Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
6.1K
Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mother’s Day Celebration He’d Planned
ADVERTISEMENT
Healthy boundaries are very important in romantic and family relationships if we want everyone to thrive. On the flip side, a lack of boundaries could lead to someone walking all over us and doing us harm (even if they don’t mean to). Now, setting these boundaries up means having some honest heart-to-heart communication when you see someone you love doing something that grates you. These conversations might be tough, but they’re absolutely vital.
Redditor u/FredWalker37 opened up about the intense situation that’s currently going on in his family. A father with a 13-year-old son, he turned to the AITA community for advice about what he should do after he confronted his new wife about how she spoke to his son, who is slightly more on the introverted side. It all culminated with the dad canceling the Mother’s Day celebration they’d all planned.
Scroll down for the full story in u/FredWalker37’s own words, and let us know in the comments what you think about what happened, dear Pandas. If you have any great insights or useful advice on how to proceed, we’re all ears.
RELATED:
A father with a slightly introverted son ended up taking a very firm stand after he overheard what his new wife told his boy
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
The dad opened up about everything in a very candid post on the AITA subreddit. Here is his story in full
ADVERTISEMENT
Image credits: Ibrahim Boran (not the actual photo)
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
The crux of the issue was that the author of the post’s wife and stepdaughter were pressuring his son to stay at home during the Mother’s Day celebration. The stepmom felt that his “socially inept attitude” would make her own family “uncomfortable and will ruin the mood.”
ADVERTISEMENT
After overhearing this, the dad asked the kids to let him speak to his wife alone. He took a firm stand and canceled the celebration. There was no changing his mind. However, his wife threw “tantrum after tantrum” and then went to stay at her folks’ place with her daughter. That’s where the situation leaves us. We can only hope that everything will turn out fine in the end for the redditor and his family.
Relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda earlier that it’s necessary to have boundaries in any relationship, romantic, familial, or otherwise. However, the closer someone is to you, the more flexible you should make those boundaries: strict boundaries are unsustainable in close relationships where there’s a need for compromise.
“Without them [boundaries], we live our lives at the expense of ourselves. The mindset for many when it comes to setting boundaries is that they feel selfish, or that they aren’t being a good partner when they implement them, so they avoid doing it altogether,” Alex told us during an earlier interview.
“This only causes resentment to build and overwhelm to set in both within the individual and the relationship as a whole. Boundaries are there for us to be able to take care of and to protect ourselves so that we can show up and operate within our lives as successfully as possible.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Meanwhile, very recently, Suzanne Degges-White, a Licensed Counselor, Professor, and Chair at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University, explained to us that introversion isn’t the same as antisocial behavior which, in turn, differs from antisocial personality disorder.
“During the pandemic, people who tend towards introversion were able to grow more comfortable in this identity and were able to disconnect from life’s requirements for ‘extroverting behaviors.’ While many extroverts had to spend more time alone, they didn’t necessarily grow more introverted, but found more ways to connect to others,” Suzanne told Bored Panda about how the pandemic affected people.
“In fact, research indicates that while the isolation offered ‘comfort’ to introverts and may have stressed out the more extroverted, it was actually the extroverts who ended up coping more effectively with the emotional distress of the pandemic. They stayed in contact with their typically larger social networks so they still were engaging socially even though it was done virtually,” the counselor told us.
“Introverts, though, while enjoying the ‘lifestyle of their dreams,’ suffered from isolation more acutely because they had smaller social circles to begin with and fewer opportunities to connect with others as well as less skill in doing so due to their introverted patterns,” she said.
ADVERTISEMENT
“Introverts have interest in connecting and engaging in social relationships whereas antisocial folks tend to just prefer to avoid people at all,” she explained the difference between introverts and antisocial people to us.
“Folks who prefer not to be around people are typically just ‘wired that way,’ and prefer the company of themselves, pets, or simply solitude. While these people are relatively rare in comparison to those who identify as introverts, the pandemic quarantines would have created no stressors whatsoever for those who would be labeled as antisocial,” the professor said.
“Some folks, for whatever reason, don’t want to invest the time or energy into forging a significant number of non-essential social relationships. They are truly okay being the ‘odd person out’ and prefer time alone than time to socialize. Introverts like to have friends, romantic relationships, happy collegial connections with folks on the job, etc. Antisocial folks, though, eschew relationships and engage only when circumstances require it,” she said.
A lot of redditor’s were horrified by what they read. Here’s how some of them reacted and the advice they gave the dad
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
Games
Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!
Follow Bored Panda on Google News!
Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!
Read more »
Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
Read less » Jonas Grinevičius
Writer, BoredPanda staff
Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
Read more »
Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.
Read less » Kotryna Br
Author, BoredPanda staff
Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.
Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Download Bored Panda app!
What do you think ?
June 2 years ago
If you think being an extrovert gives you the right to bully introverts for being introverts, then you are not an extrovert, you are an ASSTROVERT.
