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Dad Knows His Son And His Male “Friend” Are Secretly Dating, Asks People How To Tell Him It’s Ok, Posts A Wholesome Update
Quarantine has brought people from all over the world back to their families. And as we’re once again setting foot into our childhood rooms, dining with parents, and getting that puzzle out from the attic, some things have changed.
And one dad definitely noticed. After his son came back with his friend to self-isolate together, the dad was convinced they’re a couple. He “strongly suspected” that to be the case since his son’s teenage years, but now “more or less [has] confirmation that this is true.” But the question he went on to ask Redditors sounds easier said than done: “How do I let them know it’s okay?” In no time, the dad became one of the most loved internet dads ever with 55K upvotes and everyone begging to get adopted. The story doesn’t end here, because the cool dad just came back with the wholesome update, which is plain heart-melting.
RELATED:
The dad posted this question on the r/relationship_advice subreddit alongside the whole backstory
Image credits: throwralovemygayson
Everyone was eager to help dad and he received tons of advice
And the dad came back with the most wholesome update!
Image credits: throwralovemygayson
Human Rights Campaign recently released a National Coming Out Day Report that explores the difficulties American teenagers face. The survey run on more than 10,000 LGBT-identified youngsters showed that 9 out of 10 (91%) came out to their close friends. Significantly less, only 56% said they’re “out” to their close family members.
The same survey showed that a staggering 30% of LGBT youth say their family is not accepting of their sexual orientation. 19% claim “they’re scared of reaction, afraid, or don’t know how their family will react.” 10% confessed they don’t have a strong relationship with their family and coming out to them isn’t an option.
Acceptance from parents is one of the most important antidotes for the many psychological challenges LGBT youth have to face. According to psychologist Dr. Earl Turner, “Parental rejection can exacerbate depression among LGBT youth and is a significant risk factor for suicide and risky behavior among this population.” Parents probably have as much direct influence on their LGBT kids as their friends.
People were amazed by how supportive this dad is
What do you think ?
Cori 5 years ago
This had me in actual tears. What a beautiful, wonderful man! I tried to tell my mom that a friend I had once brought over to the house was actually a girlfriend and she very coldly said, 'well, I hope you got THAT out of your system.' I didn't. I just never mentioned it to her again and have effectively hid a major part of myself from my entire family as a result. I wonder how different my life would be if she had reacted in a positive (or at least a neutral) way. At the very least, I probably wouldn't be going through a divorce from a husband who walked out on me and our 2 small children.
Stacy B 5 years ago
I'm sorry for your experience. I'm straight, but can't understand when a parent has that reaction especially to their child. I've told my kids that there's nothing they could do that would change my love and support of them (including murder) or negatively impact our relationship. As long as my kids find love and happiness then I'm good. You have to do what's best for you and your kids. Life's too short to be surrounded by negative even if they happen to be "family".
Load More Replies...
Theherplover 5 years ago
My parents told me and my sibling from basically the second we were born that no matter who I was or what I did or did not believe in that they would always love me. I wasn't sure if I was gay or straight or bi but then I remembered what they said and I just talked to them and they said "it doesn't matter who you are just love who you love because we love you"
your_lesbian_friend 5 years ago
I was in the same boat as you, my friend! My parents always told me I could tell them anything, but still, coming out to them very emotional (i cried) and my mom was like "why are you crying? you know we still love you" hah! tears shed over nothin' i suppose :)
Load More Replies...
Andrea Anthony 5 years ago
this queer person who is estranged from her mom is literally crying right now. positive parenting of LGBT+ children does exist and it warms my heart to see it. I also really love that this dad didn't feel he needed to act like he knew it all. it's okay to ask for guidance and help and be vulnerable. <3
TheKnightOwl 5 years ago
Im sorry you don't have a relationship with your mom. It's painful when a parent doesn't accept you for who you are. I'm sure you know this already, but I wanted to say that you are worthy of being loved unconditionally by your parents. You are not flawed for being queer, she is flawed in her thinking. I hope you've been able to make peace with everything.
