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Mom Furious As Daughter’s Christmas Anti-List Calls Out Years Of Unwanted Gifts, Family Is Amused

Mom Furious As Daughter’s Christmas Anti-List Calls Out Years Of Unwanted Gifts, Family Is Amused

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Ah, Christmas…the time when your gift-giving skills are put to the ultimate test. From the heartfelt to the downright bizarre, gifts have a way of sparking joy, or complete bewilderment. Nothing captures the holiday spirit quite like the frantic hunt for something meaningful that doesn’t end up collecting dust and regrets.

Sometimes, you nail it with a present that’s both thoughtful and practical. Other times, you’re stuck with socks so outrageous even your dog won’t touch them. So, what do you do when the holiday cheer turns into an avalanche of clutter? One Reddit user had a bold solution.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Gift-giving at Christmas sounds fun, until you end up with another pair of socks you’ll never wear

    Image credits: stockboy / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    One woman had a bold idea to stop receiving useless stuff for Christmas, creating a “Things not to buy me list” for the family, but not everyone was happy about it

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    Image credits: macniak / Freepik (not the actual photo)

    The woman’s mother asked the family to write things they want as gifts, but the woman is not excited about any presents, as she always ends up with too much stuff she can’t use

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    Image credits: dragonimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: ChristmasListAhole

    The woman created an “anti-list” of things she doesn’t want for Christmas, starting a trend within the family but upsetting her mom

    Our Reddit storyteller, a 33-year-old woman, found herself at the center of a holiday debate that’s got her family divided like it’s the North Pole versus the South Pole. Her crime? She created a “Christmas anti-list.” Basically, a list of things she doesn’t want to get. I’m not sure if it’s genius or just a Grinch move.

    Instead of sticking to the tried-and-true wish list format, aka a Google doc designed by mom for the entire family, the OP (original poster) decided to sprinkle in some helpful “Do Not Buy” items to steer her well-meaning family away from the usual suspects.

    Among the no-go items: throw blankets, jewelry, “fun” socks, and pretty much anything that screams “assemble me.” She’s over it with getting things she doesn’t use, like slipper socks destined for the Island of Misfit Gifts.

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    Her mom, however, a holiday shopping enthusiast who starts planning Christmas like she’s running Santa’s workshop, was not amused. According to mom, the anti-list was a Grinch move. Worse, she felt personally attacked because, as it turns out, she’s been the chief culprit behind most of the anti-list items. Slipper socks? Check. Throw blankets? Double check.

    And if that wasn’t enough to ruffle her tinsel, the anti-list trend started spreading. Soon, the brother, his wife, an uncle, and a cousin all joined in, even joking about a secret anti-list for their kids to dodge noisy, messy toys. The family is now split: some see the anti-list as a holiday hero while other view it as a Christmas catastrophe. So, is the anti-list naughty or nice?

    We can’t start that debate without addressing the elephant in the room—or in this case, the pile of unwanted Funko Pops. Making an anti-list isn’t about being ungrateful; it’s about communication. Think of it as a roadmap for more meaningful gifting, where everyone saves money, time, and closet space.

    Gift-giving is more than just exchanging stuff; it’s one of the five love languages, alongside words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch and acts of service. People whose love language is giving and receiving gifts prefer to show their love (and be shown) and affection through gifts.

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    For some, the perfect gift is a tangible symbol of their love and attention to detail. But when the socks don’t spark joy or the jewelry feels impersonal, it’s easy to see how miscommunication can happen. Understanding someone’s taste can be tricky, but when done right, a thoughtful gift can make someone feel truly seen and appreciated.

    Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

    You probably didn’t know this but, the tradition of Christmas gift-giving goes way back. It’s said to be inspired by the biblical story of the Three Wise Men presenting gifts to baby Jesus, as well as ancient Roman festivals like Saturnalia, where people exchanged tokens as a sign of goodwill.

    Over time, this evolved into the modern frenzy of holiday shopping, which defeats the original purpose. While the sentiment remains—spreading joy and showing appreciation—sometimes the practice can feel more about crossing items off a list than creating meaningful connections.

