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“My Uncle Didn’t Die In A Car Accident”: 56 Horror Movie-Worthy Family Secrets
Interview
Keeping a secret is hard. But revealing it might also not be easy, especially if it’s related to the people you love. That might be one of the reasons why many people keep certain things to themselves for years or only share them anonymously if they need the load lifted off their shoulders.
A bunch of ‘Ask Reddit’ community members have recently lifted such a load, after one user asked them to share the darkest family secrets they could never tell anyone. Their stories ranged from upsetting to absolutely shocking and everything in between, with many being worthy of a horror movie scenario, but if you’re brave enough to see what they entailed, you can find them on the list below. Just bear in mind that some of them are seriously disturbing and browse them at your own risk.
Below, you will find not only the secrets but also Bored Panda’s interviews with the OP themselves, as well as with Jennifer Guttman, PsyD, a psychologist and author of Beyond Happiness, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My last name shouldn't be my last name. My great grandfather got it off a tombstone while on the run from the law. My great grandma found out she wasn't legally married after 30 yrs and 5 sons. She ended up in some mental institution in New Orleans and got a lobotomy over it.
She raised me till her death and she was an amazing woman that didn't deserve any of it. She was from the south but studied medicine and wasn't allowed to practice so she ended up teaching black kids to read to p**s off her father. She was one of the first women to vote and have a drivers license in Georgia.
An all around amazing woman that I'm lucky to have been around. She was born in 1899, RIP Irene.
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#2
The darkest family secret used to be that grandma [ended] two husbands. But since she's died and out of reach of the law, I'm telling everyone lmao. My grandma was a bad a*s and was willing to do whatever it took to protect her children. Those guys chose the wrong woman when hunting for children to harm.
Joshua David 5 hours ago
Good for her. I also hope she ended up being able to choose more wisely after a while.
#3
I tell people this all the time, but it's considered pretty taboo by a lot of my family.
My MIL is married to a very religious man, who is very judgmental/outspoken about what's right/wrong.
He's very active in his church (which he constantly reminds people that his father 'built', whatever that means) and will freely remind you that taking the lord's name in vain, or living together before marriage is your free ticket to hell.
The thing is, he's a serial adulterer. He was married to his first wife for over 20 years, and cheated on her almost the entire time.
In fact, he had a long-running affair with my MIL when she was in her 40's. She broke it off because he refused to leave his wife.
When his first wife died, he was knocking on my MIL's door looking for "companionship" before the wife was even buried.
We know of at least two other women with whom he carried on for multiple years.
Apparently in his mind, swearing and failing to go to church every week are mortal sins, but that stuff about adultery was only a suggestion.
I'm always sure to point this out to the young people in my family whenever he drops his holier-than-thou judgements on their lifestyle.
"Say what you will. It's true that I haven't set foot in a church since my wedding 20 years ago. But since then, I never slept with anyone but my wife in that time, either." -Me, at Christmas.
Talking to Bored Panda about the thread, the OP shared that they wanted to ask a question that they wouldn’t necessarily expect many responses to. But quite a few people shared their stories, in many cases, opening a can of worms that few people could have seen coming.
“I had not expected to see some responses that were a bit more dark, to say the least,” the redditor said. They added that their family, too, is not immune to secrets, but they’d rather keep them to themselves. Wondering why many people didn’t refrain from sharing the darkest secrets of their kin, the OP speculated that it was likely the anonymity that Reddit provides that made it easier for netizens to open up.
#4
My great grandfather was well known in town 80 years ago for trying to publicly [end] himself a bunch of times before finally succeeding, I didn’t know until I was 20 and found his obituary. I’m named after him and as a kid my pediatrician, who was really old, always asked about my mental health and encouraged me to talk to a therapist about any dark thoughts I may have. I think the doctor remembered my great grandfathers story and wanted to make sure I didn’t go that way.
#5
The IRA gave my granddad a full military funeral. Nobody alive has any idea why.
Jennifer Guttman, PsyD, seconded the idea that anonymity makes it easier for some people to open up or reveal secrets. “It allows them to distance themselves from the information they’ve been keeping secret. It’s the first step in opening up. It allows them to say or write it even if they aren’t taking responsibility. That’s a big step for some people. Whether it’s sharing the information openly or anonymously, getting the secret out is better for a person’s overall wellbeing.”
