Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
Every family has their secrets, it's only natural. Some things are just so foul and wrong that they just have to stay in the family. Some of them even go to the grave.
Sharing these dark secrets is very brave, considering the taboo topics that might come up. I ask you, oh brave pandas, to share some of the darkest ones that you have. I put a trigger warning in advance, since I'm aware that some of you might go into some really dark stuff. This thread might not be for the weakest of stomachs.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My father is the youngest of 13 kids. But actually my grandparents only had 9 kids. Grandpa ran a farm and had a truck to deliver the produce from his and the surrounding farms. During WW2 he drove to Amsterdam to deliver food and secretly brought back Jewish boys. He hid them on his farm pretending they were his kids. Partially very nice of him, but he also just needed extra hands to work. After the war most of the boys went home to family members, but 4 of them had no remaining family. He officially adopted those 4 boys and just went on as if they had always been part of the family.
Final score:
646points
RELATED:
#2
My uncle had always been a raging alcoholic. A dangerous alcoholic. Well, my aunt married him anyways. They went to Germany for their honeymoon. Only he returned. We asked about the aunt and he pretended like he had no idea what we were talking about and how he has "never gotten married".
About five years later he married again despite us all trying to tell the woman not to. They went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Same thing. He came back without her. Again pretended like he's never married. We began suspecting he was k***ing them. We called the police. They investigated. Nothing turned up. And then the years later, he married again. But COVID happened and they haven't gone on a honeymoon.
We're not sure she'd believe us if we told her. So we have distanced ourselves from my uncle and he remains as the secret we don't talk about. We don't talk about Bruno type situation.
Final score:
355points
#3
Trigger warning! VERY dark!
My mother and my father started dating when they were just 18.
My mother got pregnant soon after.
My grandmother made my mom ingest large doses of quinine every day (which is a big health risk by itself!), and inserted a small plastic item in her uterus.
This led - as planned- to a late miscarriage on the toilet when my mom was about 20 weeks pregnant.
The baby boy was alive and „as big as a doll“ (quoting my mother).
She k***ed and dismembered the fetus and flushed the parts down the toilet.
Then she went back to sit at the table with the guests they had that day to have coffee and later dinner.
My mom grew to be as cruel and cold as her own mom.
She did something similar to me, when I was just 15 and unfortunately got pregnant.
She and a gynecologist told me the baby was sick, and the pregnancy had to be terminated.
I believed them.
A few days later I had to go there, to get the abortion. My mom gave me an envelope with about (converted) 8000$.
The abortion was performed without any kind of local anaesthesia.
I lost consciousness a few times, they fastened me to the gyn chair.
Part of my soul will stay there forever.
The doctor forced me to take a good look at the destroyed embryo „so that I would never do what I did again!“
When I came home traumatized and in shock, my mom said, that „I should pull myself together and that she had suffered so much more!“
Then she told me her abortion story.
I wish she never had told me.
Years later, when we had a fight, she dropped that my baby had been absolutely healthy.
Final score:
303points
#4
At twenty-one, when I asked my mother why I had no siblings, she confided that I had actually been born a twin and my brother had died because I "choked him" with my umbilical cord. She said I must never tell anyone or mention it to my father because he was still upset "that it was the boy who had died". I had wanted a brother or sister all my life so was deeply sad and felt incredibly guilty to the point where I unsuccessfully attempted to end my life. (There was other stuff going on too - death of my boyfriend of five years - so I was already in a dark place.)
Years later when I was carrying my own twins I began to realise that parts of her story seemed unusual and looked into my birth records. And here's the darkest bit - it turns out there never was a twin. I never confronted her.
Final score:
282points
#5
My cousin is really my sister. My Aunt and Uncle couldn't have kids so my parents did for them.
Final score:
226points
#6
It’s actually f*cking awesome. Grandfather's great aunt by marriage ran the most notorious brothel in Sydney and had a lifelong feud with another brothel owner. She did go to the other madam's funeral when she died, but as reported by the newspaper “just to make sure the old b***h stays in the ground”. The whole feud started over a dog breeding scam! RIP Tilly Devine
Final score:
208points
Susie Elle 2 years ago
I'm having trouble regarding a brothel as 'awesome', as you never know under what circumstances the workers had to do their jobs, but I guess it is a cool story :)
#7
If you met my dad, you’d think he was a soft faced and gentle old doctor and a pretty cool guy for acting young, being a good father, living to fish and drink beer, and being willing to build you a deck. You’d think he loved God by the way he talks.
Well, he’s a p***phile who spent my childhood grooming me. He exposed himself at me every day when I was little, and got unusually jealous whenever I showed a little skin in public as a teenager. The way he hugged and kissed me was creepy, and I was afraid to say no. He told me my developing body was making me more likely to be “sold into white slavery and a** r*ped” and that I’d be r*ped by strange men if I showed my shoulders or danced. Yeah, he was racist and sexist. And as a young adult who still didn’t understand, he apologized convincingly, then began using me to emotionally cheat on the wife he hates, treating me like a girlfriend. And then he’d try controlling me financially when I lost my job.
He also beat, intimidated, and controlled my mother, who then took out her frustration on me. She told me I was ugly every chance she got. He told everyone that she was the crazy one. He wouldn’t let her have a job. He was verbally, emotionally, psychologically, financially, and sexually abusive to an extreme level, to the point I developed DID and nearly 60 alters as a result of how he treated all of us.
When his wife got into an affair with a man who gave her a little escape, he cheated in revenge with a woman who had the same name as himself. Textbook narcissist womanizer. Then he cheated with a woman who was hideous, just because pitying her made him feel better about himself. Being her “hero” made him feel better about himself. She was none the wiser that it wasn’t her he was cheating for. He blamed my mother for the entire divorce.
