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“I Cut Contact With Him”: 30 Parenting Mistakes From Dads That Leave Scars On Daughters
Interview With Expert
Becoming a parent is a magical experience. But along with all of the joy that comes from having an adorable little person relying on you, there’s also a mountain of responsibilities. Not only are you required to keep your children safe and healthy, but you should also ensure that they feel loved and supported at all times.
Daughters of Reddit have recently been detailing the most common mistakes that dads tend to make when raising girls, so we’ve gathered a list of their advice below. From being gentle with their daughters’ boyfriends to actually remembering their friends' names, enjoy scrolling through these tips for fathers. Keep reading to also find conversations with the Reddit user who started this thread and Jim Mckenzie, Founder and CEO of Everything for Dads, and be sure to upvote the replies you think should be required reading for dads!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Not listening and acting when your child says “no.” I’m not talking about issues of health and safely but more general “I don’t want to be tickled right now” or “please don’t call me that nickname you think is cute but I’ve told you I dislike.”
She HAS TO be able to trust that the first important man in her life will listen when she expresses what she will and won’t consent to.
Breadcrumb. 1 week ago
Teasing you and getting your siblings to join in is pretty gross behavior.
To find out how this thread started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Bluemonday82, who posed the question: "Daughters of reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?”
He shared that he doesn't remember exactly what inspired him to start this conversation, but he recalls a situation where he made a mistake with his teenage daughter and regretted it. "I realized that there could be other things that I was doing that were having a negative impact on her without being aware," the author explained. "So, I decided to create the question and hoped to get a couple of helpful responses."
We were also curious about how the OP's own dad was. "My father was very distant, in all ways. Honestly, I can't think of anything he did exceptionally well," Bluemonday82 noted. "He needed to be more present in the lives of his children, in all ways."
RELATED:
#2
The way they talk about women. Making assumptions about them easy, promiscuous, or a s**t based on how they dress. Making sleazy or fatphobic remarks on their body proportions. They make it like women exist for their viewing pleasure.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
THIS! This will make a child gain as much weight as possible to try and "hide" their developing body from gross alcohol fueled tirades from male relatives and their friends.
But thankfully, the OP says he parents his two children very differently than how his mother and father did. "I have a good relationship with them. They trust me, and they talk to me," he shared. "And unlike my own parents, every single day I tell them that I love them."
So what did Bluemonday82 think of the replies to his post? "First of all, I didn't expect to get so many responses, and was caught off-guard at how heartfelt and revealing they were. I read every single one of them. And it was not my place to agree or disagree with them," he told Bored Panda. "As a man and father, I read them to learn and understand. And I am very grateful to every single woman who replied to help all men learn how to be better fathers and better men."
"There were a few replies that surprised me. I expected the theme of different treatment between sons and daughters to be raised, but was surprised at how many women were hurt by not being taught practical skills that their brothers learned," the father continued.
#3
My dad and I recently talked about how he stopped showing physical affection when I hit puberty (20 years ago). He didn't know how to act because his sisters got treated inappropriately by others when he was young, and he wanted to be sure I never felt like that. It resulted in me never getting hugs or kisses on the cheeks anymore. He also didn't know how to talk about it in the past. But in the last years, he worked through so much of his rough childhood and really learned to express himself better. He apologized, and I said I understood and that his intentions came from a good place, that the only bad thing was all the hugs we missed out on. We hugged for a really long time after that, and we've been hugging extra tight ever since :)
So I guess what I wanna say is, don't treat your daughters differently when their bodies start to change. And always keep talking! I'm so proud of my dad for the person he's become
"Perhaps the most shocking were the women who recounted being shamed and sexualized for the clothes they wore in their own home around their family, even as young girls," the author shared. "I would never have thought that this could be so damaging. That was eye-opening."
"Perhaps the saddest were the replies from women who said that they never knew their fathers for a host of different reasons. Those responses were really hard to read. The pain that these women still felt went right through the screen and hit hard," the dad said.
