Imagine saving up for your first home, and looking forward to all the many problems with evil, greedy and unreasonable landlords becoming a thing of the past… No way! The real problems are just beginning!

Here’s more proof – this story told to us by the user u/betovetoaita. About how his wife tried by hook or by crook to coax him to purchase her ‘dream house,’ even despite the obvious ‘red flag’ in the husband’s eyes. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

More info: Reddit

The author of the post and his wife are in the process of buying their first house – and this process is really long

Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)

The spouses want to avoid any possible problems while picking the ‘perfect’ house

Image credits: u/betovetoaita

Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)

In fact, the main deal-breaker for the husband is the house belonging to a HOA, as he has a poor experience of interacting with them

Image credits: u/betovetoaita

Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)

So recently the realtor offered them one more house which met literally all the couple’s wishes – but it was a HOA one

Image credits: u/betovetoaita

The man said ‘No’ right off the bat, but his wife viewed the house behind his back – and tried to coax him to change his mind

So, the Original Poster (OP) and his wife are planning to buy their first home, and they are trying to consider all the pros and cons in advance. The location, the schools for their future children, a large lawn for their dog… In short, the couple made a whole list of their desires and ‘red flags,’ and as a result, choosing a house turned out to be an incredibly long process.

We will not go into details of all the unsuccessful and failed deals, dishonest sellers and other obstacles that our heroes had to overcome. At the same time, perhaps the main deal-breaker for the husband was the fact that the house belonged to an HOA.

And then, when the spouses, it would seem, had already lost hope of finding that one and only, unique, house of their dreams – the realtor sent the wife information about a house that had just hit the market. And lo and behold – it met literally all their wishes!

“But that doesn’t happen!” you will perhaps say, and you’ll be absolutely right. Any ideal product must have some drawback, and this house also had one. Yes, the house belonged to the local HOA, which automatically transferred it to the “screw it!” category in the OP’s mind.

The thing is that the spouses had different experiences of interacting with these wonderful organizations. More precisely, the author’s wife had never lived in an HOA house, but our hero grew up in one – and remembered from childhood how much nerves it took for his parents to fight with entitled neighbors, arrogant board members and other ‘delights’ inherent in literally any HOA.

The man was completely sincere in his desire to never deal with an HOA again – but his wife, as it turned out, arranged to view the house behind his back, and she liked it even more. So much so that she promised to put an offer on it – and upon returning home, attempted to persuade her husband.

But our hero was absolutely adamant. He reminded his wife of the 2-yes rule they had previously adopted, and that she knew that belonging to a HOA automatically crosses out any, even the most beautiful, house from the list of available ones. And that she had acted pretty underhandedly by touring the house behind his back.

The wife, in turn, accused the spouse of depriving her and their family of the opportunity to live in a wonderful house that met all their other wishlist points because of his prejudice. Another family drama followed – and the author decided to seek some online support just in case.

Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)

“To be honest, I’m surprised that the realtor even offered the clients this house, if they were told in advance that belonging to the HOA is actually a deal-breaker,” says Yulia Shurinova, a real estate agent from Odessa, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “However, if the situation was such that they had already rejected more than a dozen houses, then the agent could simply offer a new one, so to speak, ‘at random.’ That happens sometimes.”

“On the other hand, HOA is not always a terrible thing. Perhaps this man’s parents’ bad experience seriously influenced his beliefs. Perhaps if the house is really good, it’s really worth checking out the local HOA and the board members.”

“In any case, sometimes it really happens that the real estate agents identify the ‘weak link’ in the couple in advance – the person who can be influenced easily and who will then persuade the spouse. And this is what happened here. It’s not even surprising that the house was shown to the wife first, hoping that she would like it. In any case, I hope that everything works out well for this couple – and they really find a house that suits them both completely,” Yulia ponders.

People in the comments also asked a reasonable question – what was the real estate agent guided by while showing this house to the author’s wife, knowing about their red flags? “Just wondering – Why is your realtor showing you homes that have HOAs if you have expressed it’s a non-starter for you?” one of the commenters wrote.

Overall, people really think that the OP’s wife didn’t do the right thing by negotiating behind his back. “You’re allowed to both have deal-breakers. So, regardless of what your deal-breakers are, you are NTA here,” someone claimed. However, the responders also think that it is worth carefully reading the HOA rules for this house.

“My suggestion would be to get your realtor to give you a copy of the rules for this HOA, do some research, and see if it’s really as bad as you fear,” another commenter wisely added. “My old neighborhood had one on paper but in practice it did nothing. Either way, your wife will appreciate your willingness to consider compromising on this issue.” And what do you, dear readers, also think about this situation?

People in the comments agreed that the wife behaved inappropriately, but suggested the man check the local HOA rules once more

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