Go read any of your job contracts or manuals and you’ll probably see there is nothing to address the death of a coworker. At least there wasn’t when the World Trade Center collapsed and several thousand grief and crisis counselors were sent like D-Day infantries ready to help tens of thousands of mourning workers.

No matter how close you were to your colleague(s), it’s a messy affair through and through. Also, a tragedy that might just reveal the real face of your managers and out-of-touch, ‘Don’t let the productivity slide down, people!’ bosses.

Dealing with the passing of a coworker is a difficult and emotional business

Image credits: Ferran Moya (not the actual photo)

Today, there are as many decent companies that have an appropriate infrastructure to handle the death of a colleague (like Google) as there are tone-deaf ones. The workplace that u/comrade-linux‘s friend works in is clearly on the wrong side of the tracks.

As far as the email that was shared on r/antiwork goes, it’s a clear indicator that some workplaces and managers should go through appropriate training before handling such cases. “If you need a moment to grieve, please feel free to clock out and spend some time in the break room,” an email that was sent to the whole staff reads. So far, so good… But not a moment passes before the same email changes its tone to corporate and reminds everyone that grieving should not get in the way of the team’s efficiency.

Pssst! Want to read more stories like this? Check this and this out!

And yet, this email shows that some companies simply can’t be bothered to care about all that

Image credits: Midwest People’s History

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Many leaders will tell you that a colleague’s death is not something they’re coached on in leadership trainings and company handbooks. And knowing that the global death rate has increased by nearly 17% since 2019, when the not-so-novel pandemic (soon to be endemic) began, it mustn’t have increased their confidence in riding the team through these deadly ages.

In order to find out if many leaders and companies struggle with this universal problem, we reached out to Gianpiero Petriglieri, an associate professor at INSEAD Business School and one of the 50 most influential management thinkers in the world.

“In most organizations, grief and mourning are still considered a taboo,” Petriglieri told Bored Panda. “That’s why there are two cases: in the first, there’s at least some recognition from management’s perspective that it needs to be addressed.” On the other, he told us, management tries to brush it off and “pretend like nothing happened.”

Petriglieri then pointed out how the majority of modern companies approach navigating the following weeks after a colleague’s passing. “Whether it’s a book of memories or a space dedicated for grieving and sharing how everyone feels about it—having some kind of ritual is a must.” He says that this helps the bereaved workplace to process the loss of their colleague in a much faster and healthier way.

Turns out, that’s already been scientifically proven. As Francesca Gino, an associate professor at Harvard Business School found out in his experimental research, rituals indeed alleviate and reduce grief—even among people who don’t fully believe in them. No wonder, then, why Japanese and Chinese workers start their mornings with collective singing.

“It’s paradoxical that the more you openly acknowledge it, the easier it is for everyone to process it and eventually move on with the work,” Petriglieri said. But that’s easier said than done: as this research found, almost 70% of managers don’t like engaging with their employees. Talk about giving grieving colleagues a hug or a day off.

“Managers often say, ‘This organization is a community.’ Or, ‘I want us to have a relationship of complete openness and trust.’ How they deal with colleague’s passing is a way to show how genuine their statements are,” Petriglieri pointed out. In other terms: are you simply a cog in a well-oiled, money-making machine or an actual part of the family?

After all, “moments like these are exactly when you can show your humanity as a manager,” Petriglieri reminded. It doesn’t mean that as a manager, you have to sacrifice productivity in order to heal the entire workplace. The support lies in simple things: attention and understanding. “Giving the deceased coworker’s family a call or a visit, sending them a card.”

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