Some of the most consistently comprehensively insightful advice I've seen. My late husband was a version of this, so I relate so well to the character. If I had my life to live over in the OP's position, I'd get rid of him sharpish. I'm grateful I didn't have a baby with someone like that. It's not too late for her - at around that age I didn't realise how much I wasn't *living* until I met the madcap but self reliant MrTribbleTheSecond.

She needs to get an abortion. There is no ooing or ahhing about it. He lied, she fell pregnant. Neither of yous re ready for kids. He pretty much raped her and she's wondering if this kid is going to make him hate her! What the hell is she on? He doesn't give a f**k so why is she even entertaining this? Have an abortion, then have all your existential crisis without a poor innocent child in the middle of her indecisiveness and his neglect.

So, the partner lied about the appointment, are not bothered if they do have a child or not, doesn't help with running the household or pet care - what does he actually contributes in the relationship? Hopefully she can arrange for an abortion and a divorce in quick succession.

I've heard a saying that may apply in her situation: toss a coin. While the coin is in mid-air, you'll know which side you want to see. For those who say that the husband is not reliable because he didn't go back for the checkup: some of us are capable of learning from their mistakes. I don't say that hubby is one of these people, but he just may be.

Take a deep breath. Your feelings are all over the place not only because the surprise but because of the fact that you are pregnant and your hormons are all over the place. Think before you act. I do not know your husband - you do. My husband could have done the same thing.Not out of malice but because he hates going to the doctor ... absolutely hates it. I can see him go risk is low, deed is done, it will work just fine. A mistake I would be pretty mad over but not one I would even slightly consider kicking him to the curb. But my husband ... with all his mistakes and quirks is a good man who stands with me for 32 years now. Question is: Is this a mistake, albeit one with life changing consequences, or is he careless and indifferent as a rule? That is for you and you alone to decide.

If she is THIS stressed over being pregnant, imagine how she will be as a Mother. I wish her best of what she decides.

He sounds like a gem! 😟

From what I read the guy is a man-child. He offers no support now and will never change. He never takes responsibility for any of his actions. If I was her I would get a divorce, whether she decides to have the child or not.

He can be a single dad, it's his dumbass fault

When he was shrugging off her requests for his opinion, that wasn't him respecting "her body her choice," that was him shirking off responsibility once again. He's putting everything on her and just going with the flow, which doesn't work. I guarantee if she steps back a moment she will see this attitude in many other aspects of their lives together and as individuals

Abort and stick with oral or a**l from now on - problem solved.

OP needs to first figure out her own personal feelings on the matter without accounting for your husband's & regardless of whether he remains in the picture first. (You can't predict or be accountable for his since he said he 'doesnt care) Every pregnant woman I know worries about the state of the world, how their children will be when they grow up, & what kind of parent you'll be- those are perfectly normal concerns. Then once you decide, if you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, you need to have a sit down and with the husband along with your needs & expectations going forward. Does he stay or does he go? That would depend on if he responds to you with respect or just blows you off again. You want him to respond with care and concern.

Tell him that if you have the child, he will be a single parent because you will leave him. Then see where he lands on the childbirth vs abortion issue.