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Swimming in warm water in the summertime. Placing the final piece of a puzzle that’s taken you months to complete. ‘Roasting’ someone online with a comeback so witty and so savage, they had to call the ‘Oh Snap’ and fire brigades. All three things have one thing in common—they’re all human experiences that make us feel gooood.
The ‘Clever Comebacks’ subreddit is one of the best places on the net to go to for awesome retorts that will forever be enshrined on the internet in online screenshots. Check out some of the most on-point and hilarious comebacks they posted ever. Remember to upvote your fave ones and we hope they’ll inspire you to show off your wit the next time someone says something dumb or has a go at you.
Bored Panda was interested to learn about what makes comebacks witty and about comedic timing, so we reached out to comedy writer and author of 'How to Live to 100,' Ariane Sherine. Read on to learn what she told us. What’s the best comeback that you’ve ever said or heard in real life, dear Readers? Do you think that the pen is mightier than the sword? Share your thoughts with all of us in the comments.
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#1
I Understand Completely
RELATED:
#2
Never Underestimate A Woman
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
I bet this same guy thinks he's qualified to talk about abortion even though he can't give birth.
#3
“Migrants Can’t Assimilate Into Society”
Comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that, in her opinion, witty comebacks can be both spontaenous and planned out. "I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."
She also pointed out something that honestly took me by surprise: "When it comes to stand-up, a lot of heckle putdowns are scripted and shared among comics." And here I thought that heckles were all instinctive and natural. I'll have to rethink some stuff about my fave comedians now.
#4
Love This Guy
#5
Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
#6
People Really Live In Their Own Little Bubbles
Ariane said that the line between a regular comeback and one that makes us snort into our cups of tea is clear for everyone to see. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." So no pressure then!
The beauty of comedy, according to Ariane, is that (sometimes) our subconscious mind kicks in and takes us by surprise, along with the audience. "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!
#7
Please Wear A Mask And Stay Safe
#8
You're The Problem
#9
Thank You Andy Wang!
Truth Monster 4 years ago
cultural gatekeeping has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever seen. The best and most inclusive societies culturally appropriate all. the. time.
The ‘Clever Comebacks’ community was founded in January 2018 and will be celebrating its 3-year anniversary very soon. In that time, they’ve amassed nearly 679k loyal members who are practicing the ancient art of the perfect comeback.
Personally, I think that comebacks are all about accurate, piercing, rapier-like wit. And the essence of wit is brevity, spontaneity, and stating the truth. It’s not a comeback if you spend an hour thinking about it and then another hour writing it out. Comebacks are the sniper rifles of the verbal battlefield. Not shotguns. Not machine guns. It’s all about one phrase—one roast.
The BBC tends to agree with my point of view. According to Rhea Wessel, witty comebacks can’t be planned—they can only be made in the moment. And timing is everything. Even if you come up with the perfect thing you could’ve said while you’re in the shower a day later, that amazing comeback is useless now. Too little. Too late.
#10
I Don’t Care If Repost Made Me Laugh
#12
British Museum
That’s actually the beauty of comebacks. Sometimes, you end up just as surprised by your wit as everyone else is. It’s like, for a single beautiful moment, the Spirit of Absolute Roasting possessed you and gave you glorious guidance.
Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio in Frankfurt, told the BBC that we can improve our wit by giving ourselves just a bit of extra time to craft a great answer. Strangely enough, that involves becoming a better listener. We need to train ourselves to listen to others and respond appropriately, instead of tuning out and only thinking about the points we want to make in the discussion. That way, you’ll be more than ready to mount a witty defense because you won’t be caught unaware.
#13
This Is A Really Good Reply To Trump's Tweet
#14
Raw Skiny Jeans Bat
#15
Useless Trees
#16
What An Awful Way To Protect The Elderly
#17
Rage Against Something
#18
Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
#19
Separate Payments
#20
They Also Don't Come In Exciting Anime
#21
Depression vs. Asthma
#22
Big Footprints To Fill
#23
Not Mine But On Point
#24
Another Reason To Love The Beatles
#25
Elite Finish
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
What kind of relationship is that. We don’t have his money or my money, it is OUR money.
#26
Flameproofing? But My House Isn't On Fire!
#27
Flat Earthers Make Me Happy Because I Know I'm Not A Complete Failure
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Is this just a joke to tease flat earthers or do flat earthers actually use the “flat” horizon as their argument? Do they not realise that we can’t see the curve because the earth is so large.
#28
Does This Count? The Author Actually Replied Back To Me Lmao
#29
That Last Line Though
#30
Left vs. Right
Wendillon 4 years ago
Well...I shouldn't have laughed. One ticket to hell please.
