Family Drama Ensues After Teen Points Out That Their Mom Doesn’t Have Custody Of Them During Dinner
Growing up without parents is extremely difficult. It affects a person’s whole life, mental health, connections with other people and values. Thus having somebody who takes care of them, makes them feel loved and safe is one of the most important aspects in life.
Also, probably most of us can agree that we are always ready to defend people that are important to us from anybody who says any bad word. This Reddit user is no exception – during Thanksgiving dinner, his aunt shared some comments towards his sister about her not being their mom, who, in fact, lost custody of them years ago and his sister was the one who did everything to protect them.
More info: Reddit
A brother can’t listen to his aunt’s comments towards his sister, highlighting that their mom lost custody years ago and his sister has been doing her job
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
The teen shares that they were removed from their mom’s custody 7 years ago and their older sister did everything to keep them out of the system
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
During Thanksgiving dinner, the sister asked for her brothers’ help and their aunt had a problem with it, saying that she’s not their mom and shouldn’t boss them around
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
However, the brother quickly came through and reminded everyone that their mom lost custody of them and his sister was the one who was taking care of them
Image credits: MushroomPristine7174
He shares that dinner was ruined, everyone started arguing and his sister told him that it was not his place to defend her
A few days ago, a Reddit user took his story to one of its communities asking folks online if he was being a jerk for mentioning that his mom no longer has custody of him and his brother in the middle of the Thanksgiving dinner as a response to his aunt’s comment towards his sister. The post got a lot of attention and received more than 10.2K upvotes and 1.1K comments.
The original poster (OP) shares that he is 17 years old and together with his 9-year-old brother, they live with their oldest sister. He adds that he and his little brother were removed from their mom 7 years ago and their sister did everything so she could keep her brothers out of the system. He also adds that she has guardianship now and the adoption process is going through.
The whole incident took place during family dinner. OP’s sister asked for his and his brother’s help while preparing dinner, with which their aunt had a problem. She said that she shouldn’t boss them around as they are not her kids. Right after this, the author responded by reminding her that they are not their mom’s kids and his sister has been doing her job all this time.
Obviously, the whole dinner turned into a fight, while the sister emphasized that it was not his place to defend her, and most of the family members accused OP of ruining the dinner. However, the author adds that it wasn’t his intention and if it was really out of line, he will apologize.
The community members decided that the author was not being a jerk in this situation. They discussed that OP’s extended family are terrible people and the sister was probably just hoping that her brothers would feel a sense of family attachment while having dinner together. “I think Eva was probably really proud of you sticking up for her but doesn’t want you to feel like you have to… Which means she’s truly looking out for you,” one user shared.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Sometimes it may seem that having somebody who takes care of a child, such as a sister or brother is enough; however, most of the time it leaves visible psychological effects on a kid who has been growing up without a mother. According to Learning Mind, growing up without the emotional support of a mother might make it difficult for a youngster to grasp their feelings.
When you engage in an intimate relationship, you may discover that you are unable to communicate effectively, appreciate your partner, or demonstrate healthy intimate behaviors. Also, it may cause commitment issues. Because you are terrified of losing your loved one, you are less likely to participate in genuine long-term partnerships.
Also, growing up with siblings may seem to be more fun than growing up without any, but according to the American Psychology Association, it also has positive outcomes. Firstly, siblings are important teachers from an early age. They serve as role models for how to behave at home and in the world.
Siblings frequently have a greater understanding of what you’re going through with peers or with aspects of your life that parents don’t have access to or don’t observe in the same way. One of the aspects that makes sibling relationships so beneficial to child development is their shared perspective.
Peer acceptance and social competence, academic engagement, educational performance, and personal relationships in adolescence and early adulthood have been associated with the warmth and support of siblings during childhood. Additionally, healthy sibling relationships can act as a protective barrier against the damaging impacts of stressful life experiences like bullying or animosity from parents.
So while having a loving sibling is literally a blessing, growing up without parents may leave visible scars on every person’s life. But what do you think about this story? Was the author overstepping and it was not his place to defend his sister? Or was he in the right in this situation?
Redditors supported the author and shared all the love for his sister
"she (aunt) doesn't make her sons help with things like that" - great. The aunt is raising her sons to consider normal daily chores to be "women's work." To their future wives - bless you and good luck.
If they can even find a wife if they’re behaving the way the aunt is teaching them. I hope those boys do better than what they’re mom is teaching them
Load More Replies...I love that OP defended his sister. Taking on your siblings is a monumental job, especially when you haven't had real parents taking care of you in the first place. Sounds like it's time to cut the rest of that toxic family loose.
Auntie is defensive because someone else is parenting better than her. So she goes passive-aggressive attack mode. It's on her. She's a mess!
Or because she believes that men shouldn’t help in the kitchen and only women should cook, so asking your sons or brothers to help out in the kitchen is wrong.
