This is the third in the “Confessions From Boarding School” posts. Due to concerns surrounding privacy, certain names have been changed to protect the identities of the people involved. This post will not be as ‘racy’ as my previous posts as this will involve no nooky of any kind. As with every school, there are those on the staff that are good and you get along with, and there are also those teachers that take pleasure in making the lives of the students a misery; this post is about one such teacher I had at boarding school; Mrs Eardirt. This particular teacher must either have hated kids or was just plain off her fucking nut. She taught the younger kids and also taught the ‘Health Education’ or ‘Sex Ed’ as it is sometimes known.

She also ran the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Scheme at our school, and she ran that like it was her own personal militia. Mrs. Eardirt tried to get every kid in school to sign up for the DoE, and when someone didn’t she took it as an insult; which is where the story begins. She had been trying to get Matthew, Li and myself to sign up for the DoE but we had constantly told her that we wanted nothing to do with the DoE; but she seemingly ignored our protests. On the morning in question, she told us we had to go to her class as there was a DoE presentation, despite us telling her we wanted nothing to do with it, she told us to do as we were told and get into the classroom.

After the presentation was over, we tried to leave but Mrs. Eardirt told us that after being in the class for the presentation, she expected us to sign up for the DoE, handing us forms which to do so. When we refused to sign up, she was furious. She told us that we were insulting her, everyone in the class and the entire DoE. She said we were throwing away “a huge opportunity” and that we had to do what everyone else was doing and join the DoE. We simply slid the sign up sheet back over to her and said that we would not be taking part, to which she said she’d put our names down on the sheet and we’d have no choice but to sign up. When Li told her that if she did that, we’d simply tell Mr. Grent that our names were out on the list without our consent; she was both furious and defeated at the same time.

She was furious that we had not signed up and she was defeated by the fact that if she did put our names on the list and we told Mr. Grent, she’d be proven to have forged our names. So as we got up and left class, she yelled at us that eventually we’d be in the DoE and she’d make us pay for insulting her by refusing her invatations to join. So there you have it, the story of how we dealt with an insane old fool of a teacher.