Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Join the Fun!
Join 1.2 million Panda readers who get the best art, memes, and fun stories every week!
Thank you!
You're on the list! Expect to receive your first email very soon!
Bored Panda is Even Better on the App!
Stay Updated with Real-Time Notifications
Instant Access via Homescreen Tap
Simple Interface - Even Your Cat Can Use It!
Patrick Schussler
Community Member
1 posts
12 comments
9 upvotes
26 points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Patrick Schussler • upvoted 8 items 2 years ago
Chiliad9 reply
I take my cat to a vet who also has 100 cats living at the clinic. Some of them are just unsociable, some are blind or have other horrible handicaps, and the clinic is basically hospice care for still others. Long story short, the doctor and her staff and volunteers are all saints. Unfortunately, word has gotten out and some people now think of the clinic as "the place where you can dump unwanted cats." Which they really can't. It's already at capacity. Anyhow, I'm waiting there one day for a routine checkup and this Kardashian-looking woman, covered with jewelry and expensive clothes, walks in with a perfectly healthy-looking cat. She tells the woman behind the counter, "I'm leaving town, I can't take the cat, so I'm donating it to you guys." The employee explains that no, that's not a sweater in your hands and this isn't Goodwill. It doesn't work that way. Oblivious to her surroundings - there are maybe a dozen people there, between patient parents and staff - the visiting woman isn't even making an effort to talk discreetly. After being refused, she says fine, if you don't take the cat, I'm just going to dump it on the street. She has a brief staredown with the woman behind the counter, maybe assuming that she can guilt the clinic into taking her cat, then walks away. Another customer - a big beefy guy - who's been watching this, intercepts the woman before she can get to the door. And proceeds to say something so vivid, I wish I could repeat it verbatim but I can paraphrase it with some highlights. "Lady, you want to dump the cat? Fine. I'm going to give you what you want. I'll take your cat." "But the price is that I'm going to berate you in front of everyone here, you useless f*****g c**t. You're so goddamned selfish you won't even cough up 69¢ a day for a can of Friskies? F**k you, you f*****g wh**e. You don't f*****g deserve the generosity of the people who work here. You want to f*****g blackmail them into preventing a cat murder? You disgust me. If it wasn't for that gold-plated pussy dripping between your legs, I'd punch you in the orbital sockets until your eyes bleed. Now get the f**k out of my sight before I decide that it'd be worth a battery charge to do it anyway. F**k you." This was R. Lee Ermey-level s**t. By now, the doctor herself has shown up. She doesn't know exactly what's happening, but it's gotten pretty loud. Obviously she doesn't like people swearing at other people in her waiting room, it's bad for business. The guy says to her, "Look, you're probably used to it, but I get angry when I see people who mistreat animals."
Hey Pandas, What Is The Angriest You Have Ever Been At A Book? (Possible Spoiler Alert!)
I don't remember the name of the book series but it was a Sci Fi trilogy that ended in the protagonist and her love interest sacrificing their lives to save everyone else. Really unexpected and powerful for a YA book, but if course the epilogue had to ruin everything! Turns out the aliens were advanced enough to bring back the dead or something. They were given a second chance for their heroism. Ugh!! Then why have them make that sacrifice if it's ultimately undone!? It makes it seem trivial! I was so annoyed. They could have saved the world some other way in that case lolChiliad9 reply
I take my cat to a vet who also has 100 cats living at the clinic. Some of them are just unsociable, some are blind or have other horrible handicaps, and the clinic is basically hospice care for still others. Long story short, the doctor and her staff and volunteers are all saints. Unfortunately, word has gotten out and some people now think of the clinic as "the place where you can dump unwanted cats." Which they really can't. It's already at capacity. Anyhow, I'm waiting there one day for a routine checkup and this Kardashian-looking woman, covered with jewelry and expensive clothes, walks in with a perfectly healthy-looking cat. She tells the woman behind the counter, "I'm leaving town, I can't take the cat, so I'm donating it to you guys." The employee explains that no, that's not a sweater in your hands and this isn't Goodwill. It doesn't work that way. Oblivious to her surroundings - there are maybe a dozen people there, between patient parents and staff - the visiting woman isn't even making an effort to talk discreetly. After being refused, she says fine, if you don't take the cat, I'm just going to dump it on the street. She has a brief staredown with the woman behind the counter, maybe assuming that she can guilt the clinic into taking her cat, then walks away. Another customer - a big beefy guy - who's been watching this, intercepts the woman before she can get to the door. And proceeds to say something so vivid, I wish I could repeat it verbatim but I can paraphrase it with some highlights. "Lady, you want to dump the cat? Fine. I'm going to give you what you want. I'll take your cat." "But the price is that I'm going to berate you in front of everyone here, you useless f*****g c**t. You're so goddamned selfish you won't even cough up 69¢ a day for a can of Friskies? F**k you, you f*****g wh**e. You don't f*****g deserve the generosity of the people who work here. You want to f*****g blackmail them into preventing a cat murder? You disgust me. If it wasn't for that gold-plated pussy dripping between your legs, I'd punch you in the orbital sockets until your eyes bleed. Now get the f**k out of my sight before I decide that it'd be worth a battery charge to do it anyway. F**k you." This was R. Lee Ermey-level s**t. By now, the doctor herself has shown up. She doesn't know exactly what's happening, but it's gotten pretty loud. Obviously she doesn't like people swearing at other people in her waiting room, it's bad for business. The guy says to her, "Look, you're probably used to it, but I get angry when I see people who mistreat animals."Hey Pandas, What Is The Angriest You Have Ever Been At A Book? (Possible Spoiler Alert!)
