I’ve recently started dating again, and the amount of men my age (35) with kids is disheartening. I started talking to one guy, and he mentioned having kids, so I told him we weren’t compatible. He told me I was being negative, asking how I knew we weren’t compatible, etc. Well, cause you have kids and I don’t, I don’t want any. I had another guy tell me he had a 22-month-old. He has not mentioned anywhere in his profile about having kids, and then when I tell him it’s a no for me, he resorts to insults. I’m honestly happy with my life and where I am, and I refuse to settle for anyone who wouldn’t add to my life. I’m complete. If I die alone with my cats, that’s better than settling for a miserable life

Donthurlemogurlx Report

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When my current manager found out I don’t want kids his response was “well you’re young and still have time to change your mind”. When I told him my husband and I want to retire early he said “but why would you retire early if you don’t have kids? What would you even do..?”

SMH these people are so brainwashed. There’s more to life than going to a job everyday then taking care of kids for the other part.

Chipotleislyfee , RAIS Report

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I am 47 and life is great. Was married once (very young) and engaged once, but never had kids. Started my own business a decade ago and that's gone great. It's currently providing me income while I work on a start-up with a partner. I travel a lot (when there's not a pandemic), have tons of hobbies, and have built up a wonderful chosen family for company and support.

I have no regrets and no complaints. I get plenty of sleep and take good care of myself. I volunteer and give back to the community however and whenever I can. I wouldn't have it any other way.

GracieLikesTea , Daria Pimkina Report

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My son decided to get a vasectomy last year. I told him: "Won't you regret it later?"
He replied: "I can always adopt, just like you adopted me."

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1. My body already is pretty screwed up, I don't need it MORE screwed up

2. A lot of folks seem to hate their children. Like, A LOT of people seem to hate their children. Or at least mildly resent them. I don't want to do that.

3. I am an 'all in' type of person. A 'anything worth doing is worth over doing' type of person. I'd probably be a great parent because of this--all in for my kids. But it also means I'd be a terrible ME. I'd lose being an individual in the process, and that's not good for me OR any mythical children.

4. I really, really, really like quiet.

Lyeta1_1 , Lucas Calloch Report

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Cringe answer but i don’t wanna bring someone into this world and force them to deal with problems just cause I wanted pride of having a child

Possible_Tap8558 Report

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I overheard my sister-in-law telling my brother-in-law that we should write everything in our will to them because “We need it; they don’t have kids (on both sides). What do they need it for?” They’re trying to get my father-in-law to facilitate the conversation. If they think you’re entitled to my money, don’t be shy. Tell me to my face! The joke is on her because my side of the money is locked up in a prenup. Our will, as it stands now, a nice sum is set aside for education, down payment, etc., for my nieces. Most of it is being distributed to charities. Planned Parenthood is on the list! The audacity and entitlement make my head spin! Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean it automatically goes to them.

jabmwr Report

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Love my life. Wouldn’t trade it with anyone. I’m 70 with no children, never married, and no regrets. Several long term relationships (11 yr. & 17 year ... still friends). Loved my never relinquishing my personal freedom. Several things informed my decision:

Watching the relationships of parents and children, where children became a**holes. 2. Watching marriages that were okay go bad or boring 3. Watching people lose themselves in stressful marriages. 4. My inability to take shit and pretend that it’s not happening. 5. Not enjoying the feeling of having to negotiate everything from social events to meal choices. 6. Unwillingness to relinquish personal freedom

Kwelikinz , Axville Report

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I had an experience that annoyed me apartment hunting last year. The lady showing my boyfriend and I the apartment kept prying why we would need a second bedroom, and saying things like if it’s just the two of us why isn’t a 1 bedroom enough. Even after explaining we both worked from home, she kept trying to push the smaller units. I guess the building has less 2 bedrooms so they like to keep them open for people with kids?

As crazy as it sounds, people without kids also like space.

