Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Couple Uninvites A Guest From Their Wedding After Reading His Facebook Posts, Divides People’s Opinions
Wedding etiquette can be a tough nut to crack, a difficult maze to navigate, and far from a piece of (delicious three-tiered wedding) cake. Knowing how to behave when problems arise can let you avoid a lot of stress before your big day. However, some situations are trickier than the rest.
Image credits: Jeremy Wong (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Quackers4Crackers
Image credits: Quackers4Crackers
“Sometimes, writing things out makes it easier to say exactly what you want in the way you plan to say it. Others feel better having a personal chat over the phone. Just do what is going to help you be as authentic, diplomatic and kind as possible. You also need to expect that there will be some upset, and you need to greet that with acceptance and compassion. If you’re making the decision to uninvite a guest, you need to be ok with handling the consequences of that,” Anna and Sarah from The Wedding Society told Bored Panda how to tackle uninvitations.
They also suggest that you try and be honest and frame things in such a way that things seem like they turned out for the best for everyone involved. “There’s no real way to get around the pain of uninviting or being uninvited to a wedding. The only thing that eases the sting is making it as kind as possible and trying to see your situation from the other person’s perspective. Try to frame it like you’re doing the best thing for both parties, such as saying, ‘I feel like you’d want to be aligned with people who have the same values as you, and I don’t think we’re those people.’ Just don’t be dishonest. It’s better to give no reason than lying for the sake of an excuse. Everyone deserves honesty.”
Even though most of the AITA community agreed that Quackers4Crackers did the right thing, far from every redditor was on her side. Some criticized the bride-to-be for lacking the courage to call the guest and having a mature conversation about the situation.
Meanwhile, others pointed out that the redditor herself stated that the guest was always polite and non-aggressive in person.
Uninviting someone from a wedding can be a harrowing experience. Odds are, you’ll feel guilty and embarrassed. After all, it’s tough telling someone that they’re no longer wanted at your special celebration.
The Knot highlights the simple truth that prevention is the best cure: if you’re mindful about your guest list from the very start, it’ll be far less likely that you’ll then have to disinvite someone. After all, it’s far easier emotionally (if not financially!) to add to your guest list than to subtract from it.
“When creating your guest list, think long and hard about whom you choose to include. If budget restrictions or venue capacity are the reason you’re tempted to downsize your headcount, it’s perfectly okay to create an A list and a B list of guests. Much better to use this strategy than to overshoot on invites and have to revoke them later,” The Knot explains.
Something else to keep in mind before disinviting someone is the fallout. Think about how this will affect not only your relationship but also the entire atmosphere surrounding your wedding. Of course, it’s your special day and everything is supposed to go according to your plan, but sometimes compromises are necessary for long-term stability, so grinning and bearing things is also a viable strategy.
However, if you do go down the uninvitation route, then it’s best to be very mature about it and talk it out in detail, looking for a resolution. What this means is having a face-to-face conversation if possible. Giving them a call is the second-best option
Most redditors thought that the happy couple were well within their rights to uninvite the guest
However, some internet users thought that the situation was a bit more nuanced, based on the information the poster shared
What do you think ?
Troux 3 years ago
All of the 'YTA'' posts seem to think that being hateful online is ok as long as you behave yourself in public. No., no it isn't, and no we don't trust you to be completely different from who you are online. If he insists that you should have called top be more direct, then he'll probably decide to be more direct in person, as well. Wise move removing the toxin.
Manuela Martins 3 years ago
I can't even begin to understand what there is to think about here... Whether it's a wedding or not, I would advise everyone strongly to stay away from such people on principle.
LuckyL 3 years ago
I think it's fine to decide for ones wedding, who should come and who should stay away. And if they learn, what a mean and hateful person one of their invited guests is, I think it's fine to uninvite. Of course not the nicest thing to do, but also with the covis fear, it think it's reasonable. Yes, they should have called. But I get writing is easier, for me it's sometimes really hard to find the right words when talking,so taking the time to write makes sense.
Kiem Gallagher 3 years ago
I say it's great they only wrote to him and didn't call him because it is EXACTLY what he does... he posts hateful, bigoted and disgusting insanity he claims he would NEVER say to people face to face, a little dose of his own medicine is exactly what he deserves.
Load More Replies...
Troux 3 years ago
All of the 'YTA'' posts seem to think that being hateful online is ok as long as you behave yourself in public. No., no it isn't, and no we don't trust you to be completely different from who you are online. If he insists that you should have called top be more direct, then he'll probably decide to be more direct in person, as well. Wise move removing the toxin.
Manuela Martins 3 years ago
I can't even begin to understand what there is to think about here... Whether it's a wedding or not, I would advise everyone strongly to stay away from such people on principle.
LuckyL 3 years ago
I think it's fine to decide for ones wedding, who should come and who should stay away. And if they learn, what a mean and hateful person one of their invited guests is, I think it's fine to uninvite. Of course not the nicest thing to do, but also with the covis fear, it think it's reasonable. Yes, they should have called. But I get writing is easier, for me it's sometimes really hard to find the right words when talking,so taking the time to write makes sense.
Kiem Gallagher 3 years ago
I say it's great they only wrote to him and didn't call him because it is EXACTLY what he does... he posts hateful, bigoted and disgusting insanity he claims he would NEVER say to people face to face, a little dose of his own medicine is exactly what he deserves.
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
89
121