I don't remember the name of the book series but it was a Sci Fi trilogy that ended in the protagonist and her love interest sacrificing their lives to save everyone else. Really unexpected and powerful for a YA book, but if course the epilogue had to ruin everything! Turns out the aliens were advanced enough to bring back the dead or something. They were given a second chance for their heroism. Ugh!! Then why have them make that sacrifice if it's ultimately undone!? It makes it seem trivial! I was so annoyed. They could have saved the world some other way in that case lolHey Pandas, What Is Your Super Power?
I am excellent at disappearing into large crowds. Even though I am 6'3" if I don't want to be found I won't be. My family and friends always complain when I go off somewhere else and they can't see me. I also can change into a wild variety of colors.
Show All 8 Upvotes
Patrick Schussler • commented on 12 posts 2 years ago
Show All 12 Comments
Patrick Schussler • submitted 2 list additions 2 years ago
Patrick Schussler • submitted a new post 2 years ago
Patrick Schussler • upvoted an item 3 years ago
Patrick Schussler • submitted a new post 2 years ago
Patrick Schussler • submitted 2 list additions 2 years ago
Patrick Schussler • commented on 12 posts 2 years ago
Patrick Schussler • upvoted 9 items 2 years ago
Chiliad9 reply
I take my cat to a vet who also has 100 cats living at the clinic. Some of them are just unsociable, some are blind or have other horrible handicaps, and the clinic is basically hospice care for still others. Long story short, the doctor and her staff and volunteers are all saints. Unfortunately, word has gotten out and some people now think of the clinic as "the place where you can dump unwanted cats." Which they really can't. It's already at capacity. Anyhow, I'm waiting there one day for a routine checkup and this Kardashian-looking woman, covered with jewelry and expensive clothes, walks in with a perfectly healthy-looking cat. She tells the woman behind the counter, "I'm leaving town, I can't take the cat, so I'm donating it to you guys." The employee explains that no, that's not a sweater in your hands and this isn't Goodwill. It doesn't work that way. Oblivious to her surroundings - there are maybe a dozen people there, between patient parents and staff - the visiting woman isn't even making an effort to talk discreetly. After being refused, she says fine, if you don't take the cat, I'm just going to dump it on the street. She has a brief staredown with the woman behind the counter, maybe assuming that she can guilt the clinic into taking her cat, then walks away. Another customer - a big beefy guy - who's been watching this, intercepts the woman before she can get to the door. And proceeds to say something so vivid, I wish I could repeat it verbatim but I can paraphrase it with some highlights. "Lady, you want to dump the cat? Fine. I'm going to give you what you want. I'll take your cat." "But the price is that I'm going to berate you in front of everyone here, you useless f*****g c**t. You're so goddamned selfish you won't even cough up 69¢ a day for a can of Friskies? F**k you, you f*****g wh**e. You don't f*****g deserve the generosity of the people who work here. You want to f*****g blackmail them into preventing a cat murder? You disgust me. If it wasn't for that gold-plated pussy dripping between your legs, I'd punch you in the orbital sockets until your eyes bleed. Now get the f**k out of my sight before I decide that it'd be worth a battery charge to do it anyway. F**k you." This was R. Lee Ermey-level s**t. By now, the doctor herself has shown up. She doesn't know exactly what's happening, but it's gotten pretty loud. Obviously she doesn't like people swearing at other people in her waiting room, it's bad for business. The guy says to her, "Look, you're probably used to it, but I get angry when I see people who mistreat animals."Hey Pandas, What Is The Angriest You Have Ever Been At A Book? (Possible Spoiler Alert!)
I don't remember the name of the book series but it was a Sci Fi trilogy that ended in the protagonist and her love interest sacrificing their lives to save everyone else. Really unexpected and powerful for a YA book, but if course the epilogue had to ruin everything! Turns out the aliens were advanced enough to bring back the dead or something. They were given a second chance for their heroism. Ugh!! Then why have them make that sacrifice if it's ultimately undone!? It makes it seem trivial! I was so annoyed. They could have saved the world some other way in that case lolHey Pandas, What Is Your Super Power?
I am excellent at disappearing into large crowds. Even though I am 6'3" if I don't want to be found I won't be. My family and friends always complain when I go off somewhere else and they can't see me. I also can change into a wild variety of colors.This Panda hasn't followed anyone yet
Patrick Schussler • 1 follower
