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Friends Forbid Woman From Bringing Dog On Trip, Are Shocked When She Refuses To Pay For Their Kids
Friends Forbid Woman From Bringing Dog On Trip, Are Shocked When She Refuses To Pay For Their Kids
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Friends Forbid Woman From Bringing Dog On Trip, Are Shocked When She Refuses To Pay For Their Kids

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Lots of things change over time, and while some friend groups stick together through it all, the dynamics might inevitably change, too.

For this redditor, things started shifting when her friends started having children. The group grew bigger and bigger and the OP—the only one without kids—was expected to go with the flow, which entailed covering part of the children’s expenses. But when she asked her friends to make accommodations for her, the group wasn’t willing to.

RELATED:

    Many things can change in life, but friends tend to stick together through thick and thin

    Image credits: Ivan Babydov / pexels (not the actual photo)

    This woman was expected to cover the expenses of her friends’ kids, but the friends refused to accommodate her dog

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    Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Image credits: Pinkbunny1988

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    With more responsibilities falling on their shoulders, people might not have as much time for their friends as they used to

    Time relentlessly passing by tends to affect not only people’s personal lives, but their relationships with others, too, be it with family members, partners, or friends. When it comes to friend groups, while people might remain as close as ever emotionally, it often gets increasingly more difficult to stay in touch as much, as their responsibilities tend to increase over time.

    Data shows that even teens limit the amount of time they spend with their friends due to certain obligations. According to Pew Research Center, roughly 40% of teens in the US admit they are too busy themselves, while roughly a third say that their friends are the ones who don’t have that much spare time.

    When it comes to adults, a common reason they can’t make as much time for their friends is coupling up or welcoming a bundle of joy into this world. While it doesn’t mean they care for their friends any less, both scenarios typically entail having to make changes in the way they devote their time.

    But, as the OP’s story shows, children affect more aspects than the time spent together, which can sometimes become a cause for disagreements; especially when not all friends are in the same boat. Nowadays, it’s likely to be the case quite often, as women tend to have children at various ages and quite a few of them choose not to have them at all.

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Some women choose to have children later in life than females used to or not to have them at all

    Daily Mail reported that just a couple of years ago, in 2022, for the first time ever, more than half of women over 30 were childless; in the UK, at least. For comparison, as much as 82% of women born back in the 1940s had at least one child before turning 30.

    As for women who do not have kids for one reason or another, based on 2020 data from the US, the number stood at nearly 39% for women aged 30 to 34 and close to 22% for those between 35 and 39 years of age.

    As a matter of fact, the number of people not expecting to have children in their lives has reportedly been on the rise. Pew Research Center’s 2021 study found that there has been a 7% increase since 2018 in non-parents who say they are not too or not at all likely to have children someday.

    Even though the OP didn’t have children of her own, she was expected to cover the expenses of the women who did. That, and the fact that, while she would cover said expenses, the friends wouldn’t count in her dietary restrictions or accommodate her dog, left fellow redditors siding with the OP; they shared their views in the comments under her post.

    Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo)

    Fellow netizens didn’t consider the OP a jerk, she replied to some of their comments

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    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, Community member

    Read more »

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    Read less »
    Miglė Miliūtė

    Miglė Miliūtė

    Writer, Community member

    A writer here at Bored Panda, I am a lover of good music, good food, and good company, which makes food-related topics and feel-good stories my favorite ones to cover. Passionate about traveling and concerts, I constantly seek occasions to visit places yet personally unexplored. I also enjoy spending free time outdoors, trying out different sports—even if I don’t look too graceful at it—or socializing over a cup of coffee.

    What do you think ?
    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why it's even a question. Why on earth would anyone assume that those with kids, or those with more kids, should only pay the same as those with fewer or no children?

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the same mindset as those who order appetizers, steak entree, 2-3 cocktails, and dessert, all while expecting the person who had a salad & ice water to be happy splitting the bill 50/50.

    Load More Replies...
    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "They're not awful people...but they're sensitive when it comes to their kids, causing them to be blind to their actions and take any perceived criticism or negative reaction to their parent as a personal attack. Also, they take advantage of me on these trips and stick me on the sofa without asking and expect me to split the food bill evenly even though it includes food for their kids. And they gave me no options for my dog." So, how are these people not awful?

    DarkViolet
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is being played worse than a 39-cent flugelhorn. Now that she's changed the tune, her "friends" don't like it one bit. This friendship has run its course; time for reflection and moving on. Changing her circle of friends will be far more enjoyable, and cheaper, in the long run.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, this is true. They allowed OP to tag along because it means their trip becomes a lot cheaper since childless OP is paying more than their share of the costs, but deep down they've long stopped caring for OP and her needs. She was the odd one out, and the others saw themselves as generously providing company, feeling entitled to OP's extra contributions in food costs and an unproportional part of housing. That became clear when they asked her to pay an equal part of groceries while also paying separately for their dietary needs. They were using her as a cash cow for quite a while and felt entitled to that. Now OP wants accommodations to her needs. That's not something they see as reasonable because they don't value OP for anything else but her money and whatever other contributions they can weasel out of her.