Finally, he added that he hopes all men will read this article and learn from it to be better men and better fathers.
#4
Expecting different things from their daughters than their sons, especially when it comes to household chores. Like, Brother mows the lawn once a week but Sister has to do all the dishes, sweep the floors, and fold the laundry every day.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
This, like most of these, is a 2 parent issue. Mom's are just as guilty here.
#5
Not teaching us the same things they teach their sons ie) car maintenance, building s**t, power tools etc.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
I was lucky enough to have Auto Shop in high school, repairing staff cars. I received the highest grade in a class of myself and 24 guys. They talked a lot of shite, but I am still glad to this day for the knowledge and experience. Many mechanics have tried to put one over on me, to their deep regret!
We were also lucky enough to get in touch with Jim Mckenzie, Founder and CEO of Everything for Dads, who was kind enough to share his thoughts on this topic.
"After coaching and connecting with thousands of dads over my 30-plus years of fatherhood, I’ve seen two big mistakes dads often make with their daughters: Being way too overprotective [and] dismissing their daughters’ feelings," the expert says.
#6
Not having anything to do with their daughters because the dad "doesn't have anything in common with a girl". This goes double if a son shows up and the dad is really involved in the son's life.
Beak Hookage 1 week ago
My dad didn't have any sons. He got me into video games, fishing and science fiction movies, and my sister into motorbikes. You can bet we've got plenty to talk about to this day!
"Let’s start with the first one. Being overprotective can actually backfire and hurt your relationship with your daughter, especially as she grows up," Jim noted. "I totally get the fear—worrying about her safety or even things like accidental pregnancy. That’s completely normal (and moms worry about this stuff too!)."
"But some dads take it to an extreme. I’ve seen Facebook groups where dads joke about shooting their daughters’ boyfriends," he continued. "It might be meant as humor, but this mindset can push your daughter away. Instead of feeling safe coming to you with issues, she might just shut down."
#7
I cut contact with him nearly ten years ago, because he was an overall piece of s**t, but these are a couple of examples of how not to be a daughter's father. Or anyone's father.
When I was just hitting puberty, I was in a store with my dad and picked out a hair removal cream. He asked why I needed that, and I said for my under arms, and he laughed in my face. Loads of people looked at us really awkwardly. I was mortified.
Also, he would tell me off and call me names for showing emotions other than neutrality or happiness (but not too much happiness). When I was about 7 or 8, I cried watching "All dogs go to heaven", and he called me a "stupid f*****g c**t" for crying over a cartoon. Now I'm 28, with a monotone voice that I can't get rid of without putting a hell of a lot of effort in. I really struggle any time I get gifts, because I know my face and voice often don't show how grateful and excited I am. I also have anger issues, because I was never taught how to deal with frustration and anger, I was just made to bottle it up instead.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
Both parents can be guilty of this and it is more often directed at their sons from toddlerhood. It's a terrible oppression on any child, they grow up hating themselves for being human.
#8
Literally knowing nothing about their daughters lives. Those ‘funny’ videos where they ask fathers basic questions - like what their daughters birthday, or eye color, or school is, and the dads have no idea are not at all funny. I love my dad but he can’t tell you anything about me - even the name of the place I’ve worked for over 6 years.
#9
Acting like periods are disgusting.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
Periods are disgusting. The thing to complain about is that OP's dad associates that with shame. But there's no denying periods are gross, so are other bodily functions. Vomit, feces, athletes foot to name a few, are all disgusting. Shame is the issue you're complaining about. Mixing up messy and gross with I should be ashamed is the issue. Be specific.
"The second one—dismissing emotions—is another biggie," Jim shared. "A lot of dads don’t mean to do it, but it happens when they brush off their daughters’ feelings or don’t make space for real conversations. Once they do that, they are setting themselves up for future failure in their relationships. And let’s be honest, not every dad is great at diving into the things his daughter loves, so sometimes there’s a gap in connection that grows over time."