My mother wasn’t innocent, either. She brainwashed me like the fricken winter soldier. Used me as a weapon in the divorce. I really thought it was my fault. So I falsely confessed the divorce was my fault. As if a thirteen year old with autism could be a proficient manipulator. And he never stopped hating me. I was already the black sheep, but now it was so much worse. He often called me by my mother’s name when angry. He k***ed my pets on purpose. He kept buying pets, waiting for me to get attached, and then k***ed them. Over a hundred of them. I eventually stopped getting attached. I had nobody. When I finally understood that I was being mocked by my friends at school, I was alone. I cut everyone out to protect myself, and spent six years in isolation. He blamed me for all the bullying. Daily, he would say things so vile and cruel that I had to dissociate. When I told the school counselor I was s*****al, he showed up all goody two shoes to fix his reputation, and then when I got home, he called me things I wouldn’t repeat, and his new wife called me a traitor.
His second wife had a vile, mannerless, cruel son, and I had to come home to the school bully every day. He and his two brothers would gang up on me. Then the kid did something messed up on a whole different level. He and his brothers cornered me in the garage. He did the unpardonable sin, and led the other two to do it, too. Basically eternal murder-s**ide before my eyes. He was disappointed when I wouldn’t follow suit. But basically, I’ll never have a brother in heaven, which is my waking nightmare.
When I found Christ, my parents became more and more cruel, and I just tried to be a good child despite it. When he wasn’t preoccupied with making my life a living hell, he just drank a lot of alcohol and avoided me. When he felt guilty, he’d buy gifts I don’t want I at of be there for me, listen to me, or God-forbid apologize. I suffer from DID, PTSD, self loathing, depression, anxiety, anger issues, social anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, and chronic insomnia. Nobody believed me or tried to save me for 21 years. So I cut him out, but he still harasses me. I wish I was never born.
Final score:
204points
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Trash Panda, I'm deeply sorry to read your story. If I had the power I would fly to you right now, take you in my arms and HUG you with all my might. I Want you to know that all the terrible things that have happened are NOT YOUR FAULT. You are lovely and beautiful and kind and caring. I love you and if you need to talk I'm here for you. HUGS and a big kiss from me (and they are Auntie Caro Hugs and Kisses).
#8
My grandfather, my Mom's Dad, was in the Merchant Marines in the 40's during WW2. He started out sailing the Atlantic but in the last 2 years they switched him to the Pacific.
It turns out that he was actually honorably discharged in July, 1945 and NOT November, 1945 like he'd told everyone.
He stayed in California for 4 months, unbeknownst to anyone, with a couple of buddies and crashed with them. To earn extra money to bring home, he made 3 porn movies. He was 32-33 at the time, a big, robust, good looking man.
He was married to my grandmother already and my Mom wasn't born until 1947, so they were childless still.
We never found any of this out until 1984, when my Dad got a hold of some VHS vintage porn from the 40's and watched it with my Mom. Back in those days (40's), even before and after, one of the common tricks they used was to make the participants wear half-masks to try and conceal identity.
My Mom recognized him right away though, despite the mask. He had a very distinctive tattoo on the inside of his lower left forearm, a specific birthmark on his lower right hip (which I have too) and also a jagged scar on his lower right calf from when he got hit by shrapnel on an Atlantic ship that had taken some hits but hadn't sank and limped to port years earlier.
A buddy of his was still alive at the time (1984) and still living in California, so my Mom got in touch. Sure enough, the friend (in his 70s) confirmed it and told her about the 3 movies. He starred in them himself and eventually sent her copies of the other 2 films.
In the other 2, he had brief speaking roles and she identified his voice along with the other body ID markers. My grandfather died in 1969, and my grandmother in 1983. According to my Mom, she was sure no one had any clue.
The money my grandfather earned helped to pay off the only car they had at the time and the rest helped to reestablish their nest egg.
So yeah, there's that one. I still have the VHS tapes but don't have a player anymore. I've never watched them, just kept them. Still don't know if I want to watch, LOL.
Final score:
188points
-mafīafrog- 2 years ago
I wouldn't watch them. A: it would ruin those memories of love for him and B: it's pørn. Why would anyone want to watch that.
#9
My mom's brother and her dad secretly don’t like her but its sad because she loves them so much
Final score:
172points
#10
That I was s**ually a***ed for many many years by an uncle. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mother, I was forced to keep it a secret so my grandmother wouldn't know the horrible thing her son had done. I'm still holding onto this to this day.
Final score:
169points
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Wondering why sexual assault is asterisked out like it’s a cuss word or shameful. That’s nonsense. We keep distilling rape down to something the victim should be ashamed of, punishing her for being raped, to the point that we can’t even write out the words?? Absurd.
#11
My stepdad was a known p***phile. He had more than one teen boy he “took in” and slept with in his bed, for years. He kissed me with tongue once when I was about 8. He used to watch my sister and I bathe, staring at us creepily. To this day my mom denies he was a p***phile despite what I’ve told her and the whole community believes. Also, my uncle k***ed a man.
Final score:
163points
#12
My grandmother on my mom's side might be the s**ttiest person I've ever met. She treats me like c**p because I'm a teenager, a girl, and I remind her of my mom who she also tends to treat like c**p. She caused my uncle's divorce because she MOVED IN with him and his then wife because she's a hoarder and can't even live in her house anymore. She's completely ruined my youngest cousin and now he worships her in such a creepy way. She's also racist, homophobic, sexist, anti-vax, etc. I just hate her. And we can't find a way to cut ties because when we're in her state she finds a way to figure out that we're there and guilts my parents into visiting. I hate her so much.
