If I was the "Wrong stall buddy" woman, I would have made a different choice here. Shop is ill equipped, guy is a parent with a baby. Ask him does he want me to perhaps stand by the door and let oncoming women know there's a dad changing a baby in there? It's about showing support person to person when it's a discriminatory or unfair/biased situation. Unisex toilets or changing tables in both: we aren't in the 1950s any more.

I wouldn't feel threatened if a man was changing a baby in the woman's washroom. I would completely understand and know it's wrong and so sexist that men's washrooms are still not equipped with change tables for fathers, or just not having family washrooms. At least it's starting to become the norm. But some places are holding on to out of date idealisms and refusing to update their facilities to make it fair for everyone.

Nta i'm a guy with a kid if there isnt another option i use the womans restroom what are they gonna do while holding a kid

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into the mens room when the woman’s was either locked for cleaning or, yeah, the line was too damn long and I was about to p**s myself. Every time, the men didn’t give a damn and no, not one tried to “do anything” to me. I would of told this man he was damn well in his right to change his baby’s diaper. Not to mention, so many other countries have unisex bathrooms and I think it needs to be implemented more in the west.

Your mom said that ? Wow ..what would she rather you do ..change your son in the middle of the store ..you're not in the wrong, if the woman was that bothered why didn't she just wait outside until you were done ?

About 6-7 years ago when my state (I live in the US) was getting ready to pass a "bathroom bill" that would have forced men who identified as women to use the men's room, and a woman who identified as a man to use the women's room. I'm a cis-woman and was shopping at a department store not too far from my home when nature called. I knew there were two restrooms, one women's and one men's both one-seaters, in the lingerie department and due to it's proximity to the lingerie, few men ever use that restroom. I walk to the area where the restrooms are located and there's a lady waiting for the women's room. I looked over and saw where the men's was available as evident by the green indicator which shows when the door is unlocked. I pointed to the door and said, "That's available." She looked at me as if I had committed a crime and responded, "That's the men's room." My response, "They don't store them in there. So, you're not going to use it?" She said no, so I did. People are nuts.

Next ask a staff member to either stand guard and warn women as they enter, or put up a 'closed for cleaning' sign. As you enter the restroom, yell out "Man coming in to change a baby." To alert women that A) a man is coming in, and B) that he is not sneeking in to be a creeper. Once the baby is changed, ask to speak to management, and ask for a changing table to be added to the mens restroom. Public bathrooms are high-risk locations. They are out of sight, contain lockable hiding places, and there is no CCTV. They are also places of vulnerability. There is a social contract that we will respect the privacy of other users, and a man coming in to the womens room violates that social contract. The guy is not an AH, but the women aren't necessary TAH either - though the second one was clearly overreacting. The a*****e is the business that isn't providing a family/shared bathroom, or equiping the mens for fathers.

That lady shouldn't exaggerate the situation by screaming like a banshee.. Didn't she see that he's with the baby? Sometime trying to understand the situation before throwing a big fit is helpful.

They expected him to just hand his baby off to some random woman!? What's her diaper changing qualifications besides having ovaries? For one thing not all women know how to change diapers, secondly it's not their duty to change the diapers of random babies, thirdly how is handing one's kid over to a random person even an option?

In like 100% of the ladies rooms I've been in... women have stalls to use. Men have stalls but the urinals aren't in any. Women can walk in and use the stalls in the men's room with guys openly at the urinals and guys are like "hey girl, ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" but a guy walking into a ladies room to change his baby's diaper? All hell breaks loose. Lady should have seen what was up, turned around and waited or, just walked into a stall. Or was she one of those who like to start s**t just because she can? 1000 Upvotes to our ladies who understand that Dad's do change diapers. (and a lot of other things for their kids and families too!) I raised 6 kids. Hell, I'd even go to the store and buy feminine products for my daughters.

Nobody is going to comment on what the mother said? How he should hand his baby over to a stranger to have them change the diaper? Op mentioned he thought it sounded entitled, but that part wasn't even in my radar. No one should ever have to be forced to hand their child over to a stranger in a department store. That's insane. I wouldn't even hand my dog over to a random stranger, much less a baby. The baby shouldn't have to leave his sight. I do almost wonder, though, if the attendant was calling him over just to help clear things up to the screaming woman. It's not clear to me that the attendant wouldn't have been on his side

This is why there needs to be baby changing stations in men's washrooms!

1000% NTA. Poor guy! If I'd been the lady washing her hands, I'd've asked if he wanted me to stick around incase someone else came in. And if someone came in like the second lady, I'd've set her straight. FFS - It's 2022 - and places can't get it through their heads that dads change diapers, too?