#10
Expecting your daughter to do all the (physical and mental) labor your wife does when your wife is not around.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
Viewing your daughter(s) as a wife/mother substitute for even the most upright intentions is still borderline creepy.
#11
My dad didn't do any of the stereotypical mistakes.
But as a fully grown woman, I can now look back and see how my dad never complimented me.
He never called me beautiful, or intelligent, or talented, or kind, or anything.
And I was. I was a lovely, smart, motivated, talented kid. But I was deeply insecure. I think a little encouragement from love would've done me so much good.
Eastendbird 1 week ago
Same. Everything I did was not quite good enough. He was quick to criticise but rarely, if ever, praised. I think I knew, deep down, that he loved me, but I never felt that he liked me or was proud of me.
Kelly Scott 1 week ago
I wouldn't have minded not being called beautiful or intelligent if I hadn't been called stupid and dumb all the time.
Ruth Watry 6 days ago
I learned that my dad did not complement me because my mom would get mad because dad might like me better than her, and she took it out on us.
Michael Largey 6 days ago
My father rarely complimented me. But every day his actions and attitude showed me the love, pride, and devotion he felt toward me. So there are other ways for the strong silent types to get the job done..
#12
Body shaming/ fat shaming
I’m a full grown adult and can name every single time he called me fat, told my friends I needed a diet, ate snacks in front of my and told me I couldn’t have any cause I didn’t need it. I quit theater in school cause ‘how many fat actresses do you see’. No good man will ever want me. Ect.. ect…
Don’t do that dads.
We also asked Jim if dads are more likely to make these mistakes than moms. "Honestly, yes," he shared. "And I think it comes down to how society has shaped us. Historically, moms have had this 'village' of support for raising kids, while dads were told to be the tough ones."
"Most of us were raised by dads who didn’t show emotions, let alone talk about them. Vulnerability? Forget about it—it was seen as weak. Those old-school ideas haven’t disappeared completely, even though things are starting to change," Jim explained.
#13
The one mistake my dad made was not really being present. A lot of the memories I have of him are him watching tv or being on the computer and not having time to play with me, he always said he’s too tired or he’ll come play later but then he never did.
so since we never really bonded when I was little we weren’t all that close as I grew older either.
Jane No Dough 1 week ago
There was a few years where you could look around and see that this traditional dad behavior was disappearing as it was no longer socially acceptable. Now, both parents have their faces in their phones constantly, yet talk about their kids ignoring them.
#14
My dad wanted to raise intelligent and capable daughters but also wanted to be treated like the family patriarch. We had to get good grades but any attempt to express individuality was crushed. Quelle surpise, I developed depression as a teen. Got therapy for it, the therapist had a family session and told my dad he was f*****g up. Therapy stopped.
Also he and my mother were miserable together, and I internalized a lot of bad ish about how they treated each other that took about a decade to unpack and overcome. Together or not, treat your daughter's mother with kindness and respect.
Lastly, studies have shown that girls who are taught about bodily autonomy and consent aren't at any greater or lesser risk of being victimized by a r*pist. But knowing 'your body is yours and your consent matters' makes them more likely to report abuse and assault.
#15
The whole "tell your bfs I've got a shot gun" mentality.
That's the quickest way to teach them to hide bfs from you. A) it's unnerving and B) it means you don't trust their choices.
Much better to have a home where the boys are expected to come in and meet you, you get a feeling about them, then have a rational discussion with your daughters later on. Not a raging 'get rid of him' kind of chat. Like a chat where you say I didn't like how he said this to you, does he respect you, etc. She'll be more likely to listen to logic, and more likely to come to you if she's worried or unsure about things.
Open dialogue rather than telling her you know better. Odds are, you DO know better. But telling her that shuts her down and she feels like you don't value her thoughts or opinions. So she won't open up to you again.
StrangeOne 1 week ago
I know it's supposed to be either a joke or a poor way to threaten boys to treat her right, or not break her heart. It's no better than mothers getting jealous of their son's girlfriends.