    Then there’s the dark side of holiday gifting: clutter. The pros say that clutter can elevate stress levels and negatively impact mental health. When your home starts to resemble a storage unit, it can feel overwhelming and hard to relax. By reducing unnecessary items, like those “fun” socks and quirky knickknacks, you’re not just saving space, you’re also creating a more peaceful, functional environment that’s easier on the mind.

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    Mom’s reaction to her daughter’s anti-list, however, isn’t uncommon, as gift-giving can feel deeply personal, especially for parents. When a gift is rejected, even indirectly, it can feel like a rejection of the relationship or effort behind it. For mom, the anti-list might have hit a little too close to home, given her track record with past gifts.

    I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the OP is the bad guy here. She’s trying to make everyone’s life easier, including her own. Plus, her anti-list isn’t some Scrooge-like decree to cancel Christmas—it’s a helpful guide with a sprinkle of honesty. And let’s not forget, her family did start hopping on the anti-list bandwagon, so clearly, she’s onto something.

    Sure, the execution might need a little finessing (maybe a pre-anti-list pep talk with mom), but the idea is solid. After all, the holidays should be about giving gifts that make people smile, not stress over where to store yet another throw blanket. And, if mom really wants to avoid the dreaded “boring” gift cards, there’s a simple way around that: opting for experiential gifts instead of material ones.

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    Concert tickets, cooking classes, or escape room vouchers would make cool Christmas gifts. Also, subscription services, like wine of the month, book clubs, or even a streaming service upgrade would be great ideas.

    So, what do you think of this story? Is this Redditor a genius or a Grinch? Drop your comments below!

    Netizens were divided on this one, some saying that the woman is not a jerk for creating the anti-list while others suggest she could have found a better way to do it

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's a completely rational thing to do. I get it's "not in the holiday spirit," but it's in the spirit of saving hurt feelings, waiting in lines to return it, donating it, or throwing it in the trash or a corner somewhere to be forgotten. Adults, typically, have enough things, and they accumulate. People don't know what to buy others because they already have what they need. This is exactly why my family stopped exchanging gifts and have a meal together and enjoy each other's company. That's what the holidays are for. It's been so stress free since then. A lot cheaper, too. And I agree that holidays are for kids, but no kids in our family. Just adults.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm all for a "Do Not Buy" list. I cannot tell you how many times my mom has gifted/bought me things that she KNOWS I won't wear/use (and that I've told her I will not wear/use) and then over the next few months, she'll ask me things like "Why don't I ever see you wearing the sweater I got you???" [the ludicrously thick, heavy, and fluffy sweater that is completely unnecessary because we live in Southern California and it's rarely colder than 60F even in December] - or she'll gift me perfumes, which trigger migraines in me (she knows this) and then will ask for months why she never smells the perfume on me. I would be SO happy to have a "please don't get me any of the items on this list" list. I really don't understand why a family member would be offended that you don't want (for example) a pair of slipper-socks or "fun socks". That feels an awful lot like said family member is trying to push THEIR likes/wants onto you and not respecting the things that YOU like/want XD

    Load More Replies...
    Gwyn
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have a take on the issue at hand but will say if she's that hard up for space she should donate and free up space just for her own comfort. Give away 3 of those 4 pairs of slippers. And consider just taking what Mom gives you (or asking for jackets, sweaters) and donating that as well. There are a lot of people who have almost nothing out are homeless in need of keeping warm and fed, and you can do some good for them.

    William Teach
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On one hand, I understand. I kept getting nice sweaters, but, I rarely wear them. I'm a static cling monster, so, they can be uncomfortable. I told relatives "no sweaters" this year. On the other hand, just take the gifts in the spirit they were offered and donate them.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, both sides make sense, just for very different personalities. I don't think it's the actions that are the problem but more that mom is taking it personally and OP is very practical, focused on the information and not on delivery. Mom being sensitive and OP being no nonsense is not a problem, but neither is good at understanding the other is different and givign benefit of the doubt.

