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We find a joke entertaining because of its perfect timing, clever reference, or its artistic delivery. We hear the funniest jokes in standup performances, popular YouTube videos, or from that one guy everyone wants to be friends with. It's not easy to come up with a very funny line for most of us. However, that doesn't stop us from trying. From time to time, everyone wants to be the center of attention, admired for their creative quick-thinking. And the stupid jokes we spit out in the process might be... bad. Terrible. Absolutely horrible. Such terrible jokes, they're actually good. When Reddit user indurative-conseils asked the internet, "What's a joke that's so stupid it's funny?", their post immediately went viral, generating over 70k upvotes and nearly 15K of bad jokes. The world got to see a refined collection of bad dad jokes as never seen before. Enjoy!

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#1

A Blonde And A Lawyer

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

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chi-wei shen
chi-wei shen
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This joke isn't bad at all. It's an example of "Pride Comes Before a Fall".

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Interestingly, some researchers believe they've found out why we're amused when we're let down by dumb jokes. Dr. Nancy Bell and a team of her colleagues told the following silly joke to almost 200 people: "What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing. Chimneys can't talk."
#2

Problem With Unemployment

I have many jokes about unemployed people. Sadly none of them work.

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The most common reaction to this unbelievably hilarious joke was laughter, a response given by 37 percent of the people. The second-most popular response was something mildly negative like saying, "That's not very funny."

Next came bland, non-committal remarks like 'Okay'. Just a few people were rude about the joke or made sarcastic comments about it. Only 6 percent rolled their eyes or shook their heads, and a tiny 0.5 percent groaned.
#3

Changing Names

To be frank, I'd have to change my name.

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Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist from Hertfordshire University, added they are probably laughing at some of the worst jokes because they're caught by surprise. The main element of comedy.

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Dr. Bell also noted that strangers were far more likely to be polite when told a bad joke than friends or loved ones. "We found that social relationship was highly significant, suggesting that responses to failed humor among intimates will be most direct and negative, while strangers and acquaintances will tend to use more neutral responses."
#4

Pros And Cons

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

Well the flag’s a big plus.

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로희
로희
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm amusedly annoyed, if that makes any sense.

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#5

Two Cows

Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says to the second “ have you heard about this mad cow disease? It makes cows go crazy and then they die”. The second cow replies “ good thing I‘m a helicopter”

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#6

Broken Utensils

Courtesy of my daughter-

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can’t opener.

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#7

Forms Of Flattery

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

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#8

Saying Your Piece

Say what you want about deaf people.

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#9

Principles Of Color

What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

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#10

Red And Bad

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

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#11

Salmon, Anyone?

They say smoking kills, but it cures salmon.

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glowworm2
glowworm2
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only downside is that once they start, they're hooked.

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#12

Terribly Terrible

I bought the world's worst thesaurus today. Not only was it terrible, but it was also terrible.

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#13

Happy Janitor

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

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#14

A Pirate's Love

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?

(Wait for them to say Rrrrrr)

A: Yarr, yee’d think so, but me first love be the C!

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Chris
Chris
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 5yo told me this last week. Followed by "what's a pirate's favourite place to sail to? Arrrrrrgentina"

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#15

Just One Word

Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says " May I just say one word?" Sure she replies." Plethora" The widow says" Thanks. That means a lot"

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slackjack
slackjack
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says, "May I just say one word?" "Sure," she replies. "Bargain." The widow says, "Thanks, that means a great deal."

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#16

Pirating

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

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#17

Vanishing Into Thin Air

A Mexican magician told his audience he was going to vanish on the count of three. He counted, "Uno, dos..." and disappeared without a tres.

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#18

Natchitoches

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?" She leaned over the counter and said, "Burrr-gerrr Kiiing."

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#19

Two Drunk Whales

Two whales are drunk at a bar. One whale says... (make long whale coo-ing noises until everyone around you is pretty uncomfortable. Like I'm not shitting you, at least 1-2 full minutes of weird off pitch whale noises)

The other whale says... (Do a deep inhale like you're about to make more weird whale noises and so that everyone around you almost gets pissed and unfriends you on Facebook) "Go home, Frank. You're drunk"

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#20

Sharing Is Caring

Why can't hedgehogs just share the hedge?