TonyTee 2 years ago (edited)
I'm an extrovert. Yet I'm mostly drawn to the introvert crowd, as from experience, they can be much more pleasant than extroverts; and they're more genuine. I myself was an introvert from around 12-18, I'm still amazed that now I'm an extrovert, it's like "how tf did that happen??" xD People are people nevertheless, I'm kind of puzzled as to how many labels there are now in regards to the human race when at the end of the day, we're all the same kind. We're skin flesh and bones. We're "people", and nothing else.
Load More Replies...
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
There is NO SUCH THING as an inteover crowd. get realu, we meet a freind sowemtimes for coffeer, Sometimes me meet two froend fora cup f coffee. Four is the absolute limit for socialising. Otherwise it erupts into small groups and unpleasant gossip. PS If anyone start unpleanast gossip around me I no longer consider them friends.
June 2 years ago
I've had a evil stepmom when I was 15 to 18. As soon as my dad was not around she was so nasty to me. Long story short, my grandma died and my dad and I were devastated. She demanded that my dad kick me out, so he did. It was the middle of the winter, graduation year, and I was homeless. My relationship with my father is permanently damaged. I am damaged. You don't recover from such things. Stand for your kids, people.
JillyMack 2 years ago
I'm so sorry you've been through that trauma. It's so awful. I hope you're doing ok now xx
Load More Replies...
Caro Caro 2 years ago
June, I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I would love to have a stepdaughter (or son) and I would probably spoil 'em rotten too. Hugs. Are you ok?
Whodathunkit 2 years ago
My ex husband's wife will not allow our five children (youngest two are in high school). He had nothing to say about it. Chose her over his children. Better believe it's had an effect on the kids.
CindyLouWho1209 2 years ago
June, I'm so sorry that your father put this woman above and over you. No one, especially a child deserves that kind of treatment ever. I'm glad to hear that you're okay, but the hurt is still there. God Bless you on your journey. ❤️🙏
Klara Lorinczi 2 years ago
That really sucks. I sincerely hope things get better for you. My dad remarried after my mom died but I was already grown up and out on my own. His wife discouraged us from visiting him. He was sad about it but too weak to stand up to her.
Nicole 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t even know what to say. I just can’t believe your father listened to her. What kind of man would do that? My stepfather did his thing to me & it was a little different. I ran away & lived in a car. Damaged & recovery are such harsh words & I understand them. I would never ever forgive my mother if she did what your dad did. She would be dead to me. I am so so sorry for what that SOB did to you.
June 2 years ago
@Dark Fafnir I'm glad you asked ! I never felt welcome, so I tried to give her as much space as possible (I didn't even spend half of my time at home, I was so scared I didn't show up until my dad call me). When she was cooking, she always added something she knew I hate so I couldn't eat anything and leave the table sooner. One day when I come back home dad tells me she complains about me not doing enough chores (I did most of the chores when I was home) so I started to do the chores as soon as I was back home, all of them, even if I didn't contribute to the mess (as in I was not home for 3 days). Complains didn't stop. I figured out she was telling him it was her doing the chores (it was not). On top of the basic bullying. Here is how I contributed to the situation ! Sooo maybe shut the f**k up?
Jessica Urquhart 2 years ago
Not in defence of dark Fafnir, but it is good to try to tell your story objectively, which you did in this comment. So, thank you. I had a similar situation, and can relate to your experience of doing most of the chores and being completely unappreciated. After a really rough patch, when my grandmother passed (I was almost 30), my former step mom and I reconnected at the funeral, and since then, we've come to understand one another. Turns out my dad was a deep source of our family troubles. Now I'm the step mom, trying not to make the same mistakes, but finding my role extremely challenging. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, my partner has 2 girls, and now we have 2 children together. All of our struggles revolve around his kids. In their defence, their mother is a major thorn in our side. Her influence over their kids makes a challenging situation much more difficult. It's extremely difficult to keep feelings of resentment at bay, to remain calm and objective.
Jessica Urquhart 2 years ago
It also incredibly difficult to feel compassion and empathy for children who at best only tolerate you and at worst, actively defy, are arrogant and snotty, nasty to their stepsister, and want to be treated like little princesses and waited on hand and foot, and have no compassion or understanding for the step parent. I think it would be easier if their mother wasn't in the picture, but that would also be damaging to the kids in its own way. Seriously though, step-parenting is hard work with no gratitude or reward for all the effort. But there is a big difference between being a human with emotional ups and downs, and downright manipulative and abusive. So sorry your father abandoned you and let a woman be his excuse. Pathetic.
Gabriel Gawrada 2 years ago
Not sure there could be anything more painful than what happened to you at such an important time in your development. Much love to you, not all men are pr*cks.
Vivian Villa 2 years ago
I am so sorry you had to go through this, I have stepdaughters myself and cant imagine ever throwing them into the street- positively disgusting behaviour on her part, your dad will suffer with regret for letting it happen
judi johnston 2 years ago
I am sorry you went through this. It is a tragedy and i pray you are restored. God is watching over you.
