Going out to a nice restaurant is supposed to be a treat. An evening to taste different meals, drink some quality wine, have pleasant conversations, and find more joy in daily living. This time should be spent bonding with yourself, a friend, or a loved one in a welcoming environment. Most importantly, you should not have to worry about anything — unless deciding what to get for dessert counts.

But sometimes, things get tricky, and your fancy dinner gets disrupted. This is exactly what happened to one woman who recently shared on Mumsnet that her fine dining experience was anything but relaxing. “We paid a lot of money for a meal we couldn’t enjoy,” she wrote while expressing anger about a family of five seated next to her.

As the kids at the next table were being loud and bashed their cutlery against the table, the woman felt she had to complain. What followed got her a free bottle of wine but turned into a heated online debate where people were eager to weigh in on the matter. Below, you can read the story in full and decide for yourself whether she was being unreasonable or not. Then be sure to let us know what you think about this whole ordeal in the comments.

This woman recently shared how a family with three children seated at the next table “ruined” her fancy meal out

Image credits: Nicolás Villalobos

She reached out to the internet to gain some perspective on the situation, sparking a debate online

Image credits: Ron Lach

Image credits: Arbesque

After making a complaint and getting a free bottle of wine, it seems like the woman still wanted more. The claim that expensive restaurants should have a policy on noisy children sparked a series of conversations in the comments. Some people said it was unreasonable, while others sympathized with her concerns.

A 2019 study conducted by Caterer.com surveyed over 1,000 UK parents with children between the ages of 0 and 14, 700 UK children between the ages of 5 and 14, and 105 restaurant managers and decision-makers. When it comes to new parents, half said they research online to make sure their chosen restaurant is child friendly.

Moreover, they are the most conscious of their kids’ impact on other diners: 45% reported feeling pressure for their little ones to behave. One respondent even noted the feeling of “being looked at because children are not silent.”

For parents of 5 to 7-year-olds, behavior is still a major concern. “Being served quickly, to avoid tantrums, is crucial. But these parents also value a good restaurant experience as a way to teach their children about the world.”

“Restaurants need to take the worry out of the eating experience,” Miranda Godfrey, a Senior Lecturer for Escoffier Grand Diploma Course at Westminster Kingsway College, said. “As a first step, they should have an area specifically for families that is near a changing facility and toilet. Good changing areas that provide wipes, creams, and clean changing mats with disposable sheets to place your baby on would be welcome — and let’s make sure this is accessible for dads too!”

The survey also found that families are vital for the dining business, as they make up 57% of restaurants’ revenue. Eating out is great for the kids too, as these little munchkins tend to absorb new experiences like sponges. The more activities they endeavor, the food they taste, and the new places they discover, the more they learn about their surroundings.

Young children, however, are still learning the art of self-control and etiquette, so these experiences often come as a challenge. But if you pick up a few tips and tricks and prepare beforehand, they don’t have to be.

“Kids are awesome and they should be part of the dining experience,” Sam Sifton, Food Editor for The New York Times told Fatherly. “Anytime we go to a restaurant, we are entering into a social contract with everyone else in the restaurant. I’m not trying to ruin your good time, and you’re not trying to ruin mine. It’s important to model that behavior, so kids can accept the social contract and have a good time.”

Firstly, he suggested that having confidence is key. “I always went in with a positive attitude that everything was going to work out well and be fun and exciting,” he said. But what’s even more important than having trust in yourself and your kids is being a model for manners.

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Sifton pointed out that most of the time when he observed kids in the dining room acting out, it wasn’t their fault. “I’ve inwardly rolled my eyes at the sight of children coming into a restaurant and thought, ‘Oh boy, how is this going to go?’ But mainly, I’ve been pleasantly surprised.”

“When I’ve been annoyed by behavior, it’s generally the parents. You need to teach the kid how to be in the restaurant. This experience is different from eating at home. It’s more formal. It demands manners that we sometimes forget. That pays dividends down the line.”

At the end of the day, it’s up to the family to ensure both they and the other diners have a lovely time eating out. What are your thoughts about the situation? Do you think it’s reasonable to demand restaurants put policies in place to handle noisy kids? What can restaurants do to ensure everyone has an overall pleasant experience? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter down below.

After reading the post, some people sympathized with the woman and said her concerns were valid

And other users pointed out she was being unreasonable

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