"The problem is, a lot of dads today haven’t been given the tools or space to adapt," Jim says. "Asking for help still feels like a no-go for many guys, which is why we see a mental health crisis and such high rates of [taking their own lives] among men."
"This is one of the reasons I’m still so passionate about helping dads. Things are moving in the right direction, but we’ve still got a lot of work to do," he shared. "Thankfully, I see more moms recognizing that dads need help too, and that’s a step in the right direction."
#16
I can't speak for anyone else, but my standards for how I expected to be treated in a relationship came from watching my dad interact with my mom. And surprise, surprise, my first relationship was with an emotionally abusive and controlling person who made me feel like I was worth nothing. (I went to therapy and now I'm in a healthy relationship and don't speak to my parents. :))
So I would say the way you treat your wife is a reflection of the relationships your daughter will probably default toward in the future. If you treat your wife kindly, like a person who is worthy of respect and care, your daughter is likely to find a partner who does the same for her. If you don't, the reverse becomes more probable.
#17
Doubting the sincerity/professionalism/skill of other women they encounter because they’re women.
One time my dad said “you know they only put that woman [insert title of car show] on the mechanics team for one reason (hinting at the reason being eye candy).”
It stayed with me. I had been dealing with a lot of sexism in the industry I was pursuing — making a connection inevitably led to a request for a dinner date or a sexual proposition — and it really made me depressed to hear my dad say something like that about a woman who probably really did have an interest in cars.
He didn’t get why I was so upset.
#18
Not apologizing or taking accountability for making mistakes, everything was always everyone else’s fault….which means we now have a surface level relationship because he could never be open or self reflective.
So what advice would Jim give to dads who want to maintain strong relationships with their daughters?
"Prioritize active listening and create a safe space for their daughters to express themselves," he told Bored Panda. "Nothing makes a daughter warier of her father than feeling dismissed or talked over—especially during the teenage years. While teens can often interrupt or challenge you mid-conversation, it’s essential to remain patient, even when it’s frustrating."
"If you want to have a strong bond with your daughter, start by being a good listener," Jim continued. "Not just 'uh-huh' listening—really listen. Give her the space to talk without jumping in to 'fix' everything or cutting her off."
#19
Being *too* overprotective. It has the opposite effect. Your daughter will be so scared of your overreaction that if something actually happens, she'll be hesitant to tell you.
#20
Thinking that your daughter's emotional needs are being met by her mother. Even if mom and daughter are very close and talk often, it is still important to ask your daughter about her day, her relationships, her triumphs and struggles. My mom is my best friend, but our relationship was more volatile than my relationship with my dad and I was scared of disappointing her. My dad was often neutral territory and got to hear all the gossip before mom did. My dad was awesome!
#21
Not showing/explaining what a good man/partner looks like.
Susie Elle 1 week ago
My dad's absence (paired with my mom's own issues) let my boyfriends get away with toxic behaviour for years. I never learned how to set a boundary.
Jim says it’s also super important to get involved in what your daughter loves. "Whether that’s sports, art, music, or something completely different, showing genuine interest goes a long way," he shared. "One of my daughters is obsessed with all musicals, and I’ve sat through the Disney version of West Side Story and gritted my teeth…! Do I love all these modern musicals? Not really – especially the Disney West Side Story (Rita Moreno could still do a better job at 93 years old!) But does my daughter love that I do this with her? Absolutely—and it’s worth it every time."
#22
Expecting that we will accept their wrongs as easily and readily as our mothers did.
#23
Telling women to be more patient and tolerant of the men in their lives because they “don’t know any better” and that it’s the woman’s job to keep the household together.
This came from my single mom and she has a son and a daughter who are both adults. Guess who still cooks, cleans, and does the laundry for their son while the daughter does that for herself in the same household?
Teach your daughter to respect herself more. If any person (man or woman) can’t keep up with basic physical and emotional expectations, teach them. If they are unteachable or not respectful, leave them.
#24
Treating women poorly. Giving different rules because you’re a girl. Leaving and thinking their daughters don’t want or need your attention anymore. Not having actual conversations with them.