Susanne B 2 years ago (edited)
I would never take up a relationship with my father, if he had done that. Why should I want to have anything more to do with him, when he didn't bother to behave like a father?
Carrie Whitaker 1 year ago
He'll realize far too late that he burned his bridges, I sure as heck wouldn't have helped find care for me if he'd kicked me out. In that circumstance, if he asked I'd probably spit in his face and remind him of the lovely 'ending' of the relationship. Thankfully I didn't have that circumstance to worry about.
Shiro Weissman 2 years ago
You hear a lot of stories, I wonder if dads who do this ever have second thoughts or regret it? A stepmother might seem genuine to him but have a vicious character. Is there any love in these relationships? How do these relationships end like?
Carrie Whitaker 1 year ago
As mentioned in a previous comment, they'll regret it they turn to the child treated in such a manner, for aid in senior care.
Jacqueline Umeh 2 years ago
I'm really sorry that you went through this. I hope you find much happiness and peace.
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 2 years ago
My father got engaged less than a year after his second wife died. The woman was supposed to be his grief counselor. I tried to be nice but she was horrid. He didn't believe me. I was civil during the marriage. Once they split we found out she had put him into debt over 50000$. She came to the house and tried to go through his stuff. She demanded a cheap washer and dryer he bought to replace the one's she took. Must have sold them.
Mirjam Eikelboom 1 year ago
In my country (Netherlands) a professional therapist starting a relationship with a client counts as professional misconduct. Steps to take would be: 1. Is she registered somewhere / does she belong to a professional body. 2. What is written in their code of conduct re. this behaviour & then 3. Sue her butt off
Kristina Cowan 1 year ago (edited)
I am so sorry that happened... I understand how much that hurts, having a parent turn against you for someone else. It's their loss because you are a wonderful person.
Deborah 2 years ago
Yep. Stand up for the little... dears. You will regret it if you don't... No. I'm guessing. I have found out several things that happened that would have brought me to school, but my children never told me they happened! They were afraid I'd come to school and scare the other student, his parents, teacher, principal... whoever. Most importantly.... When you get old.... they are all you've got... don't screw the pooch!
Diego Olariaga 1 year ago
I am so sorry for what you went through. That must have been extremely difficult.
Dorian 1 year ago
Sorry to hear that. And it definitely happens just as u described, I've seen it and it's brutal. Right now if he's smart, he'll get out of this fake azz marriage, especially if he wants to have his son in his life later. This scenario is not something simple, like he didn't clean his room so hes grounded. What she's doing is playing adult mind fck games, on his son when dad's at work. She's being passive aggressive, and running circles around that poor kid. She's been doing it so well that he doesn't even realize he should tell his father. Her n daughter been tag teaming the shite outta that boy whenever they want. He lost his mother, a piece of his heart is gone forever, the fact that she don't give fck Abt that is serious red flag. She's not trying to bond, connect, be a solid support system for him, have his back, get to know em, nothing. Dad better run right now. She's rotted inside and pretending on outside.
Dark Fafnir 2 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Really shouldn't tell one sided stories that way cause it really makes people wonder how you contributed to the situation
CLG 2 years ago
You know what truly does NOT help an introvert come out of his shell -- being singled out for his introverted and socially inept attitude.
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Introverts do NOT need to be "helped" to "come out of their shell". We're introverts, we are not extroverts, there is nothing wrong with us. Extroverts love being around other people, and that's fine. But for goodness sake, stop forcing introverts to act like extroverts. Extroverts, remember how miserable you all felt during quarantine when you couldn't go out and be around other people? That's a bit like how an introvert feels when you force them to act like an extrovert. Don't do it.
Load More Replies...
Khaos Childe 2 years ago (edited)
Right? It's horrible. My entire family, and I mean ENTIRE(dozens of 'em), are extroverted. NONE of them understand difficult or annoying social interaction is or can be for me. Especially when I was younger and I'd be pushed to just 'try it', or 'give it a go' to 'get out of my shell'. Yh. Now I'm more socially awkward than I probably would have been if they didn't push me since now I feel I HAVE to at least TRY (whatever that means) any time I'm around a bunch of strangers. Kinda like the pick me kinda attitude. When I'm finally alone again, I always feel like kicking myself in the a*s.
Nicole 2 years ago (edited)
Okay I’m trying to see something positive about what you said. Yes we introverts like a cool, calm environment. I certainly agree about us being helped. No way does an introvert need help but no way have I ever met an introvert feel what you described. The dictionary says a shy, reticent person. Sure introverts would prefer staying home from a party but that definitely doesn’t mean they won’t go and most definitely not freak out. I really don’t understand how you see quarantine being like an introvert. Quarantine drive people crazy and introverts are definitely not crazy.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
I like quarantine, but I'm open to the possibility of being crazy. I own a computer and a phone. I'll find a way to socialize if I really want to.
