And in 5 years I'm going to have her build her dream house with custom plans to build on the land with a budget of 1.5 million budget and pay cash for it.
#20
My husband kept a 10 year affair secret from me. My only secret is that I have a Reddit account.
#21
I didn't like his enchilada style burritos. They were mushy.
And while that is true, the more serious answer is that I was sexually abused by my father. It took me 20 years to find the courage to tell him.
Lastly, if your partner constantly avoids accountability—blaming others for their mistakes or refusing to apologize—it’s a sign they might not be ready for a mature, balanced relationship.
#22
Okay maybe a little darker then some but I have no one I can really tell this too...
Several years ago my husband's ex best friend sexually assaulted me. We were separated at the time and he tried to take advantage of my vulnerable state. We got back together shortly afterwards.
Same guy who assaulted me, is now in jail for being a p*do. That plus the other thing, I know my husband would k*ll him or beat him within an inch of his life at the very least. When the news broke about him being in jail he often talked about how much he wanted to kick his a*s. welp, I'm mostly over it but I'll probably take that one to my grave.
#23
My ex doesn't know that i missed my big career opportunity with better pay,location, and most importantly better mental health. I did that because i wanted to give her attention and support all the time. She was not doing good at that time. Well, she ended up cheating on me.
#24
I (40s M) started with watching Emily In Paris without waiting for my wife (40s F).
Keeping dark secrets in a relationship? That’s a giant, flashing red flag. While everyone is entitled to privacy, withholding something significant can break trust and lead to resentment. Whether it’s financial troubles, past relationships, or other major issues, honesty is the foundation of a strong partnership.
#25
I was sexually assaulted at a nightclub 12 years ago. When it first happened I was only 18 and thought that I was somehow to blame so I didn't tell my then boyfriend (now husband) at the time. I carried so much shame about it for years. I now realise that it was not my fault and that I could tell him. But it seems a weird thing to bring up after so long. I nearly did tell him earlier this year when I had a nightmare about it though but again, just couldn't do it.
#26
She doesn't know that I know she's been secretly keeping tabs on my Reddit account.
I know you're reading this.
#27
I hate to be the "not me but a friend" person, but it's appropriate. I had a friend who dated someone long-term whose father died in a freak accident when they were young. When things got more serious and they planned on getting married, my friend's future MIL confided to them that their partner's father had actually died by s****de. She asked that my friend never tell her partner, as she feared for her child's mental health if they knew. We kind of drifted apart so I have no idea how it is now, but my friend felt incredibly conflicted about this and wish she had never been told. .
Huddo's sister 3 days ago
I don't understand why the MIL would tell them. What does it achieve? Now there is someone who might spill the 'secret' they are keeping. I also don't think this is something the MIL should be hiding either, if her child is an adult. I can sort of understand why they might have said it when they were a kid but they deserve to know the truth about their father.
Which of these posts shocked you the most? And if you’re feeling brave—what’s the one thing you’ve hidden from your partner? Let us know in the comments!
#28
I was cleaning out our office and found a random, unmarked notebook. Turns out my now husband was once lamenting the fact that an attractive, female coworker would never be into him. This was several months after we started dating, had said "I love you", and spent every weekend together. It was a punch to the gut. Said he loved me but was pining after a coworker. And apparently I'm ugly enough to be with him.
MicrowaveGoddess 1 day ago
babygirl...why did you marry him? Leave his sorry a*s. You can do better
#29
I never told them how much I missed a big opportunity in my career because I didn’t want them to feel guilty about needing my support.
Floeckchen 3 days ago
Thats a clear case of: You don't have to starve yourself to feed others. When do you think it is your turn to feel happy?
#30
I would never share my own on here, for fear it would come out. But I did have a good friend in High School, late 80s, who’s dad had a whole nother family 2 miles away, and kept it all a secret til he was 80 something. The kids were all similar ages, how you never ran in to each other at a supermarket, baseball game, travel sporting high school event, beyond me, but he did it.
What do you think ?
Jessica SpeLangm 2 days ago
A lot of these are tragic because had OP actually talked to someone about these secrets, they likely would have lived a better life. Some of these are just idiotic secrets to keep.
Jessica SpeLangm 2 days ago
A lot of these are tragic because had OP actually talked to someone about these secrets, they likely would have lived a better life. Some of these are just idiotic secrets to keep.
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