Final score:
152points
#13
I thought my dad had died but apparently he sent me away because I was born with a hearing problem and I wasn't perfect enough for him. I also didn't know I had a sister until four years ago, because my father decided that because my older brother was born, dear old dad could send my sister and I away, putting us both up for adoption. My mom got in the way though and managed to claim me, but I only recently got in touch with my sister and oldest brother, as we all met at Dad's funeral after he passed from cancer. I'm not sad that he's gone, but I don't hate him. He hated me, but I don't have a reason to hate him. I'm not sad though.
Final score:
144points
#14
My uncle suffered from head trauma after falling off a skyscraper during work, it messed him up really bad and led to him turning to hard drugs.
He was mixing coke with PCP behind the family's back.
Well, one day when his soon to be be ex wife stopped by to talk to him about their 4 kids, he jumped into her car before she had a chance to remove her seat belt and stabbed her to death over 36 times.
Afterward, he walked back into his apartment where his brother was and told him to call 911 cuz he just k***ed the monster that was gonna take his kids from him
Final score:
136points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
That's extremely sad to have happened to their children. For their father to take their mother away from them in that manner, and then I would assume, go to prison for a long time. It would have been so devastating as well for her parents to lose their child. I hope her children are doing okay.
#15
My Dad is a Sex Offender. The story he gave us was full of holes and the real story was revealed after my husband and I tried to adopt. He had attacked 2 women on two separate occasions. We have been no contact ever since and have been unable to adopt.
Final score:
136points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
That's very sad that someone else's life choices are going to prevent you from being a parent to a child who needs one. It's disgusting that he's still manipulating people to get what he wants out of life and has no concern for his family members. That is the nature of this type of people.
MoJo1979 (Submission author) 2 years ago
Yes, because he is my relation, the rules are that you can’t adopt if a member of your family is a known sex offender. If we can show that he’ll have no relationship with the child then we can apply again. Hence why we’ve had no contact with him.
Load More Replies...
LaToya Mack 2 years ago
Wait a minute what does your dad‘s criminal history have to do with your ability to adopt? I smell fish.
Midoribird Aoi 2 years ago
So because YOUR dad is a sex offender, YOU can't adopt? Look, I can see their reasoning; must not put the child in even the slightest hint of harm's way, but that's messed up your life. I am sorry.
Dadolwch 2 years ago
I don't understand why OP and spouse can't adopt because the father is an offender?
Needmorecowbell 2 years ago
Because they have to now prove that a child will have no contact with the grandfather, and then they will have to reapply.
Load More Replies... #16
My cousin married a serial k***er, she had 2 boys with him and he tried to k*** one of them.
Final score:
120points
#17
The story as I was told is this... My grandmother, my mom's mom, came from a very poor family, and they lived away from town. She was asked to babysit, at the age of 15, by a couple from town. The "husband" picked her up, drove further into the country and r**ed her. It said that my great grandmother, after finding out what had happened to her daughter, tracked the man down and gutted him with a kitchen knife. My grandmother got Justice through her mother. The saddest part of the story, my grandmother had a baby from this r**e. The baby girl was adopted by a couple they we're acquainted with and my grandmother was able to visit her daughter until she was around three or four years old. Im told the couple thought she was too close to the little girl and they up and moved away without telling anybody where they were going. My grandmother was an alcoholic most of her life due what had happened to her, but she always wanted to find her daughter. My mother being an "only" child , so she thought until about age 12 when one of her cousins blurted out that her mother was r**ed and had a baby. Which was rather devastating to my mom as well. My grandmother's has an identical twin. Her twin continued to look for her daughter up until she passed away. The daughter, my mom's sister, would be in her '80's now My mother also looked for her prior to her passing 17 years ago. If only the internet was a bigger better thing back then she would probably have found her quickly and could have possibly had a relationship with her. So that's the family secret. Very few know about what my grandmother did or about the baby. Only my grandmother's sisters knew.
Final score:
113points
#18
My childhood home burnt down in 2009, when I was 8 years old, and my whole family knows the truth about what really happened that day... Let's say the fire was unaccidentaly accidental...
Final score:
112points
#19
Only a secret to me, because my whole family knew. My mom had been married before she met my father. When she got pregnant, they married and moved away so she could tell people that 9lb me was born prematurely. She never wanted me to know that she'd been married before, or that she was pregnant before she married my dad. I was raise to think divorce and pre-marital sex were wrong, period. Everyone kept her secret from me until after my parents passed away. I found the marriage license when cleaning out the house, and the date had been visibly altered. Then I was accidentally told about the first marriage by a cousin who assumed that I must have already been told (I was 41 years old by then). I had come to suspect that she lied about their wedding date, but I had zero idea about the first marriage.
Final score:
110points
#20
My grandfather on my dad's side was one of the guards responsible for keeping the little rock 9 out of school, yet because he died when my dad was at a young age practically everyone in my dads side of the family consider him a hero. Another really messed up part of my dads side is the fact that they are all racist homophobes and my grandmother on my dads side talked about how she would punt stray cats. I don't like my dads side and try to avoid talking about them.
Final score:
104points
Priscilla Reshell 2 years ago
Who the hell would hurt a poor kitty? I'm glad you're not in touch they seem horrible
#21
I met my bio father in 2008. We met in person twice. We lived in different states. Met my 3 half sisters and 2 half brothers. We talked on the phone and wrote often. One day the calls stopped. Found out he was in prison for sexually abusing a few of his grandkids. I waited about 2 years to decide to write him. The day I went to look for the address to the prison I found his obituary and his funeral was that same day.
Final score:
99points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
I'm sorry, it's unfortunate that you can't be heard for the things that you might have needed to say and that opportunity is gone. You could possibly try writing it all down, taking it to his grave, reading it there, and burning it. It might give you a little bit of comfort.
#22
So I know this isn't as good (or bad?) as some of the other stories but a few generations back two brothers fought over the civil war and never talked again. A few years later, a girl from the confederate side of the family and a boy from the union side met at a lets-forgive-and-forget-but-I-still-hate-you type family gathering. They fell in love and started a family (keep in mind they're some kind of cousins or something). Fast-forward a few generations and I'm named after that girl.