Joseph Matthews 2 years ago (edited)
This very article talks about how quarantine was particularly harmful to introverts if you read the whole thing. I'm a former "introvert" who used to buy into those ridiculous labels. Some people charge their battery being around others and some do it alone is the only real difference. At the end of the day we are all people who crave and even require social networks and safety nets to survive. Additionally even if it is exhausting -being around other people builds our social skills that require practice to develop and are incredibly useful for improving the quality of your life.
L1z 2 years ago
As an introvert, I love using the pandemic as a reason to stay home and enjoy my life. I've been social distancing my whole life and now society is commending us for it! I would love if we could stay this way forever just without any kind of illness keeping us distanced. I don't care much for social rules and norms either. I do my own thing and I'm happier for it than I've ever been, especially when I was trying to fit a social mold. F that shirt lol
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
I did though, unfortunately, get verbal abuse from one or two care staff working at care homes that I’ve lived in. Only lived in two of them in my local area, but it was enough. When you’ve been verbally abused and harassed, and used as someone’s little project, for when the bully gets a bit bored, it really absolutely knocks your confidence to hell. Then you have to build all of your self-confidence up again. Right from scratch. Not meaning to sound depressing. Just explaining what I’ve gone through in life. Plus I have autism, and agoraphobia. I notice that the everyday public don’t give a c**p about people with learning disabilities. They don’t care if they insult them. Especially the younger generations. I always dread having to walk past gangs in town. I also dread having to walk past teenagers, or drug addicts, knowing that they might try and insult me or try to humiliate me. That causes more mental suffering, so no wonder my agoraphobia is not getting any better.
Dirt is Dast. 1 year ago
That was one persons experience. You & the other people who like your comment are... Im sure more introverts thrived during the pandemic than not. I got so much accomplished & learned so much, professionally & personally.
Skorm Carter 2 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
You are an idiot. Zilla nailed it you dumb prick. That bit about introverts hating the pandemic is completely and total BS. So so shut your stupid a*s up you "Ex InTrOvErT" ,,!,, ^_^ ,,!,,
Hakitosama 2 years ago
This 👆and stop saying we are "shy" we're not! Shy is : "HO MY GOD PEOPLE 😱" introvert is :"ho my god people 🙄"
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
You are spot on. Us introverts don’t need help to come out of our shell. We were born as introverts, and we’ll go to our graves as introverts. It’s like someone saying we’ll try and change gay people into straight people. It’s simple, you can’t. It’s not possible. Let’s drop this stupid notion that introverts might “not have any friends”, or that introverts are “boring”. So what if I don’t want to sing infront of the extroverts? I’m not a product to be sold. I’m being my honest self at least. Introverts don’t show off, or seek validation from everyone. We also don’t like too much attention or fuss made about us. We are who we are. We weren’t made to be extroverted. Enough said. I’ve had one or two social workers in the past, who have complained misunderstood my introverted behaviour. “You must feel lonely at times”-I don’t. I keep myself to myself. Am I not allowed a life of my own? “You need to go into the communal room and make more friends!”-Says who? I don’t exactly want MORE.
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
Just adding to my last reply, as I didn’t have enough space to finish what I was saying. I don’t mind welcoming new people, it’s just that I shouldn’t be expected, ever, to have each and every one of them as close friends. I’m quite concerned about a few extroverts who live in the same building as me. The kind of concerns that put me off having everyday conversations with them. It’s not okay to try to force an introvert to be friends with unsavoury people. Even if they live in the same community/communal building. Especially not when one of them is a known paedophile. 😖👎
Jeroen Romer 1 year ago
Depends. If the introversion is such that it prevents someone from bare minimum functioning in society, behavioral therapy is warranted.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
There is nothing socially inept about wanting to be left alone and more people should respect that. I'm more of an ambivert, but I'd rather live on a mountain alone than with a bunch of self centered, smug 'extroverts'.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
It's pretty much saying you fall in the middle of the two. Not too extreme on either trait.
Bunny 2 years ago
Just because someone is an extrovert, does not make them smug nor self-centered. You sound bitter.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
I mean...if you think you fall into that category. #notallextroverts for disclaimer. But yeah, I'm a little bitter at a world that caters to one half of the demographic while expecting the rest of us to wear a mask.
Alli Vally 2 years ago (edited)
Introversion is the way half of the world's population approaches life. There is nothing pathological about it and it does not mean introverts are socially inept. It doesn't need to be fixed and there's no shell that needs to be escaped. Introverts are self-oriented whereas extroverts are other focused. Both approaches have their pros and cons and neither is better than the other. There are also gradations of introversion/extroversion. Most people are not one extreme in either direction and society benefits from both types in different ways. The problem arises in very extroverted societies like the US, when extroverts want to "fix" introverts. Introversion is not a choice and it isn't a malady. It's a normal disposition and it can't be fixed anymore than you can fix a left-handed person into being right-handed.
Nicole Krenzler 2 years ago
While it's not unique to the US, americans can offen be black and white thinkers - you are part of the group or not. If you aren't you are pressured to conform, or shunned.