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L1z4rd
L1z4rd
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is my husband's favourite joke, though as he tells it "Hedgehogs, why don't they just share?"

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#21

Good Guess!

"Hey, guess what!"

"What?"

"Good guess."

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#22

Dyslexia

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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#23

What Do We Want?

What do we want? "Airplane noises!" When do we want them? "Nyeow!"

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#24

Alligator In A Vest

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator

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#25

The Lightbulb Joke

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just Juan

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Ande Abdrop
Ande Abdrop
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does an opera singer screw a lightbulb? She holds it still and the World revolves around her.

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#26

No Running

You can’t run through a camp site. You can only ran because it’s past tents

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#27

Chasing Nuts

What did one nut say when it was chasing the other nut?

Im a cashew

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#28

Little Legs

What was E.T short for?

Because he had little legs.

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#29

So Many 'D's

Why did Edward Woodward have so many ‘d’s in his name?

Why?

Because without them he'd have been called Ewar Woowar.

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#30

Very Well

Why'd the old man fall down the well? Because he couldn't see that well!

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#31

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Being told I was deaf was really hard to hear.

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#32

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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#33

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A man walked into a zoo. There was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu.

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Avital Pilpel
Avital Pilpel
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A cross between a bulldog and a Shih Tzu is called a a bullshitz.

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#34

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’

I couldn’t turn it down.

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#35

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

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#36

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A drummer’s wife had quadruplets. He wanted to name each one Anna. She asked how they will tell them apart. He replied, “Anna1, Anna2...”

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#37

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Why do scuba divers jump backwards out of the boat?

Because if they jumped forward, they’d still be in the boat

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#38

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be Bagels.

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Aria
Aria
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So that seagull I fed my breakfast scraps could have been a cannibal

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#39

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador

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#40

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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#41

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.

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#42

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A man enters a pun contest in his local newspaper. He sends in ten puns, hoping at least one of them would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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#43

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

how do you think the unthinkable?

with an ithberg

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Avital Pilpel
Avital Pilpel
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an old sergeant major in the British Army told his platoon, "don't eff the ineffable".

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#44

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Two soldiers are in a tank. On, looks at the other and says, "BLUBLUBLUBLUBLUBLUB."

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Beeps
Beeps
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two fish in a tank. Says one to the other: “How do you drive this thing?”

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#45

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

If Russians pronounce B’s as V’s then Soviet.

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#46

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A skeleton walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, “I’d like a beer and a mop.”

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#47

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Why can’t the pope be cremated?

Cause he’s alive

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#48

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't like the Flinstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooooooooooooooooo!

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#49

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Two cats are having a swimming race, one is English and one is French. Both are called 1, 2, 3. Which one won?

The English cat because un, deux, trois cat sank.

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#50

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

I told my mum that when I'm older I was going to build a car out of spaghetti, you should've seen her face when I drove pasta.

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JeffC
JeffC
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you heat about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way the other day

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#51

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

A psychic dwarf was committed for murder. After a few days in prison, he broke out. He was a small medium at large.

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Podunkus
Podunkus
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember first hearing that joke well over 30 years ago on a rebroadcast of a BBC television show called “The Two Ronnies.”

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#52

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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JeffC
JeffC
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor poor little no arm Sarah...falls off swings and is still stuck outside the door to this very day.

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#53

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

I used to be good a telling jokes, but now I just punch up the f**k line.

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#54

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Quiet horse

Quiet horse who?

(In a whisper) Neigh...

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#55

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

I stole this from online, but I used it at work and got a bunch of laughs.

While using the step ladder, someone said "What do you need that ladder for?" I replied. "I never knew my real ladder. This is just my step ladder."

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#56

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.

It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes."

The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 300 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish. The first guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

The second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

The third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

The first guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him anymore.

The second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.

The third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways. Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going.

The first guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years."

The second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

The third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says: "Guys, I think I f**ked up."

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#57

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

Two men walked into a bar and the third guy ducked.

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#58

Jokes-So-Bad-Its-Good

What did Stevie Wonder say to the Seagull?

"I can't see s**t"

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