Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Join the Fun!
Join 1.2 million Panda readers who get the best art, memes, and fun stories every week!
Thank you!
You're on the list! Expect to receive your first email very soon!
Bored Panda is Even Better on the App!
Stay Updated with Real-Time Notifications
Instant Access via Homescreen Tap
Simple Interface - Even Your Cat Can Use It!
Kiki
Community Member
4 posts
488 comments
6K upvotes
1.5K points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Kiki • upvoted 34 items 3 years ago
Bride Wants Her Stepdaughter To Cut Her Hair For The Wedding, Is Livid When The Stepdaughter Refuses
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
Movies - “wtf was that!” Don’t bother turning lights on. Go look... Real life - my wife hears something “wtf was that! Wake up! Go check!!!!!” Turns every single light on, locks the bedroom door behind me, has 911 ready to dial. Constantly yells for me to give an update. Allows me back in the door after triple confirming my identity, using the secret password.... oh that noise? Dog farted.
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
People cough and it's always indicative of an incoming terminal illness. A phone rings and it's terrible/pertinent news. In real life people cough because there's something tickling their throat or because they swallowed something funny. You answer a phone call and Liz is trying to sell you a cheap stay in Las Vegas even though you've told that c**t to f**k off more than three times in the last month.
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
When the mother of the house has spent four hours making breakfast for the whole family with like 3832523 ingredients that cover the entire kitchen table and the dad or son or whatever walks by, grabs an apple and says they don't have time to eat because they're late for work. I'm pretty sure that person could be legally murdered in real life
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
Lead actor sits down at bar: "Get me a beer." Movie Bartender: *silently gets beer* Real-life Bartender: "What? What kind of beer? We've got 20 beers on tap and an extensive bottle list. Do you want a menu or something?"
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
I've never seen anyone apprehend criminals while causing millions and millions in damage to the city.
Birds To The Rescue
Not particularly exciting, but amusing. We briefly had a neighbor who was a complete jackass. My personal pet peeve was when he would yell at our kids to "shut up" while they were playing in the backyard. Next to his driveway was a big tree and I noticed he'd throw occasional hissy fits over the birds cr*pping on his car. One week he was out of town but his car was still in the driveway. Each day I put a heaping pile of berries (blueberries, strawberries, etc.) next to the tree. He returned home to a car absolutely COVERED in technicolor bird poop.
300+ Pound Boulder
My house is right on the corner of an area where the road turns into a T, I had issues with people cutting the corner and driving through my yard( one day someone damn near hit my dog) I went and bought a Boulder probably 300 or 400 pounds and put right on the corner. Come winter and we had a bad snowstorm. Someone was coming through in a lifted dodge and hit the Boulder going about 20 and totaled the truck. Since then though I’ve had 0 issues with people.
12 Hour Music Festival
I had a terrible work schedule and had to wake up at 2:30 to be at work by 4. My downstairs neighbors would blare loud music at all hours of the night, and I could feel the bass through my mattress. I went downstairs and politely asked them to turn it down, and they seemed to kindly agree. As soon as I got back in bed, they turned it up even louder and kept it going until about 1:30. Before I left for work at 3:30, I turned over my amplifier so the speaker was facing the floor, turned the volume up, and set my guitar on top of it. I left for my 12-hour shift, and the feedback was still screaming when I came home. The neighbors never blared their music again.
Hope The Dog Wasn’t Punished…
My wife and I had a neighbor who hated us because their family friends who went through a divorce lived there before us, and we bought the house. They were mean to my wife, parked across our driveway when she was about to go to work, threw pieces of wood over our fence, and let their dog cr*p on our lawn without picking it up. I tried talking to them a couple times and was promptly told to f-off. The husband used to brag about his lawn to everyone, so the next time it rained, I threw an entire box of bouillon cubes into their backyard and let the rain melt them into the grass. Their dog absolutely destroyed their yard looking for the smell, and I would make sure to comment on it every chance I got.
Show All 34 Upvotes
Kiki • commented on 6 posts 3 years ago
Show All 6 Comments
Kiki • submitted 4 new posts 3 years ago
Kiki • submitted 20 list additions 3 years ago
Kiki • commented on 20 posts 3 years ago
Kiki • upvoted 20 items 3 years ago
Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
People cough and it's always indicative of an incoming terminal illness. A phone rings and it's terrible/pertinent news. In real life people cough because there's something tickling their throat or because they swallowed something funny. You answer a phone call and Liz is trying to sell you a cheap stay in Las Vegas even though you've told that c**t to f**k off more than three times in the last month.Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
I've never seen anyone apprehend criminals while causing millions and millions in damage to the city.Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
Lead actor sits down at bar: "Get me a beer." Movie Bartender: *silently gets beer* Real-life Bartender: "What? What kind of beer? We've got 20 beers on tap and an extensive bottle list. Do you want a menu or something?"Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
Movies - “wtf was that!” Don’t bother turning lights on. Go look... Real life - my wife hears something “wtf was that! Wake up! Go check!!!!!” Turns every single light on, locks the bedroom door behind me, has 911 ready to dial. Constantly yells for me to give an update. Allows me back in the door after triple confirming my identity, using the secret password.... oh that noise? Dog farted.Unrealistic-Things-In-Movies
When the mother of the house has spent four hours making breakfast for the whole family with like 3832523 ingredients that cover the entire kitchen table and the dad or son or whatever walks by, grabs an apple and says they don't have time to eat because they're late for work. I'm pretty sure that person could be legally murdered in real lifeBride Wants Her Stepdaughter To Cut Her Hair For The Wedding, Is Livid When The Stepdaughter Refuses
Kiki • is following 10 people
Kiki • 79 followers
