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Many people tend to applaud brutal honesty and give props to those who “keep it real.” However, delivering a harsh truth can damage relationships, especially among family members.
A woman decided to homeschool her young son, leading to undesirable results. Watching it all unfold is one of her parents, who spoke to her with utmost candor about her seeming lack of proper parenting decisions.
Tensions rose as the woman demanded an apology. However, the grandparent refused, believing the criticisms were warranted. Scroll down for the full story.
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Some people think being brutally honest is the best way to go
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
This grandparent called their daughter a “bad mother” for homeschooling their grandson
Image credits: Teona Swift (not the actual photo)
The author refused to apologize for their actions
Image source: Worried-Range1133
Brutal honesty isn’t always necessary when getting our point across
Image credits: Photo By: Kaboompics.com (not the actual photo)
Many people may laud the author for her “brutal” honesty, a trait that gets a fair amount of praise. However, it isn’t always necessary, especially if you want the other person to hear what you’re trying to say.
As licensed psychologist and speaker Dr. Jonice Webb points out in an article for Psychology Today, a “straight-shooter” may also lack awareness of the harm their words can cause the other person. The receiver may react by being defensive or ignoring the message altogether.
People proud of their brutal candor may say, “No offense, but…” It may be a way for them to excuse their potentially rude behavior by masking it with “honesty.” According to Dr. Webb, it’s a form of gaslighting.
“That is a twist that’s confusing and unfair,” she stated.
That’s why experts like neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez consider brutal honesty a red flag in relationships. Apart from the potentially hurtful words thrown around, it can create an unequal dynamic that could damage the receiver’s self-esteem.
“There is no healthy way to sustain a relationship where one partner is held in such high esteem compared to the other,” Dr. Hafeez told Well & Good.
You can be truthful without being hurtful
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
It could be possible that the author and their daughter have underlying issues that need addressing. Psychotherapist Dr. Ilene Cohen wrote in an article for Psychology Today that it begins by being true to ourselves.
“It’s hard to be authentic in our significant relationships if we haven’t dealt with our own stuff and communicated honestly about it,” Dr. Cohen stated.
But all problems aside, it always helps to communicate without causing hurt and tension. Choosing kindness instead of giving in to ill feelings at the moment may save the relationship from unwanted strain.
“It isn’t easy to apply this strategy when we’re angry or hurt, but our relationships will give us plenty of opportunities to practice,” Dr. Cohen wrote.
The author’s concern about their grandson’s academic performance and frustration with their daughter’s parenting decisions are understandable. However, telling their child she’s a bad mother didn’t help. If anything, it only worsened the problem.
They could have given constructive criticism, perhaps drawing from their experiences. Their daughter could have listened and even taken any advice they may have given.
What do you think, readers? Was the author within reason with their actions? Or could they have done away with their “brutal honesty”?
The author provided more information by answering commenters’ questions
Many readers showed their support for the grandparent’s actions
While some disagreed and asked questions
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What do you think ?
Max Fox 1 month ago
The YTA are, as usual, batshit crazy, or jumping to conclusions + abysmally ignorant.
Stacy s 1 month ago
So - the mother is gone to work with a full-time job - she is not HOME, yet is home schooling her son, who can't do any simple tasks his child his age can do. She sounds like a nut job, and the father needs to put his foot down for the sake of his kid. Grandma can call her out, but has no authority to change anything.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 month ago
John Oliver did a really informative piece on homeschooling recently. It was eye-opening and absolutely horrifying. There is virtually NO regulations for the parents and NO follow-up by authorities to verify whether or not the child is learning. Additionally, abusive parents can pull their kids out and claim "homeschooling", when in reality they are just using that as an excuse to abuse and torture their kids without interference from school officials, who are often the last line of defense for these kids.
RP 1 month ago
In Australian there is technically now an oversight board but as it is a small community which is invested in its own continued existence, nothing actually gets picked up or reported (at least that was my experience - it might have improved).
Load More Replies... Max Fox 1 month ago
The YTA are, as usual, batshit crazy, or jumping to conclusions + abysmally ignorant.
Stacy s 1 month ago
So - the mother is gone to work with a full-time job - she is not HOME, yet is home schooling her son, who can't do any simple tasks his child his age can do. She sounds like a nut job, and the father needs to put his foot down for the sake of his kid. Grandma can call her out, but has no authority to change anything.
LonelyLittleLeafSheep 1 month ago
John Oliver did a really informative piece on homeschooling recently. It was eye-opening and absolutely horrifying. There is virtually NO regulations for the parents and NO follow-up by authorities to verify whether or not the child is learning. Additionally, abusive parents can pull their kids out and claim "homeschooling", when in reality they are just using that as an excuse to abuse and torture their kids without interference from school officials, who are often the last line of defense for these kids.
RP 1 month ago
In Australian there is technically now an oversight board but as it is a small community which is invested in its own continued existence, nothing actually gets picked up or reported (at least that was my experience - it might have improved).
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