The only ladies that needed to be warned were those already in there. Not that I'm familiar with the ladies lavs, but I assume each cubicle has a door, so there should be no issue there (though from what I have seen on BP, in America, there might as well not be a door as the gaps above, below and either side offer no privacy). Once warned, anyone coming in will see him and can either wait a couple of minutes, or do what is necessary to maintain privacy, or god forbid, actually ****ing help!

"I was worried they might call the police... if they didn't accept my explanation." Why would they not accept his explanation? He had already asked for help finding a changing table. He had a baby in his arms. THE HYSTERICAL WOMAN SAW HIM AT THE CHANGING TABLE. Why run away? This seems like perhaps the real story stopped at the point that he hurried to finish before anyone else came in and he succeeded. The hysterical woman is a figment of his imagination trying to find a way to make the story vaguely interesting.

What... What are the women afraid of 🤔 I do not get this dilemma at all. Poor man just changing his Child. In our country it is also very normal to have toilets joined for men and women. This woman should get a warning not yelling at strangers especially when they have childten, or a baby with them.

I get that the woman who entered was surprised to see a bloke in the ladies facilities but her reaction is way over the top IMO. I want to call out society for not helping dad's do fathering tasks. I am a dad and SAHP. I have been thwarted by a lack of facilities to help me care for my children. I've had to use the boot (trunk for those in the US) of our estate car to change my daughter's nappy on occasion. It sucks. My big girl is now 4 and can use the toilet semi-independently. She also knows the different between her body and that of a male. I can't (and she doesn't want to) take her in to the male toilets. Some places have a parent and child bathroom (praise God for their foresight) most don't. Some have accessible toilets that aren't RADAR key locked, that's a win. What do I do in all the other places...? This dad did the right thing, he used the baby change facilities to change a baby's nappy (diaper). This should be full stop, the end but for where they were located. (1/2)

I actually don't think the screaming lady was necessarily an a-hole... Yes, it may have been a bit of an overreaction, but we don't know her story... she could have been an assault victim, or anything, and just felt unsafe with a man in the "female" space... the real issue is the discrimination by the store.

I loved it when they only had changing tables in the ladies' bathrooms. My chance to show we're not in the 1900's anymore and that dads are now hands on dads. Never had a problem, though.

Wait, OP's mother thought it was a better idea to hand the baby to an absolute stranger, ask her to change the diaper, and let her walk into another room with the child? Is she insane? OP was one hundred percent correct in what he did, the screaming lady needs to get a hold of herself, and OPs mother has scary bad judgement.

The screaming woman was the idiot; however it is the store's fault. Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them that you can't shop there if you can't take care of your son. Up the manager tree or their website.

I (male) was at the doctors office the other day and had to use the bathroom. Unfortunately the bathrooms are single occupancy and it was occupied...so I waited. I didn't have to wait long and when the person finished and came out it was a woman. I didn't say anything to her but I stewed for far too long afterwards because I know, without a doubt, that if it had been reversed and I had gone into the women's bathroom because I just couldn't wait I'd have been read the riot act.

I'm going to find the story because according to BP every one agrees with what he did.

Definitely NTA. If anything, it's highlighted the shops backwards thinking in only having a changing table in a female loo. Personally, I don't see why there are separate toilets/bathrooms anyway. I've used many a unisex loo and have never felt threatened.

Where I live in the UK the situation with the man in a women's toilets with their kid is fairly common and most people don't object (or are too polite to say anything). That said, in the UK we have full sized doors on our cubicles so you are not at risk of being seen changing a tampon for instance by the person at the changing table. I wouldn't like a man in the changing area in the US toilet for this reason but my reaction would have just been to wait outside until he was done and not scream or complain.

OMG why is it so hard to put up a ding dang changing table in the men’s bathroom??? Also, guess what? A lot of women’s bathrooms don’t have changing tables either. So for a couple hundred years (during the age of the diaper) what have people done?! They thought ahead and brought a travel changing pad and put it on the floor! Sometimes the baby minder heads to the store’s changing room. Sometimes they just head to an out-of-the-way aisle and sit on the floor… or find an empty low wide shelf… or just run out to the car! This is not hard! There’s no reason for dad to use the women’s restroom.

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You poor guy, just trying to care for your Bub. With all the 'woke' gender fluid ideology out there and insistence that biological women share their toilets and maternity wards with 'women' with beards, WHAT THE HELL was wrong with this?? Sickening double standards