‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Take it from an Aussie - we're not watching your goings-on with jealous admiration: we're watching with appalled horror.
So glad our kids don't have to worry about being killed when they go to school. None of this active shooter drills, metal detectors, security guards etc. And parents don't have to worry if our kids will make it home alive.
Credit to Foxxy for pointing this one out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO_vG_K4
Load More Replies...I was in primary school in the UK when Dunblane happened. Government immediately banned guns and I never had to worry about getting shot at school. Idk how it's a controversial decision to protect children.
I was a kid when inner cities started to see shootings at/near schools. I'm still waiting for someone to realize that not arming everyone from birth is a *good* idea, not a violation of rights. (Other than the right of others to not fear for their lives, of course.)
Load More Replies...That’s right, we don’t want to be you. We’re happy just the way we are. For the record, we had a gun amnesty and Aussies gave up their guns willingly because we knew that there are some things in this world that you just don’t need.
It's not like no one has guns in Australia though. My friends family has a firearm license and they keep their guns in a safe as per law, and they gave up their banned guns willingly.
Load More Replies...The amount of people that died by firearms in the USA throughout the last 20 years is higher than the number of fallen soldiers in every war the country had since 1776. So statistically it's safer in a warzone than being home for US citiziens
I agree with the point you are trying to make but that is not how statistics work. It is statistically safer at home in the US when you account for time (years of war vs years of US) and population (the amount of people who participated in a warzone vs the total amount of people in the US over that time).
Load More Replies...Sad that a child under 10 knows what active shooter means. Thank God I live in the UK
Soi when a father tries to protect his daughter from a rapist he is the one to be jailed. make sense
Load More Replies...I'm not sure what is more messed up about the U.S.: the lack of universal healthcare or the complete lack of gin control. Or the systematic racism or the militarised police or... I could be here all night. The civilised world just looks on in horror and sympathises with those with an appetite for change but limited power to effect it.
I didn't know what an active shooter meant until I watched an American cop show about a year ago. I had never even heard those words before. Hit's different. Hope y'all in America are ok <3
We’re doing just fine, America, all that free healthcare and stuff, all good down here, thanks 😊
"its really amazing that kids in Australia don't even need to know what active shooter means"
Honey, even most Americans don’t want to be the stereotypical us. Because we’re the portion of the population who are in possession of viable brain cells and aren’t in the habit of being loud assholes. Like you, we want the stereotypical us to STFU and crawl back under their rocks. Permanently. So please be considerate of the daily hell on Earth of everyone of the non-stereotypical Americans.
Spoken like someone who feels like James Bond when they hold a weapon. There are other ways to get self esteem and I assure no one sees you as James Bond.
We (America) NEED a gun law where you’re only allowed to have guns for self defense (but it stays in your home), your job (like the military), or hunting (but only if you have a license). And of course, background checks.
Here is the thing though, people still have access to guns. The difference is tighter regulation in regards to getting a firearm and no access to the ridiculous overpowered ones as no one needs them.
Yes! No civilian EVER needs automatic weapons!
Load More Replies...Well as crappy as the Rittenhouse thing is, and he deserves jail time, legally it's a bit of a grey area given the person he killed lunged for his gun. The real tragedy is that a 17 year old was given such easy access to a weapon like that and brainwashed into thinking he needed to use it. It's messed up.
Load More Replies...This is smthg Americans don't seem to understand.... In most parts of the world, mass shooting is simply NOT a thing! Dudes, in Belgium, we had the "tuerie du Brabant" ("brabant's slaughter"), 22 wounded and 28 dead, and the trauma was so great that we revised our law to be able to keep investigate 40 years later.......... BECAUSE IT'S NOT NORMAL!!!
It took Australia exactly one really terrible rampage commited by a total lunatic to realize that guns kill people. US instead just refuses to learn like somebody with a brain malfunction
I love Australia, my Husband used to own Guns and Rifles. The ammunition was kept in a Gun safe in the Garage. The Actual Gun safe for the fire-arms was hidden in the house. When he was working with his guns, the kids were not allowed in the same room with him. When they called the Gun Amnesty, he handed them in. He wasn't using them. So that was less $1200 per year in Fees and memberships that we had to pay, and that was back in 1980's. Never regretted it.
Lived in America for almost 15 years. Had kids, paid taxes, built careers and lives. Now the very thought of taking my brown boys back to that place terrifies me. Do better, US, you’re the best damn country in the world.
American patriotism can be so toxic with this “us and them” mentality. We will NEVER have equality with this mindset, let alone respect for humanity.