Margaret Weaver 2 years ago
That "shell" you think you see isn't a bubble around me. It's the haze of your ego, radiating out of you. Stop making your presumption out to be the norm, and leave us introverts alone. We've done nothing to warrant this toxic gaslighting.
P.C. 1 year ago
I really had an anxiety attack shortly after being introduced to the world after the lockdown. I hardly left my house for a whole year because my mom took care of groceries and errands by herself. Then, all of a sudden, I have to direct these kids who’re my age or older into a theater like a leader!? I… the lockdown wrecked me. Maybe for adults it wasn’t so bad because they could choose to leave, but I hardly had any friends before lockdown and didn’t talk to anyone except family- then, I see all these faces and they’re looking at me and why are they looking at me I’m not beautiful is it because I’m ugly does it look like I’m scowling this is just my resting face my neutral expression!!! Glad some of you enjoyed the pandemic though…
P.C. 1 year ago (edited)
Introvert speaking (dunno why that matters, ig so you know I experienced it first-hand?): the pandemic made my social skills drop down MAJORLY, and I was in an important time in my life for learning life-skills. I personally prefer to have an extroverted friend who enjoys talking to me (I have one or two) because introverts don’t approach introverts unless it’s bc of common interest or grouping from adults. I enjoy having someone with a loud voice hear my quiet ideas tho :3 it was off putting to be asked “why are you quiet?” After the lockdown, but now that it’s in the past I have no excuse to keep to myself except I’m being myself!! Something that got me out of my shell: everyone making fools of themselves so I don’t feel ashamed acting similarly :>
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
Sorry. Introverts are NOT inept, and we do NOT need to come 'out of our shells", For meself i can say: I hasve a very acure hearingf the the lonhd confudions of vopices and backgroune music cause me extreme steress, I have veryvery acute sense of smell, and smells in crowds are overwhelming;ly unpleasant I am NOT interested in petty or spiteful gossip and prefer gentle quietly spoken conversations about things that interest me. Which does NOT include celebrities, politics or films and pop music. I have no interest whatsoever in fashions.
June 2 years ago
If you think being an extrovert gives you the right to bully introverts for being introverts, then you are not an extrovert, you are an ASSTROVERT.
TonyTee 2 years ago (edited)
I'm an extrovert. Yet I'm mostly drawn to the introvert crowd, as from experience, they can be much more pleasant than extroverts; and they're more genuine. I myself was an introvert from around 12-18, I'm still amazed that now I'm an extrovert, it's like "how tf did that happen??" xD People are people nevertheless, I'm kind of puzzled as to how many labels there are now in regards to the human race when at the end of the day, we're all the same kind. We're skin flesh and bones. We're "people", and nothing else.
Load More Replies... Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
There is NO SUCH THING as an inteover crowd. get realu, we meet a freind sowemtimes for coffeer, Sometimes me meet two froend fora cup f coffee. Four is the absolute limit for socialising. Otherwise it erupts into small groups and unpleasant gossip. PS If anyone start unpleanast gossip around me I no longer consider them friends.
June 2 years ago
I've had a evil stepmom when I was 15 to 18. As soon as my dad was not around she was so nasty to me. Long story short, my grandma died and my dad and I were devastated. She demanded that my dad kick me out, so he did. It was the middle of the winter, graduation year, and I was homeless. My relationship with my father is permanently damaged. I am damaged. You don't recover from such things. Stand for your kids, people.
JillyMack 2 years ago
I'm so sorry you've been through that trauma. It's so awful. I hope you're doing ok now xx
Load More Replies... Caro Caro 2 years ago
June, I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. I would love to have a stepdaughter (or son) and I would probably spoil 'em rotten too. Hugs. Are you ok?
Whodathunkit 2 years ago
My ex husband's wife will not allow our five children (youngest two are in high school). He had nothing to say about it. Chose her over his children. Better believe it's had an effect on the kids.
CindyLouWho1209 2 years ago
June, I'm so sorry that your father put this woman above and over you. No one, especially a child deserves that kind of treatment ever. I'm glad to hear that you're okay, but the hurt is still there. God Bless you on your journey. ❤️🙏
Klara Lorinczi 2 years ago
That really sucks. I sincerely hope things get better for you. My dad remarried after my mom died but I was already grown up and out on my own. His wife discouraged us from visiting him. He was sad about it but too weak to stand up to her.
Nicole 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t even know what to say. I just can’t believe your father listened to her. What kind of man would do that? My stepfather did his thing to me & it was a little different. I ran away & lived in a car. Damaged & recovery are such harsh words & I understand them. I would never ever forgive my mother if she did what your dad did. She would be dead to me. I am so so sorry for what that SOB did to you.
