Murder most fowl

I hope their grandpa went viral and got his wish

Yes please!

Their tongue is long and wraps around it's brain to protect it during high speed pecking..

Coincidence? Hmm.

Sadly, OP would have smelt of horse, not corpses.

My cat does weigh 300 kilos but only in one paw at a time while stepping on me at night

I have never heard this song. Maybe that's why I'm such a mess. 😆

Damn, this is true.

Yes!!!

*bats 25 mangoes under the sofa*

this kid will grow up to be the class clown

Tinsnip got it right.

This makes me happy! Next thing will be a potato farm.

Butterflies use chrysalis. Moths use cocoons. Just saying.

Eye laughed at this! 🤓

Yes!!!!!

Try knitting or crocheting. I've been crocheting for so many years (decades) that sometimes I just watch my hands doing complex interconnected motions with absolutely no conscious input. They're like little machines.

The left holds a lot of shopping bags though. He pulls his weight in other ways.

My left hand is "give me a shout if you need a hand, otherwise leave me alone."

I don't know what you mean. I am left handed, but in school i was forcibly "re-educated" to write with my right hand. Hearing silent "whooooooa" when drawing graph with left hand while simultaneously writing the equation with right hand is still one of the fondest memories from uni.

What about those who are ambidextrous?

Your hand usually knows. Your brain is the a$$hole.

Did you ever realize that the way your signature looks on one of those sign with your finger computer releases looks exactly like it would if you had a stroke

I've always thought of it as an aid to hold something steady, like a nail in the wall, for example, and to make a pair because my right hand is practically useless for anything else, lol.

Not all of us....I text with my left and write with my right, can use a calculator with my left and write with my right at the same time...ambidextrous is what I is.

DOminant hand is: elder child syndrome. Expected to be competent, capable, able to hit the ground running for the good of the family (body). Non-dominant: Golden child. Spoiled, doesn't have to work really but will be blatantly and obviously protected from injury or removal, okay just being 'pretty' because hey the nail polish doesn't chip so do it nice on that hand....etc. ... In short I guess ambidextrous sorts are the only healthy family body part dynamics out there XD

Lefty is a good helper, did light factory work and Lefty was there to set up righty to keep things moving. We got paid extra for efficiency and I always hit the max

Kind of, but my left hand does everything and then my right only knows how to write

Nope. I taught my left hand to write and to be useful, otherwise its just hanging around doing much of nothing. Now, if I break my right hand the left one can step in and be of use.

So I am right handed, broke my right wrist. Left hand had no problem taking all tasks but signing my name. That's okay nobody minded the mess. Broken wrist healed, left hand said glad you're back and couldn't do anything on it's own again. Broke my left hand, 5th metacarpal and wrist bone right under it. Incapacitated 2 fingers. Right hand had no idea what to do without the left hand there to be it's backstop .. washing dishes, vacuuming, sweeping the floor, etc. When my right wrist was broken, I would put a plastic bag over my cast and wash dishes, hold wet cloth in right hand, use left hand to move the dish around until it was clean. Those 2 non-functioning fingers really made it hard to hold that wet dishcloth in the left hand.

There are things that my non-dominant left hand does better than my right hand, though. I think it's practice... I'm not the least bit ambidextrous, but the left hand isn't useless.

And neither of my hands can hold chopsticks very well.

My left hand is the hand that knows everything and then my right hand is just like "...I Held a piece of pizza once."

One hand does… everything. The other… exists.

Yes! My left hand is just there for esthetics

This made me actually laugh.

I'm a lefty, so lately I'm kinda practising writing with the right hand just for the fun of it, even made a little journal and I'm getting used to use a pencil with my "wrong" hand lol

Unless you're ambidextrous

My poor left hand has been the recipient of lots of pain over the years. Even had a drill bit go through it :)

It's worse if you were born a naturally left handed and had one of those teachers that forced right hand usage, then you have a useless hand and an unskilled hand that can't make a smooth line.

"I help"

What's weird is that the larger group "thinks" the smaller group is "wrong" and should be violently forced to switch so that everyone uses the same hand. Most of the world still does this.

Serves them right. They probably still have crickets in their home.

Well done. For those not familiar with champagne: The French are very protective of that word. Only sparkling wine from that exact region is allowed to carry the word "champagne" on the bottle. For every other wine with bubbles "sparkling wine" has to be used. Or Crémant. Edit: The Crémant part is incorrect, explanation see below. Reason for mistake: I was lazy.

Great puns, but he pun on the crow post is still the best.

Ooooh, it had to happen somewhere.

Black hole's name is Maude and she sees the sandwich in your hand

The answer to this problem was to let us include publication cost in proposal budgets. Just now being added - clean up and disposal costs for the project. Next up - accepting the fact that grad students *are* part of the cost of conducting research. NSF and NIH continue to leave them off the budget template as if they are not.

Food for thought.