    Load More Replies...
    Danissa Pearson
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, I'd much rather know outright what someone doesn't want than risk getting it for them thinking they'll like it. Especially if they have a hard time thinking of what they DO want. She didn't direct it at the mom, she just used past unwanted gifts as a guideline.

    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think an anti-list is against Christmas spirit, on the contrary. It helps people to chose a gift which *will* be appreciated AND to keep it a surprise. You know what you won't have at Christmas but you don't know what you will be given. It's a smart move :)

    Angela C
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think OP is an àsshole but she could have approached the subject a bit more diplomatically. After all the only reason a list like this is needed is when people insist on buying you things you don't want or need.

    Charoltte Mike
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never believed initially that it'll be so successful investing bitcoin and stocks with Mr Harold Kendrick, despite the fact I invested a little amount as a beginner, I'm so glad I withdraw my $31,000 profit successfully. Contact him directly ᴏɴ Watsap+ 44 7407600166.

    Big Chungus
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually help run our family Christmas with my mom and do a list as well for everyone. I would rather have both options of what you want/what you don't want so money is not wasted

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get both sides here. For families going through this (& since Xmas was just yesterday), if you know you’re hard to shop for & you have people like this mom who really want to get you presents come Xmas time, start making a list NOW. Any time you run across something that you like but don’t want to spend the money on, put in on your Xmas list. This way come the end of the year, Mom will be thrilled that she’s got a list of things that you really want & you don’t have to stress trying to come up with a list at the last moment. But there’s also nothing wrong with a list of things that you already have plenty of, imo.

    Stacy Bender
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is actually pretty funny and logical. My hubby and I are hard to by for as well. Plus, we like having a small house, so that if something comes in something has to go out. Sounds like OP needs to declutter the closets in their home and not worry that they received them as gifts.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously, NTA! Its just my mom and I anymore and if we need something, we'll just get it! Xmas is anti climactic and we don't really celebrate, but we do have a big dinner. We'll jokingly ask each other what we want and maybe we'll splurge and get it, but if not, no big deal.

    CBolt
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA - A list like that would be very helpful. People like OP's mom seem to give what they THEY think the recipient SHOULD want or need & could really use the guidance of an anti-list so they don't end up wasting their $ on completely inappropropriate, unwanted, unused items.

    Lene
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the "do not buy"-list idea. If op is really that difficult to buy for, at least do not buy *those* things. 😊 but if op is so low on space for stuff she could always ask for gift cards to grocery stores (if that's a thing at the stores she use), gift baskets (it's just a basket full of nice sweets and drinks in my country but could also be themed to "cleaning supplies", "hobby supplies", "make up", "socks" (I know op wouldn't like this), and "decorations for X holiday"). There's also the idea of donating to a charity in her name. Or giving her experiences (gift cards to restaurants, movie theaters, bowling, skating, museums, concerts...). So many ideas that may suit a person like op. And the family should totally go for such, imo.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that the anti gift list is a great idea!! It sure beats getting useless unwanted stuff that ends up taking up space in your room unnecessarily. It sure beats hurting feelings because most likely you're going to return or regift it if you can't return it. Sometimes the giver finds out and drama happens. In my case, I am hard to buy for I am thin,have odd taste,. I fit into multiple sizes am not " my age"/ a grown up ( except when I have to pay bills and do what is necessary, boring lol). People are better off giving me gift cards or cash. There's lots of people that the list is a perfect solution to use. I didn't expect or ask for anything at all for Christmas.

    Anna Drever
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother usually lets us buy on her behalf for the family now as she’s elderly but in years past she bought us some gosh awful things, even though we’d said we don’t want ‘things for the sake of things’. How do you stop someone whose love language is crappola? Nowadays it’s booze and choccies which is much better.

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to tell my dad every year that I don't want slipper socks. If I don't, the drawer full of them I have (I don't wear them) gets more full.