June 2 years ago
@Dark Fafnir I'm glad you asked ! I never felt welcome, so I tried to give her as much space as possible (I didn't even spend half of my time at home, I was so scared I didn't show up until my dad call me). When she was cooking, she always added something she knew I hate so I couldn't eat anything and leave the table sooner. One day when I come back home dad tells me she complains about me not doing enough chores (I did most of the chores when I was home) so I started to do the chores as soon as I was back home, all of them, even if I didn't contribute to the mess (as in I was not home for 3 days). Complains didn't stop. I figured out she was telling him it was her doing the chores (it was not). On top of the basic bullying. Here is how I contributed to the situation ! Sooo maybe shut the f**k up?
Jessica Urquhart 2 years ago
Not in defence of dark Fafnir, but it is good to try to tell your story objectively, which you did in this comment. So, thank you. I had a similar situation, and can relate to your experience of doing most of the chores and being completely unappreciated. After a really rough patch, when my grandmother passed (I was almost 30), my former step mom and I reconnected at the funeral, and since then, we've come to understand one another. Turns out my dad was a deep source of our family troubles. Now I'm the step mom, trying not to make the same mistakes, but finding my role extremely challenging. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, my partner has 2 girls, and now we have 2 children together. All of our struggles revolve around his kids. In their defence, their mother is a major thorn in our side. Her influence over their kids makes a challenging situation much more difficult. It's extremely difficult to keep feelings of resentment at bay, to remain calm and objective.
Jessica Urquhart 2 years ago
It also incredibly difficult to feel compassion and empathy for children who at best only tolerate you and at worst, actively defy, are arrogant and snotty, nasty to their stepsister, and want to be treated like little princesses and waited on hand and foot, and have no compassion or understanding for the step parent. I think it would be easier if their mother wasn't in the picture, but that would also be damaging to the kids in its own way. Seriously though, step-parenting is hard work with no gratitude or reward for all the effort. But there is a big difference between being a human with emotional ups and downs, and downright manipulative and abusive. So sorry your father abandoned you and let a woman be his excuse. Pathetic.
Gabriel Gawrada 2 years ago
Not sure there could be anything more painful than what happened to you at such an important time in your development. Much love to you, not all men are pr*cks.
Vivian Villa 2 years ago
I am so sorry you had to go through this, I have stepdaughters myself and cant imagine ever throwing them into the street- positively disgusting behaviour on her part, your dad will suffer with regret for letting it happen
judi johnston 2 years ago
I am sorry you went through this. It is a tragedy and i pray you are restored. God is watching over you.
Susanne B 2 years ago (edited)
I would never take up a relationship with my father, if he had done that. Why should I want to have anything more to do with him, when he didn't bother to behave like a father?
Carrie Whitaker 1 year ago
He'll realize far too late that he burned his bridges, I sure as heck wouldn't have helped find care for me if he'd kicked me out. In that circumstance, if he asked I'd probably spit in his face and remind him of the lovely 'ending' of the relationship. Thankfully I didn't have that circumstance to worry about.
Shiro Weissman 2 years ago
You hear a lot of stories, I wonder if dads who do this ever have second thoughts or regret it? A stepmother might seem genuine to him but have a vicious character. Is there any love in these relationships? How do these relationships end like?
Carrie Whitaker 1 year ago
As mentioned in a previous comment, they'll regret it they turn to the child treated in such a manner, for aid in senior care.
Jacqueline Umeh 2 years ago
I'm really sorry that you went through this. I hope you find much happiness and peace.
alloutbikes@yahoo.com 2 years ago
My father got engaged less than a year after his second wife died. The woman was supposed to be his grief counselor. I tried to be nice but she was horrid. He didn't believe me. I was civil during the marriage. Once they split we found out she had put him into debt over 50000$. She came to the house and tried to go through his stuff. She demanded a cheap washer and dryer he bought to replace the one's she took. Must have sold them.
Mirjam Eikelboom 1 year ago
In my country (Netherlands) a professional therapist starting a relationship with a client counts as professional misconduct. Steps to take would be: 1. Is she registered somewhere / does she belong to a professional body. 2. What is written in their code of conduct re. this behaviour & then 3. Sue her butt off
Kristina Cowan 1 year ago (edited)
I am so sorry that happened... I understand how much that hurts, having a parent turn against you for someone else. It's their loss because you are a wonderful person.
Deborah 2 years ago
Yep. Stand up for the little... dears. You will regret it if you don't... No. I'm guessing. I have found out several things that happened that would have brought me to school, but my children never told me they happened! They were afraid I'd come to school and scare the other student, his parents, teacher, principal... whoever. Most importantly.... When you get old.... they are all you've got... don't screw the pooch!
Diego Olariaga 1 year ago
I am so sorry for what you went through. That must have been extremely difficult.
