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Stepmom Asks If She Should Tell Stepdaughter That Her Dad Installed A Tracking Device In A Car He Gifted Her
Recently, a 36-year-old woman turned to the AITA community on Reddit to ask for advice. Her husband of three years has one daughter “Christine” and she is about to turn 18 years old, so he has bought her a new car as her birthday gift.
However, the relationship between the author’s stepdaughter and her husband is not going well. “I have to say that’s he’s incredibly overprotective of her but has done things that affected their relationship. Like, how he caused her to break up with her ex boyfriend after he got diagnosed with multiple health conditions.” No wonder Christine has grown distant from her dad.
Now, the author’s husband wants to reconcile with his daughter and bought her a car she always wanted for her birthday. So imagine the woman’s shock when despite her husband claiming he wants back his daughter’s trust, he installed a tracking device in her new car. This didn’t sit well with the author, and the family conflict followed.
RELATED:
Overprotective dad installs a tracking device in the car he bought for his daughter’s birthday despite claiming he wants to gain back her trust
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Throwaway3490771
To find out more about parents who track their children and how it may affect the trust and relationship between them, we reached out to Anisa Lewis, a certified and accredited expert parenting coach specializing in positively transforming the lives of clients and their families.
According to Lewis, tracking your kids can be a good thing for a parent as it brings peace of mind; however, it is the manner in which it is done that is the overriding factor. “If it is being used to catch your child out, or potentially because there is a breakdown of trust or a need to control, then this needs addressing.”
“Open and honest communication with your child around the need to track, what and when parents might access the information and how they are going to use it is of paramount importance,” Lewis explained.
The parenting coach said that a dialogue to establish the boundaries and possible consequences is needed. “This helps your child to feel part of the process rather than the object being controlled. It also means that there are no surprises for your offspring or indeed yourselves.”
When asked whether a parent can ruin the relationship with their child if they find out they’re being tracked, Lewis said that potentially yes, “as it is a sign that trust and respect may not have been established.”
Reasons why some parents wish to control their children, no matter their age, comes down to “a big question and one that has many possible answers and not all of them straightforward,” Lewis said. The parenting coach believes that “primarily some parents control their children in order to keep them safe or they are parenting in the way they were parented and don’t know any different.”
Many people expressed their support for the author in this whole situation
What do you think ?
JoJO Banks 2 years ago
My friends have two kids in college and they have trackers on the kids' phones. The made the kids aware that they have it so slightly different than this. That being said, one of the parents uses it exclusively for tracking the kids when they are driving home from school (or if they are on a road trip, etc.) to make sure they are ok. The other parent makes up excuses and pretty much tracks their location whenever. Every time I hear the parent talk about how one of the kids hasn't left their room most of the weekend or that they must be at the bar it drives me absolutely nuts. To me that is a blatant abuse of power and invasion of privacy. The OP needs to set boundaries and protect her daughter and probably herself at some point because her husband will do the same to her.
A B C the Third 2 years ago
"he's trying to regain her trust" - "he'll install a tracking device in her car". Well, do I need to say more?
Zenozenobee 2 years ago (edited)
He doesn't want her trust to respect it or for the sake of a healthy relationship. He wants her to think he is trustworthy so that she tell him things he wants to know and listen to what he decides is good for her. It's only about manipulation and control. Plus, trust ins't about presents or materiel goods. I would feel insulted if someone did bad things to me and then try to buy my forgiveness with money.
Load More Replies... JoJO Banks 2 years ago
My friends have two kids in college and they have trackers on the kids' phones. The made the kids aware that they have it so slightly different than this. That being said, one of the parents uses it exclusively for tracking the kids when they are driving home from school (or if they are on a road trip, etc.) to make sure they are ok. The other parent makes up excuses and pretty much tracks their location whenever. Every time I hear the parent talk about how one of the kids hasn't left their room most of the weekend or that they must be at the bar it drives me absolutely nuts. To me that is a blatant abuse of power and invasion of privacy. The OP needs to set boundaries and protect her daughter and probably herself at some point because her husband will do the same to her.
A B C the Third 2 years ago
"he's trying to regain her trust" - "he'll install a tracking device in her car". Well, do I need to say more?
Zenozenobee 2 years ago (edited)
He doesn't want her trust to respect it or for the sake of a healthy relationship. He wants her to think he is trustworthy so that she tell him things he wants to know and listen to what he decides is good for her. It's only about manipulation and control. Plus, trust ins't about presents or materiel goods. I would feel insulted if someone did bad things to me and then try to buy my forgiveness with money.
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