Load More Replies...I wished he'd said nothing at that moment. But as soon as everyone was sitting at the table he should have bend his head, folded his hands and started praying loudly: dear God, I thank you with all of my heart for my sister, she's a real gem. The best sister I could wish for. And I thank her for doing everything for me and my brother so we could stay together as a true family when no one else was willing to step up and take us in although she herself had to go into foster care. I love her so much and will always help her like she helped me. Thank you God and thank you dear sister. Amen. And then lean back and see the chaos unfold. Hey, it's Thanksgiving isn't it? Time to say what you are grateful for.
We all wish we could have said the perfect thing, but kudos to this young man for not allowing his sister to be bullied by this useless aunt. Where was she when you boys needed help?
Load More Replies...She's sad just because her family sucks. Buckets. You've shown her you've got her back (even if she says "you don't have to defend me), and she's over and over shown you that she's got your back; all in all good news, time to lose the useless family and choose some new ones.
He defended and protected his sister, who honestly sounds like a saint. Keep protecting her my dude, you will be ok.
F**k those garbage people, cut them out of your life and never look back. Life is too short to keep toxic people around.
NTA. This is my mother's side of the family to a 'T'. When our mother died and our father couldn't take care of us, those vultures took ALL of our possessions. Yet NONE of them stepped up to take us in, resulting in being trapped for nine years in an abusive foster care system. Little wonder that we had as little to do with them as possible. OP was not out of line; that harpy aunt needed to be told off. I hope that there was extremely limited contact after that.
I hope you and your siblings are okay now. No child should ever have to go through that.
Load More Replies...This is so wrong in so many ways. First you are definitely not the AH. You should get commendation for standing up yo your sister who took it upon herself to take her family with her. That aunt is a monster to even say such things. Your sister is showing how to be respectful and help with food preps. This person should get off her fat a*s and help. But it goes to show that they never took in your sister in her most hour of need. Stay tight together you 3 and God speed ⚔️
Aunt probably doesn't like that Eva is a better mother than she is and is jealous
The ruder thing to say would have been: 'If you do not like how my sister raises us, you should have done it yourself.' Anyway, I think OP is much better off with his sister, as well as being raised properly, since he said what he did in a quite decent way. Sometimes the truth just hurts and if you are asking for it...
You're wrong about only one thing: it most certainly WAS your responsibility to defend your sister. In a crisis, she stepped up--stepped up for the long term, too, and she has clearly done a good job--"raised you right, " as they used to say. Your aunt is a jackass who is teaching her sons to be the kind of men who watch the ballgame on TV while their wives slave in the kitchen.
NTA! You are a really good person to step up and defend your sister. She could have allowed you and your brother to go into the system and gone on with her life. But no, she stepped up and made sure you both had a good home and learned responsibility . Your aunt is the AH here, big time.
He didnt hurt anyone with his words. That horried garbage gutter trash of an aunt was hurt by her own guilt and sense of entitlement.
Your aunty and cousins and mother's relatives are big time As_ho__s! They add no value. You're such wonderful people that you even still relate with them. They sure don't deserve you, your sister and your brother!
Isn't it beautiful when simply speaking the truth is the best comeback? Too bad the rest of the family are delusional.
Aunt was trying to make the sister feel small because she knows the family couldn't do what they should have. Yeah the boy is nta.
Your sister raised you right. It couldn't have been easy becoming a mom of a 10 year old and a 2 year old at the age of 19 but she was probably doing most of the work already? The aunt and other family members probably felt scolded and are now transferring guilt for letting a 19 year old take on a responsibility that shouldn't have been hers.
NTA!! Your mom lost custody of you and dear old auntie didn't step up! She has no right to say anything!! Keep your mouth shut auntie dear! Eva has been more of a mother to us than real mom or you!
She may have said you don't have to defend me so they would be mad at her and not him. another way to protect her brother. Awesome sister. I wish them all the best
It sounds as though your Sister is raising two beautiful, polite and helpful young Men. She's doing a Sterling job. And you two should be absolutely fine young Men who'll be fantastic partners for the future. Your Aunts kids, not so much. Their problem, not yours.
Eva probably has learned that raising kids is a lot less perilous if there's a network to help when you need it. Even if they won't help most of the time, or make you grovel before helping you, she's probably hoping she's not alone in raising them. I don't judge her one bit. But I grew up in a volatile house with every interaction requiring delicate handling, so I'm reading that into her reaction to her brother.
How can you and James be removed from your Mom when you were 10 and he wasn't even born yet since he's (9m) when you are writing this?
OP was 17 when he wrote this, and his brother was 9. He was 10 when they were removed from their mother, so that was 7 years ago. His brother was 2. His sister, who stepped up and took them in, was only 19, by the way.
Load More Replies..."she (aunt) doesn't make her sons help with things like that" - great. The aunt is raising her sons to consider normal daily chores to be "women's work." To their future wives - bless you and good luck.
If they can even find a wife if they’re behaving the way the aunt is teaching them. I hope those boys do better than what they’re mom is teaching them
Load More Replies...I love that OP defended his sister. Taking on your siblings is a monumental job, especially when you haven't had real parents taking care of you in the first place. Sounds like it's time to cut the rest of that toxic family loose.