Australia Knows what an Active Shooter is. We have experienced One Too Many Shootings., We don't want Mass Murderers running around with weapons. We don't want to be getting phone calls from our schools saying there has been a shooting and several students are dead. It is bad enough seeing the shootings we do have, when are laws are so restrictive on Guns. People have guns, but they are licensed, they go to Gun Clubs and they are selective in who can own a gun. We can't buy a gun from K-Mart or Target or Aldi, or even the local news agency. If we want guns, we have to prove responsibility, join a Gun Club, Get a License , Then and only then, we can buy a Gun from a Specialist store or Gun Club. We have to have our Ammunition in a separate and approved Gun safe, far away from the ammunition safe which holds all the Ammunition. Not fully loaded and stuck under our pillow or in the top of the wardrobe. There is a lot of difference. We can't go shopping with a Gun in it's holster.
Some of us don't want to be "America" either. FYI - Most of us are just trying our best to make a living, be good to our family & friends & NOT take an UZI to work to mow down our co-workers. Just sayin',
I think both sides are the wrong argument. OP is right that everyone should be allowed to defend themselves. All countries that I'm aware of respect the fact in some way, and when it's always possible that what you have to defend yourself against is your own government then an population allowed to arm itself seems entirely reasonable. Also, the reply is correct, in that we've had a taste of lunatics with guns and we're not too fond of that. On the other hand, both seem to be implying or at least agreeing that Australia is unarmed, but that's just not true. We never "gave up our arms". Most people never had guns or an interest in them when the newer laws came in. Now still most people don't have guns, and we simply have more strict gun controls than we had. I recall when the laws came in because my mum guns and recall her being unsure if she'd have to hand any of hers in (I don't recall what the specific restrictions were). But either way she was still allowed guns, which she used at the pistol club, and I recall using her rifle myself for fun when I lived with her out woop woop for a while. She started shooting I presume because she felt unsafe in our neighbourhood, took a liking to it, then made a hobby of it and became reasonably good at it. She didn't have many female competitors, so she'd often compete with men and won a few trophies. So, we never did give up guns. You can get and keep a gun given you have a reason, and that reason might be as simple as recreation. There's just a little more oversight than there was on licencing and more restrictions on what guns can be legally acquired. But loads of people hunt with guns. Farmers generally have guns. And people use guns for fun. Plus, we don't have the kind of borders that guns and criminals can cross easily, nor neighbours who are currently an immediate threat. It makes no sense, or difference, if we had an "armed population" at this point in time. If a serious threat emerges, I'm sure people will take that into consideration. So, we should be allowed to have guns, and we are. Also, a culture or attitude that guns are a primary deterent to our government is probably not favourable because that will probably only likely result in people pushing the boundary of that freedom which would lead to problems. Access to weapons is a necessary protection to have and maintain, but we should probably try using words before bullets. Anyway, they're both wrong for having the argument in the first place because it's based on a fallacy. https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/FlagPost/2012/December/Australian_gun_laws
I am American and I'd prefer that we not have firearms here, so bravo to Australia!
I'm not even american but this stings. How can people think everyone wants to be an American, while every other person wants to run away from it?
You are absolutely correct. Most Americans don't want it to be this way either. The horrible and shocking have become commonplace.
Lots of Australians have guns though, it's just heavily regulated. It's not like you can't get any at all. My dad collected antique guns and when the law changed he gave up the ones on the banned list, but was allowed to keep the others with the updated license. (And yes antique guns were not exempt because anything with the potential to fire no matter how old had to be registered). He knew people at the shooting range who have guns legally. It's more that no one should want or need autos or semis and I agree, send there is no need to carry on public. There is no reason for a person to have that.
Load More Replies...i am 55yo and i don't know what active shooter means. saw it first time here🤷
Look at the tyrannical regime currently being inflicted on Australia. Wouldn't happen if they had guns.
Our ruling political party is trying its best to americanise as much of our country as possible... but there remains a reasonable % of people opposed to that insanity.
That's not true at all. https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2020/jan/13/facebook-posts/no-viral-post-isnt-correct-australias-gun-laws-vio/
Load More Replies...Why are so many Americans so unable to handle a little criticism? And why do you have to change the subject? The topic is gun control. Stick to it and make your point. Your other points are valid too, but they're not relevant here. You're bringing them up because you don't want to be criticized and because you don't have a response on the gun issue. That's a human way to feel, but be an adult, work through it, and give your response to the ACTUAL QUESTION. Maybe you agree and you don't want to say that out loud. Why is that? Is it because you're told since birth that to be a true American you have to agree it's the best country in the world (no country is that) and that it's above criticism (no country is that either)? Think a little.
Load More Replies...With a knife or a rock you can't kill dozens of people in seconds. With a knife or a rock, you have to get in close to kill a person, you can't do it from a distance or a hidden pisition. With a knife or a rock, you can be overpowered by multiple people defending themselves and others.
Load More Replies...Full nazi, are you f*****g serious? Such a load of bullshit.
Load More Replies...Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...