#6
Don't think it matters here in the United States but my Great Grandfather, from Japan, was a Buraku (a social caste seen as unclean and impure in Japan) and he had to get fake family history papers and IDs in order to marry my great grandmother. He got the fake papers and IDs from a friend who may or may not have ties to the Yakuza, not really sure, but that's how the story was told to me by my father.
#7
Not exactly dark, but I found out my father wrote p**n novels under a pen name to make ends meet when I was a baby. I've been trying to find one ever since.
#8
My great grandfather would smuggle in alcohol from Canada during prohibition. It was also illegal for native Americans to drink in local bars. But he would invite them in and claim they weren't native Americans but they were from Mexico so they could drink with him. He also had a brother who ran away and joined the circus and eventually became a Hollywood prop man.
I also had a great Uncle that [hurt] his wife so badly she [ended] him. She was one of the first women to win the court case using the battered spouse defense.
A few generations back part of my family were LDS polygamists . Fortunately I'm not directly descended from them.
It's nuts all the dirt you find when doing genealogy!
Discussing the effect keeping secrets from family members can have on a person and their relationships, the expert noted that such secrecy can make family relationships feel less genuine and more guarded.
“This can lead to increasing feelings of tension or awkwardness and eventually reduce communication,” she told Bored Panda.
As for keeping secrets about the family and not from it, Guttman noted that it can make the secret keeper feel isolated, depressed, and anxious.
#9
No one knows where my uncle came from.
So my grandfather was a very high-ranking policeman, but also a raging a*****e. My nana unfortunately had a stillborn baby, and my very Catholic grandfather was a right d**k about her grief. He refused to acknowledge the baby as having any right to be buried in the family cemetery as it was not baptized. Nana suffered ernomously in her grief, and Grandad was sick of it.
So, one day he comes home with a newborn, told Nana they had adopted him and she could stop crying now.
And that was my uncle.
He came with zero paperwork. No birth certificate, no adoption papers, nothing.
Our best guess is that he was the baby of an incarcerated woman, but as both grandparents have passed away now, we really don't know for sure. I personally don't care about the legacy of an angry and abusive man, but the rest of the family keep it under tight wraps so that his service history with the police won't be tarnished over the fact that we're pretty sure he stole a baby.
#10
I've told this story but it's still pretty f*****g dark. My great grandmother's father was a family annihilator and [ended] her mom and all 4 of her siblings when she was very young (5 or 6). While he was [attacking] everyone else she hid under the porch. Apparently he called her name looking for her for hours before finally giving up and committing [self-harm]. She was the only survivor. I didn't find this out until after she had passed away when I was in my teens.
Edit: I know it's technically my great great grandfather but f**k that and f**k him.
#11
My mom gave birth on the floor of her apartment. I used to think it was because it happened so fast, that's what she always said. I recently learned it was because she was in denial she was pregnant and never got any prenatal care..denied it up until the baby was literally coming out of her.
CommanderDucky-He/Him 10 hours ago (edited)
Pretty sure my parents denied that my birth happened even after I was born
“The secret keeper may experience somatic symptoms of distress such as headaches, insomnia, and loss of appetite,” Guttman continued, discussing how keeping secrets can influence a person’s well-being. “Keeping secrets can also lead to difficulty focusing or making decisions in other areas of the person’s life because they are distracted by the energy it’s taking to keep the secret.”
#12
My mom runs an illegal ferret-breeding/rescue operation in California where they're banned
She has about 200-300 ferrets living in her home at any given point in time
#13
I found out right before she died that my grandmother was r**ed by her brother when she was 16. She was pregnant and my grandfather married her and raised the child as his own.
#14
My uncle didn't die in a car accident. He [ended] his mistress and then [ended] himself by crashing his car with her body in the trunk.
#15
My uncle [ended] my grandfather (his father in law) in the 60s. He had a heart attack after my uncle pushed him down the stairs. My mom was 6 and witnessed it. Everyone covered it up and said it was a fall so that my uncle didn’t keep my aunt, who was being abused, from being able to see her family. I didn’t find out until I was 19. I hugged that man more times than I can count. This has really f****d my family up.
zims 13 hours ago
Why cover it up? If you get him on a murder or manslaughter charge you save the wife WITHOUT her continuing to be trapped with a homicidal abuser. At the very least "he killed my father" is a reason any divorce judge would accept while uncle is tied up in the murder trial, even if he gets off.
