I don’t know if I’d go as far as “red flag”, but people who have zero books in their home give me pause.

Self love/learning how to love yourself.

Lots of people think it's just going to a restaurant/ the movies by yourself, or "treating yourself".

It can mean recognizing people in your life who are harming you and cutting them off which can be painful. It can mean identifying your own flaws and doing what is necessary to fix/accommodate them (weight loss, mental health stuff, etc). Not all roses and sunshine.

Pulling yourself out of poverty. I assure you that zero poor people can just stop being lazy and be in the middle class in a matter of weeks, let alone years. The number of societal barriers to class mobility are astounding and the people with the most lectures about bootstraps are the ones most incentivized to pretend those barriers don't exist.

Insomnia. Sleep deprivation takes a toll on your health, and no, you won’t be writing poems and drinking coffee at night when having no sleep. You’ll be suffering.

Marriage.

Combat. Wish and hope you never have to experience it.

Moving abroad.

Living in Japan as a foreigner. There's a certain subset of people that really romanticize Japan and Japanese culture as highly advanced technologically and socially. It's not that Japan is actually particularly a bad place to live. But they still utilize antiquated technology, have dated social mores and brutal work-life "balance", and are quite xenophobic and openly turn away foreigners from many services (even medical care). It's not some anime utopia where everything is perfect. It's quite a challenging place to live for foreigners. It seems Japan welcomes the visitor but does not always welcome the immigrant.

Turning something you love into a business.

Often, instead of "I turned my passion into money!" It's "I turned something I love into work."

I am currently scaling back my photography business because I don't love photography like I used to. It's work now.