    Load More Replies...
    John L
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhhh....you consider them...friends? I think I'd rather just stay lonely....

    María Hermida
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a saying in Spanish: "better alone then in bad company". I totally agree with you. Also, there's a difference between between being alone and being lonely. If my friends were like these people, I would feel lonely even if I were with them. They are inconsiderate and selfish, and I think OP is much better without them.

    Load More Replies...
    K. LNU
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too have had dogs vs child/children, and had a few (former) friends -when we were in our 20s - who used me like OP's friends. It wasn't until I brought it up that it wasn't fair that I was paying a fourth of all expenses when I didn't have kids. (Never took the couch or bunk tho) What slapped me into reality was when I heard one of them say that they didn't know why I was being a b**** - after all, since I didn't have kids, I had "disposable income." Needless to say, they lost out on my "disposable income."

    JustABored1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, you have disposable income. For you! Not their kids! 🙄

    Load More Replies...
    DC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If that's your friends, start hanging out with enemies instead. Not the same fun, but fun, I promise!

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look at it this way, you now have a true friend, a friend that will love you unconditionally, comfort you when you are down or upset and always be happy to see you. I don't have kids and when we go out with friends who do they sit at another table and have separate bills. Some of us tend to hit the JD after a meal so when the adult bill comes obviously we chip in more to cover the booze.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember as kids, when we traveled with other families, or groups of friends, it was always us(the kids) that slept on the pull-out sofas, or even on those thin portable/foldable mattresses on the floor. It was never the adults. Op's "friends" are a holes.

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we booked an Airbnb with friends of ours, we made sure to find a place that had rooms and proper beds for EVERYONE, and agreed that this was non-negotiable.

    Load More Comments
    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why it's even a question. Why on earth would anyone assume that those with kids, or those with more kids, should only pay the same as those with fewer or no children?

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the same mindset as those who order appetizers, steak entree, 2-3 cocktails, and dessert, all while expecting the person who had a salad & ice water to be happy splitting the bill 50/50.

    Load More Replies...
    JayWantsACat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "They're not awful people...but they're sensitive when it comes to their kids, causing them to be blind to their actions and take any perceived criticism or negative reaction to their parent as a personal attack. Also, they take advantage of me on these trips and stick me on the sofa without asking and expect me to split the food bill evenly even though it includes food for their kids. And they gave me no options for my dog." So, how are these people not awful?

    DarkViolet
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP is being played worse than a 39-cent flugelhorn. Now that she's changed the tune, her "friends" don't like it one bit. This friendship has run its course; time for reflection and moving on. Changing her circle of friends will be far more enjoyable, and cheaper, in the long run.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, this is true. They allowed OP to tag along because it means their trip becomes a lot cheaper since childless OP is paying more than their share of the costs, but deep down they've long stopped caring for OP and her needs. She was the odd one out, and the others saw themselves as generously providing company, feeling entitled to OP's extra contributions in food costs and an unproportional part of housing. That became clear when they asked her to pay an equal part of groceries while also paying separately for their dietary needs. They were using her as a cash cow for quite a while and felt entitled to that. Now OP wants accommodations to her needs. That's not something they see as reasonable because they don't value OP for anything else but her money and whatever other contributions they can weasel out of her.

    Load More Replies...
    John L
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhhh....you consider them...friends? I think I'd rather just stay lonely....

    María Hermida
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a saying in Spanish: "better alone then in bad company". I totally agree with you. Also, there's a difference between between being alone and being lonely. If my friends were like these people, I would feel lonely even if I were with them. They are inconsiderate and selfish, and I think OP is much better without them.

    Load More Replies...
    K. LNU
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too have had dogs vs child/children, and had a few (former) friends -when we were in our 20s - who used me like OP's friends. It wasn't until I brought it up that it wasn't fair that I was paying a fourth of all expenses when I didn't have kids. (Never took the couch or bunk tho) What slapped me into reality was when I heard one of them say that they didn't know why I was being a b**** - after all, since I didn't have kids, I had "disposable income." Needless to say, they lost out on my "disposable income."

    JustABored1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, you have disposable income. For you! Not their kids! 🙄

    Load More Replies...
    DC
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If that's your friends, start hanging out with enemies instead. Not the same fun, but fun, I promise!

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look at it this way, you now have a true friend, a friend that will love you unconditionally, comfort you when you are down or upset and always be happy to see you. I don't have kids and when we go out with friends who do they sit at another table and have separate bills. Some of us tend to hit the JD after a meal so when the adult bill comes obviously we chip in more to cover the booze.

    InfiniteZeek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember as kids, when we traveled with other families, or groups of friends, it was always us(the kids) that slept on the pull-out sofas, or even on those thin portable/foldable mattresses on the floor. It was never the adults. Op's "friends" are a holes.

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When we booked an Airbnb with friends of ours, we made sure to find a place that had rooms and proper beds for EVERYONE, and agreed that this was non-negotiable.

    Load More Comments
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