Bored Panda

Tantantheman74 reply

When I was a young lad, I was helping my Grandpa with chores around the barn. When we cleaned up, he brought out an air compressor to blow out the dust on the floor, he would call this a "Blow job" and would say s**t like, "C'mon, Tantantheman74, let's give this barn a blowjob!" Come Monday morning, my kindergarten teacher asks me what I did on the weekend, to which I replied, "Oh, Grandpa and I did a blowjob in the barn!" My momma told me this story the other day and I am honestly not even mad at that joke, Grandpa is a clever old bastard.

35 Of The Most Accurate Capitalism Memes And Jokes That Prove We Already Live In A Dystopia

Cmagik reply

Being gay. I'm myself gay but that's hardly something I communicate about unless being specifically asked about. Yet I've met a few who center their whole life and personality around that. They have to do ,"gay thing". All their behavior, taste and enjoyment and justified by "it's a gay thing". Funny thing I've already been told something along the lines of "yeah it's pretty common among us gay people, you wouldn't know about it". I don't understand, like if I were asked to describe myself it'd go along those lines - french that grew up in Quebec Canada. - love sciences and physics, studied that. - into video games and phantasy - big on family values n stuff - I like languages, learned Japanese and German (although German is quite rusty now) - my favorite food are sushi pizza and french sausage. - I love beer 🍺 ! Then down down down the line - I'm gay But I dunno, I don't see people going around saying they're straight, I don't see why that should be something I say. I just baffles me and I find it really sad... Are you so void of personality that "gay" is your number one trait ? The one thing describe you Is the type of hole you like to put your d@ck in? Done with my rant xD

zazzlekdazzle reply

Don't worry about being "behind" other people, whether it's personal goals, career, financial, whatever. Once you're out of school, there is no timeline. Everyone does things at their own pace and there is no perfect time to do anything. Everyone thinks they are behind in something in some way. So, if everyone thinks they are behind, no one is.

"The Era Of Airbnb Is Done": TikToker Rants About Airbnb Hosts "Destroying" The Service, Goes Viral With Almost 1M Views

Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but I found these secret places where you can stay, called hotels. Much less fees and someone is downstairs 24/7 if you need something. I'm glad someone thought up these places. So much better than AirBNBs!

People Are Telling Their Darkest Secrets To This Twitter Account, And Here Are 50 Of Their Juiciest Confessions (New Answers)

Not liking a food doesn't make one an a*****e

40 People Share Things That Happened That Are So Rare, They Seem Nearly Impossible (New Pics)

If he wants to

Badperson8757 reply

Okay, I’ve got this. I’ve been really, really super poor. I’m upper middle class now through busting my a*s but I still live as if I am poor. 1. First of all, food is expensive. You do not have to eat that much. Really you don’t. Mentally, being hungry as a teen screwed me up a bit. I learned that an empty stomach was normal, or even an accomplishment if I only had a couple of bucks and had to make them last. 2. Learn to cook dried beans. Pat boil them first. Then rinse and cook until done. Google it if you need to. Super cheap and nutritious meal. Bonus points for cooking them in a crockpot in a small room. It will help heat your room while they cook. 3. Cheap hotdog buns are a cheaper alternative to loaves of sliced bread if you are on your own. A whole loaf of bread can often go stale before you eat it. A pack of 8 hotdog buns is usually $1.00. So that’s a weeks worth of bread for $1.00. 4. Wear a knit hat and scarf in the house. It makes a huge difference. Keep that thermostat on 60 degrees. You will make it. Also, if you are a single person spend time at the library or other public space. Free heat and often free entertainment. 5. If you can afford it, buy an electric blanket. 6. If you can’t afford it, get one of those plush acrylic throws. Use it as the first layer of bed covering. Top it with some type of heavier cotton quilt. If you don’t have a quilt, top it with a sheet and then some other type of blanket. You will stay warm. It’s amazing. 7. Do not buy bar soap. Buy body wash and use one of those mesh loofahs. You will use much less product. 8. If your house and windows are old, cover them with anything you can find. Sheet plastic or bubble wrap are ideal but are also expensive. Use trash bags, cardboard, anything you can come up with. Tape around all edges with duct tape. It works. 9. Don’t heat space you don’t need. It was not unusual for us to stay mostly in one room during the really cold parts of winter. Just heat that room. If there are no doors, tack up blankets in the doorways to stop the airflow. 10. Cram anything you can under doors to stop drafts. 11. Take care of your possessions. No matter what it is, it’s all you have. Make the most of it. Don’t toss your things about or leave your clothes on the floor. 12. If doing laundry is as issue, have some clothes set aside as strictly “public” clothes. Pull them off ASAP and put on your hous clothes. At least you can look presentable longer between washes. 13. Learn all you can about everything possible. It is so good for your mind and can help stave off depression. 14. Join a church unless you find it offensive. Many churches provide weekly meals. Go eat, enjoy the climate controlled environment, and maybe even enjoy the fellowship. 15. Know your true worth is not related to money. There are so many other things. I need time to think. Edited: Thank you so much for the kind words, silver, and gold. I am female. Some people asked how I made it out. I won’t give my life story but will keep it short and simple. I worked. I worked my a*s off for survival and an education. There was so much about my young life that I could share but this isn’t the place for pity or such. There was abuse, parental drug addiction, father committed suicide, and I became intensely focused on building my life. I wanted a home and to feel secure. I hope my comment helped somebody as much as all the replies have helped me. Every time someone commented that “this guy gets it” or similar I started to remember that I do get it. I was reminded of the determination I showed and everything I overcame. This is important and valuable to me right now. Life is messy and I am facing some difficult life choices. I have been haunted by fear surrounding these choices because it will jeopardize my financial stability. But reading through this comment thread has helped me remember what I’ve already faced and overcome. I feel so much stronger. So where am I today? I spent my morning watching my youngest child play basketball. I drove there in my car that is warm and dependable. Then I went to the grocery store. I treated myself to my favorite cheese. I bought my kids 3 big boxes of Lucky Charms (they were on sale - 3/$10!) And I came home to a warm house with a working washer and dryer. I put my food in a working refrigerator. I truly know I am blessed. I just want to add that being poor is exhausting. And scary. It’s so hard. But happiness is very, very possible no matter your income level. Money will make some parts of life easier but not all.