    Jan Moore
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I browse Amazon, usually after seeing a list on BP or Buzzfeed. When I see something I like, I'll put it on an Amazon list and give access to anyone wanting ideas. I also include that this is an idea, it doesn't have to come from Amazon.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People end up buying gifts for family that the receiver doesn't want, need, or like only because there is the belief that one has to buy everyone a gift. Many years ago, my family declared "No gifts!" and everyone is way happier. Receiving gifts causes me stress because then I have to find a place to put them or I feel guilty for donating the items. It's so unnecessary and superficial.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's such a problem, just stop giving/receiving gifts? My family haven't exchanged gifts for 5 years now, and we love it - no hassle or stress, just quality time together. This just seems ungrateful and passive aggressive

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? It's "ungrateful" to say "Hey, Mom, I really don't like slipper-socks and I honestly never wear them. I'm also not really into collecting Funko Pops, and I also don't have the space to display them properly. I DO love candles that smell nice, however, and gift cards to my favorite restaurants. I don't want you to spend your hard-earned money on gifts that I won't use/don't want."

    Load More Replies...
    MindNumbinglyBoringJob
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are there comments saying she is a teen. She said she was in her 30ties. Far to old to act like a spoiled brat. I hope her adult daughter does this to her when she has kids.

    Julia Cargile
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just accept the gift and close your mouth. One of these days no one is going to buy you anything.

    Sue S
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA! A gift is just that, a gift. If asked you can give suggestions but if you don't get what you wanted, too bad! Donate it to a charity. There are plenty of people who have nothing that would love to have a gift! Be glad your mom is thinking of you and cares enough to buy you things!

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I'd go with YTA because I think it's completely unnecessary to make that list public and yeah, hurt your mom's feeling, especially as one of the comments said if Mom's love language is gifts. Op could still make that anti-list, only keep it to herself while taking time to think about what she wants. Or donate gifts to others. Or, as Op is an adult, just simply expresses yourself and say, no, I'm good. If mom is a hard person to say no to, well, you better get started on practicing, Op. I mean, the efforts that go into saying "no" is likely going to be less than making a list of "what I don't want".

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in Southern California, where it rarely gets colder than 60F even in wintertime. I wear cargo shorts and t-shirts most of the year. Yet my mother will buy me thick, heavy, fluffy sweaters and jackets, which are WAY too warm to wear in our climate. She will also buy perfumes for me, when she knows that perfume scents trigger my migraines. I have asked her to please not get me these items, as she is wasting her money on things I cannot/will not use. If OP's mom's "love language" is gifts, why can't OP's mom then just, you know, BUY THE THINGS OP WANTS and NOT buy the things OP doesn't want/won't use? Should OP just not care that her mom is spending her money on gifts that OP doesn't want and will donate? That is a ludicrous take. If OP's mom refuses to stop buying the kind of items that OP has said she doesn't want/need, that means that OP's mom is forcing HER OWN likes/wants onto OP and is completely disregarding OP's feelings and opinions.

    Load More Replies...
    Mark Childers
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's a completely rational thing to do. I get it's "not in the holiday spirit," but it's in the spirit of saving hurt feelings, waiting in lines to return it, donating it, or throwing it in the trash or a corner somewhere to be forgotten. Adults, typically, have enough things, and they accumulate. People don't know what to buy others because they already have what they need. This is exactly why my family stopped exchanging gifts and have a meal together and enjoy each other's company. That's what the holidays are for. It's been so stress free since then. A lot cheaper, too. And I agree that holidays are for kids, but no kids in our family. Just adults.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm all for a "Do Not Buy" list. I cannot tell you how many times my mom has gifted/bought me things that she KNOWS I won't wear/use (and that I've told her I will not wear/use) and then over the next few months, she'll ask me things like "Why don't I ever see you wearing the sweater I got you???" [the ludicrously thick, heavy, and fluffy sweater that is completely unnecessary because we live in Southern California and it's rarely colder than 60F even in December] - or she'll gift me perfumes, which trigger migraines in me (she knows this) and then will ask for months why she never smells the perfume on me. I would be SO happy to have a "please don't get me any of the items on this list" list. I really don't understand why a family member would be offended that you don't want (for example) a pair of slipper-socks or "fun socks". That feels an awful lot like said family member is trying to push THEIR likes/wants onto you and not respecting the things that YOU like/want XD

    Load More Replies...
    Gwyn
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have a take on the issue at hand but will say if she's that hard up for space she should donate and free up space just for her own comfort. Give away 3 of those 4 pairs of slippers. And consider just taking what Mom gives you (or asking for jackets, sweaters) and donating that as well. There are a lot of people who have almost nothing out are homeless in need of keeping warm and fed, and you can do some good for them.

