Most internet recipes severely underrate how long things take, i.e. water boils in 5 minutes, a pan full of sauce reduces by half in 10 minutes, chicken browns on one side in 2 or 3 minutes.... LIES! Everything takes at least twice as long usually. Rachel Ray and her "30 Minute Meals" is probably the worst offender. Decent enough recipes, but the timing is straight up fiction.

Ray_Kramer , HS You Report

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“Only cook with wine you’d drink”

No. It should be “don’t use cooking wine“

A cheap bottle of wine is all you need to cook. It don’t need to be a nice bottle for drinking.

getjustin , Tony Asleson Report

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javaavril said:
Recipes that claim onions caramelize in ten minutes.

badbakedpotato replied:
I think this might also be a function of people not understanding the difference between browning onions and caramelizing them.

JackfromShellKnob replied:
Or sweating them, which is what it probably should be called most of the time a short time is listed.

keelhaulrose replied:
I once saw "caramelize your onions, about 5-8 minutes" and my reaction was "I've seen PE classes that are sweatier than those onions are going to be in 5 minutes, let alone anything approaching caramelization".

javaavril , ccbarr Report

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"If you cut the root off of an onion, you wont cry"

Been cooking professionally for over ten years, this is a lie! But every single friend or family member comes up to me and says "Ohh did you know...?"

Like dude, I've had to caramelize a 50lb bag of onions. If there was a way to stop the acids forming gasses from the split onion cells, I would've researched the hell out of it and found the answer by now.

Sharp blade makes the best solution, though I have seen people soak a sliced onion in ice water. Something about the water pulling the amino acids out but then you have slippery onions and a wet mess after its all said and done.

Durragon , Leonardo Shinagawa Report

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burpeedevil said:
Add garlic first to a recipe.

mincepryshkin- replied:
I made so much of my early cooking life so much more difficult by thinking that garlic always had to go in at the start. Most of the time I was fighting for my life trying to keep garlic from burning.

burpeedevil , Mike Mozart Report

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Browning meat doesn’t matter (for a stew etc.). It f*****g does. Anyone who says otherwise is a w!@#e for the media.

chzburgers4life , Joy Report

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Salting pasta water helps it cook faster. Yes, salt your pasta water- but not because it will boil or cook faster. Just because it tastes good.

"Chemicals" are bad. Everything is chemicals. That "no nitrate" bacon was marinated in concentrated celery juice, which is rich in....nitrates. No MSG, but aren't mushrooms and miso delicious? No added sugar...just a lot of boiled down grape juice. I'm not saying that adding stuff willynilly is necessarily healthful, but let's be honest about the chemical content of "no X" vs conventional foods.

[Writer's Note: technically, it does help the water come to a boil faster, but it is an insignificant change given how humans calculate time.]

riverrocks452 , Didriks Report

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RocketPawnch said:
The MSG/Chinese food headache. You eat Doritos just fine; I can see your orange fingers from here.

RobotPolarbear replied:
You're right, if you can eat Doritos just fine then MSG/Chinese food is fine for you too.

However, some people with very severe migraines do seem to be impacted by high glutamate foods. I can only eat things like Doritos and Chinese food sparingly. But Glutamate occurs naturally in things like mushrooms and Parmesan cheese too. Those foods are just as likely to give me a migraine despite being "natural".

RocketPawnch , Camy West Report

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britb5476 said:
That a cast iron pan needs to be babied and treated like a mythical creature.

JimHFD103 replied:
No dishwasher here, but we use hot water and dawn on ours just like all our other dishes, and have like this metal chainmail thing for scrubbing off stuck on food. Afterwards, rinse clean, stick back on the stove, heat, wipe any excess water off, thin coat of oil (sometimes that's a good spray of Pam lol), heat off, wipe the oil with a paper towel so the whole inside is nice and shiny and that's what we do. Based on some descriptions I've seen I'm sure that'll give some people a heart attack, but we're a fire station with multiple crews using the cast iron daily and doing that exact same process and the cast iron pans have lasted us years.

britb5476 , WordRidden Report

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Ok-Strain-9847 said:
That 'Organic' food is better for you. Just because it says 'Organic' on the label, it is good. Unless I can actually See the process of growing and processing of the food labeled 'Organic', I aint believing you.

150603 replied:
I used to work in a place that used a chemical they called T40. It bleached your clothes if you got any on you. They then introduced Organic T40 which did exactly the same thing. It was still a chemical made of other chemicals!

Ok-Strain-9847 , Richard Eriksson Report

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"Instant" pot recipes that say you can cook something in six minutes. NO YOU F*****G CAN'T. Pressurizing that thing takes time.

throwaway20698059 , Sue Thompson Report

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pdxpmk said:
Putting oil in pasta water.

kimblem replied:
I thought this helped it not have starchy bubbles.