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Łukasz Markuszewski 4 years ago
If someone want to see rightwing architecture this person should check on how cities were looking like before the war. Dark and dirty slums without water, heating and toilets, overcrowded, inhabitated by underpaid industry workers, few families in every flat. This was quite normal before that terrible socialist modernism came and create public housing, planned neighbourhoods with green areas, light and schools so the people could finally live in decent conditions.
Catarina Vilar 3 years ago
And they just had to rob, enslave and kill millions of people to do it, what ingenious people they were! Also, France and Belgium really needed an upgrade right? Paris especially was a great example of dark and dirty slums at the time. And all those poor jews with all their art collections, beautiful mansions and economic power were really living in insufferable conditions before the war.
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Janet Bird 4 years ago
This is a very scary thread. I hope a lot of these Pandas are the younger end and know no better. :'(
Tina Hugh 4 years ago
I think we’ve mostly all got the same good moral values, but we have different perspectives. But calling people on the right Nazis is similar to Trump calling BLM protestors Antifa rioters. It’s not reasonable and if there’s one thing this country needs more of, it’s reason.
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Norma Luce 4 years ago
This is the entrance to a WWI concentration camp in case anyone is wondering.I
Jonathan Armstrong 4 years ago
Ok, this comment section seems to have been hit by multiple serial killers. Lots of murder with words here. Anyway, I cam here to ask what the top building is. I may just be stupid or not really thinking about it.
Ruth Mayfly 4 years ago
Apart from this, some of the new and very much for-profit giant blocks of flats are just as depressing as those....socialist/communist?....ones.
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
Bare concrete buildings are just ugly in general.
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Marek Yanchurak 4 years ago
Perhaps, but they are not both equally awful.
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Claire Armstrong 4 years ago
Lol, powerful response but I have a sneaky feeling that they won't understand it!!
Ruth Mayfly 4 years ago
Turns out, groups sometimes give themselves deliberately misleading names to appeal to more people. Like 'National socialists' to appeal to both sides of the political spectrum, then as soon as they obtained power they killed all the socialists in the party, banned communist groups and imprisoned trade unionists. I don't know if you're misinformed or deliberately ignorant, but either way this is pretty poor.
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Hamilton Lover 4 years ago
I may be wrong, but, I think the second picture is of Nazi Germany
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Marek Yanchurak 4 years ago
Second one is a concentration camp from WWII.
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Kim Bush 4 years ago
It is one of the most evil structures still standing on this earth
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CHANCE HARDWICK 4 years ago
The european political spectrum has the nazis as far right, but the american political spectrum would have them as far left .
John Otruba 4 years ago
I believe that a NAZI concentration camp...ultimate Socialist solution?
Marek Yanchurak 4 years ago
*sigh* Nazi were not socialists. Read a book once in a while...
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BluEyedSeoulite 4 years ago
About as left wing as North Korea is "democratic."
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H Edwards 4 years ago
Yes... far-left and far-right regimes had a lot in common. Extremes are always a bad idea. At school in the 1990s our history teacher explained it like a circle. Go far enough in either direction and you basically meet in the middle.
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H Edwards 4 years ago
Both far left and far right ideologies are dangerous and have led to many deaths. Nobody advocating socialism is asking for Mao, Stalin or Pol Pot. If you are politically right wing, I have to assume that you are not asking for a regime similar to Hitler, Mussolini or Pinochet. Socialism can and does work just fine in many countries.
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H Edwards 4 years ago
They called themselves socialists, but they were ideologically far-right. That's indisputable, in the same way that it is indisputable that the Earth is not flat. Some people still like to try and make the argument. Using a word doesn't make something true - look at the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
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Tiari 4 years ago
You obviously have no idea what political left and right means...
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#31
They Did Not See This Coming
#32
Columbus Day
Truth Monster 4 years ago
End up in a random aisle and whatever you find there is now "Indian Food."
#33
Austin Powers Would Be Proud Of That Comeback
#34
'im Tired Of Being Responsible For Something That Is Entirely My Resposibility.'
#35
I Love Puns
#36
Who’ll Email You When You Block Him
#37
Can't Get Any More Clever Than This
Kirsten Kerkhof 4 years ago
I will never have the guts to send a reply like that, but by Golly, I wish I would ...
#38
Invasive Species
#39
Don’t Boast About Your Iq Test
#40
Oof! British People Be Like...
#41
Honesty Is The Best Policy
#42
I Mean, He's Not Wrong ..
