Have you ever thought of the best comeback only after it was too late? Right before bed, while taking a shower or standing in an elevator, you get your light-bulb moment: “Ahh, why didn't I think of it before?” The French even came up with a term for that, l'esprit de l'escalier—the spirit of the staircase—and it means that the perfect retort arises only when it doesn't matter anymore.
However, this does not apply to everyone. A select few have the superpower of coming up with snappy one-liners on the spot, and the r/CleverComebacks subreddit is the site to go for these legendary comments. As the moderators put it, “If someone just got shown up, this is the place to post it.“
So make sure to scroll down and upvote your favorite retorts! And if you can't get enough of snappy comebacks, make sure to check out Bored Panda's previous posts here, here and here.
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He Was Asking For It!
If you'd like to share a post on the “Clever Comebacks“ subreddit page, there's a few rules you need to follow. Firstly, you should know what a witty comment is. According to the moderators, it's “responses to someone that, for lack of a better word, roasts them.” Also, baseless insults, tasteless jokes, “no, u” style replies are what they call garbage content, and nobody likes them.
When you think about it, the only obvious goal when trying to think of a snappy comeback is to get a good laugh and share your original thought. And the same applies to real-life situations. If you hate those awkward moments when your friends or coworkers throw you a snide comment and everything that comes to your mind just sounds lame, don't worry. In real life, not many people can be as clever as Dr. House or Chandler Bing, but there's a few ways you can improve your reactions and become wittier.
Bless This Woman
One of the things that could make you better is the world of improv acting. When it comes to showing your wit, timing is everything. The reply should be as spontaneous as the words that took you by surprise. One way of improving would be to become a better active listener. As Abigail Paul, workshop facilitator and training developer, told the BBC, “people think faster than others speak, giving the listener “extra time“ to compose an answer, even while they give the appearance of still listening to what the other person is saying.”
Come to think of it, there have been many times when we already wanted to share an idea with the person who's not yet finished talking. “Most of us don't listen to the whole message,” Paul said, “we are just waiting to make our own points.” So if you want to whip out snappy remarks, you should actively listen to what the other person is saying and use the unexpected material she or he gave you.
Not Be A Baby Machine
This Always Makes Me Laugh
Sometimes, when we receive a biting remark, we might feel offended. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, said that negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity. So when it comes to your coworker who constantly tosses you rude remarks, remember that responding positively might ease the pressure and keep projects going smoothly. ”Positive witty comments build trust among colleagues, bosses and subordinates, and they can turn a formerly harsh environment into an accepting one,” Raffy said.
It Was Social Distancing Haha
Clearly this person got their prehistoric knowledge from watching The Flintstones.
They Don't Give A Damn
Can I interest you in some fairtrade organic aloe for that... BURN?!?!?!
Another great tip would be silencing your inner critic: “It’s about letting go of the need to judge ourselves,” Raffy explains. You should try saying what's on your mind without thinking about it. In improv theater, actors try to let go of their inner voice and give in to their “deepest fantasies” in order to say something spontaneous that they would never say in real life.
Oof. That Burn Needs Some Love
German History Lesson
- printing press - light bulb - telephone - tape recorder - turntable - mp3 - tv - first freely programmable computer - generator - automobile - jet engine - helicopter - jeans - toothpaste - periodic table of elements - theory of relativity - x-rays - nuclear fission - bacteriology - aspirin Just to name a few.
A Punchline From Twitter, Does This Count As A Meme?
Let's not forget the brands that make clever comebacks a key part of their communication with customers. One obvious example is the fast-food chain Wendy's and their made-up social media holiday—National Roast Day. Their communications team does not hold back when it comes to witty replies in their social channels. The question is, do the customers actually value it?
Someone Needs A Refresher On Anatomy
That's A Good Proof
Exactly. It's similar to those chain mails/posts that claim only a certain (small) % of people can solve the puzzle/see something. And thus the masses excitedly forward the mail/repost to show the world their accomplishments. Chain mail/post objective accomplished!
Load More Replies...These prove me wrong posts are inane. “name a fish that has an a in it , bet you can’t”. “Name a word that starts with v and ends in y, bet you can’t.” When I see my friends responding to these posts on FB, I question their mental health.
One of the reasons I am not on Facebook anymore. Those posts were pointless.
Load More Replies...How did the reply miss "fool"? Was the first thing in mind after "food"... Maybe too loose-hanging froot.
My first thought was foot, but fool is way better fitting.
Load More Replies...Hmmm I’m going to try and troubleshoot for this goof. Maybe they need to take the hood off their eyes and stop being a fool. Or maybe there isn’t enough blood rushing to their brain. Or in the unlikelihood they’re not a preschooler, or haven’t been drinking moonshine, maybe they’re just in the wrong neighbourhood
This tirade is most probably beyond that poor fool's comprehension. Although obvious to us, it's humor is lost on him, one could even call it moot. But let's not give him the boot, we shall remain hopeful and sow generously the seeds of knowledge in the hopes he and others soon see the good we can achieve together. Some optimists would even say say we can jump through hoops and loops!
Just to be clear, these are all the double-o words the person included in their sentence: pr🅾🅾f.......presch🅾🅾l.......childh🅾🅾d.......ch🅾🅾sing.......b🅾🅾ks.......t🅾🅾ls..............nolyw🅾🅾d/hollyw🅾🅾d.......st🅾🅾l.......classr🅾🅾m.......c🅾🅾rdination.......h🅾🅾ligan
Good god, what a tool. He should really pull that foot out of his mouth and read a book. There's a lovely little nook next to a brook where you can lie and eat food, read a book, heck you could even bring a stool to read your book next to the brook. Just don't say boo if you come upon him or he may just poo.