#16
I had to put my dog to sleep in 2023 because she was lethargic and dehydrated, with vomiting and diarrhea, and lost the use of her back legs. I assumed - paired with her CCD - that it was time for her to go.
Three months later, I received a recall notice informing me that a batch of her prescription dog food was formulated incorrectly, causing the exact symptoms (minus the CCD) she experienced the night before I had her euthanized. I threw the notice away and never told anyone about it.
#17
The person my uncle thinks is his older sister is actually his mother but my family has kept it a secret this whole time. Most of us know except for him… She got pregnant in high school and they’ve pretended his grandmother was his mother because it’s taboo
#18
My Great Grandfather was a member of the Klan Wrecking Crew in Mississippi in the teens and twenties. He later became something called the Grand Kleagle I think.
So yeah, he was a racist a*****e.
Luke Branwen 4 hours ago
If I had to guess, I'd say "Klan Wrecking Crew" was a crew that wrecks klansmen... Disappointing.
#19
My great grandpa robbed a bank and did serious time for it. This was a big secret, but it all came to light when my great uncle tried to join the FBI as a forensic accountant. Needless to say, he wasn’t hired.
Simon Chen 14 hours ago
He was rejected because of his relation to a criminal? Without being a criminal himself? Is that legal? Sounds pretty unfair to me
#20
After my mother found out that her husband was infertile, she decided to have 6 children with her father in law. On top of that she brainwashed her husband (my legal dad) for years into believing the diagnosis of infertility was wrong and had him raise us as his children.
#21
My two older brothers are adopted, their bio mom was my dad's sister. It was common knowledge that their mom was [ended] while being a high paid escort. I had no idea they never knew this their entire life. Onetime my brother said something about wondering where his mom was because she left when he was a kid, and I was like holy moly that's not what happened. My brothers were in their 40s when they finally found out.
#22
My grandfather had two families, in the same town, at the same time. The 1930 and 1940 census were very interesting. Of course everyone in my mother's side (her father) denied it was the same person, but it was.
#23
My brother committed [self-harm]. I helped my mother and sister pick up the pieces. They both viewed me as somebody very safe and responsible and comforting, and nobody in the family has ever found out that I failed to complete my own attempt years before he did, spending four days in hospital and two months off sick.
He was always better at things than me.
#24
Already been said on here, but might as well say again.
I'm half-Japanese and half American. My Japanese grandpa fought against the Chinese in WW2 (though he was forced into service despite how much he didn't want to). He saw minimal fighting and was not part of any of the Japanese atrocities (Reddit is bad at understanding that not all the Japanese soldiers back then were not barbaric).
He only told two short stories of his time in war.
1.) When Japan was leaving Shanghai during the end of the war, my grandpa lost a coin toss with his friends for the first boat out. He sat on the docks as he watched the boat with all his friends and half his company get blown up by allied bombers.
2.) Last military mission. Hiroshima was bombed. He was ordered to find survivors if any. He only said, "We were told to find survivors... We only found ash."
After the war, he became a diplomat for Japan from 1950-1998 advocating heavily for peace and being anti-war. He never told anyone, besides my grandma, about his military service. Only found out about his past when he was nearing the end of his life.
I wouldn't call this dark, but more of "Oh... Right. I have family that actually fought against the 'good guys' in WW2 technically... This is a weird feeling."
#25
Like so many others, during The Depression my great-grandfather lost his job. His wife and their baby son moved back in with her parents but they wouldn’t let my great-grandfather come with them. He had to sleep on benches, stand in bread lines and try to find work to send money to his wife and baby.
Why?
Turns out the great-grands had knocked boots before they were married (Irish Catholic), which ultimately resulted in the birth of the aforementioned baby. They did get married before the baby was born, but my great-grandma’s parents never forgave what they viewed as his fault. From what I understand, he was a gruff, but good man who worked a blue collar job to send his four children to expensive private schools. That baby grew up to be an engineer who helped design airplanes and the NASA space shuttle.
