My brother, Scott, and I had a beautiful childhood friendship. He loved to dream up magical worlds and I loved to believe in them.

We could not have been more different. He was sparkly, outgoing, hilarious, and adorable. Everyone loved him. I, on the other hand, was the quiet kid who sat in the very back of the classroom doodling on my shoes and blushing if the teacher called on me. As opposite as we were, we absolutely adored each other. He was a great entertainer and I think I made the perfect audience.

I wanted to write a picture book to commemorate our childhood, and so I began writing One More Year back in January 2012.

I worked on it intermittently for years, but could never seem to find the right ending. I must have tried out 10,000 endings, but nothing ever stuck. I eventually shoved my draft into a drawer, but it always lingered in the back of my mind. I know now that it just wasn’t our story’s time.

Fast forward to 2017 when Scott passed away unexpectedly at the age of 33. Any death is painful, but to lose Scott—my joy, my laughter, my magic-maker—was absolutely devastating. He left behind a wife, two beautiful daughters, a large family, and thousands of friends. I wish I could write more about it, and maybe someday I will, but it still feels so raw even now. To help manage the grief, I turned back to my story. I knew I had to finish it for him.

It has been a long journey to publication, but the end result is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. Illustrator Carlos Vélez Aguilera was the perfect artist for the project. His rich, colorful illustrations capture the magic of our childhood so vividly that it is as if he shared the memories with us.

My book can’t bring Scott back and it can’t take away my pain and grief, but being able to share his spirit does bring some comfort.

More info: aiballenger.com | Facebook

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Keep shining, dear brother. The world still needs your joy

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