These posts are comment bait. They are not serious. They're waiting for everyone to come along screaming "you idiot!!" and then they get thousands of comments, which means traffic, which means a higher reward from the algorithm for the page overall. Don't reward them with comments. Ever. You're being duped.
Because they know people will comment. Algorithms don’t care what the comments are, they just fill in the data that there are lots of comments.
Load More Replies...That comeback is not ALL the proof you need, oh smooth one🤣. But, I’m sure you are in a good mood doodling, drooling and eating boogers in a, dark room somewhere.
Bravo to the clever genius who created this. You really used your noodle.
Posts like these are interaction-bait to boost them in the algorithm
Got Roasted By A Police Twitter
A survey by Sprout Social suggests that such responses are actually not appreciated by customers. Brand personality should connect your product to its consumers but as it turns out, that's not always the case. Sprout surveyed 1,000 consumers on which traits they want brands to share on social media and what action behaviors like humor or friendliness cause.
It Is Funny But True
Yep May Be It Is True
It's not illegal to seek asylum. Also, documented immigrants have lower rates of committing violent, property, or drug crimes than native-born citizens. Undocumented immigrants have rates even lower than them. The anti-immigrant, xenophobic fear-mongering that happens here is ridiculous and repulsive. Here's the research if anyone needs to educate friends or family: https://www.pnas.org/content/117/51/32340
Whatever Your Weakness, There's A Hellion To Exploit It
do you think Jeff has anymore d*** rockets? I need to get off this planet, permanently
It seems that “three-quarters of consumers surveyed believe there’s value in brands exhibiting humor on social but only one-third actually want brands to bring on the snark full force.” The majority of consumers buy from brands that are honest, helpful and friendly. “It turns out that at the end of the day, consumers want brands to use social as a customer care channel”, Sprout explains. So while this kind of risky brand personality offers you a great deal of exposure, it seems that it's actually bad for business.
Most Of Us Are Too
Elon Musk Gets Destroyed By Facts And Logic
Simple Math To Hard
Lastly, for a clever comeback to be considered great, it has to be honest. "The best retorts speak truth — when a person calls something that the other people didn't see," said Paul. "That's generally what makes us laugh." So if you think of a clever comeback that's piercingly accurate and say it right there on the spot, you feel absolutely great because you know that you've earned it.
True Perfection Has Been Achieved
Old But Gold
Congratulations to Australia for deporting her when she acted like a brat about quarantining.
Accessible Parking, But Only During Office Hours
I Swear It Was On
Jesus Statues vs. Police State
Finnally A Manager Making A Comeback
Found This While Browsing Instead Of Sleeping
Would You Like Some Whine With That?
F*cking Sheep
English Unchanged
He Makes A Good Point
Technically He Spoke Genders Into Existence Because By His Very Word He Can Create
I Prayed For Help And God Sent Doctors With The Vaccine, I Said "No Thanks, I'm Waiting For God To Help Me"
One For The Burn Ward
Mindy Kaling Shuttin’ ‘Em Down
Not Sure What Is The Objective Is Here?
Nasa Is Untrustworthy
It Really Is The Churches Motto Tho
The Real Deal
even if he stays out of the emergency room (which he should) he'll still impact others, either by transmitting the disease to the vulnerable or to spread misinformation.
She Seems So Dumb
I'll pay 38 dollars for a burrito if it means someone is able to pay their bills
I'm Not A Gamer For Nothing
Why Do Some People Want Others To Have It Bad Cruz They Had ? Hope This Isn't Already Here
why is there such a big obsession with the military, I mean killing others or getting yourself killed is hardly a good thing
Look I Made A Joke
you can't spell stupid without u, except this probably isn't a coincidence
Does Jlo Have A Reply To That?
In 1919 And 1920, At The Very Start Of His Career, Tolkien Worked On The Staff Of The Oxford English Dictionary; He Later Said Of This Time That He “.. Learned More In Those Two Years Than In Any Other Equal Period Of My Life”
It Works Both Ways!
honestly pack your bags and leave, save your husband the trouble
He Wants The Ring Please
Don’t Mistake Empathy For Weaknesses
Getting Schooled
how do people who barely managed a high school degree get into parliament?
Fake Incest Go!
State Representative Got Owned!
It disgusts me to my core when adults use children to further their political or personal ideology.
He Really Went There
At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
Load More Replies...This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
Load More Replies...So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
Load More Replies...At least not all people are terrible. You seem pretty chill.
Load More Replies...This is like a rollercoaster ride. As my faith in humanity gets eroded away by the amount of idiocy on display, I am also thoroughly entertained by the burns that followed and hence replenished enough of said lost faith.
I love a good clever comeback . What I don't love is social media articles aimed at scorning different sets of people , dividing them and causing fighting that has escalated beyond the phone or computer screen. When you talk down to people because they hold different beliefs than you , it's not a clever comeback ... it's being a jerk. Stop falling victim to social media click bait tactics . Start being kind to one another
Already seen most of those before on bored panda. Stop posting the same stuff just to write articles
In my opinion, communism has never actually been established. There have been many nations claiming to be communist (USSR, China, North Korea) but they never actually were. It is my thought that the only way it can actually be established is not by revolution and declaring a change of economy but rather the evolution of capitalism. Of course human greed will make this a very hard thing to do.
Nice try comrade. I guess the Nazis just didn't the whole nazism really right
Load More Replies...So f**k off and go and masturbate over Fox News then.
Load More Replies...