Why would you want to have a child with a partner you’ve obviously have bonded so little with, that you wouldn’t want to share the very beginning of your child’s life?

That is not so strange, she may have a good reason for it. My son’s father wasn’t in the room for his birth either, but we’d talked about it. The strange thing is that he doesn’t even seem to know why, which means she haven’t even tried to explain it to him or talk to him. When he feels so strongly about it, I think she should have. Perhaps talking openly could’ve helped putting whatever bothers her about it to rest. Because something obviously does bother her. Her apparently not wanting to talk about it is odd.

I mean the obvious answer is that you don't want to, but if you're past a certain point in the pregnancy you can't legally get an abortion and illegal abortions are really dangerous, so you just make the best of a bad situation.

A lot of people don’t seem to realize something. For any man who wants a child, the day of the child’s birth is one of the most important days of his life. It’s almost like asking him to not be in their wedding because “it’s her choice.” It’s his child too, and nothing will ever change that. I know I would be devastated if my wife said that to me.

@TheBreadKnight, I get what you are saying but consider this. It's only been relatively recently that having the man in the delivery room has been normalized in Western society. So part of that expectation is just because society changed. I was born in 1964 and it was unheard of back then for the father to be there. But, experts say that whoever is in the delivery room helping the woman had better be the best person for the job, and that means sometimes it won't be the father. I have read about women kicking the fathers out of the delivery room because the men couldn't handle the stress of witnessing their wives in such pain. That increases the stress for the woman to have him present, which increases the pain she experiences. It is important that whoever is with her is going to be calm, after all, this is a potentially life-threatening situation. I do believe that OP'S wife is wrong by not discussing this with him and giving him a reason.

I would agree with this and we don’t have all the information we need to decide . These days it isn’t uncommon for future parents to attend classes on birthing also if he’s been there at the drs. appointments why remove him now ?

Glad to be able to agree on something.

She sounds cold and removed from the relationship . It could be stress or something else .

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"It is her body going through the procedure, not his, and as such, she gets to make that decision." 100% wrong. It's *their* child, and you cannot change that.

It's HER body. He can still see the child, later. Christ you act like he's being stripped of custody.

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"she has made tremendous sacrifices to get this far" and he hasn't?? He had input in this too, you know? And if she decides she doesn't want to raise this child with him, he's *still* got to pay child support. You cannot have it both ways; either its equally their child or it isn't.

His “contribution” to bringing this child into the world involved an orgasm. Her contribution included, but is not limited to, pain, nausea, heartburn and bones adjusting to accommodate the growing baby, not to mention the pain of childbirth. Their contributions are not equal.

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So he's nothing but a sperm donor. Gotcha. Nice to know how you feel about fathers.

All your dignity goes away in the delivery room. You are in so much pain and there is a lot of blood, poop and other fluids coming out of your body. Not every woman wants their man to witness it. Also some men faint in the delivery room or start to panic. My husband was with me there and I cannot imagine it otherwise but he is a health worker. Still I felt some degree of embarrassment even though I know there is nothing to be embarrassed about. I totally understand women who dont want any man there. The husband can wait right behind the door and he wont miss anything. Still this woman is an AH for being rude to OP not for not wanting him there

I almost up voted this before I realized you were being sarcastic. Why do men feel victimized by their inability to suffer for their fetuses and then doubly act as victims because their lack of suffering is venerated? It'd be neat if your penis got shredded to bits by the birth of your child and you had equal standing with your baby mama (or at least that's how you seem to feel), but at a certain point you just have to grow up and accept that babies gestate inside of the female parent and not the male one. I suppose that's a traumatic thing for some men to accept, but there's no denying that a cisgender man will never be able to be pregnant. It's just life.

@J.Maxx. I didn't get that from Clare's comment. But how is it unreasonable for a woman to want to make sure that the person assisting her in the delivery room is the right person to help her through a very scary, painful and potentially life-threatening process? Not everyone is suited to be in the delivery room and the wrong person can make the woman's stress a lot worse. That's why even in the delivery room hospital policy is that the woman can ask to have any witnesses removed if they are making her stress worse.

@Fat Harry, you have missed the point. I’m not saying he hasn’t made sacrifices. I’m saying the mother had to make a lot more, including putting her body on the line. @J. Maxx, when it comes to the biological creation of the baby, yes, that’s all the man has to do. The mother’s role is infinitely more demanding and difficult. Yes, there’s more to being a father and a husband, but when it comes down to the actual biology, the father does very little.

@Fat Harry, it's equally their child but SHE is the one going through a very scary, painful, and potentially life-threatening experience, and it isn't unreasonable for her to want to be sure that whoever is with her will be a calming influence. Not everyone is suited to be in delivery room because it is a very stressful environment that includes lots of pain and blood. That's why it is always the woman's choice and is backed up by hospital policies. She even has the right during delivery to ask for any witnesses to be removed if they are stressing her out. OP's wife is wrong for not discussing her reasons with him and for insulting him. But she isn't wrong in deciding who will best fit her needs at a very traumatic moment.

Fat Harry, are you suggesting you view sex as a sacrifice? Maybe you should consult a physician or psychiatrist.

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Wow. Of course until the baby is born and then he is responsible for helping to take care of it, right? Not letting the dad share in the birth because it's her body has a whiff of misandry to it. Not nice.

@J. Maxx, she should discuss with him her reasons why, but to assume misandry is a bit much. Sometimes the father just isn't the right person for the job because he can't handle witnessing the pain and blood. If the wrong person is trying to support the woman but can't remain calm, that increases her stress and pain. Remember, giving birth is potentially a life-threatening situation, you don't want anything in the environment that could make things worse. THAT'S why it should always be the woman's choice, and hospital personnel have the authority to escort the husband out of the room if he is stressing her out too much.