WonderChode replied:
I doesn't even mix unless you put an agent that helps, like in a vinaigrette when you add mustard so it gets bubbly and well mixed.

RoRoRoYourGoat replied:
I put a few drops of oil in my water, because it breaks the surface tension and keeps the pot from bubbling over. Two drops of oil in all that water won't stop the sauce from sticking. It just sits on top and drains off with the water.

pdxpmk , Melissa Wiese Report

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cleansleight said:
Anything from 5-minute crafts, SoYummy, or any content farm in general.

LeakyLycanthrope replied:
To anyone wondering: I direct you to the YouTube channel How to Cook That to explain why.

tl;dw Not a goddamn one of them works or even could work, and many are actually dangerous. Plus all kinds of shady practices to work The Algorithm in their favor.

cleansleight , 5-Minute Crafts DIY Report

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Authenticity. We are creative resourceful humans we borrow ideas techniques and ingredients from everyone and everywhere. It's beautiful and delicious fusion cuisine is not mutated bastardization. Acting like there is one recipe and one proper way of doing something is just snobbery and pride. "This dish is authentic" Oh yeah to who to what region to what time period? To what house or what kitchen? Your grandma's? your state region province town culture or country?

I am not claiming there isn't creativity or a first edition recipe as originally created. But recipes like art do not occur out some virgin birth in a isolated glass dome.

People look at food like currency and see it as either real or a phoney counterfeit. Either it's the fifteenth century version written by the originator or it's worthless. Penalty for counterfeiting isn't jail it's being told you are an insult to ancestors or worse a colonizer of culture and identity.

People who use authenticity like a weapon view cooking a plate of food like dog breeding repetitively inbreeding the same thing over and over again losing the original intention behind a new breed until it's so pointless and sickly is basically useless unless for show. It stagnates it dies.

SternLecture , USAG- Humphreys Report

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Then_Restaurant_4141 said:
That an air fryer isn’t just a small convection oven.

T[a]tsAndWhiskey replied:
Huh. So that’s why my funnel cake turned out weird…

freedfg replied:
THANK YOU!

Everyone tells me "OH you gotta get an air fryer"

It's a convection oven. The only difference is the amount of energy it uses. But people treat it like it's this magic box that they make f!@#$%g everything in.

Sparcrypt replied:
They are super cool though.

I love mine because it’s so fast. Like if I’m cooking some chicken or steak and it’s a touch too thick to cook fully before burning? I don’t need to have preheated my oven 30 minutes ago, I just pop it in the air fryer for a few minutes and we’re done.

But yes they are 100% just a small countertop oven. It’s just that having a small countertop oven is SO GREAT.

Then_Restaurant_4141 , HS You Report

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That cold water boils faster.

Um no it doesn't.

Put a lid on it to make your cold water boil faster.

Much-data-wow , Scott Akerman Report

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HaddockBranzini-II said:
That kale doesn't taste like shrubbery.

NeverSawOz replied:
It doesn't. It should have a sweet-bitter flavor. But the age-old trick is to put it in the freezer for a few days first, that activates the sugar. In the Netherlands we have a saying that kale should not be harvested until two good nights of frost. Delicious winter food with mashed potatoes and smoked sausage.

ModConMom replied:
I might be outing myself, but it sounds like you've never tasted shrubbery.

HaddockBranzini-II , John Lodder Report

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The belief that olive oil is the best oil ever and should be used in every dish no matter the cooking method or temperature.

Ugh

I'm apparently "over sensitive*" to the taste of overcooked olive oil (and other low-smoke-point oils). I can always tell if something was cooked at a high temp in olive oil. It's gross.

*my sister's words

number1auntie , Daniella Segura Report

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ProGuardian13 said:
Internet recipes that call for like a quarter teaspoon of salt in a crockpot full of chili.

listen-to-my-face replied:
My mother in law’s spaghetti recipe calls for half a clove of garlic.

Half. Of a clove.

It’s maddening.

jellycrash69 replied:
Who uses half a clove of garlic for anything??? What're you gonna do with the other half? Just put the whole damn thing in.

ProGuardian13 , markni123 Report

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pmags3000 said:
All Grandma's are good cooks. Mine sucked so bad she couldn't cook noodles. My great grandma, however... hot damn.

pjabrony replied:
My maternal grandmother was a terrible cook, of the "boil everything until it chews itself" school.

banjo_fandango replied:
My Grandma was a terrible chain smoker, and was very lax about tipping her ash. Some of my earliest memories are of sitting on the countertop, watching my grandma stirring the bolognese sauce, the end of her fag getting longer and longer until the ash dropped in the pan.