Final score:
96points
#23
It’s not actually disturbing or anything but somehow the fact my great gran got admitted to a psyche ward because she became s*****al has become something no one talks about. She died 5 or so years ago and I only found out this year that 20 years ago she was admitted for a few months and both my mum and gran are really ashamed of this fact.
Final score:
93points
#24
Take your pick: The murderer, the murderer who got away, or the one who a***ed children to death (murdered) without suspicion.
Final score:
92points
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Jesus Leo. I can't pick and am not sure I want to know. I sincerely hope you are ok tho. Maaaaan, these stories make me realize how good I had it and I thought I had sh!t to deal with but no, the postings here are truly sad and horrible. I'm sending you a Hug and a big sloppy Caro kiss. You know the one, they take your breath away ... those. X
#25
The darkest secret our family has is a few streaks of alcoholism here and there and the fact that we're so boring that we don't have dark secrets.
Final score:
91points
#26
Quite some secrets here.
- My mom and her sisters were a***ed by the same uncle when they were little. No one believed my mom when she spoke back in the day, and her sisters never said anything until last year, I think.
- My grandad from my mom's side was a alcoholic and a violent person. He hit my grandma A LOT, and also hit my uncles when they were little. Everyone in town knows him as a great and kind person, and the greatest friend.
- We don't know who my dad's father is. My grandma never said a word, never will. The man I call my grandpa on his side doesn't Even look like him. Other people know who my bio grandad is, but no one seems to remember the name. Also my dad doesn't care so idk who my actual grandad is and probably will never know.
- Word says my grandad from my dad found his wife sleeping with this other man and set her on fire, leaving her a huge very visible scar on her belly, chest and neck, almost to her face. He denies it all.
There's more, but it's getting quite long, so I'll leave it at that. Quite the family.
Final score:
90points
#27
There are really two......my old man was a sociopath, closet p***phile with a sadistic streak......when my maternal grandfather dies he persuaded my maternal grandmother to move in with us, sold her house and pocketed the lot. Charged her rent from her pension and treated her abysmally. When she was 82 he left a note on the kitchen table telling her to be out of his house by the time he got home from work, THAT day. All because supposedly she had omitted to pass on a phone message.
He was a complete a'hole whom I hated with a passion and I'm glad he is gone.
Final score:
89points
#28
I am my family's darkest secret.
1. My birth mother was a teenager who became pregnant by her high school History teacher. I was put up for adoption and never spoken of again.
2. My adoptive mother and I lived with her father. I was told my father was dead, having been k***ed in the war. That was untrue. He left us when I was a toddler to start another family in the next town over.
I did not find out about any of this until after my adoptive mother died. I was 32.
Final score:
82points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
That's incredibly sad. I hope that you're doing well considering the information that you've been dealing with. Gentle hugs.
#29
I was raised by my mom, no dad in the picture. When I was a teenager, I guess my dad reached out to my mom to have contact with us (my brother and I). My mom asked us first if we wanted that, and my brother did, so I also agreed even though I didn't really care.
Well right before we met him for the first time, my mom told us that he was married when they were dating. He was cheating on his wife with her. I apparently have two half siblings, one is older than my brother and the other was born between me and my brother. (I still don't know if my mom knew about the wife while she was dating my dad.)
We stopped having contact with my dad only three months after starting contact. My brother invited him to his football game, but he didn't show up. I hate my dad for disappointing because my brother because he really wanted it to work out and to have a father.
I should note that I found out my brother asked my mom for my dad's contact information when my brother's wife was pregnant. He told my mom he wanted to see if there were any health problems on that side of the family that he should be worried about due to the pregnancy. My mom is pretty sure he just wanted to tell his dad that he was having a kid.
Final score:
79points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
It's sad that your dad hasn't made himself a part of yours and your brother's lives. It's even more sad that he probably won't care that your brother is having a child. Men like this are a piece of garbage.
#30
My grandparents met and married within 7 days; my grandma already had my mom at that point (from a r**e, she was only 16). A few years and 2 more daughters later, they divorce and she moves away and meets a man, who we'll call Tom, and marries him. About a year later, she leave him for my grandfather and they remarry. Now when she left Tom his own mother tells him she got in a car accident and died. Fast forward about 30 years an my grandmother applies for social security and they tell her, "oh, you're last name is so and so." She responds, no, my last name is "this." Nope, sorry ma'am, our records indicate your last name is so and so. She does a little sleuthing and finds Tom. She speaks with Tom's wife who tells her what Tom's mother said and so he never divorced my grandma. She also told my grandma that he never got over her and she wasn't going to mention this to him. My grandma said, "well, you're not really married to him, I am, so unless you want me back in your life, you'll get this taken care of PDQ." So, she got a divorce and married my grandpa for a 3rd time. When we had a family meeting for them to tell us, their 3 daughters and grandkids cracked up laughing, but my grandparents didn't think it was funny.
Final score:
74points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
Where in the hexx would Tom have been, to believe his wife had a car accident and died but he never saw any proof of any of this, and willfully believe it? This sounds like madness to me. I wouldn't give up without seeing my husband, dead body, accident report, casket, grave, headstone, ashes, receipts, death certificate, or some proof of something. I would never walk in my house and be told by anyone that my spouse died and just sit down and say okay, tomorrow's a new day. Someone would have to drug me and knock me out or tie me down to keep me from trying to figure out what happened. Sounds like someone lied on Tom's mother and Tom nor your grandma neither one thought it was very important to get a divorce. It wasn't all Tom's fault, women can and should file for divorce too, before they get married.