Dorian 1 year ago
Sorry to hear that. And it definitely happens just as u described, I've seen it and it's brutal. Right now if he's smart, he'll get out of this fake azz marriage, especially if he wants to have his son in his life later. This scenario is not something simple, like he didn't clean his room so hes grounded. What she's doing is playing adult mind fck games, on his son when dad's at work. She's being passive aggressive, and running circles around that poor kid. She's been doing it so well that he doesn't even realize he should tell his father. Her n daughter been tag teaming the shite outta that boy whenever they want. He lost his mother, a piece of his heart is gone forever, the fact that she don't give fck Abt that is serious red flag. She's not trying to bond, connect, be a solid support system for him, have his back, get to know em, nothing. Dad better run right now. She's rotted inside and pretending on outside.
Dark Fafnir 2 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Really shouldn't tell one sided stories that way cause it really makes people wonder how you contributed to the situation
CLG 2 years ago
You know what truly does NOT help an introvert come out of his shell -- being singled out for his introverted and socially inept attitude.
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Introverts do NOT need to be "helped" to "come out of their shell". We're introverts, we are not extroverts, there is nothing wrong with us. Extroverts love being around other people, and that's fine. But for goodness sake, stop forcing introverts to act like extroverts. Extroverts, remember how miserable you all felt during quarantine when you couldn't go out and be around other people? That's a bit like how an introvert feels when you force them to act like an extrovert. Don't do it.
Load More Replies... Khaos Childe 2 years ago (edited)
Right? It's horrible. My entire family, and I mean ENTIRE(dozens of 'em), are extroverted. NONE of them understand difficult or annoying social interaction is or can be for me. Especially when I was younger and I'd be pushed to just 'try it', or 'give it a go' to 'get out of my shell'. Yh. Now I'm more socially awkward than I probably would have been if they didn't push me since now I feel I HAVE to at least TRY (whatever that means) any time I'm around a bunch of strangers. Kinda like the pick me kinda attitude. When I'm finally alone again, I always feel like kicking myself in the a*s.
Nicole 2 years ago (edited)
Okay I’m trying to see something positive about what you said. Yes we introverts like a cool, calm environment. I certainly agree about us being helped. No way does an introvert need help but no way have I ever met an introvert feel what you described. The dictionary says a shy, reticent person. Sure introverts would prefer staying home from a party but that definitely doesn’t mean they won’t go and most definitely not freak out. I really don’t understand how you see quarantine being like an introvert. Quarantine drive people crazy and introverts are definitely not crazy.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
I like quarantine, but I'm open to the possibility of being crazy. I own a computer and a phone. I'll find a way to socialize if I really want to.
Joseph Matthews 2 years ago (edited)
This very article talks about how quarantine was particularly harmful to introverts if you read the whole thing. I'm a former "introvert" who used to buy into those ridiculous labels. Some people charge their battery being around others and some do it alone is the only real difference. At the end of the day we are all people who crave and even require social networks and safety nets to survive. Additionally even if it is exhausting -being around other people builds our social skills that require practice to develop and are incredibly useful for improving the quality of your life.
L1z 2 years ago
As an introvert, I love using the pandemic as a reason to stay home and enjoy my life. I've been social distancing my whole life and now society is commending us for it! I would love if we could stay this way forever just without any kind of illness keeping us distanced. I don't care much for social rules and norms either. I do my own thing and I'm happier for it than I've ever been, especially when I was trying to fit a social mold. F that shirt lol
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
I did though, unfortunately, get verbal abuse from one or two care staff working at care homes that I’ve lived in. Only lived in two of them in my local area, but it was enough. When you’ve been verbally abused and harassed, and used as someone’s little project, for when the bully gets a bit bored, it really absolutely knocks your confidence to hell. Then you have to build all of your self-confidence up again. Right from scratch. Not meaning to sound depressing. Just explaining what I’ve gone through in life. Plus I have autism, and agoraphobia. I notice that the everyday public don’t give a c**p about people with learning disabilities. They don’t care if they insult them. Especially the younger generations. I always dread having to walk past gangs in town. I also dread having to walk past teenagers, or drug addicts, knowing that they might try and insult me or try to humiliate me. That causes more mental suffering, so no wonder my agoraphobia is not getting any better.
Dirt is Dast. 1 year ago
That was one persons experience. You & the other people who like your comment are... Im sure more introverts thrived during the pandemic than not. I got so much accomplished & learned so much, professionally & personally.
Skorm Carter 2 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
You are an idiot. Zilla nailed it you dumb prick. That bit about introverts hating the pandemic is completely and total BS. So so shut your stupid a*s up you "Ex InTrOvErT" ,,!,, ^_^ ,,!,,
Hakitosama 2 years ago
This 👆and stop saying we are "shy" we're not! Shy is : "HO MY GOD PEOPLE 😱" introvert is :"ho my god people 🙄"
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
You are spot on. Us introverts don’t need help to come out of our shell. We were born as introverts, and we’ll go to our graves as introverts. It’s like someone saying we’ll try and change gay people into straight people. It’s simple, you can’t. It’s not possible. Let’s drop this stupid notion that introverts might “not have any friends”, or that introverts are “boring”. So what if I don’t want to sing infront of the extroverts? I’m not a product to be sold. I’m being my honest self at least. Introverts don’t show off, or seek validation from everyone. We also don’t like too much attention or fuss made about us. We are who we are. We weren’t made to be extroverted. Enough said. I’ve had one or two social workers in the past, who have complained misunderstood my introverted behaviour. “You must feel lonely at times”-I don’t. I keep myself to myself. Am I not allowed a life of my own? “You need to go into the communal room and make more friends!”-Says who? I don’t exactly want MORE.