    William Teach
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On one hand, I understand. I kept getting nice sweaters, but, I rarely wear them. I'm a static cling monster, so, they can be uncomfortable. I told relatives "no sweaters" this year. On the other hand, just take the gifts in the spirit they were offered and donate them.

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, both sides make sense, just for very different personalities. I don't think it's the actions that are the problem but more that mom is taking it personally and OP is very practical, focused on the information and not on delivery. Mom being sensitive and OP being no nonsense is not a problem, but neither is good at understanding the other is different and givign benefit of the doubt.

    Load More Replies...
    Danissa Pearson
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA, I'd much rather know outright what someone doesn't want than risk getting it for them thinking they'll like it. Especially if they have a hard time thinking of what they DO want. She didn't direct it at the mom, she just used past unwanted gifts as a guideline.

    Sarah Léon
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think an anti-list is against Christmas spirit, on the contrary. It helps people to chose a gift which *will* be appreciated AND to keep it a surprise. You know what you won't have at Christmas but you don't know what you will be given. It's a smart move :)

    Angela C
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think OP is an àsshole but she could have approached the subject a bit more diplomatically. After all the only reason a list like this is needed is when people insist on buying you things you don't want or need.

    Charoltte Mike
    Community Member
    1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never believed initially that it'll be so successful investing bitcoin and stocks with Mr Harold Kendrick, despite the fact I invested a little amount as a beginner, I'm so glad I withdraw my $31,000 profit successfully. Contact him directly ᴏɴ Watsap+ 44 7407600166.

    Big Chungus
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually help run our family Christmas with my mom and do a list as well for everyone. I would rather have both options of what you want/what you don't want so money is not wasted

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get both sides here. For families going through this (& since Xmas was just yesterday), if you know you’re hard to shop for & you have people like this mom who really want to get you presents come Xmas time, start making a list NOW. Any time you run across something that you like but don’t want to spend the money on, put in on your Xmas list. This way come the end of the year, Mom will be thrilled that she’s got a list of things that you really want & you don’t have to stress trying to come up with a list at the last moment. But there’s also nothing wrong with a list of things that you already have plenty of, imo.

    Stacy Bender
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is actually pretty funny and logical. My hubby and I are hard to by for as well. Plus, we like having a small house, so that if something comes in something has to go out. Sounds like OP needs to declutter the closets in their home and not worry that they received them as gifts.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously, NTA! Its just my mom and I anymore and if we need something, we'll just get it! Xmas is anti climactic and we don't really celebrate, but we do have a big dinner. We'll jokingly ask each other what we want and maybe we'll splurge and get it, but if not, no big deal.

    CBolt
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NTA - A list like that would be very helpful. People like OP's mom seem to give what they THEY think the recipient SHOULD want or need & could really use the guidance of an anti-list so they don't end up wasting their $ on completely inappropropriate, unwanted, unused items.

    Lene
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the "do not buy"-list idea. If op is really that difficult to buy for, at least do not buy *those* things. 😊 but if op is so low on space for stuff she could always ask for gift cards to grocery stores (if that's a thing at the stores she use), gift baskets (it's just a basket full of nice sweets and drinks in my country but could also be themed to "cleaning supplies", "hobby supplies", "make up", "socks" (I know op wouldn't like this), and "decorations for X holiday"). There's also the idea of donating to a charity in her name. Or giving her experiences (gift cards to restaurants, movie theaters, bowling, skating, museums, concerts...). So many ideas that may suit a person like op. And the family should totally go for such, imo.

    notlikeyou1971
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that the anti gift list is a great idea!! It sure beats getting useless unwanted stuff that ends up taking up space in your room unnecessarily. It sure beats hurting feelings because most likely you're going to return or regift it if you can't return it. Sometimes the giver finds out and drama happens. In my case, I am hard to buy for I am thin,have odd taste,. I fit into multiple sizes am not " my age"/ a grown up ( except when I have to pay bills and do what is necessary, boring lol). People are better off giving me gift cards or cash. There's lots of people that the list is a perfect solution to use. I didn't expect or ask for anything at all for Christmas.