Auntie is defensive because someone else is parenting better than her. So she goes passive-aggressive attack mode. It's on her. She's a mess!
Or because she believes that men shouldn’t help in the kitchen and only women should cook, so asking your sons or brothers to help out in the kitchen is wrong.
Load More Replies...I wished he'd said nothing at that moment. But as soon as everyone was sitting at the table he should have bend his head, folded his hands and started praying loudly: dear God, I thank you with all of my heart for my sister, she's a real gem. The best sister I could wish for. And I thank her for doing everything for me and my brother so we could stay together as a true family when no one else was willing to step up and take us in although she herself had to go into foster care. I love her so much and will always help her like she helped me. Thank you God and thank you dear sister. Amen. And then lean back and see the chaos unfold. Hey, it's Thanksgiving isn't it? Time to say what you are grateful for.
We all wish we could have said the perfect thing, but kudos to this young man for not allowing his sister to be bullied by this useless aunt. Where was she when you boys needed help?
Load More Replies...She's sad just because her family sucks. Buckets. You've shown her you've got her back (even if she says "you don't have to defend me), and she's over and over shown you that she's got your back; all in all good news, time to lose the useless family and choose some new ones.
He defended and protected his sister, who honestly sounds like a saint. Keep protecting her my dude, you will be ok.
F**k those garbage people, cut them out of your life and never look back. Life is too short to keep toxic people around.
NTA. This is my mother's side of the family to a 'T'. When our mother died and our father couldn't take care of us, those vultures took ALL of our possessions. Yet NONE of them stepped up to take us in, resulting in being trapped for nine years in an abusive foster care system. Little wonder that we had as little to do with them as possible. OP was not out of line; that harpy aunt needed to be told off. I hope that there was extremely limited contact after that.
I hope you and your siblings are okay now. No child should ever have to go through that.
Load More Replies...This is so wrong in so many ways. First you are definitely not the AH. You should get commendation for standing up yo your sister who took it upon herself to take her family with her. That aunt is a monster to even say such things. Your sister is showing how to be respectful and help with food preps. This person should get off her fat a*s and help. But it goes to show that they never took in your sister in her most hour of need. Stay tight together you 3 and God speed ⚔️
Aunt probably doesn't like that Eva is a better mother than she is and is jealous
The ruder thing to say would have been: 'If you do not like how my sister raises us, you should have done it yourself.' Anyway, I think OP is much better off with his sister, as well as being raised properly, since he said what he did in a quite decent way. Sometimes the truth just hurts and if you are asking for it...
You're wrong about only one thing: it most certainly WAS your responsibility to defend your sister. In a crisis, she stepped up--stepped up for the long term, too, and she has clearly done a good job--"raised you right, " as they used to say. Your aunt is a jackass who is teaching her sons to be the kind of men who watch the ballgame on TV while their wives slave in the kitchen.
NTA! You are a really good person to step up and defend your sister. She could have allowed you and your brother to go into the system and gone on with her life. But no, she stepped up and made sure you both had a good home and learned responsibility . Your aunt is the AH here, big time.
He didnt hurt anyone with his words. That horried garbage gutter trash of an aunt was hurt by her own guilt and sense of entitlement.
Your aunty and cousins and mother's relatives are big time As_ho__s! They add no value. You're such wonderful people that you even still relate with them. They sure don't deserve you, your sister and your brother!
Isn't it beautiful when simply speaking the truth is the best comeback? Too bad the rest of the family are delusional.
Aunt was trying to make the sister feel small because she knows the family couldn't do what they should have. Yeah the boy is nta.
Your sister raised you right. It couldn't have been easy becoming a mom of a 10 year old and a 2 year old at the age of 19 but she was probably doing most of the work already? The aunt and other family members probably felt scolded and are now transferring guilt for letting a 19 year old take on a responsibility that shouldn't have been hers.
NTA!! Your mom lost custody of you and dear old auntie didn't step up! She has no right to say anything!! Keep your mouth shut auntie dear! Eva has been more of a mother to us than real mom or you!
She may have said you don't have to defend me so they would be mad at her and not him. another way to protect her brother. Awesome sister. I wish them all the best
It sounds as though your Sister is raising two beautiful, polite and helpful young Men. She's doing a Sterling job. And you two should be absolutely fine young Men who'll be fantastic partners for the future. Your Aunts kids, not so much. Their problem, not yours.
Eva probably has learned that raising kids is a lot less perilous if there's a network to help when you need it. Even if they won't help most of the time, or make you grovel before helping you, she's probably hoping she's not alone in raising them. I don't judge her one bit. But I grew up in a volatile house with every interaction requiring delicate handling, so I'm reading that into her reaction to her brother.
How can you and James be removed from your Mom when you were 10 and he wasn't even born yet since he's (9m) when you are writing this?
OP was 17 when he wrote this, and his brother was 9. He was 10 when they were removed from their mother, so that was 7 years ago. His brother was 2. His sister, who stepped up and took them in, was only 19, by the way.
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