September 11th, 2001. I used to work at the Pentagon until that spring, and I lost friends in the attack. Another one of my friends lost his whole family on one of the planes, and he unalived himself a few weeks later. It did make me want revenge sure, but that emotion passes quickly. But what it really did was cement in me the reality that none of us are here for long, and whatever your plans are, you should focus on the present and on the people in your life. If you have something to say to your loved ones, say it now. You may not get the chance to tomorrow. To this day, I tell my children I love them every night. I call my parents just to chat, because who knows if that will be the last time.

I had a heart attack New Year’s Eve weekend. 4 years ago exactly. In middle of pandemic. Bad family history on both sides. Very sobering experience. I am slim fit athletic non-drinker never smoked. It happens. F76

when i first watched jaiden animations video "being not straight". at the time, I was a bit of a homophobe, mainly because of my mom. after watching it, 13 year old me was like "..was I wrong? why was I so hateful? they did nothing wrong!" and over time I started to look more into LGBT, and when I was about 14, I figured out that I was demisexual, demiromantic, and trans demiboy(I also started to use the pronouns he/they/it). and when I was 15 I figured out that I was also gay and frayplatonic.

I'm so glad my best friend showed me Jaiden animations, otherwise I would probably still be a homophobic piece of $hit

30 October 2015. I was planning to go in a club for a rock concert, but I was overworked and exhausted. I gave up and went to sleep. Next morning I found out that a terrible fire had broken out in the club. About 300 people were trapped inside, as only one exit was available: no fire extinguishers, no sprinklers, no escape. 65 people died in total and more than 100 had severe burns. It was a national tragedy.

It totally changed my view and attitude toward safety measures, selfcare and life in general. Now I avoid going to places that I know to be unsafe (very old, unrestored buildings). I check for emergency exits & extinguishers; I usually choose a seat at the end of the row. I signed up for a Red Cross course to refresh my knowledge on first aid. I started going to gym regularly, changed my diet and lost weight.

And in general, I try to enjoy the moment, because "now" is all we have.

Life is a miracle... but in a few seconds, everything can be lost.

For better and worse. Having my heart broken. After my long time girlfriend broke up with me I went into a deep depression during which I became addicted to d***s and alcohol in an attempt to dull the pain. When it didnt work anymore I decided to quit. Then I went back to school finished 2 associates degrees as an A student and went on to get a bachelors degree while getting into the best shape of my life. 10 years into my career I'm no longer in great shape but I have the income to travel and enjoy my hobbies.

My friend (I will call him X) recently told me his feelings about me were more than just as a friend, it was that he was attracted to me and asked if I would be his SO. At that moment, I knew that most people would feel romantic attraction towards someone who liked them, I guess (everyone is different) but it was like I was behind a wall. I didn't feel a THING. It's not unusual for me. I experience alexethymia, which means I can't express, or in my case, even really feel emotions very strongly. Sometimes I don't feel them at all. The bluntness of his question really got me thinking, "Will I ever find an SO one day if I can't feel romantic love?". I think I may find love if I want to, someday, but it's kind of sad to think that I'll struggle hard to do that. Could I try to love an SO back? Would we both be hurt by the fact I can't feel love and just feel this empty gloom?

Epilogue: I told X I wanted to be just friends. We still are

Easily better than them

My father set on fire by him pouring hand sanitizer of my back after lifting my vest and pinning me to the ground set it on fire, it burned for several seconds, my vest slided back down burnt as well, melted onto my skin plastic(?) zipper included and fused with it!. I kept from screaming the whole time because he told me to, or else.

My back melted off and was oozing, I couldn't see properly it was my back, thankfully he left this evening to go fetch/take my grandparents from/to the airport so I could take care of it a little (I.E. let it in the air instead of putting a shirt over it to hide it. I don't know if it was second or third burn as I couldn't go to the hospital as people coudn't learn about it.

Hurt for several weeks, I couldn't lie on my back or sides bend or hunch, having a chill hurt extremely, having a shower would make my back worse, the rubber elastics of my panties and bra were pushing on the scar/healing hard and hurt, my shirt would constantly brush against it. I didn't see it but I felt it with my hand when I tried to fix it when it happened and think one of my vertebrae bone was bare, and leaking black(?) I thinnk it got infected because there is a bump at one spot..

that's one example

So considering I have to actual will to be a good parent if one day I can that's makes it better, just that only.

I guess I'll go first then. The fact that I have ideations almost constantly. While my wife knows that I was diagnosed with depression & anxiety before leaving the military, I would never let her or my children know that these thoughts happen more than a few times a day. Don't have the time or money to go get seen, and the VA won't even entertain my claim since I haven't been going to be seen, so I live with it and this is the first time I've actually mentioned it to anyone.

I love cats and would love to be a cat. I play the Alto Sax and I'm the best in the band. I have 5+ crushes and spend half the time at school staring at cute boys. I'm a complete introvert and will usually ignore calls just because I hate talking to people.