#26
My dad stepped up to help with my uncle's kids after his passing. Uncle's oldest son needed rehab, and Dad told him he was taking him. Cousin didn't take that news very well, ran into the house, and came back out a moment later, running toward Dad. My mom - a sweet, mild, preacher's wife - realized the cousin had a knife behind his back. She ran and tackled him and got the knife away from him.
The cousin did go to rehab and has been clean for over 20 years. He's done very well for himself.
#27
My uncle bought a yacht. The previous owner had had a heart attack in the yacht. They kept his body in the freezer.
#28
It’s me. My dad never told his family I existed. I was shameful, maybe he was more ashamed. After he died they found out about me and kindly asked me not to come to the funeral. I get why he never told them.
#29
After grandma and grandpa were long dead, my dumb cousin does an Ancestry DNA or 23 and me, figures out that his DNA doesn’t match with the other cousins who have done this (my two aunts’ kids). Someone went through the details and figured out his mom is not the child of grandpa. My aunt (who is a horrible person) proceeds to have a meltdown.
Heir of Durin 14 hours ago
Was she having a meltdown because she found out her dad was not actually her birth father? If so, I’d say a meltdown is warranted…
#30
My father was always very distant when I was a child and eventually my parents ended up getting divorced. I never really saw my dad again after that but it was always odd to me. My parents never fought, argued, yelled or anything. The house was always quiet, clean and we were always well off.
We eventually found out he died from word of mouth in 2020. My mom for the first time started sharing stories. Turns out he'd go completely silent sometimes, just absolutely mute. He would go to work, come home and not speak or interact with anyone in the house, I was young so I don't really remember.
I was always curious as to why he would do that because from my mom's stories it seemed to happen regularly. A few weeks ago my mom told me a story of my dad and her being at dinner with my dad's parents and how his father (my grandpa) smacked my grandmother at the dinner table and everyone just continued like it was normal. Ever since I've heard this story I've been trying to delve into my family's history but it's been very hard to find anything. My theory is that there was some very heavy [mistreatment] going on and my father probably suffered from some intense mental issues because of that.
Eastendbird 11 hours ago
My Dad used to do this when he was going through his deepest depression. My mum told me, years later. He could manage to talk to my brother and me, little conversations about what we'd done at school, but he wouldn't/couldn't talk to her. She said it used to break her heart. She still stayed with him. And yes, she tried to get him to talk to a psychiatrist, but he said it was "a load of nonsense": "he keeps asking me about my childhood...as if that matters..."
#31
My grandparents were first cousins. Born rural in the 20s. Even more, my grandmother was an identical twin and the twins married brothers (their cousins). I often wonder if my mom and her cousins aren't genetically more like siblings.
I tell lots of people this though. It's got nothing to do with me so I don't have a sense of shame about it. It's an interesting shock of a conversation starter lol
Lost Panda 13 hours ago
My parents are second cousins. As a kid, when I found out it was embarrassing. As an adult, I don't care, but boy when my wife found out (thanks mom) it has been ammunition in every argument since.
#32
I have the reversed version of this! I keep telling my family and they keep being shocked.
My great-uncle (grandfather's brother on my mom's side) traveled extensively in his youth. He first met his "friend" while tracking across Australia. He eventually relocated to Canada where hun and his "friend" bought a house together. (me and the rest of the fam are located in Europe) He lived together with his "friend" for decades until his "friend" passed of old age a couple years back. My grand-uncle will be buried with his "friend" upon his own passing.
I keep telling my family that it was not just his friend and they keep being surprised. It's so strange because being gay is not at all taboo anymore in my community. It's just something the family has repeatedly told one another from a less open-minded time I guess.
#33
I have an uncle literally nobody talks about... I have no idea if he's even still alive.
He [made love] with a woman. She told him she had AIDS. He [ended] her.
Now, that's what he claims. The woman didn't have AIDS and he didn't contract it
I didn't even know about him until I was doing a family tree thing online. Asked my grandparents about it and they told to me to never ever speak of him again.
Brought it up with my dad a few years later. "He said he's not your real uncle, don't ask about it again" in the most chilling way I've ever heard.
