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If you think holidays are weird these days, then you clearly haven't seen these 19th-century Victorian Era Christmas cards that were just as creepy as those times themselves. Bored Panda has gone through an expansive TuckDB Ephemera's vintage Holiday greetings postcard collection to gather some of the most bizarre postcards ever made. From frogs stabbing each other to Krampus (a half-goat, half-daemon) entertaining the ladies in the best Victorian Era fashion manner... Yeah, there isn't a more random way to say 'Merry Christmas' to someone these days, but when you think of it, these seasons greetings actually work as a time machine and reveal the relevant topics of those days.
After looking at these Christmas cards, you might be interested to know why exactly was the Victorian Era so creepy, and while there aren't any precise answers to that, we have managed to find some pretty good clues as to why. For starters, the life expectancy in the Victorian Era England was incredibly low as the middle class got around 45 years to live, workers only half of that and children were lucky to survive their 5th birthdays. Because of that, everyday funeral processions were nothing out of the ordinary, and you couldn't scare any Victorian with dying or all the creepiness that comes with it. On top of the high mortality, Victorian Era people were very sexually repressed and confused. So much so, that women were not allowed to ride horses the same way as men, so as not to arouse any feminine passions. On the other hand, male Victorians were so horny, that curved table legs were seen as sexual and were often covered with special cloths. So there you go, a mix of death fascination and sexual frustration is probably what made the Victorian Era as creepy as it was.
Which one of these terrifying greeting cards would like to find in your mailbox to raise your Christmas spirit? Vote below! (h/t)
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#1
Greetings From Krampus
iblowsheep 8 years ago
Sad thing is my 5 year old son would scream his damn head off if we asked him to sit on Santa's lap but would run with his arms extended toward Krampus.
#2
May All Jollity ‘lighten’ Your Christmas Hours
#3
A Merry Christmas To You
#4
May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas
#5
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
SweeptheLeg 8 years ago
Back in the days when people and animals alike dressed and behaved much more formally than today.
#6
May Christmas Be Merry
Janice Foster 8 years ago
I don't mind this - at least they look friendly. No sense of impending doom like some of the other cards...
#7
A Merry Christmas
#8
A Happy Christmas
#9
A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year
#10
Wishing You A Happy Christmas
Yvonne Bernal 8 years ago
Because nothing says Christmas more than a voodoo doll and cannibals
#11
Here's A Crow For Christmas
#12
Wishing You A Jolly Christmas
#13
A Happy Christmas
#14
A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!
#15
A Merry Christmas To You
#16
A Merry Christmas
#17
A Happy Christmas To You
#18
So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up
#19
Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You
![Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You](https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/creepy-victorian-vintage-christmas-cards-9-584aab5f6d9f2__700.jpg "Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You")
#20
A Happy Christmas
#21
A Happy Christmas To You
#22
May You Spend A Happy Chritmas
#23
A Merry Xmas
#24
Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas
#25
With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas
#26
Wishing You A Merry Christmas
Ava Masumi 8 years ago
This one is actually nice. Just like some of Aesop fables' illustrations.
#27
The Best Wishes Of The Season To You
Yvonne Bernal 8 years ago
I thought it was the 6th day of Christmas and the '6 geese a laying' were going to be laying on the dinner table.
#28
Every Good Wish For Your Christmas
#29
A Victorian Snowman
#30
A Right Merry Christmas To You
#31
A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss
#32
A Jolly Christmas
#33
Wishing You A Happy Christmas
#34
May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold
#35
Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree
#37
The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead
#38
With Many Merry Christmas Greeting
#39
Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!
#40
A Merry Christmas To You
Joannakathryn 8 years ago
All these years....we only left him cookies and milk when what he really wanted was wine.
#41
Best Wishes For Christmas
#42
Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray
#43
Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind
#44
A Happy Christmas To You
#45
The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done
#46
Who's Afraid?
#47
I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay
#48
A Joyful Christmas To You
#50
Good Luck！good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!
#51
All Christmas Joy Be Yours
Keke OrzitPanda 8 months ago
What's those lyrics in Jethro Tull's old song, “Eyeing little girls with bad intent?” Yeah, that's what this scene reminds me of...
#52
A Jolly Christmas
#53
Bright Be Thy Christmas
Teri Stearns 3 years ago
I didn’t get anything great for Christmas this year. Just some Chinese junk.
#55
Christmas Orders
Tom Rennick 1 year ago
Nazi jackboots? So it was all forecast before we were even born... ADOLF-HITL...e8e9f4.jpg 
#56
May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day
#57
While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer
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What do you think ?
Hans 8 years ago
I wonder what people will think if in hundred years someone posts an archieved version of Bored Panda to the Universenet and people watch it on their brain-interfaces...
Janice Foster 8 years ago
But...but...it wasn't THAT long ago - why are they so creepy and unrelatable?!
Hans 8 years ago
I wonder what people will think if in hundred years someone posts an archieved version of Bored Panda to the Universenet and people watch it on their brain-interfaces...
Janice Foster 8 years ago
But...but...it wasn't THAT long ago - why are they so creepy and unrelatable?!
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