    Anna Drever
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother usually lets us buy on her behalf for the family now as she’s elderly but in years past she bought us some gosh awful things, even though we’d said we don’t want ‘things for the sake of things’. How do you stop someone whose love language is crappola? Nowadays it’s booze and choccies which is much better.

    Orange Panda
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to tell my dad every year that I don't want slipper socks. If I don't, the drawer full of them I have (I don't wear them) gets more full.

    Jan Moore
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I browse Amazon, usually after seeing a list on BP or Buzzfeed. When I see something I like, I'll put it on an Amazon list and give access to anyone wanting ideas. I also include that this is an idea, it doesn't have to come from Amazon.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People end up buying gifts for family that the receiver doesn't want, need, or like only because there is the belief that one has to buy everyone a gift. Many years ago, my family declared "No gifts!" and everyone is way happier. Receiving gifts causes me stress because then I have to find a place to put them or I feel guilty for donating the items. It's so unnecessary and superficial.

    The_Nicest_Misanthrope
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's such a problem, just stop giving/receiving gifts? My family haven't exchanged gifts for 5 years now, and we love it - no hassle or stress, just quality time together. This just seems ungrateful and passive aggressive

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? It's "ungrateful" to say "Hey, Mom, I really don't like slipper-socks and I honestly never wear them. I'm also not really into collecting Funko Pops, and I also don't have the space to display them properly. I DO love candles that smell nice, however, and gift cards to my favorite restaurants. I don't want you to spend your hard-earned money on gifts that I won't use/don't want."

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    MindNumbinglyBoringJob
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are there comments saying she is a teen. She said she was in her 30ties. Far to old to act like a spoiled brat. I hope her adult daughter does this to her when she has kids.

    Julia Cargile
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just accept the gift and close your mouth. One of these days no one is going to buy you anything.

    Sue S
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YTA! A gift is just that, a gift. If asked you can give suggestions but if you don't get what you wanted, too bad! Donate it to a charity. There are plenty of people who have nothing that would love to have a gift! Be glad your mom is thinking of you and cares enough to buy you things!

    Yu Pan
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I'd go with YTA because I think it's completely unnecessary to make that list public and yeah, hurt your mom's feeling, especially as one of the comments said if Mom's love language is gifts. Op could still make that anti-list, only keep it to herself while taking time to think about what she wants. Or donate gifts to others. Or, as Op is an adult, just simply expresses yourself and say, no, I'm good. If mom is a hard person to say no to, well, you better get started on practicing, Op. I mean, the efforts that go into saying "no" is likely going to be less than making a list of "what I don't want".

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in Southern California, where it rarely gets colder than 60F even in wintertime. I wear cargo shorts and t-shirts most of the year. Yet my mother will buy me thick, heavy, fluffy sweaters and jackets, which are WAY too warm to wear in our climate. She will also buy perfumes for me, when she knows that perfume scents trigger my migraines. I have asked her to please not get me these items, as she is wasting her money on things I cannot/will not use. If OP's mom's "love language" is gifts, why can't OP's mom then just, you know, BUY THE THINGS OP WANTS and NOT buy the things OP doesn't want/won't use? Should OP just not care that her mom is spending her money on gifts that OP doesn't want and will donate? That is a ludicrous take. If OP's mom refuses to stop buying the kind of items that OP has said she doesn't want/need, that means that OP's mom is forcing HER OWN likes/wants onto OP and is completely disregarding OP's feelings and opinions.

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