#31
Not really a secret as she had no trouble telling everyone, but my mom wanted to k*** me and my brother and “bury em in the backyard” so there’s that
Final score:
71points
#32
My grandpa's brother on my mom's side who I grew up knowing as a nice man that I called Uncle Bill. He had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a distant cousins young daughter and got her pregnant. He told her to tell everyone she didn't know who the father was. She slept over their house frequently for some reason and she gave birth in their basement and he tossed the baby into the furnace.
Final score:
70points
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
Omfg! What fresh hêll is this! I hope this man is under a prison somewhere or in general pop, maybe even on death row. I hope this young lady is going to be okay and gets the help she needs.
#33
Not really a secret, but we are related to Americas first serial k***er, Boone Helm
Final score:
67points
#34
3 half siblings from Dad (older than us )but named the same as my brother and two sisters,
Final score:
66points
Ziggyc (Submission author) 2 years ago
That's after a DNA test and them coming forward,very weird meeting half siblings that have the exact names,he never acknowledged them .maybe he called us by their names as not to be confused or let his secret out..even our mother didn't know
#35
It is known that I suffer from depression and I am on antidepressants. But what i have not told anyone is that the antidepressants have not worked as they should and that I've tried taking my own life several times so far this year
Final score:
66points
Zero 2 years ago
Hope you're talking to your doctors & therapists about them not working anymore. Not all kinds work for everybody and some just stop working after awhile, so it often takes experimentation on types & dosages. And if you're afraid the doctor or therapists will report any of that info to people you don't want knowing, it's time for a new one.
#36
A person in our family has committed multiple felonies and crimes (none of physical violence). Due to therapy, financial wealth, and cunning secretive behavior, they have never had to pay the price for their actions.
Final score:
65points
#37
Me. I'm the first one in the family to have gone to prison.
Final score:
56points
Masen Silas 2 years ago
Im the first in my family to NOT go to jail or prison and the hate I get from that is INSANE
#38
Buckle up, we're about to go on a crazy ride. First thing first, this was a secret only hidden from me.
A few decades ago, I met someone who seemed like the perfect match for me. We clicked so well, it almost seemed that we were destined for each other. We had several mental issues. It caused some strain, however we helped each other pull through it and we progressed further than anyone would've thought. At first, I took her mom's lead when things went bad (she had schizophrenia, bipolar and OCD). I thought sedating her was a simple way out. So, I tried talking her through it. Sedating her was a last resort for me. The more that happened, the better it got. Her Mom was told that she would never be able to live on her own and bought an apartment building, so she would have some illusion of Independence. However, the more I worked with her, you couldn't see a trace of any serious mental illnesses. The honeymoon period wore off. Honestly, I think I felt it earlier. But, I thought it would be too devastating for her to lose the relationship. I took some soul searching and remembered why I feel in love with her in the first place. It worked in a hundred fold. A couple years later, she felt that. Broke it off, with very few regrets (& not even giving a chance to rethink it). My little brother had a crush on her from his early teen years. He thought I didn't deserve her. He never saw her at her worst and thought she was always at her best (though, I don't mean anything negative for her at these points). Now, here's where it becomes relevant to this post. He started dating her. That information was kept from me for a couple years. I had some suspicions, but no answers. It was usually brought up in a side note, but carefully covered. I didn't know for sure until one of my friends asked me if we were on good terms (my brother and me). Now, I do feel bad, but I take some pleasure in this. Without the constant care, she has reverted back to where she was. Also, my brother can be on the selfish side, he left her.
What do you think ?
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Sometimes the anonymity of the internet is our only safety. To all those who had to suffer the confusion, the strange sense of not-okay-but-have-to-pretend, the nightmares, pain, flashbacks, physical side effects, etc... You're not alone. And many Pandas have shown that we can share, and receive compassion, which isn't so common in the real world. The horrors of our "normal" aren't to be shared lest it upset the illusion, in "real life".
Paddling Panda 2 years ago
So true. Just last week, I was told not to talk about my experiences with my recently deceased dad because another sibling wants to remember him as she knew him (he abused me but not her, so we had vastly different experiences). It feels lonely and isolating to not be able to talk about my lived experience, but I find comfort and support with my chosen family: my friends and my pets. Hugs to all of you who have survived and who prevail. The pain and betrayal never go away, but you are NOT alone.
Load More Replies...
Everydayhuman83 2 years ago
Don't Know If Caro Caro Will See This, But You Are The Greatest From What I See In The Comments. :)
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Aw, I was scrolling along and I just read this. You are so kind, thank you.
Load More Replies...
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
My stepmom hated me, she fed me chocolate that hurt me {deathly allergic, even some on my skin burns} and ended up when she sending me almost dead to the hospital when she jumped on me, used a box cutter to slice my neck and up along my cheek and nose A Moms friend Adopted me after it My dad still doesn't understand what happened {hes sick and dieing now and she just wants his money, I was 10 years old and my mother had just passed away when I was 7, it took 2 years for them to find my dad}she attacked me cause she thought I came into his life to get it, he feels bad but his mind is going but he sends me tons of money to cover everything in life now, I'm now 34 years old}
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
This sounds so horrifying and traumatic for you. I'm sorry that you had to endure that pain from your stepmother and then suffering without your father. I'm very grateful that the friend of your mom's took you in and I hope you were able to have a stable and happy life with them. I wish you all the best in your journey through life and gentle hugs.
Load More Replies...
Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
Just when you think you've got it bad, sheesh. Thankfully, our family secrets aren't that dark. I was the flower girl for my parents' second wedding when I was 10. Seems everyone there but me knew it was their first (I found out when I was 18, what a night that was!). Some old family shame on my Mum's side where a sister she didn't know existed turned out to be very mentally ill. She ended up taking herself out (trying to get around the censors here) and no one told Mum until she was in her 70s. Also, we're pretty sure Grandma was a Lady of the Evening way back when. Mum remembers her emptying her purse every night and the bills tumbling out onto the bed. Hey, whatever it takes to keep your family alive, no shame in that. Great big heartfelt non-threatening hugs and blessings to all of the beautiful, damaged Pandas on here. Sharing is caring and we do care for each other around here. Well, except for that guy. There's always one! ;-)
Susie Kamper 2 years ago
My grandmother never talked about ww2. If anyone mentioned it, she shut down. All we knew is that after the war she changed her name. After she died, my mom and I searched for her online and found out, she was part of Gestapo. Her brother too. He was caught and shot when our country was deliberated. 10 years after ww2, a woman in my city was killed. It’s still a mystery why. Turns out, her name was the same as my grandmoms before she changed it.
SillyDragonfly4 2 years ago
After my religi6 grandparents had passed, my mom told me they were swingers in their early years. It was suprising to me bc they never missed mass on Sunday and were very judgmental of others behavior.
An Unpopular Opinion. 2 years ago
I don't have any, but I'm glad I don't. This list made me sad, so sorry to everyone who is going through / went through these things. <3
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
Our family has a dark secret, but so far nobody has figured out what it is yet. A few years ago one of my favourite uncles, who’d always been funny and friendly, came back from an overseas trip and started abusing my grandparents before shooting himself in the face. He survived, my dad has since semi-secretly met up with him and says he’s back to being nice, but he won’t talk about what happened on his trip or after.
𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖊 2 years ago
One of my family secrets is that my family back then was crazy, and my distant cousin was killed bc he got kidnapped by his brothers drug dealers bc he didn't pay them back. Story got around, and made a movie out of it. The movie is Alpha Dog. There's so much craziness in my family, I sometimes wish that I had the picture perfect family with no killing or drugs, just happiness and normalness.
K Wit 2 years ago
My moms uncle sexually abused her cousin her whole life. One night she was found dead in the woods in the middle of a snowstorm w only her nightgown on and one sock. She was 14. My moms aunt found her diary after the funeral and that's when all the abuse came out. It was kept a secret from the family. Only my grandmother knew. She did tell my mom later on what really happened. Apparently my moms cousin was trying to escape another assault and tried to hide in the woods, which she said in her diary that was her only way to defend herself, and died of hypothermia. He never faced any consequences of course said she was a liar and made that stuff up bc she was mad at him for punishing her when he said no she couldn't go to the movies w friends and stuff like that. People like him can twist lie and maneuver their way into making people believe they are the victims and people fall for it
Tina Zimmer 2 years ago
I truly hope that there's a hell and special place there for him! I'm soo sorry your cousin had to endure this, including the shame the so called family out on her name after she died trying to protect herself.
Load More Replies...
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Not really a secret, but one of my ancestors suffered from a mental illness. Not certain what, but possibly postnatal depression. Her family sent her away to a mental asylum and she never saw her kids again. She died years later. Her family weren't even able to go to her funeral/bring her body home since they lived a long way away and it couldn't be moved by horse and cart in the Australian bush before it decomposed.
Notyomama 2 years ago
My great uncle was on the spectrum. He had autism and epilepsy. He was married once upon a time. My Grandparents had to help him get a divorce. She was also special and her family prostituted her. She wound up with STDs. I am ashamed that my family didn't do more for her, but it was the deep south and there wasn't much recourse to be had. When I find out who that family was, I might blast it to the world. Depends. Also, my uncle who fought in WW2 caught his wife in bed with another man. Shot and killed him. Went to prison. Died on the streets of Texas.
Green Tree 2 years ago (edited)
My great grandmother was a black woman in the early 1900s American South. She was raped by a white man and had my grandfather. Poor kid grew up as a neglected outcast. When he was about ten it was decided to send him to live with distant family away from the south where he could be eventually ‘passed’ into white society. My grandfather is long gone but I remember him fondly. It breaks my heart what he went through and that he felt the need to take the secret to his grave. We found out through DNA matching. Racism is so stupid. Under the old slavery and segregation laws I would be considered black. I’m blonde and pale.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
i'm putting this out there in hopes that maybe i will get some info on a family secret. i may have to put it into two posts if limited by keystrokes. tried the genealogy route but didn't get too far so maybe someone out there has a dovetailed family story. my grandmother, born in 1917, eloped with a man when she was around 16-17. when she returned home her father did not accept the marriage because he wasn't portuguese and had it annulled. unbeknownst to him, she became pregnant with my aunt so what should have been a "legitimate" birth was now considered a bastard in his eyes. she was then married off to some wealthy older man whom she had my mom. the only piece of info i have on her hubby was the name andrew newton. this was in the east, possibly boston or philly. records have conveniently been lost or destroyed.
Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago
I had gay Uncle that was arrested in a Gents toilet in the 50's as he was trying to pick someone up for s&X. Oh and I have Aunt who used to help her husband interfere with their kids. It wasn't until the eldest daughter found that they had started interfering with youngest girl, that she final told on them. They had six kids, boys and girls and interfered with them all. He got put away for life and the Aunt went away for few years too for helping him.
Quinn Alexander 2 years ago
We're pretty standard, alcoholic asshat being the only real problem, although a family friend once told me he was attracted to my sister. She's an adult right now but he was an adult while she was a swaddling so it's still creepy as hell. Not much else though. There's tons of s**t my mom says she's not going to talk about though...
Cass Malone 2 years ago
My aunt had come to visit my parents when her husband had left her. Now idk why, but my mom decided to stay home with my sister and I (4 and NB respectively) while my dad took my aunt to the bar, try and lift her spirits. Well my dad had gone out to the car and passed out. He woke up to my aunt giving him oral, decided to go along with it like the idiot he is. My mom seemingly forgave him for 11 years, but ended up divorcing him. She never forgave her sister, and I don't blame my mom for either. (I was told this at 13)
Heather Menard 2 years ago
My father was a pedophile that molested my sister step sister and granddaughter. Thank god he didn't want anything to do with me. I call him the sperm donor.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
My Mormon family still doesn't know that I was one of the protestors outside their temple in 2008, after the money from their church was used to overturn gay marriage in California. I also enjoyed pointing out to the homophobic shitheads on their big, church lawn that I'm a baptized (unwillingly) member of their church, and my ancestors were some of the biggest Mormons in the game when they first settled in SLC.