"It’s also important to show vulnerability. Sharing your personal experiences fosters trust and connection," Jim continued. "For dads who may struggle to connect, the key is finding common ground. Learn about your daughter’s hobbies just as you would with a son. Please don’t label certain sports or activities as 'male-only.' Daughters who feel underestimated or seen as 'weak' can develop resentment."
"For example, I’ve had (and still have) competitive soccer kickarounds with my two eldest daughters (now 24 and 26), and they love knocking me around on the field," Jim shared. "I’ve raised my daughters the same way I’ve raised my sons—to be kind and compassionate but also tough and assertive when needed."
#25
Do not embarrass your child when they hit puberty, or exclaim in a store”she needs a bra, she has breasts now” . I wanted to die that day.
The Queen Of France 5 days ago
I got teased by both parents when I hit puberty. Took me the next 25 years to get past my insecurities.
#26
Asking your child if they’re on their period when they display any emotions. Also not spending quality time with your daughter because you only want to do “boy” things with your sons.
Beak Hookage 1 week ago
Like I said in an earlier comment, my dad shared his "boy" interests with me and it was a major factor in bonding. We had and still have so much fun together! :D
#27
Treating sons differently when it comes to bf/gf relationships....
My younger brother was caught making out in the high school bathroom with a girl and my dad said good job 🙄
I was in high school and he saw me with a guy's arm around me, no kissing, and absolutely freaks out, grounds me etc. Like what the actual f**k.
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
This is something I see on tv all the time. Parents who freak out about girls dating, having sex etc, but either say nothing or encourage boys who do the same thing at the same age or earlier. Mind you they also still show boys being shamed for not losing their virginity by a certain age but girls are shamed for doing it by the same age. I think some things are showing progress in media, like representing LGBTQA+ more and mental health in a more positive way, but there are still big changes needed to represent more realistic, healthy interactions between young people and parents.
Finally, Jim noted that, "Toxic masculinity is sadly pervasive today, and it’s on fathers to set an example of strong and compassionate leadership. We can lead with kindness and strength and teach our kids—both sons and daughters—how to be better."
And if you'd like to learn even more about this topic, don't hesitate to reach out to Jim at Everything For Dads!
#29
Not trying to understand or communicate with them. I was the only girl in my friends group that had a father she could hold a conversation with. Most of my girlfriends had fathers who were toxic or not involved. They never talked about feelings or thoughts. It was sad. My father and I talked about all kinds of things and he taught me about everything. I could ask him anything. He took the time.
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
My best friend and I had polar opposites for dads in many ways. My dad and I talk about all kinds of things, including politics and ethics. All my friend's dad seemed capable of was lecturing or preaching. My dad is agnostic and I am Christian, but we can discuss our beliefs without any judgement or hate. My friend's dad was very much 'my beliefs should be everyone's beliefs' and all his children had to go to the same church as him, weren't allowed to date until they were at least 16 and definitely not allowed to have sex before marriage because of his beliefs (my friend shared many of his beliefs when we first were friends but she has branched out and questioned a lot of things). All this meant was she hid her relationships (and later the abuse that occurred) because of what he would think. My dad has always said we should make up our own minds what is right for us. My friend didn't invite her dad to her second wedding because at the first one he preached about same sex...
#30
Not showing a healthy range of emotions or how to work with emotions.
My dad was of the “emotions are irrational and should be shut down” camp. Ie. Scream at the kid to stop crying.
Because anger didn’t count as an emotion.
What do you think ?
Tamra 1 week ago (edited)
My dad did so many of the worst things in this list, that I just stopped reading halfway through. If any of you have a parent who dropped the ball like this, just remember: you can be the person you want to be, not the person they made you feel like when they were failing miserably as a parent.