#43
Depends On Who Writes The Comic
#44
Boomer vs. Millenial
#45
It’s Funny Because It’s True
#46
She Isn’t A Walking Womb
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
F**k this molyneux d**k. He was banned from speaking here (new zealand) in 2018 I think, the brainless monstrous mosque shooter donated to his causes and his petition to be allowed to do his stupid speaking event in NZ. Then murdered the innocent souls in cold blood at one of our mosques. So that's the kind of person who supports this fuckwad. No thanks. (NB not meaning to mislead, I'm personally agnostic, but say "our mosques" just as I would say "our churches/synagogues/temples/etc". A kiwi is a kiwi. A person is a person.)
#47
Weird Motives
wandile dludlu 4 years ago
I wonder if the so called "1st world" countries know that here in the 3rd world, we drive both and are required to pass your driving test using a stick shift
#48
Especially Clever
Vikram Bedi 4 years ago
If everyone starts using the toilet marked “ me” then “ everyone else “ would be left clean...
#49
Facebook Comeback
Helen Haley 4 years ago
The waiter is providing a valuable service with very little likelihood of customer death.
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Ray Martin 4 years ago
These are all excellent, but the Roomba one made me nearly spit coffee.
Panda Mona 4 years ago
Yes, great burns! But I had to google "Roomba" because I thought this was one of the 50% of wild species I just do not know by name :-)
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Vicky Zar 3 years ago
I‘ve got a comeback story, but I am not sure if you can call it good. Could some jewish persons please tell me if it is insulting or something? Or maybe you even like it? God, I really don‘t know if I should post it, but I am curious about your reactions. I‘ve heared it only second hand. You have to know beforehand, that Germany has many imigrants. Especially from Turkey. And some of them do not really integrate in our society. If I remember correctly the president of Turkey even demanded that Germany should build Schools for the Turkish living here.... but I might have misunderstood that. Nevertheless, some Germans are a bit ... miffed about the Turkish here. Anyway, here is the story: In an underground train in Germany some Turkish teens come in and make a ruckus. An old german Lady asks them to be quiet or mind their manners or something. But they don‘t listen. Insted they tell her that the Turkish will take over Germany anyway. //part 1
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
//part 3: obviously this is not funny in regard of the jews part, but it is a „good“ comeback in that situation.... or isn‘t it? Please tell me what you think! I don‘t even know if this story is true or an urban legend.
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Catherine Spencer-Mills 4 years ago
"Coronavirus is a fraud! It's just the flu!" According to the CDC, last year there were less than 34,000 deaths from influenza. This year we are over 300,000 deaths. No matter what you call it, it isn't good.
Aliquid A 4 years ago
if 90% of the people reading BP either find this funny, or just roll their eyes and move on... it isn't polarizing... upsetting *you* isn't the definition of polarizing, when you clearly represent a fringe group.
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Ray Martin 4 years ago
These are all excellent, but the Roomba one made me nearly spit coffee.
Panda Mona 4 years ago
Yes, great burns! But I had to google "Roomba" because I thought this was one of the 50% of wild species I just do not know by name :-)
Load More Replies... Vicky Zar 3 years ago
I‘ve got a comeback story, but I am not sure if you can call it good. Could some jewish persons please tell me if it is insulting or something? Or maybe you even like it? God, I really don‘t know if I should post it, but I am curious about your reactions. I‘ve heared it only second hand. You have to know beforehand, that Germany has many imigrants. Especially from Turkey. And some of them do not really integrate in our society. If I remember correctly the president of Turkey even demanded that Germany should build Schools for the Turkish living here.... but I might have misunderstood that. Nevertheless, some Germans are a bit ... miffed about the Turkish here. Anyway, here is the story: In an underground train in Germany some Turkish teens come in and make a ruckus. An old german Lady asks them to be quiet or mind their manners or something. But they don‘t listen. Insted they tell her that the Turkish will take over Germany anyway. //part 1
Vicky Zar 3 years ago
//part 3: obviously this is not funny in regard of the jews part, but it is a „good“ comeback in that situation.... or isn‘t it? Please tell me what you think! I don‘t even know if this story is true or an urban legend.
Load More Replies... Catherine Spencer-Mills 4 years ago
"Coronavirus is a fraud! It's just the flu!" According to the CDC, last year there were less than 34,000 deaths from influenza. This year we are over 300,000 deaths. No matter what you call it, it isn't good.
Aliquid A 4 years ago
if 90% of the people reading BP either find this funny, or just roll their eyes and move on... it isn't polarizing... upsetting *you* isn't the definition of polarizing, when you clearly represent a fringe group.
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