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Being online comes with the ever present risk of being exposed to some of the hottest, dumbest and most brain-melting takes of all time. But every now and then, a hero arrives and hits them with the most savage roasts out there. 

The “Conservatives Getting Owned” X page is dedicated to screenshots of bigots, conspiracy theorists and fringe economists being publicly humiliated. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments sections below. Remember, be nice!

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    #2

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Billie Piper must be so embarrassed she married this man. He is an awful human being. Good of her to divorce this pillock.

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    #3

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    Annik Perrot
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give money to à poor person, and it goes right back into the local economy. Give it to à rich person and it will end up on a numbered account somewhere in Switzerland or the Bahamas.

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    The “Conservatives Getting Owned” X page has been around for a while now (since that auspicious year of 2020), and has accumulated an impressive 356 thousand followers. In this day and age, most of us know not to pick fights online. After all, there is no “winning” , just a battle to logging off in the mud.

    This is perhaps why this page succeeds, as it does a vital job of showcasing the times where folks with questionable ideas had those same ideas obliterated by words. The idea of a person deciding to “report a crime” online no doubt came from pages like this. If that’s not enough, remember, there are all sorts of cases of people owning themselves

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    #5

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    flower petals
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *flower petals, giggling jokingly*: You’d better run, folks, my autism is contagious and I’m having a bad day today.. Run, run for your lives! 😆😂

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    #6

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, let's elect people to give us gun rights over those that give us health care rights. Then when there is no health care we will have enough guns to hijack planes to places with health care.

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    #8

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny thing is trucks have any number of practical purposes and uses other than causing death. How many uses does a gun have?

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    #10

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As soon as I hear someone whining about someone else wearing a mask I just feel this intense exhaustion come over me 🙄

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    #11

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    May
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These weirdos believe feminism is about being a hateful pink haired woman spitting on men all day long on social media. While it comes from the Western white culture they cherish so much.

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    #13

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    Guess Undheit
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The current pope gave "absolution" (excusing their crimes) to members of the fascist Argentine government and military after throwing people out of helicopters into the Atlantic Ocean, the "death flights". Throwing out political dissidents while alive and awake into the ocean. From a thousand metres in the air. And he went along with it.

    A B C the Fourth (QUIT CENSORING BP)
    Community Member
    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's a classic. If they survive, they are witches who need to report back for their burning. /edit: this account has been banned from commenting because some special snowflakes have apparently felt offended by me using bad, bad words. The new ABC the Fifth has to "be approved by BP before commenting", which it probably won't ever be, so... see y'all folks, it was fun with you while it lasted. If you want to honour my retirement, report every post with stupid and useless censoring. See ya in another life or on another, less detached platform.

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    beccabootie
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never heard of Bill Burr before last year and now I think he is the best.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG his SNL monologue which made some people try to cancel him (failed) was hilarious! The first time he went viral was at a comedy festival in Philadelphia where the crowd got really drunk and abusive to the other comedians. He hurled abuse on the crowd for 15 minutes.

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    The Darkest Timeline
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bill Burr will rip into anyone, no matter what “side” they’re on. Doesn’t mean he’s always right but at least he’s equal opportunity.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps if the Catholic Church kept it in their pants and didn't protect the ones who didn't, they wouldn't be the butt of so many jokes. They're lucky it's just jokes given how gun-crazy Americans are.

    kath morgan
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Making fun of an institution with the cultural reach, power and wealth of the Catholic Church is always acceptable.

    María Hermida
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Making fun of an institution which killed millions, or caused millions to be killed in religion wars and persecutions, looted property, threatened and bullied people for two thousand years, and abused thousands of children all over the world and never ever apologised for it, is not only "fun", but necessary. The other option is to apply their own medicine, you know, "an eye for an eye", but that wouldn't be civilised.

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    Glenn Cuneo
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wadda call it when the pope has a bowel movement? A Holy S**t. Here, hold this gold cross when I tell people they must sacrifice to feed the poor.....

    Jerome Lenovo
    Community Member
    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you seem like a republikkkan, please take our side here ........ nope. Well done Bill. 3:)

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    #14

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #19

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    Hphizzle
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooo snap! Yeah she’s gonna need some ice for that solid 3rd degree burn.

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    #21

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    Passerby
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I checked. He really is the president. He has a PhD in genetics. Very impressive.

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    #23

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it. Ignorance is not something to be proud of.

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    #24

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Racists really are hard of thinking. Just like the homophobes, the sexists and the transphobes.

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    #27

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    Beck
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean saying “we wouldn’t be here today if people didn’t do what they did yesterday” makes sense in literally any scenario. Insinuating that these current circumstances are the best things could ever possibly be and past human cruelties were inevitable is kind of weird and very unfair to those who suffered.