Kimberly Bailey 1 week ago
My dad passed away in 2018 at the age of 65. If you have a good relationship with your dad please give him a big hug for me :) I’d give almost anything to hug mine one last time
Laserleader 1 week ago
If your dad is gay, it's not a good idea for them to be hitting on your boyfriends, or asking when you will be bringing boyfriends over. Saying inappropriate sexual innuendo to your friends to try to look "cool". Definitely don't ignore your daughter when she says she doesn't like your friends who are hitting on her inappropriately. And if she comes to you and says they make her uncomfortable, listen.
LavenderHippoInAJar 1 week ago
Dads, please don't treat your daughter's bras as weird or disgusting, especially if she has larger breasts. Most of you have probably seen a bra before; don't just make it a "mom thing".
Kitty 🥀 4 days ago
Almost every single top comment was about how “it’s both parents’ fault” and “moms do that, too.” That wasn’t the f*cking question. The question was, what the biggest mistakes are that dads make with their daughters. Not what the biggest mistakes moms make are. I’m so f*cking sick of the “not all men” bullsh*it. We KNOW not all men, or dads, do. The problem is that ENOUGH men and dads do this c**p for there to be a problem. As me how I know. Ask me how many women I know who have problems with their fathers more so than their mothers.
MartiBob 1 week ago
I actually had a great father, but 1 thing did mess me up a bit. Comments were often made comparing my sister and my looks. Not often, but once is all it takes. It was understood but not openly acknowledged that I was the "prettier/thinner" girl in the family from indirect comments. This messed up my sister and I, especially her. It's so sad to watch her struggle as an almost 50 yr old with body image issues, it's an unhealthy obsession that comes up in all conversations. I, on the other hand, HATE anyone saying anything about my looks, even if it's positive. Don't comment on your daughters looks, please. It's OK as a dad to occasionally say "you're beautiful to me", but stop at that.
Tabitha 6 days ago (edited)
When you have four boys and one girl, and the girl is the smartest of all five kids, but you actively discourage her from going to the college she wanted to—-and could—-get into, even though you helped all four sons all the way through college, even though their grades weren’t anywhere near as good. Because keeping the baby and only girl dependent on you means she’ll be a built-in and free nursemaid for you in your old age. Sure, dangle to carrot of inheriting everything to reel her in—-but hide the fact that you’re spending all your money hand over fist so there’s going to be nothing but bills when you die. Needless to say, I left home at 18, went 100% no contact, got my college education all on my own and graduated Summa Cum Laude, was 100% independent (still am), and never even lifted a finger to help when he got old (he was also way better off financially than me and could pay for all the help he could hire, ffs). Oh yeah, I doubt everyone’s sincerity and find it difficult to 100% trust anyone, plus one can manipulate me into doing or agreeing to things I don’t want to, because I learned all the signs from a master, who was a consummate actor (not professionally).
Pandarosa 1 week ago
The biggest mistake my dad ever made was thinking I wouldn't choke him out in defence of my mother and siblings.
Michele Garrard 6 days ago
Blame your mother for making a poor choice of a father to hear children. For the most part, women aren't forced to procreate
Load More Replies... HanSolo 1 week ago
I was able to relate to a lot of things posted here . One of worst things that a father can do is compare the oldest and the youngest child. I happen to be the oldest and whenever I make a small mistake or express my emotions a different way than my sibling does, (always calmly) he doesn’t hesitate to mention what my younger sister does, and why how she acts is better. He says things like: “Well your sister doesn’t do that” or “Why can’t you do the same.” Second worst thing that a father can do is make comments on his daughter’s clothing and being very opinionated in what she should wear and the style she should like. I have always been modest and I love color coordinating my outfits, but to my dad all of this isn’t good enough. For him every and anything I wear HAS to be flattering. I get it, but sometimes us girls just want to wear what is comfy. In the end, I have to give up on my own clothing preferences, and wear accordingly to my father’s opinions and expectations.
Tamra 1 week ago (edited)
My dad did so many of the worst things in this list, that I just stopped reading halfway through. If any of you have a parent who dropped the ball like this, just remember: you can be the person you want to be, not the person they made you feel like when they were failing miserably as a parent.