Lacy Smith 1 year ago
At 36 I found out that my dad isn’t my real father. I found a half sister on ancestry too old to belong to him. I asked my mom if there was someone else and sure enough it was the same name on my sister’s family tree. My dad still doesn’t know and I’m planning on never telling him because it would break his heart. I do have a relationship with my sister but when she meets any of my people I introduce her as a friend. I do wish I could tell the world that we are sisters but I can’t risk my dad finding out.
Lacy Smith 1 year ago
At 36 I found out that my dad isn’t my real father. Found out because I found a half sister on ancestry who was too old to belong to my dad so I asked my mom if there was someone else. She told me the name. Sure enough, same name on my sister’s family tree. My dad still doesn’t know. He thinks I’m his biological daughter and I’m never going to tell him otherwise. It would break his heart. Such a big secret to keep.
Shine Chisholm 2 years ago
One of my aunts had an "accident" to get life insurance money so they wouldn't lose the house. Her husband was in on it. Everybody would have preferred to keep her instead of getting the money.
Suzy the observer 2 years ago
Here are cute cat stories. We all need them. https://www.lovemeow.com/kittens-small-brave-strong-together-2657288581.html The site is LOVEMEOW
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
Sometimes the anonymity of the internet is our only safety. To all those who had to suffer the confusion, the strange sense of not-okay-but-have-to-pretend, the nightmares, pain, flashbacks, physical side effects, etc... You're not alone. And many Pandas have shown that we can share, and receive compassion, which isn't so common in the real world. The horrors of our "normal" aren't to be shared lest it upset the illusion, in "real life".
Paddling Panda 2 years ago
So true. Just last week, I was told not to talk about my experiences with my recently deceased dad because another sibling wants to remember him as she knew him (he abused me but not her, so we had vastly different experiences). It feels lonely and isolating to not be able to talk about my lived experience, but I find comfort and support with my chosen family: my friends and my pets. Hugs to all of you who have survived and who prevail. The pain and betrayal never go away, but you are NOT alone.
Load More Replies... Everydayhuman83 2 years ago
Don't Know If Caro Caro Will See This, But You Are The Greatest From What I See In The Comments. :)
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Aw, I was scrolling along and I just read this. You are so kind, thank you.
Load More Replies... Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
My stepmom hated me, she fed me chocolate that hurt me {deathly allergic, even some on my skin burns} and ended up when she sending me almost dead to the hospital when she jumped on me, used a box cutter to slice my neck and up along my cheek and nose A Moms friend Adopted me after it My dad still doesn't understand what happened {hes sick and dieing now and she just wants his money, I was 10 years old and my mother had just passed away when I was 7, it took 2 years for them to find my dad}she attacked me cause she thought I came into his life to get it, he feels bad but his mind is going but he sends me tons of money to cover everything in life now, I'm now 34 years old}
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
This sounds so horrifying and traumatic for you. I'm sorry that you had to endure that pain from your stepmother and then suffering without your father. I'm very grateful that the friend of your mom's took you in and I hope you were able to have a stable and happy life with them. I wish you all the best in your journey through life and gentle hugs.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
Just when you think you've got it bad, sheesh. Thankfully, our family secrets aren't that dark. I was the flower girl for my parents' second wedding when I was 10. Seems everyone there but me knew it was their first (I found out when I was 18, what a night that was!). Some old family shame on my Mum's side where a sister she didn't know existed turned out to be very mentally ill. She ended up taking herself out (trying to get around the censors here) and no one told Mum until she was in her 70s. Also, we're pretty sure Grandma was a Lady of the Evening way back when. Mum remembers her emptying her purse every night and the bills tumbling out onto the bed. Hey, whatever it takes to keep your family alive, no shame in that. Great big heartfelt non-threatening hugs and blessings to all of the beautiful, damaged Pandas on here. Sharing is caring and we do care for each other around here. Well, except for that guy. There's always one! ;-)
Susie Kamper 2 years ago
My grandmother never talked about ww2. If anyone mentioned it, she shut down. All we knew is that after the war she changed her name. After she died, my mom and I searched for her online and found out, she was part of Gestapo. Her brother too. He was caught and shot when our country was deliberated. 10 years after ww2, a woman in my city was killed. It’s still a mystery why. Turns out, her name was the same as my grandmoms before she changed it.
SillyDragonfly4 2 years ago
After my religi6 grandparents had passed, my mom told me they were swingers in their early years. It was suprising to me bc they never missed mass on Sunday and were very judgmental of others behavior.
An Unpopular Opinion. 2 years ago
I don't have any, but I'm glad I don't. This list made me sad, so sorry to everyone who is going through / went through these things. <3
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
Our family has a dark secret, but so far nobody has figured out what it is yet. A few years ago one of my favourite uncles, who’d always been funny and friendly, came back from an overseas trip and started abusing my grandparents before shooting himself in the face. He survived, my dad has since semi-secretly met up with him and says he’s back to being nice, but he won’t talk about what happened on his trip or after.
𝕮𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖎𝖊 2 years ago
One of my family secrets is that my family back then was crazy, and my distant cousin was killed bc he got kidnapped by his brothers drug dealers bc he didn't pay them back. Story got around, and made a movie out of it. The movie is Alpha Dog. There's so much craziness in my family, I sometimes wish that I had the picture perfect family with no killing or drugs, just happiness and normalness.
