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Father Embarrassed After His Kid “Announces” To The Whole Family That They’ve Been Paying Their Own College Tuition Themselves
You often hear strict parents excuse their decisions by saying they know what’s best for their children and that they are doing everything from a place of love. However, the person who should feel that love, in reality, feels like they are not allowed to do anything and are forced to live a life they didn’t sign up for.
There are numerous stories of when children escape such families when they grow up and they are left with psychological trauma, or they just get loose of the chain and don’t achieve anything in life. Reddit user yeasothat shared their story of a controlling father who was very strict about grades and when he found out his child would be paying for their own education, he didn’t want to hear any of it.
More info: Reddit
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Reddit user yeasothat told their extended family that it wasn’t their dad who was paying for their college tuition and that led to the dad getting very mad about it
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) said that their aunt and uncle are paying for their cousin’s college and that doesn’t seem anything out of the ordinary as parents often help their children financially, especially when they are still at the beginning of their adult lives.
However, that is not how yeasothat wanted things to go in their family, even though they already have a college fund and wouldn’t need to worry about it too much.
Image credits: yeasothat
The college fund is already set up, but the OP felt that they were controlled by their dad all their life and didn’t want that to continue in college as well
Image credits: yeasothat
The problem lies in what that money would mean for the OP. They tell us a little bit about their dad so that we’ll understand where this repulsion towards the dad’s money comes from.
Turns out, the dad was quite strict all the time when OP was in middle school and high school. Anything lower than a B for a subject was unacceptable, the dad would approve the classes his child would take and they would have weekly meetings to discuss grades. To add to all this, yeasothat describes their father as having a temper, so that meant the OP would get screamed at and grounded quite often if the requirements didn’t meet the dad’s expectations.
Image credits: yeasothat
The OP felt that if they paid for themselves, they wouldn’t need to be as stressed about their grades and being yelled at
Image credits: yeasothat
Because the OP felt all this pressure, they decided they wouldn’t accept the money in the college fund as they didn’t want be always thinking about whether they would be yelled at for not performing the best and because they had a suspicion that it wouldn’t just mean being yelled at, but knowing their father, yeasothat thought their dad would refuse to pay anyway.
It seems that the extended family didn’t know about the situation and when the topic came up, the truth surfaced
Image credits: yeasothat
The OP just finished their first year of college and it seems that this topic wasn’t discussed with the extended family because when the costs of tuition did come up, their uncle asked the dad what the tuition cost.
The OP immediately interfered to prevent their dad from telling any lies he would come up with and said that the dad is not the one to be asked as he is not paying for it.
Turns out, the dad didn’t want everybody to know that their child is refusing money and scolded his child for embarrassing him
Image credits: yeasothat
What yeasothat said was the truth and they actually can be proud that they are able to get an education completely on their own. However, the dad had other thoughts and was really mad at his child for saying that to the family as it was embarrassing to him.
The OP answered some questions in the comments and the dad is convinced that the student is making the biggest mistake of their life. But what do you think of this story? Why do you think the dad was embarrassed that his child just wants to be independent and not controlled when they are all grown up? Tell us your reactions in the comments!
People on the internet say that they understand OP’s decision and feel like they didn’t do anything wrong just told the uncle everything as it was
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What do you think ?
Scagsy 3 years ago
NTA. Sounds like your dad has some control issues. You made the right decision to pay for your own tuition. i think it's great when parents take an interest in their child's education but your dad sounds a bit too over the top with it. Growing up is hard enough without the added pressure of a hovering parent. And there's nothing wrong in saying that you paid your own way through school. You did. He didn't. He needs to get over it. Well done for being independent.
Rachael Sampson 3 years ago
He definitely sounds abusive. OP needs to eventually cut ties with him. He's toxic.
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Assistant to DJ 3 years ago
Toxic father. Get distance, at his age the toxicity won't change, you're his child so he'll feel he has the right to treat you any way he wants, even if it's abusive. You're already on your way to becoming your own well-adjusted man, keep going, despite your father's nonsense. Live well, it's the best revenge.
KimB 3 years ago
As an only child, I understand this OP my parents were very strict and told me I had go pre-med or I'd regret it...I had a partial scholarship which meant I'd have to work full time while going to school to pay off the rest of the cost...well I knew even then that's really hard to do and it wouldn't leave much if any time to study (I graduated in 1994 and the WWW was really just beginning to take off) and studying is essential if you're going to hold at least a 3.0 gpa to later get into medical school...I decided that's not what I wanted to do so I changed my major to nursing...my dad was so mad he didn't talk to me for a whole year because of it! We ended up reconciling but it still hurt. I hope he can some day have a better relationship with his father.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
It's been so long since I heard it called the WWW, I had to think hard. I can't recall when it was dropped from URLs. Thanks for the memories. Glad your dad got over it. You be you.
Load More Replies... Scagsy 3 years ago
NTA. Sounds like your dad has some control issues. You made the right decision to pay for your own tuition. i think it's great when parents take an interest in their child's education but your dad sounds a bit too over the top with it. Growing up is hard enough without the added pressure of a hovering parent. And there's nothing wrong in saying that you paid your own way through school. You did. He didn't. He needs to get over it. Well done for being independent.
Rachael Sampson 3 years ago
He definitely sounds abusive. OP needs to eventually cut ties with him. He's toxic.
Load More Replies... Assistant to DJ 3 years ago
Toxic father. Get distance, at his age the toxicity won't change, you're his child so he'll feel he has the right to treat you any way he wants, even if it's abusive. You're already on your way to becoming your own well-adjusted man, keep going, despite your father's nonsense. Live well, it's the best revenge.
KimB 3 years ago
As an only child, I understand this OP my parents were very strict and told me I had go pre-med or I'd regret it...I had a partial scholarship which meant I'd have to work full time while going to school to pay off the rest of the cost...well I knew even then that's really hard to do and it wouldn't leave much if any time to study (I graduated in 1994 and the WWW was really just beginning to take off) and studying is essential if you're going to hold at least a 3.0 gpa to later get into medical school...I decided that's not what I wanted to do so I changed my major to nursing...my dad was so mad he didn't talk to me for a whole year because of it! We ended up reconciling but it still hurt. I hope he can some day have a better relationship with his father.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
It's been so long since I heard it called the WWW, I had to think hard. I can't recall when it was dropped from URLs. Thanks for the memories. Glad your dad got over it. You be you.
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