Oregano, I don't know why he's baking up there.

When I was 10 my mom found a piece of paper with two columns. One column header read "Bush" and the other read "Gore" and underneath each column was a list of every swear word imaginable (at least every one I knew). E.g. Bush would say "you lying sack of s**t" and Gore would respond "go to hell you bastard." There was a little drawing of each of them looking angry at the bottom of the page.

Shortly after my son learned to write his name I found it written on his wall with poop. He denied it.

My cousin's parents found a full package of unopened bacon under his bed. He wanted it all for himself.

I can't blame his reasoning, but the execution was a bit sloppy.

A hamster.

We never bought them one.

Turns out, a neighbor's hamster got in the house.

My coworker once found a ziplock bag full of hairs, all sorts of colours and length, in one of the new kid's room (we work in a rehab for teens). Kid says its his collection of girls hair for when he does his voodoo rituals.