Sarah Jane 2 years ago
Just adding to my last reply, as I didn’t have enough space to finish what I was saying. I don’t mind welcoming new people, it’s just that I shouldn’t be expected, ever, to have each and every one of them as close friends. I’m quite concerned about a few extroverts who live in the same building as me. The kind of concerns that put me off having everyday conversations with them. It’s not okay to try to force an introvert to be friends with unsavoury people. Even if they live in the same community/communal building. Especially not when one of them is a known paedophile. 😖👎
Jeroen Romer 1 year ago
Depends. If the introversion is such that it prevents someone from bare minimum functioning in society, behavioral therapy is warranted.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
There is nothing socially inept about wanting to be left alone and more people should respect that. I'm more of an ambivert, but I'd rather live on a mountain alone than with a bunch of self centered, smug 'extroverts'.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
It's pretty much saying you fall in the middle of the two. Not too extreme on either trait.
Bunny 2 years ago
Just because someone is an extrovert, does not make them smug nor self-centered. You sound bitter.
nefarious sagittarius 2 years ago
I mean...if you think you fall into that category. #notallextroverts for disclaimer. But yeah, I'm a little bitter at a world that caters to one half of the demographic while expecting the rest of us to wear a mask.
Alli Vally 2 years ago (edited)
Introversion is the way half of the world's population approaches life. There is nothing pathological about it and it does not mean introverts are socially inept. It doesn't need to be fixed and there's no shell that needs to be escaped. Introverts are self-oriented whereas extroverts are other focused. Both approaches have their pros and cons and neither is better than the other. There are also gradations of introversion/extroversion. Most people are not one extreme in either direction and society benefits from both types in different ways. The problem arises in very extroverted societies like the US, when extroverts want to "fix" introverts. Introversion is not a choice and it isn't a malady. It's a normal disposition and it can't be fixed anymore than you can fix a left-handed person into being right-handed.
Nicole Krenzler 2 years ago
While it's not unique to the US, americans can offen be black and white thinkers - you are part of the group or not. If you aren't you are pressured to conform, or shunned.
Margaret Weaver 2 years ago
That "shell" you think you see isn't a bubble around me. It's the haze of your ego, radiating out of you. Stop making your presumption out to be the norm, and leave us introverts alone. We've done nothing to warrant this toxic gaslighting.
P.C. 1 year ago
I really had an anxiety attack shortly after being introduced to the world after the lockdown. I hardly left my house for a whole year because my mom took care of groceries and errands by herself. Then, all of a sudden, I have to direct these kids who’re my age or older into a theater like a leader!? I… the lockdown wrecked me. Maybe for adults it wasn’t so bad because they could choose to leave, but I hardly had any friends before lockdown and didn’t talk to anyone except family- then, I see all these faces and they’re looking at me and why are they looking at me I’m not beautiful is it because I’m ugly does it look like I’m scowling this is just my resting face my neutral expression!!! Glad some of you enjoyed the pandemic though…
P.C. 1 year ago (edited)
Introvert speaking (dunno why that matters, ig so you know I experienced it first-hand?): the pandemic made my social skills drop down MAJORLY, and I was in an important time in my life for learning life-skills. I personally prefer to have an extroverted friend who enjoys talking to me (I have one or two) because introverts don’t approach introverts unless it’s bc of common interest or grouping from adults. I enjoy having someone with a loud voice hear my quiet ideas tho :3 it was off putting to be asked “why are you quiet?” After the lockdown, but now that it’s in the past I have no excuse to keep to myself except I’m being myself!! Something that got me out of my shell: everyone making fools of themselves so I don’t feel ashamed acting similarly :>
Evelyn Haskins 1 year ago
Sorry. Introverts are NOT inept, and we do NOT need to come 'out of our shells", For meself i can say: I hasve a very acure hearingf the the lonhd confudions of vopices and backgroune music cause me extreme steress, I have veryvery acute sense of smell, and smells in crowds are overwhelming;ly unpleasant I am NOT interested in petty or spiteful gossip and prefer gentle quietly spoken conversations about things that interest me. Which does NOT include celebrities, politics or films and pop music. I have no interest whatsoever in fashions.
You May Like Husband Becomes Violent After Learning Wife Won't Contribute To His Son's College Fund Guy Finally Realizes His Dad Wasn’t This “Great Family Sacrificer” Like He Thought, Goes Viral Dad Claims He’s “More Of A Mom” Than His Wife, The Internet Gives Him A Reality Check
Monika Pašukonytė
Justinas Keturka
Gabija Palšytė
Related on Bored Panda
353
418