“[Am I The Jerk] For Shrugging When My Dad’s Wife Told Me They Need All Of Dad’s Money Right Now?”
People’s actions have long-lasting repercussions that they don’t even think about when they are doing something that’s not right. For instance, when a person cheats on their spouse, not only does the infidelity affect their relationship, but it also adversely impacts their child and the way this kid perceives the parents.
Our poster also went through a similar situation where his relationship with his dad was ruined after the father cheated and married an affair partner. To mend things with his son, the man agreed to pay child support to his ex, but the new wife was not pleased with this as she wanted the money for her kids.
More info: Reddit
Teen’s dad cheated on his mom and married the affair partner, but he still wanted to gain back his son’s respect and was willing to do anything for it
Image credits: Florian Doppler (not the actual photo)
The teen demanded that he pay child support to his mom as it was the least he could do for ruining everything for her and him
Image credits: u/Salt-Ship4148
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
The father agreed and even though the mom felt weird taking the money, she knew it was the only way her son wouldn’t feel obligated to help her financially
Image credits: u/Salt-Ship4148
Image credits: Lukas (not the actual photo)
But the stepmom was against this arrangement as she wanted the money to pay for the multiple extracurricular activities that her kids did
Image credits: u/Salt-Ship4148
She told the teen to stop taking money from his father and played the family card, but he refused as she said that his mom was not their family’s problem
This is a story about a teenager (Salt-Ship4148) who got into a quandary due to his father’s actions. When the original poster (OP) was 14, his dad cheated on his mom and left her to marry his mistress. Well, cheating is quite common in the US, where 20% of married men cheat on their spouses, and this man was one of them.
When the couple separated, the court ruled 50/50 custody of the teen who knew his mom would struggle on her own as she didn’t make as much as his father. On the other hand, his dad was aware that the kid thought badly about him for what he did. But he wanted to keep a good relationship with him and was willing to do anything.
The teen insisted that he pay child support to his mom as she deserved it after what the man did to her. Psych Central states that finding out about a spouse’s cheating can be a devastating experience for most people and it can have a long-lasting impact on the affected people.
And our OP, at such a young age, was able to understand the hardships his mother would go through. He was also aware that she would need financial help as she didn’t earn as much as his father.
It has been observed that “75% of children experience lingering feelings of betrayal toward their cheating parent, 80% say that the infidelity shapes their outlook about romance and relationships, and 70% describe the infidelity as affecting their general trust in others.”
Maybe the dad was aware of the damage he caused to his son, but no matter the reason, netizens said that his efforts to mend the relationship and do damage control were responsible of him. However, it couldn’t erase the complete damage. He agreed to pay the money and OP’s mom was able to go back to school so she could get a better job.
Even though she felt weird about the money, she knew that it was the only way that her kid wouldn’t feel obligated to help her financially. But his stepmom was totally against this arrangement.
Especially at this time, she abhorred it as her family was struggling a little. During their struggles, her kids from previous partners had to drop some of their extracurricular activities from the numerous ones they were doing. Now, she didn’t want that for her kids. So, she confronted OP and told him to stop taking money from his father.
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
According to the stepmom, her kids were the poster’s “family” and he should think about them, while his mom was not their family’s problem. Probably annoyed by this, the teen just callously shrugged and replied that her kids were not his problem. Many of the Redditors frowned at this woman and the way she used the ‘family card’ on her stepkid. It’s just convenient, isn’t it?
Netizens said that she and her husband were homewreckers who got what they deserved for taking advantage of good people. In fact, she sounds like the typical evil stepmom from fairytales as folks pointed out how she must be just after the money.
OP said that she expected his father to be one of those guys who just hurt and abandoned people. But she must’ve been upset to find that he was not so, rather willing to take some responsibility to get his son’s respect.
People also mentioned that it was none of her business that he was getting the money from his dad and if she had a problem with it, she should take it up with him rather than bothering the teen about it. They also pointed out that her kids were only missing two activities from tons of other ones they did, which was not a big deal and she was making a mountain out of a molehill.
She even replied to OP saying that they would need therapy to adjust to this change. The Redditors mocked her for this comment and even the poster couldn’t help laughing when she said it to him. They also questioned the absence of her kids’ fathers from the scene as she should be demanding child support from them instead of trying to snatch away the teen and his mother’s money.
Quite a few peeps also applauded the poster for putting his mom’s needs over his own dislike of his father. Evolve Therapy has mentioned, “Infidelity can shock a family, leaving children in emotional turmoil. Often, unsuspecting and innocent children can experience a range of emotions such as confusion, anger, sadness, and even guilt when they discover their parent’s affair.”
Looks like the teen might be suffering too. But his big-heartedness enabled him to think about his mom over his own pain. Just makes us hope he doesn’t have to suffer more from the whole situation. Wouldn’t you agree? If you have some other opinions that you would like to share, don’t hesitate to express yourself in the comments, so, just scroll down and type away!
Redditors backed up the teen for putting his mom’s needs over his dislike for his father and they said that this was karma’s way of repaying the two homewreckers
Poll Question
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Dad's 2nd wife needs to get a job, besides "entitled homewrecker." :)
The homewrecking affair partner has no right to complain. If she wants HER kids to do extra curricular activities, then she can get a job and lay for it.
The proper and only response would be, "You should talk to your husband about your family concerns".
“You should stop nagging your husband so much. He might have an affair and leave you too.”
Load More Replies...Dad's 2nd wife needs to get a job, besides "entitled homewrecker." :)
The homewrecking affair partner has no right to complain. If she wants HER kids to do extra curricular activities, then she can get a job and lay for it.
The proper and only response would be, "You should talk to your husband about your family concerns".
“You should stop nagging your husband so much. He might have an affair and leave you too.”
Load More Replies...
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