Kimberly Bailey 1 week ago
My dad passed away in 2018 at the age of 65. If you have a good relationship with your dad please give him a big hug for me :) I’d give almost anything to hug mine one last time
Laserleader 1 week ago
If your dad is gay, it's not a good idea for them to be hitting on your boyfriends, or asking when you will be bringing boyfriends over. Saying inappropriate sexual innuendo to your friends to try to look "cool". Definitely don't ignore your daughter when she says she doesn't like your friends who are hitting on her inappropriately. And if she comes to you and says they make her uncomfortable, listen.
LavenderHippoInAJar 1 week ago
Dads, please don't treat your daughter's bras as weird or disgusting, especially if she has larger breasts. Most of you have probably seen a bra before; don't just make it a "mom thing".
Kitty 🥀 4 days ago
Almost every single top comment was about how “it’s both parents’ fault” and “moms do that, too.” That wasn’t the f*cking question. The question was, what the biggest mistakes are that dads make with their daughters. Not what the biggest mistakes moms make are. I’m so f*cking sick of the “not all men” bullsh*it. We KNOW not all men, or dads, do. The problem is that ENOUGH men and dads do this c**p for there to be a problem. As me how I know. Ask me how many women I know who have problems with their fathers more so than their mothers.
MartiBob 1 week ago
I actually had a great father, but 1 thing did mess me up a bit. Comments were often made comparing my sister and my looks. Not often, but once is all it takes. It was understood but not openly acknowledged that I was the "prettier/thinner" girl in the family from indirect comments. This messed up my sister and I, especially her. It's so sad to watch her struggle as an almost 50 yr old with body image issues, it's an unhealthy obsession that comes up in all conversations. I, on the other hand, HATE anyone saying anything about my looks, even if it's positive. Don't comment on your daughters looks, please. It's OK as a dad to occasionally say "you're beautiful to me", but stop at that.
Tabitha 6 days ago (edited)
When you have four boys and one girl, and the girl is the smartest of all five kids, but you actively discourage her from going to the college she wanted to—-and could—-get into, even though you helped all four sons all the way through college, even though their grades weren’t anywhere near as good. Because keeping the baby and only girl dependent on you means she’ll be a built-in and free nursemaid for you in your old age. Sure, dangle to carrot of inheriting everything to reel her in—-but hide the fact that you’re spending all your money hand over fist so there’s going to be nothing but bills when you die. Needless to say, I left home at 18, went 100% no contact, got my college education all on my own and graduated Summa Cum Laude, was 100% independent (still am), and never even lifted a finger to help when he got old (he was also way better off financially than me and could pay for all the help he could hire, ffs). Oh yeah, I doubt everyone’s sincerity and find it difficult to 100% trust anyone, plus one can manipulate me into doing or agreeing to things I don’t want to, because I learned all the signs from a master, who was a consummate actor (not professionally).
Pandarosa 1 week ago
The biggest mistake my dad ever made was thinking I wouldn't choke him out in defence of my mother and siblings.
Michele Garrard 6 days ago
Blame your mother for making a poor choice of a father to hear children. For the most part, women aren't forced to procreate
Load More Replies... HanSolo 1 week ago
I was able to relate to a lot of things posted here . One of worst things that a father can do is compare the oldest and the youngest child. I happen to be the oldest and whenever I make a small mistake or express my emotions a different way than my sibling does, (always calmly) he doesn’t hesitate to mention what my younger sister does, and why how she acts is better. He says things like: “Well your sister doesn’t do that” or “Why can’t you do the same.” Second worst thing that a father can do is make comments on his daughter’s clothing and being very opinionated in what she should wear and the style she should like. I have always been modest and I love color coordinating my outfits, but to my dad all of this isn’t good enough. For him every and anything I wear HAS to be flattering. I get it, but sometimes us girls just want to wear what is comfy. In the end, I have to give up on my own clothing preferences, and wear accordingly to my father’s opinions and expectations.
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