Bored Panda

UuwiiEmergency • upvoted an item 10 months ago

ruined-weddings-stories

The wedding wasn't ruined, but we narrowly avoided a minor disaster. It wasn't a guest, but our ring bearer who dropped and lost our rings shortly before the ceremony. Thankfully the rings were found and recovered in time. We can't place too much blame on him though, since he was only an 8-year old and a Pomeranian.

UuwiiEmergency • commented on 4 posts 11 months ago

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UuwiiEmergency • submitted a new post 11 months ago

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

UuwiiEmergency • upvoted 5 items 11 months ago

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

NTA. NTA NTA NTA and just in case you didn't get it, NTA. About 10 years ago I went through a load of trauma (on top of another decade of severe mental illness), I was in a new city, and on top of that due to said illnesses I never really picked up appropriate social skills growing up (I'm autistic so I've had to consciously study how not to make people uncomfortable etc. in conversation). I was hurting, lonely, and a MESS, and most people backed the heck up when they realised. And they were right to do so. At the time I was trauma-dumping and didn't have clear boundaries - it wasn't my fault, but it was way too much for people to deal with. You *don't have the resources* to help Lisa. That doesn't make you a bad person either. I can tell you for a fact that getting entangled with her won't bring about real positive changes for her, and she will turn into an emotional black hole for you. I ended up being helped by people who DID have the resources to handle all my issues and I'm a different person now. Your priority has to be yourself and your child - and Sandra should be on board with this, too. Good luck x

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

The only thing OP can do for Lisa is be honest as kindly as possible. "I'm glad I was able to be a friend to you back when we were kids. I'm sorry you are carrying so much pain and trauma, but I can't give you the support you need. I think a therapist would be the best person to help you to work through your trauma. I truly wish you peace and healing, and all the best for the future, but I don't feel the sense of connection you do, and I'm not interested in rekindling our friendship."

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

NTA. NTA NTA NTA and just in case you didn't get it, NTA. About 10 years ago I went through a load of trauma (on top of another decade of severe mental illness), I was in a new city, and on top of that due to said illnesses I never really picked up appropriate social skills growing up (I'm autistic so I've had to consciously study how not to make people uncomfortable etc. in conversation). I was hurting, lonely, and a MESS, and most people backed the heck up when they realised. And they were right to do so. At the time I was trauma-dumping and didn't have clear boundaries - it wasn't my fault, but it was way too much for people to deal with. You *don't have the resources* to help Lisa. That doesn't make you a bad person either. I can tell you for a fact that getting entangled with her won't bring about real positive changes for her, and she will turn into an emotional black hole for you. I ended up being helped by people who DID have the resources to handle all my issues and I'm a different person now. Your priority has to be yourself and your child - and Sandra should be on board with this, too. Good luck x

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

The only thing OP can do for Lisa is be honest as kindly as possible. "I'm glad I was able to be a friend to you back when we were kids. I'm sorry you are carrying so much pain and trauma, but I can't give you the support you need. I think a therapist would be the best person to help you to work through your trauma. I truly wish you peace and healing, and all the best for the future, but I don't feel the sense of connection you do, and I'm not interested in rekindling our friendship."

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

Nah. I come here for the best of Reddit AITA. Reddit is exhausting.

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

Trust your insticts. They were correct from the beginning. It's unlikely you can help this sad person but the situation will suck the life out of you. Tell Lisa you're sorry but you and your wife are hunkering down with the baby and aren't having visitors. The kindest thing to do is to either go full in and get her the help she clearly needs, or tell her you can't reconnect because . The most obvious white lie is that your wife is uncomfortable. That's not about Lisa and spares her feelings. Or a kind version of the truth... you're introverted and with the baby you're not able to be a friend right now.There is no happy ending here. It's a matter of making the least painful exit possible. I don't understand where your wife is coming from at all, but I'm old and have seen a lot. Maybe everybody has to live through the bitter reality of getting deep into a no-win situation before they recognize what it looks like while you're still scratching the surface. Sadly, we can't save everybody. I would be pained by your wife's response to offer you up to be Lisa's friend. You need to clearly communicate with her about how this makes you feel. If she says you're overreacting that's a red flag that needs to be addressed. Partners don't push each other into situations that feel icky or make your alarm bells ring. If I were you, I would put my energy into using this as an opportunity to strengthing your marriage rather than trying to save Lisa.