K Wit 2 years ago
My moms uncle sexually abused her cousin her whole life. One night she was found dead in the woods in the middle of a snowstorm w only her nightgown on and one sock. She was 14. My moms aunt found her diary after the funeral and that's when all the abuse came out. It was kept a secret from the family. Only my grandmother knew. She did tell my mom later on what really happened. Apparently my moms cousin was trying to escape another assault and tried to hide in the woods, which she said in her diary that was her only way to defend herself, and died of hypothermia. He never faced any consequences of course said she was a liar and made that stuff up bc she was mad at him for punishing her when he said no she couldn't go to the movies w friends and stuff like that. People like him can twist lie and maneuver their way into making people believe they are the victims and people fall for it
Tina Zimmer 2 years ago
I truly hope that there's a hell and special place there for him! I'm soo sorry your cousin had to endure this, including the shame the so called family out on her name after she died trying to protect herself.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Not really a secret, but one of my ancestors suffered from a mental illness. Not certain what, but possibly postnatal depression. Her family sent her away to a mental asylum and she never saw her kids again. She died years later. Her family weren't even able to go to her funeral/bring her body home since they lived a long way away and it couldn't be moved by horse and cart in the Australian bush before it decomposed.
Notyomama 2 years ago
My great uncle was on the spectrum. He had autism and epilepsy. He was married once upon a time. My Grandparents had to help him get a divorce. She was also special and her family prostituted her. She wound up with STDs. I am ashamed that my family didn't do more for her, but it was the deep south and there wasn't much recourse to be had. When I find out who that family was, I might blast it to the world. Depends. Also, my uncle who fought in WW2 caught his wife in bed with another man. Shot and killed him. Went to prison. Died on the streets of Texas.
Green Tree 2 years ago (edited)
My great grandmother was a black woman in the early 1900s American South. She was raped by a white man and had my grandfather. Poor kid grew up as a neglected outcast. When he was about ten it was decided to send him to live with distant family away from the south where he could be eventually ‘passed’ into white society. My grandfather is long gone but I remember him fondly. It breaks my heart what he went through and that he felt the need to take the secret to his grave. We found out through DNA matching. Racism is so stupid. Under the old slavery and segregation laws I would be considered black. I’m blonde and pale.
Patti Vance 2 years ago
i'm putting this out there in hopes that maybe i will get some info on a family secret. i may have to put it into two posts if limited by keystrokes. tried the genealogy route but didn't get too far so maybe someone out there has a dovetailed family story. my grandmother, born in 1917, eloped with a man when she was around 16-17. when she returned home her father did not accept the marriage because he wasn't portuguese and had it annulled. unbeknownst to him, she became pregnant with my aunt so what should have been a "legitimate" birth was now considered a bastard in his eyes. she was then married off to some wealthy older man whom she had my mom. the only piece of info i have on her hubby was the name andrew newton. this was in the east, possibly boston or philly. records have conveniently been lost or destroyed.
Lorraine Woollands 2 years ago
I had gay Uncle that was arrested in a Gents toilet in the 50's as he was trying to pick someone up for s&X. Oh and I have Aunt who used to help her husband interfere with their kids. It wasn't until the eldest daughter found that they had started interfering with youngest girl, that she final told on them. They had six kids, boys and girls and interfered with them all. He got put away for life and the Aunt went away for few years too for helping him.
Quinn Alexander 2 years ago
We're pretty standard, alcoholic asshat being the only real problem, although a family friend once told me he was attracted to my sister. She's an adult right now but he was an adult while she was a swaddling so it's still creepy as hell. Not much else though. There's tons of s**t my mom says she's not going to talk about though...
Cass Malone 2 years ago
My aunt had come to visit my parents when her husband had left her. Now idk why, but my mom decided to stay home with my sister and I (4 and NB respectively) while my dad took my aunt to the bar, try and lift her spirits. Well my dad had gone out to the car and passed out. He woke up to my aunt giving him oral, decided to go along with it like the idiot he is. My mom seemingly forgave him for 11 years, but ended up divorcing him. She never forgave her sister, and I don't blame my mom for either. (I was told this at 13)
Heather Menard 2 years ago
My father was a pedophile that molested my sister step sister and granddaughter. Thank god he didn't want anything to do with me. I call him the sperm donor.
Mrs. Jan Glass 2 years ago
My Mormon family still doesn't know that I was one of the protestors outside their temple in 2008, after the money from their church was used to overturn gay marriage in California. I also enjoyed pointing out to the homophobic shitheads on their big, church lawn that I'm a baptized (unwillingly) member of their church, and my ancestors were some of the biggest Mormons in the game when they first settled in SLC.
Lacy Smith 1 year ago
At 36 I found out that my dad isn’t my real father. I found a half sister on ancestry too old to belong to him. I asked my mom if there was someone else and sure enough it was the same name on my sister’s family tree. My dad still doesn’t know and I’m planning on never telling him because it would break his heart. I do have a relationship with my sister but when she meets any of my people I introduce her as a friend. I do wish I could tell the world that we are sisters but I can’t risk my dad finding out.
Lacy Smith 1 year ago
At 36 I found out that my dad isn’t my real father. Found out because I found a half sister on ancestry who was too old to belong to my dad so I asked my mom if there was someone else. She told me the name. Sure enough, same name on my sister’s family tree. My dad still doesn’t know. He thinks I’m his biological daughter and I’m never going to tell him otherwise. It would break his heart. Such a big secret to keep.
Shine Chisholm 2 years ago
One of my aunts had an "accident" to get life insurance money so they wouldn't lose the house. Her husband was in on it. Everybody would have preferred to keep her instead of getting the money.
Suzy the observer 2 years ago
Here are cute cat stories. We all need them. https://www.lovemeow.com/kittens-small-brave-strong-together-2657288581.html The site is LOVEMEOW
Related on Bored Panda
