Hey, what works works!

The cat in the background laughing its butt off.

To be honest, that is a good idea for a day calendar, but have it multiple times at random intervals

Wait, what have I been eating then huh? WHAT HAVE I BEEN EATING!

Revenge is a dish best served old.

OH

You'll have to explain it to me - I've never heard it called that before.

Oh lort, I feel this!

Heaven would be where every call for customer service or tech support is immediately answered by the person who can help you.

Paging Hall and Oates. Daryl Hall and John Oates, white courtesy phone

Hint: Kenny Loggins...

I get it but.....odd.

I believe it would be the one I wanted to buy.

Yup

Now THIS is funny!

Try cold water

Now then, lets give that good-for-nothing prince an offer he can't refuse

That's just cold!

Best explanation I've seen

My mom has asthma and diabetes, so I tried to cheer her up with flowers and chocolate

An immovable object, an unrelenting force.

Alien: Santa, remember the time I asked for a photon laser rifle and it never came? *Taps probe* I remember...!!!

My question with that story is why the prince was just like “hey look, a sleeping lady. I’ve got an idea! I’m going to kiss her!”

I want this in my neighborhood.

Doorsmash

Awww poor kitty

Wish I knew which prophecy this is referring to. Does anyone know?

I think the wheels needs to be much bigger for the guy

One would think a "closed" sign would be more effective at the TOP of the run.

Going to be honest.. i like the classic sunday paper comic vibe and I get why its "funny" but its a little too sexual assaulty feels poor taste.