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

“I do not feel comfortable with Lisa. I do not feel safe with Lisa. I do not feel safe having Lisa around our baby. I do not feel safe having Lisa in our home.” Just keep repeating this, like a mantra, to yourself and to your wife. Also, it might be time to lockdown your social media and check what your web presence is (eg What information you have about yourself on LinkedIn, Google, etc).

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UuwiiEmergency • upvoted 4 items 1 year ago

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UuwiiEmergency • commented on a post 1 year ago

50 Pointlessly Gendered Examples That Show Society Has Gone Too Far With It (New Pics)

He has a point! Please bear with me. I dont know who this guy is or whats his agenda, but might he mean that because women do most of the shopping (one of many ”invisible” works women do) thus they use roads and bridges to ruan these errands, and they may use more likely public transportation or go by walk so s****y roads and bridges makes their life little more difficult and dangerous. Hilary clinton ongelma said something like wars are more dangerous/harmful for women than men and people reacted much like sama way as you guys here. Its important to aknowledge what might lie behind these kind of statements. There is a book about this topic, Invisible women, which I higly recommend everyone to read. Cant remember the authors name, its Perez-something.

UuwiiEmergency • submitted a new post 11 months ago

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

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UuwiiEmergency • commented on 4 posts 11 months ago

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

Then there was just words like she had tried to start several sentences at once so I didn’t understand what she was trying to say. Something about broken friendship was due to simultanously happening coincidences. She said she was hoping to get it all out and start fresh. Then she wished me lovely day and added an emoji that is considered the passive-agressive smiley face. I don’t know if she does or doesn’t know the nyans about this emoji but I didn’t care to find out and am not going to answer anymore.

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

I ended up answerin to her that I felt uncomfortable about our last meeting and that even though I’m sad about her burden I can’t be the person to ease that pain. I told her about the help option that is free and all she needs to do is call them. I said I didn’t appreciate her telling about her crush especially in front of my wife. And for these reasons we shouldn’t schedule any visitings. She answered right away. She said she was sorry I felt that way. She was just trying to understand what happened back in the day and because I said I also had hard time as teenager, she tought we could talk about it. (To clarify; when we were leaving the coffee shop and the first time she started about how highschool was difficult to her, I responded that it surely was difficult to everybody and I had my own bad experiences too. This was my attempt to signal her that I understand but don’t want to talk. I should have been clearer at the time.) And

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

I used your excat words and they seem to be working. Also about the social media; I have an instagram account which I haven’t used in two years (don’t even have any pics there, just used it to get tips for my hobby) and whatsapp. If you Google my name you’d find out where I work. Few years back I asked my employer if they could not show my name on their webside but they said that its mandatory due my position.

Hey Pandas, AITA For Being Wary Of An Old Friend Who Wants To See My Baby?

I talked with my wife and explained that this discomfort is real and even tough she views Lisa harmless, to me she gives goosebumps and I want to be able to say no. Wife said she was sorry and didn’t understand how serious I was at first. Sandra has a lot of close friends from highschool and from early childhood that she still chats with daily so I’d imagine she tought I could revive my old friendships and enjoy those as much as she does about her own friends. It’s sometimes hard for her to understand that I love that my best friend lives in a different continent and we chat maybe four times a year and it’s enough for me, and I don’t have the energy nor interest to try and keep up new friendships.

UuwiiEmergency • commented on a post 1 year ago

50 Pointlessly Gendered Examples That Show Society Has Gone Too Far With It (New Pics)

He has a point! Please bear with me. I dont know who this guy is or whats his agenda, but might he mean that because women do most of the shopping (one of many ”invisible” works women do) thus they use roads and bridges to ruan these errands, and they may use more likely public transportation or go by walk so s****y roads and bridges makes their life little more difficult and dangerous. Hilary clinton ongelma said something like wars are more dangerous/harmful for women than men and people reacted much like sama way as you guys here. Its important to aknowledge what might lie behind these kind of statements. There is a book about this topic, Invisible women, which I higly recommend everyone to read. Cant remember the authors name, its Perez-something.

UuwiiEmergency • upvoted an item 10 months ago

ruined-weddings-stories

The wedding wasn't ruined, but we narrowly avoided a minor disaster. It wasn't a guest, but our ring bearer who dropped and lost our rings shortly before the ceremony. Thankfully the rings were found and recovered in time. We can't place too much blame on him though, since he was only an 8-year old and a Pomeranian.

UuwiiEmergency • upvoted 5 items 11 months ago