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    #28

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “My wife who has an important job caring for other humans during medical issues did all the work caring for OUR child all night then went to work the next day exhausted because I didn’t help” great job buddy

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    #30

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is literally your life-saving private taxi directly to the hospital 😂

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    #31

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is important to teach children about flaws made in the past, even if they have to do with the founding of your own country. Trying to cover any old wrongdoings up so you can maintain the dignity of the country is kind of….Soviet sounding honestly, sorry 🤷‍♀️

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    #32

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    james stevenson
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It IS true however that communism the idea is fair and good. But as soon as humans are introduced into the mix, thing turn to s**t pretty quickly.

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    #34

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    #36

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    Bec
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, I should be saving all of my money at their rate of . 01% - I'm not being facetious, I just looked that up

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    #38

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    flower petals
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dinesh..? How much do you know about lunatic asylums..? And how exactly did you find out..? Asking for a friend.

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    #39

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BP, the oil company not this site, supposedly was behind the idea of the carbon footprint, to shift attention away from them and to shift the guilt of environmental damage into us all as individuals.

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    #42

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    flower petals
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine being so fragile that your have a hissy fit over what it says on some coffee cup..

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    #45

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    james stevenson
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They will probably pull "a politician" and drown out anything he says with incomprehensible noise

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    #46

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those microchips are magnetic. When I was vaccinated I ended up stuck to the refrigerator for three days.

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    #48

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    Beck
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “I guarantee you a person that dies of covid is counted as a covid death by the left” like obviously, are you daft 💀

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    #51

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People fear what they can't understand. In this case that is a college educated, well spoken, self validated woman that had to pay her own way the hard way.

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    #53

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    OmMi
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well I also figured it out the hard way but at least I was able to figure it out and leave that toxic environment.

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    #55

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The lack of education yet blind confidence in making hateful remarks these days is so concerning

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    #57

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you look up “facepalm” in the dictionary, this post is listed as one of the examples /s

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    #58

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not understand Blair White, she is transgender but basically spends all her time s******g on other transgender people?

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    #59

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Elon Musk, at one point we had hope for him, he seemed to be a visionary, a saviour, but then we saw him for who he really is, a dingleberry.

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    #61

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If your business can't pay people enough to stay alive, then you don't have a viable business. Stop complaining about the free market.

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    #63

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    Dick Fint
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Disabled vet here also. A bit over a decade total service. Refused a medical discharge because I didn't want to give any company an excuse not to hire me. After 20 years, leg started to act up, causing me to lose my balance & fall multiple times, finally damaging my right hand beyond use. Civvy St doc said it was droop foot from the metal plate used to repair my leg. VA said I had arthritis & drank too much, the drink was causing the falls. Went without housing for seven years, waited 13 years for the brace. In my 60's now, DAV finally got the VA sorted. No wife anymore, no credit, housing area full of idiots, (not thru VA!) Life sucks. DO NOT JOIN THE MILITARY. Even if it don't kill you, it will ruin your life. And the US is no longer worth it.

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    #66

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bezos gets Billions in passive income he uses to buy opportunities to exploit laborers for more passive income, but we get upset at the guy denied opportunity to be an exploited laborer getting 600 in passive income he uses to not die.

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    #68

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    Beck
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s like just seeing the word Muslim throws some people into a rage

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    #69

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    Gustav Gallifrey
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A couple of years ago, someone from the US was warning, on the internet, that a rise in US minimum wages would send the prices of e.g. fast-food hamburgers to the region of $30-$35 ea. I was able to provide evidence that, in Australia, where such wages were significantly higher than in almost all of the US, the same burgers were actually LESS expensive than concurrent prices in the US. And, yes, the exchange rate was taken into account.

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    #70

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    greenideas
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    8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lived through communism and wish people would stop glorifying it. People who disagreed with the system simply disappeared in the night or were beaten to death by militia, hunger was rife, nepotism and corruption ruled. Nothing triggers me more than seeing people raised in all the comforts of democracy acting as if communism is the answer to all the world's problems.

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    #72

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Masculine and feminine are cultural norms that vary from society to society across the world and throughout history.

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    #73

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sex is a natural human function. Racism is an unnatural inhuman disfunction.

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    #74

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did people forget that Trump released the 5,000 Taliban members who led the Afghanistan takeover?

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    #75

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're the one that is making two of everything and yelling when people use the wrong one.

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    #76

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    michael Chock
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    8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conservatives are so dirty, they are always asking what's under the clothing, what's happening in the bedroom, who is doing who, who's a virgin, has your sex been approved with a religious ceremony, bunch of sex obsessed pervs.

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