50 Hotel Workers Share The Red Flags To Look Out For During Your Next Stay

When you know how to talk to people, in other words, being nice and polite, but not a door mat, you elevate the atmosphere around you. People are more apt to go the extra mile for you if you’re nice to them without acting like you expect it. If it’s the employee who’s being rude, don’t start yelling at them, because that will only escalate things, and make everyone uncomfortable. It is possible to be firm, yet still polite, and ask for their manager —-then take the manager aside and explain the situation (you NEVER humiliate someone at work, whether it’s your work or theirs). If another customer in line is abusing an employee, ask another employee to get the manager, then tell them which person is at fault (calling them out without making a scene of your own). Whether you’re a customer or employee, being polite and courteous helps you to avoid making a scene and showing everyone just how much of an a*****e you are. (I also spent 15 years in the travel industry, including hotel front office and night audit.)

50 Hotel Workers Share The Red Flags To Look Out For During Your Next Stay

Why just the front desk person - why not be kind to everyone? Saying Please and Thank You cost you nothing.

Fluid-Imagination301 reply

My friends baby daddy was in jail, apparently learned how to give really good massages. Now owns his own massage therapy clinic and employs like 30 RMT’s

Someone Wonders "What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Come Home To?" And 30 People Deliver Honest Answers

The puppy tax is the only tax I'm more than willing to pay. Well, and the kitty tax. Okay, any animal tax.

PotatoUnni reply

Blood. Blood everywhere. I was working a 12 hour shift at work and had a friend stop by to check on the dog. She immediately called me to tell me the walls were covered in blood, carpet was soaked, splatter everywhere. My dog comes running up and he, too, is covered in blood. He is wagging his tail in pure joy that someone is home, activating the blood sprinkler. He had two deep cuts on his tail from a glass bottle he broke. I left work immediately to take care of him. Get home and the sprinkler is going off again and on it's highest setting! I call the vet that is across the street from me and let them know the situation and that we're coming over. I try wrapping his wounds in towels and tape them so he isn't splattering everything in a five foot radius. Alas, he is such a happy dog and his tail is too strong for my bandage. It slips off in like two tail wags. We walk to the vet and I'm trying to sign in whole simultaneously hold a towel around my dog so he doesn't make a mess. The vets clearly didn't believe the severity when I told them the situation, because when they saw the amount of blood going all over their pristine lobby they started panicking and trying to get her mop to clean it up. We waited in the lobby for maybe fifteen minutes. There was a lot to clean. Cleaning the apartment took me about 8 bottles of peroxide and about 4 hours of cleaning with the help of a few other people. I've never seen that much blood before. Over a course of a couple months we tried staples, stitches, glue, and a combination of all of them at once. His happy tail was too happy for any of them to work and his wounds wouldn't shut and heal. We ended up having to amputate his tail. Now he is a proud member of the wiggle butt nub club.