#34
My 3x great grandfather [ended] a man in a duel in the south of France shortly after the American civil war. He left France after that and that's why I'm American and not French I guess 😆
#35
I am 99% positive my great parents were in the mafia OR went into the witness protection program. There is no trace of them past my grandmother and her brother. Their names didn’t even appear in their obituaries. I can’t find anything for them OR their parents, though they were immigrants here from Italy. But there should be atleast a single trace of them. I do know that side had mafia ties, so that’s the only logical conclusion I have. My grandmother didn’t speak about them, but she was close to her brother. I just haven’t seen anything like it before. Literally not a single trace online or in any data bases.
#36
My siblings and I never knew our maternal grandparents. I got curious and started doing some research on my grandfather. Found out he originally came from some money. His family came from Georgia where they made a lot of money in textiles … specifically cotton … in the 19th century. I have kept it to myself and not told any of my siblings.
#37
My great grandma was one of the biggest madams of the south. She did prison time, got out and changed her name.
#38
My grandmother had a sister, who had a son. The father of this son was never known, but she always claimed it was from a Canadian soldier during the Liberation of the Netherlands. Her not being married and having a child without a father was of course really frowned upon.
She kept up this story of this Canadian untill on her death bed, there she explained it was not a Canadian but a German. (And one pretty f*****g high up the order with the SS too, not some regular soldier.)
#39
My grandfather—— whom I always knew as laid back, funny, loving, and doting—— used to get drunk and beat my grandmother. I overheard my mom say it during an argument she had with my grandmother.
He was also 17 when he started dating her (when she was 13).
I was massively angry and disappointed in him when I found out, but they seem to have had a thriving marriage anyways. I haven’t said anything cuz it’s not my place nor business, but it still taught me that people and things are not always what they seem.
#40
Not a secret but still dark. In the second world war my grandfather stole an ID-tag from a deceased Russian soldier. By doing that he condemned him to anonymity and made his family not ever know what happened to him. I do not know why he did that but it bothers me.
#41
My grandpa’s younger brother was killed by a drunk driver when he was a kid. (He was originally named after his father.)
The driver was the police chief’s son, and faced no consequences. A few nights after the accident, my great grandfather and a few of his friends went out. The next morning, that driver was found [dead], my great grandma *knew* it was her husband that had [ended] him. She was so angry about it, she scratched out her son’s name on his birth certificate and changed it because she didn’t want her son named after a [criminal].
#42
My grandmother allegedly had an affair with her sisters husband and ended up pregnant. She has the baby, leaves her with a family member, a couple weeks later the baby is dead from dehydration caused by diarrhea.
I'll never know what actually happened. When my gma was still alive, I straight up asked her about it. She didn't give me a straight answer, kinda just danced around it. It would make sense, seeing as her and that sister had a very adversarial relationship. I was told this by their brother, who happened to be schizophrenic so who knows what the truth is.
#43
To me it's not really a big deal since it's sort of far removed but on my moms side of the family there was a lot of cousin marrying going on with her parents and grandparents generations (and I assume it goes further back). While I'm not *totally* sure whether or not my grandma and grandpa on that side of the family were related I'm *pretty* sure they were. I also assume this is why half my aunts and uncles were seriously weirdos and why I have a weird genetic blood disorder that's sort of the opposite of hemophilia.
#44
My mom lied to everyone about being in the Marine Corps. The only people who know are me and my dad. I’ve tried to tell my sisters but they honestly don’t care to listen. For years, she participated in Veterans Day celebrations and played the sympathy card for years. She still talks to aspiring marines about her “struggles”
She was even my friend’s honorary first salute and I don’t have the heart to tell her that it was all fake.
#45
My step grandfather was sleeping with my mother for years, she was an addict and he supplied her with pills that he stole from my great grandmother, my mother had many affairs in my lifetime, this was not an affair, to this day I cannot imagine what my mother was living with as this continued for years, it does say a lot about the power of addiction. It is believed that my grandmother knew about this situation but sweeping it under the rug was the way they dealt with everything.
I am 62 and still struggle with what I grew up in, my stepfather was [violent] also,
As a 62 year old woman I have struggled with relationships especially with men, although I’ve been married for over 40
years I still struggle with all things related to [intimacy], never put your child in a position of your soundboard, All if this gave me a very warped view of relationships….
#46
My grandmother was kicked out of Ireland with her father when she was a little girl. The way she explained it, her father was labeled “too extreme for the IRA”. I laughed it off until my father and I visited Ireland during a golf vacation and approached a local historical expert to research a bit of our family history. They got wide eyes when we mentioned great-grandfather’s name and said we shouldn’t tell another soul about our relatives.
Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 6 hours ago
Several Republican paramilitaries were formed by former IRA members who thought they weren't doing enough.
#47
My mom was [disturbed] during her bouts of manic depression. During one of her flip outs she threw a hammer presumably at my Dad, but my 3 year old face got in the way.
#48
I told my wife because it surfaced after my father [ended] himself but he was a recovering d**g addict and alcoholic who was decently good at hiding his pill addiction during his last relapse. He eventually got ahold of some bad mix of something that fried his brain. He had no idea who anyone was, didnt recognize his grandaughter, and decided to [end] himself 3 days after my wedding.
We only learned about his relapse because his closest friend was his supplier until he ran out while in mexico and got ahold of who knows what.
D***s are bad, mmk.
#49
My bio grandmother had I’m not sure how many kids but she was with an abusive man. She took my mom and her twin sister and abandoned the other kids with the abusive husband. Decades later one of the kids she abandoned tracked her down but my grandmother wouldn’t speak to her. So she found my mother. Her and my mom went out to my grandmothers house drunk one night beating the door down trying to talk to my grandmother. Well, this got nowhere and actually got my mother shunned from the family forever. When I found my biological family 10 years ago they couldn’t even tell my grandfather who I was because I was my mother’s child. We literally lied to my grandfather for years saying I was just a friend of the family while I was hanging out in my their house…weird s**t lol. I guess I was just grateful to be around my family whether they knew it or not lol?
#50
My mum earns 6 figures yet is a mistress for a millionaire. I’ve known for 10+ years. He regularly pays money into her account, drips of a few thousand a month.
He has bought my grandparents things, bought me things. I pretend he’s just a great and generous family friend but I know she’s f*****g for cash. It’s not even like she needs it. It’s wild.
#51
My great uncle Donald [ended] his ex wife so he wouldn’t have to pay child support and alimony. And then my great grandma covered for him when the cops came to question him. She said that he was with her all night and I guess it being back then and also in a small town they didn’t really question that hard about it. My grandpa said he was a kid when this happened and he remembered hearing that while he was playing in the living room and he was wondering why his mom was lying lol. My great uncle Donald is still alive to this day and after [ending] his ex wife, he ended up abandoning his kid by dropping him off at his grandmothers house and never coming back. He also ended up having [intercourse] with a 16 year old girl when he was like 50 and her mom allowed it to happen hoping that he would sell her his horse ranch for a discounted price. But when he didn’t do that, she reported him to cops and he got arrested and she was able to get the ranch at the end. Still f****d up how she basically pimped out her minor daughter but whatever. Anyway he didn’t serve time for that long tho and now he’s out and doing scams to make ends meet.
#52
My sister attempted [self-harm] at least 5 times but was always rescued. She is assisted living now but doesn’t understand why she can’t be free to have an apartment.
She was valedictorian of her high school class.
#53
My grandfather and his brothers after a long time conflict with Pashtun Kuchis who are nomadic people, every season came and destroyed large parts of their crops with their livestock decided to murder more than 10 Kuchi families by poisoning wells they used.
#54
Not a dark but it's still pretty sus: My great-grandmother might have had an affair with her brother-in-law, who might be the real father of my grandfather
#55
My mom f****d strangers while me dad was at work. My sister and me where in the next room hearing it all. We where young, so hadn't had a clue what was going on.
#56
My grandparents used to have this painting of a little blonde girl standing in a field that hung above their couch, so me being an a*****e, decided to tell my little sister that she was the girl in the painting because we found her on the side of the road. She believed me for literal yeeears! 😅😂
We had a good laugh after. 🤌🏼
What do you think ?
FrogMan 7 hours ago
There is something I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. it was weird, I... I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. That I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho
Robert Beveridge 5 hours ago
This is probably more common than I expect, but I convinced multiple people for non-trivial amounts of time that we get duck sauce from squeezing ducks.
FrogMan 7 hours ago
There is something I want to get off my chest. It's about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. it was weird, I... I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. That I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho
Robert Beveridge 5 hours ago
This is probably more common than I expect, but I convinced multiple people for non-trivial amounts of time that we get duck sauce from squeezing ducks.
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