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Two Cat Studio
Community Member
1 posts
19 comments
306 upvotes
44 points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Two Cat Studio • commented on 14 posts 6 months ago
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Two Cat Studio • upvoted 26 items 6 months ago
GeronimoJak reply
Not me but I was on a Facebook group a few weeks back where this older woman in her 60s claimed to be estranged from her kids, and she didn't know why. She assumed that the kids were hard to deal with and she did her best but no matter what they were always out to get her or feel that she was being aggressive. When someone made a comment or suggestion saying that the way she phrases things may contribute to it based on how she spoke, this woman flipped out on the person who commented. When I followed saying if that's how she speaks to them, then I can see why they may feel that way, she flipped out on me saying I don't know her story and that she was the nicest person she ever knew. Some people just genuinely don't have the mental capacity to learn how to grow.
warrant2k reply
Father to the daughter that cut off contact with her mother, my wife, here. Mother is (still) a narcissist, emotionally and mentally abused the kids until they moved out one by one. Mother also a functioning alcoholic. The daughter (moved to a different state) cut off all contact with her mother, vowed to never let her see the grandchildren. Mother spent months raging, trying weak apologies, saying things like, "I'm sorry you're upset." and "You need to grow past what happened." and (to me) "She is stuck in the past." Daughter and I are very close, I facetime with the grandbabies regularly, and visit on holidays. Edit to add: thanks everyone for your insight and stories. I feel every one. To answer some questions: Why am I still married? My youngest daughter has one more year of college that I'm paying for, then that will be it. I make significantly more money than the wife, and pay for everything. However, my state is a 50/50 state for divorce, and I need that money to get my girl through college. Up for grabs is my military pension, 401k, IRA, house, and savings. I'm certainly not rich by any means. Cheaper to keep her for now. Why didn't I leave way back then? She wasn't a psycho all the time. The good times were great, amazing. I hoped that if I could just keep those going it's all work out. I was stupidly optimistic. I also came from a broken family, my parents divorced when I was young and I hated that. In my mind "divorce was bad" and I didn't want to inflict that on my kids. Now that I can look back I realize I should have left much earlier. Too often it was like walking on eggshells in the house. She may snap on something, or get drunk then come out raging and gaslighting. I was always on edge. That was my norm. Being in the military has taught me to toughen up and do job. So that's what I did at home. But toughening up meant keeping my emotions to myself. Burying them away, putting on a strong face. We'd argue and fight, she'd cry and yell. I could never get her to change. People that are in abusive relationships get into a certain mindset. You ever hear a cabinet slam too hard? Ever have clothes folded at you? Hear dishes put on the sink a little too loud? You're suddenly on high alert, on the lookout for anything coming your way. Waiting for the steps down the hall and your door fly open. It's a terrible way to live. I should have made many different decisions, been stronger, gotten help earlier. Maybe being always in survival mode doesn't let you think about those things. I regret many things and will always carry that with me. But now I look to the future and the happy times I'll have with my kids grandkids. I want to be the papa and grampa I never had. Thanks for reading this far, I'd love to give you all a big dad hug. Because you are worth it, and you deserve it. Take care. ♥️.
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Two Cat Studio • submitted a new post 1 year ago
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Two Cat Studio • commented on 14 posts 6 months ago
Two Cat Studio • commented on a post 1 year ago
Two Cat Studio • commented on 4 posts 2 years ago
Two Cat Studio • upvoted 20 items 6 months ago
Any Tips For Reinforcing This Hammock For My Girl? She’s 8 Months Old And I Feel It’s Not Going To Hold Her Much Longer Tbh But It’s Her Favourite Spot
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