Load More Replies...
Erin 5 years ago
When my brother came out, he did it at dinner with most of the family there (most of the brothers, my mother and father, and me). He told us that he was gay and had a boyfriend (this was the 80's and we didn't have a lot of the terminology that we have now). My brothers were like, "yeah, we know." My mother told him that it was still his turn to do the dishes, and my dad reminded him of the "Relationship Rule" (we weren't allowed to be serious with someone unless the family met them) and demanded he have the boyfriend at the house for dinner that Sunday so that "we can get a look at him." I always admired my parents for that - they just accepted it and demanded to meet the boyfriend and life went on.
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
Amazing family, really. But... How went dinner that saturday??? Don't let us hanging there!!!
Load More Replies...
Foregone Conclusion 5 years ago
I get dad's point. I had a close friend who is gay and knew he was however I didn't want to force him to tell me. He made a 'friend' and they were always together. I knew it was his new boyfriend but again, I thought if he wanted me to know he'd tell me. A few months later he finally told me ask scared ... my response was 'and?'. He was so worried but I really couldn't have cared less as long as he was happy!
Draco Malfoy 5 years ago
This man is incredible. First of all, even though he made a mistake at first, he had the courage to admit it, and make up for it the best he could! Second of all, he is so supportive, and third, he is genuinely worried about what his son will think of HIM! I wish every man were like this.
Must Be Bored Again 5 years ago
My son was very fortunate to have a "practice family". He was in a Summer Foreign student exchange program in Costa Rica. He went from our very rural, little town, we're talking "not a single stop light" to a city in the multiple millions population so he was able to practice "coming out". When he arrived home, we met him at the airport. When I saw him, the first thing out of his mouth was "I have something really important to tell you!" We arrived back at our hotel room, the others went inside and my son would not even let the door close, "Mom, we have to go on a walk." So we headed for our walk but he couldn't wait! "Guess what?!?" "I'm GAY!" I looked at him and replied "I know, I've know since you were 2!" 2around what?" "Guess ,Mom wwhatwhat,
Must Be Bored Again 5 years ago
Sorry my comment kept being weird, ignore the line or so.
Load More Replies...
Kanga9ine 5 years ago
I worked with a girl that made working more fun and not so dreary. One night as we waited for customers, kind of tipsy from their bathtub margaritas stroll though, she turned to me and she just had to tell me something because she wanted me to know. I thought she was dying or worse. She looks at me and says "I'm gay". That's it. That's what you scared the s**t of me making a big deal! What's that got to do with anything? So now you won't be my friend? A persons sexuality is they only thing they ever truly own. People abuse it by judging, shaming, guilting, bible thumping, and even killing. I don't care what they do behind closed doors. And no one else should either. Kudos to this man. He's like iron. Tested by the fires of his own hell and come out stronger. And a shining example of what we miss by judging others. Thanks for being a real dad and a real man. Your son is going to be a better man because of you.
Cori 5 years ago
This had me in actual tears. What a beautiful, wonderful man! I tried to tell my mom that a friend I had once brought over to the house was actually a girlfriend and she very coldly said, 'well, I hope you got THAT out of your system.' I didn't. I just never mentioned it to her again and have effectively hid a major part of myself from my entire family as a result. I wonder how different my life would be if she had reacted in a positive (or at least a neutral) way. At the very least, I probably wouldn't be going through a divorce from a husband who walked out on me and our 2 small children.
Stacy B 5 years ago
I'm sorry for your experience. I'm straight, but can't understand when a parent has that reaction especially to their child. I've told my kids that there's nothing they could do that would change my love and support of them (including murder) or negatively impact our relationship. As long as my kids find love and happiness then I'm good. You have to do what's best for you and your kids. Life's too short to be surrounded by negative even if they happen to be "family".
