She did say what now?

He was already a dad as it seems....

Which one was more likely to topple over?

Even I knew to not answer that way and I'm not good at that...

He's generous I'd say! Giving up toys (even potential ones, not bought yet) is not that common! :)

She will never forget!

Isn't that how it happens? :D

Well... we kind of assumed... I mean, we tried not to think about it. Still trying not to think about it, actually.

She has a point

Well, they do pee in there. Only it is normal and probably hard to grasp for a 5-year-old.

I also don't trust people that don't like chocolate so i agree

That's a mistake you can make only once

Achievement unlocked: dad jokes level 1

A little hippo

It's already weird that a stranger is asking a pregnant woman how far along she is, but to ask about your reading progress is even more weird!

My wife is trying to tell me I’m not allowed to share my food with the dog. I think she’s begun plotting. To the animal people: I do share with her. She and I split a spoon of peanut butter when I need her to take her pills, and it’s the only way she’ll take them. I eat half, then, showing it’s not poisoned, give her the other half after slipping g the pills in.

*cowboy voice* There's only room for one of us in this here Pillowtown.

If I'm carrying a baby for 9 months i can play the card anytime i want

How are you still alive?

🤦. This joke is funny, but it's a palm-slap to the face!

😅😅😅lol

Maybe she wants it to be precisely 23C?

You think people judge you for no reason? Hold my beer! (Sorry i had to....)

No touchie the belly. No touch.

Creepy incest vibes too, well done.

Yes, you should massage this woman's feet on the daily for the next 18 years! At least.

Lol

While pregnant my wife stood on a chair to clean and I told her it was dangerous and to get down and she said no. Icecream van turned up and she told me to get her one. I said she had to get down first. It was like watching a hippo trying to get down a poolside ladder. She did not make it down in time before the icecream van drove away. I was laughing so hard I did not see her in one sweeping move pick up a firepoker and stab me hard, drawing blood and saying "f**ker" Never mess with a pregnent women!

Red Wedding.

yeah IT can

I disagree. This was a great response.

Same

ba dum tisssssssss

In the Bob Ross voice "and look he has a little friend with him.

Be honest, you just wanted to be able to say 'well I declare Eclair'.

You don't have to be that nonstop during the whole pregnancy but the less (negative) stress she gets the better

Leave on a high!

Seriously, within the last month, just say, "due in X weeks". Much easier for everyone.

No, no you're not.