Bolognese & ash sauce was actually the nicest thing she made. She was a dreadful cook.

pmags3000 , spader Report

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phrendo said:
Washing chicken.

congratulations_dude replied:
Why would you wash chicken? Pat it dry I get. Trim up the fatty bits sure but like wash it?

fishydogs replied:
In some parts of the world, store/market bought chicken/meat can actually benefit from being washed. This generally isn't the case in western countries.

I try not to judge how people do it due to this, but it's good to know the risks of washing chicken/meat (spreading salmonella/bacteria in your kitchen).

oby100 replied:
From what I hear, those parts of the world wash chicken because the chicken was sloppily butchered and will still have feathers and crap on it. I would be inclined to wash chicken if there was all kinds of inedible bits hanging on to it.

phrendo , Chuck Falzone Report

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A hard lesson that myself and others have faced: taste as you go. Taste constantly. Never assume you know what the food tastes like. Taste!

randompersonfifteen , Sue Thompson Report

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woodgie2 said:
That alcohol in food all ‘cooks off’ or evaporates. It doesn’t. Please bear this in mind when cooking for addicts in recovery or people with other dietary or religious restrictions.

Source (among others): USDA Table of Nutrient Rentention Factors, Release 6, page 12

Kryddersild replied:
Doesn't this paper only show alcohol retention when stirred into a liquid volume, though? I imagine a deglaze allows for much faster evaporation.

ErnieAdamsistheKey replied:
Yes, a deglaze is different.

Nikiaf replied:
Adam Ragusea did a video on this at some point. Essentially unless you’re cooking something for a really long time, you won’t “cook off” the alcohol, and even then a percentage of it will remain. For most people this doesn’t matter, but if you have addiction issues or potentially adverse reactions to it, it’s important to remember that it won’t boil off in a couple minutes.

woodgie2 , Anders Sandberg Report

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The idea that there's a correct way to cook. Like, there are wrong ways to cook, but if you like putting apples on pizza or whatever, you aren't enjoying food wrong.

classy-face258 Report

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CR7_Bale_Lovechild said:
That dry pasta is somehow inferior to fresh pasta. They both have a time and a place.

MaxWannequin replied:
A friend of mine would balk at the idea of making her own mayonnaise or other quick to make dressings and instead buy bottled ones, saying it would take so much time, but she then spends hours making homemade pasta or wontons, which are not comparatively better than any decent quality ones you can buy in the store.

CR7_Bale_Lovechild , Guy Renard Report

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Salt and pepper should only be put on steak. Get you some good salt free Cajun, great steak seasoning (or let's be real, Montreal steak), onion garlic, let that rest for 30 minutes, sear it, let it rest. How my grandma does it and ooh is it homely.

Sugar and cornbread. They can go together, but I do recommend honey over sugar. In the batter or not. Maple syrup too!

Also that some foods have to be eaten how it is eaten where it's from. I am all for respecting culture, but if I wanna eat sushi with a fork a my house then let me be. Just sometimes its easier to eat something with a fork than chopsticks or my hands 🤷‍♂️

Diligent_Jury_9956 , Carol VanHook Report

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Number 1: that one where people say adding a raw potato to an over-salted dish will fix it by "drawing the salt out". Potatoes may absorb some minuscule amount of the salted water but they aren't some kind of magic salt-absorbing sponges.

Number 2: searing meat "seals in the juices" - nope, it gives it a tasty crust, that's all

And Number 3 would be that old chestnut that you can keep guacamole from turning brown by adding the pit to the dish. No, just no

feliciates , fox-and-fern Report

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12dogs4me said:
[It's a myth that] margarine is a substitute for butter.

NatAttack3000 replied:
Well it is... It's not a very good one, but it is also a fat.

AsherGray replied:
A lot of transfat.

UndercoverFBIAgent9 replied:
Yeah, it totally is.

Sure it might not be as good, but name one lower-calorie version of an ingredient that is.

Miracle whip is a substitute for mayo.

Turkey bacon is a substitute for pork bacon.

Skim milk is a substitute for 2%, which is a substitute for whole, which is a substitute for cream.

It’s not as good because it has half the fat. Fat adds flavor but also has the unfortunate side effect of making your pants smaller.

12dogs4me , Andrew Filer Report

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speakajackn said:
"Uncured" meat products. It's still using a form of nitrites to convert to nitrates to create a longer life span of the food. If it was uncured it would turn grey, not bright ass red.

THElaytox replied:
Yup, "nitrate free" cured meats usually contain large amounts of "celery salt" which is just a source of nitrates. If you buy "nitrate free" bacon I can almost guarantee celery salt is on the ingredient list.

speakajackn , Sara Report

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