Load More Replies... Theherplover 5 years ago
My parents told me and my sibling from basically the second we were born that no matter who I was or what I did or did not believe in that they would always love me. I wasn't sure if I was gay or straight or bi but then I remembered what they said and I just talked to them and they said "it doesn't matter who you are just love who you love because we love you"
your_lesbian_friend 5 years ago
I was in the same boat as you, my friend! My parents always told me I could tell them anything, but still, coming out to them very emotional (i cried) and my mom was like "why are you crying? you know we still love you" hah! tears shed over nothin' i suppose :)
Load More Replies... Andrea Anthony 5 years ago
this queer person who is estranged from her mom is literally crying right now. positive parenting of LGBT+ children does exist and it warms my heart to see it. I also really love that this dad didn't feel he needed to act like he knew it all. it's okay to ask for guidance and help and be vulnerable. <3
TheKnightOwl 5 years ago
Im sorry you don't have a relationship with your mom. It's painful when a parent doesn't accept you for who you are. I'm sure you know this already, but I wanted to say that you are worthy of being loved unconditionally by your parents. You are not flawed for being queer, she is flawed in her thinking. I hope you've been able to make peace with everything.
Load More Replies... Erin 5 years ago
When my brother came out, he did it at dinner with most of the family there (most of the brothers, my mother and father, and me). He told us that he was gay and had a boyfriend (this was the 80's and we didn't have a lot of the terminology that we have now). My brothers were like, "yeah, we know." My mother told him that it was still his turn to do the dishes, and my dad reminded him of the "Relationship Rule" (we weren't allowed to be serious with someone unless the family met them) and demanded he have the boyfriend at the house for dinner that Sunday so that "we can get a look at him." I always admired my parents for that - they just accepted it and demanded to meet the boyfriend and life went on.
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
Amazing family, really. But... How went dinner that saturday??? Don't let us hanging there!!!
Load More Replies... Foregone Conclusion 5 years ago
I get dad's point. I had a close friend who is gay and knew he was however I didn't want to force him to tell me. He made a 'friend' and they were always together. I knew it was his new boyfriend but again, I thought if he wanted me to know he'd tell me. A few months later he finally told me ask scared ... my response was 'and?'. He was so worried but I really couldn't have cared less as long as he was happy!
Draco Malfoy 5 years ago
This man is incredible. First of all, even though he made a mistake at first, he had the courage to admit it, and make up for it the best he could! Second of all, he is so supportive, and third, he is genuinely worried about what his son will think of HIM! I wish every man were like this.
Must Be Bored Again 5 years ago
My son was very fortunate to have a "practice family". He was in a Summer Foreign student exchange program in Costa Rica. He went from our very rural, little town, we're talking "not a single stop light" to a city in the multiple millions population so he was able to practice "coming out". When he arrived home, we met him at the airport. When I saw him, the first thing out of his mouth was "I have something really important to tell you!" We arrived back at our hotel room, the others went inside and my son would not even let the door close, "Mom, we have to go on a walk." So we headed for our walk but he couldn't wait! "Guess what?!?" "I'm GAY!" I looked at him and replied "I know, I've know since you were 2!" 2around what?" "Guess ,Mom wwhatwhat,
Must Be Bored Again 5 years ago
Sorry my comment kept being weird, ignore the line or so.
Load More Replies... Kanga9ine 5 years ago
I worked with a girl that made working more fun and not so dreary. One night as we waited for customers, kind of tipsy from their bathtub margaritas stroll though, she turned to me and she just had to tell me something because she wanted me to know. I thought she was dying or worse. She looks at me and says "I'm gay". That's it. That's what you scared the s**t of me making a big deal! What's that got to do with anything? So now you won't be my friend? A persons sexuality is they only thing they ever truly own. People abuse it by judging, shaming, guilting, bible thumping, and even killing. I don't care what they do behind closed doors. And no one else should either. Kudos to this man. He's like iron. Tested by the fires of his own hell and come out stronger. And a shining example of what we miss by judging others. Thanks for being a real dad and a real man. Your son is going to be a better man because of you.
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