South-Housing-748 Report

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Coming up in a year since my husband and I bought our first house! 4 beds, 2.5 baths. I absolutely love it. We consider ourselves very lucky and grateful. Since then, when the topic comes up in casual conversation, I get the same response from breeders. It doesn’t help we’re the only child-free couple on the street. “Oh, so much space, making room for kids?” “That’s a lot of space for just the two of you.” “What about families with children that needed that home?” I’m sorry, I wanted space for separate offices and a space for visitors. Oh, the reactions I get when I say I turned the den into a cat room. “A whole room just for your cats!?” “Must be nice to live that way” Yes. Yes, it is. It would also be nice to share accomplishments without judgment.

Unsolicited_CatPics Report

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I was getting to know a (female) doctor my partner used to work with. She asked about my dream job and I responded that I don’t dream of labor; my dream is to be financially secure enough that I can retire ASAP.

“Retired? Do you mean at home with babies?”

“…Um no. Retired meaning I have enough savings to not have to work anymore while living comfortably.”

PM_ME_PDIDDY , RepentAnd SeekChristJesus Report

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Glorious!

Vacations are a breeze, particularly if you go to another country. If I find a place, I can just up and move without worrying about if the school is any good, or how big the house is.

Gonstackk , Eddy Billard Report

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I'm 48 never wanted kids, no regrets. The majority of the parents I know are stressed AF! My best friend has 4 adult kids and they all cause her grief. She is on her way to a mental breakdown.

The happiest married couples that I know, besides me and my spouse, is a retired couple no kids. They go on dates several times a week, travel and just love each other so much.

Having kids isn't a guarantee that they will take care of you when you get old. My mother works in a nursing home. Most of them are abandoned by their kids and only visit on Mother's Day for Facebook photos.

sagicorn2791 , Lona Report

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I am 38, my wife is 42. Our marriage is fantastic and our jobs are stressful, but lucrative. We worry and stress about normal things just like others, but just not about kids, obviously.

Like any major life decision, there are pangs of regret -seeing my friends enjoy ballgames and major milestones with their children that I know it won't experience with my own, but I know I am also sidestepping the negatives as well.

In the end, my wife and I chose each other and are endlessly happy. Could a child have improved that bliss? Possibly - but we collectively were not 100% all-in and didn't want to risk our happiness together to find out.

Intersectaquirer , Allen Taylor Report

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I’m a 46 year old auntie to a wonderful little boy and I’m fine with that.

My husband and I didn’t each hit 6 figures until about 4 years ago, so we’re not really swimming in money yet (we live in NYC). I love sleeping in. I love finishing dinner and then playing video games. I love going for long walks. I love peace and quiet. I love all my disposable income. My brother and his wife ask all the time when we’re going to visit so they can just toss my nephew at us for a week so they can go on vacation and you know, that just makes me extra happy I didn’t go that route.

cuntpunt2000 , João Ferrão Report

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I've never had any desire to be a mother. I don't want to give up my freedom and spare time. I can't afford it. I don't want to grow a human inside my body. I have [bad] mental health problems that I would probably pass on to them.

sporkchop24 , Brooke Cagle Report

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30 F, besides every other answer already provided here… I am legitimately terrified of the idea of pregnancy and giving birth. Even if I felt the burning desire to mother a child, (which I do not) I could never get past the fact I would have to grow it, and “have” it.

IndependentWinner992 , Vanessa Report

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Retiring to me means never working for anyone but myself.

Thanks to the stars aligning with my childfreedom, the real estate boom, and a deep seated drive to be both lazy and selfish I'm about to live my dream - moving across the country, renting out an ADU for passive income, and freelancing when I feel like it.

Of course, there are no guarantees this will last forever, but at 35 it's the closest thing to retirement I've ever experienced. So excited.

atypicala , Sven Mieke Report

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Me 46M and wife 46F.

In a word, amazing.

We both work in Finance and our household gross income is about $200k with about $48k/yr in expenses (and half of that is discretionary...bare bones expenses are about $24k/yr)

Debt free except for the house, which will be completely paid off by this time next year.

Pretty much buy whatever we want, when we want it.

Go where ever we want, when we want to.

Our jobs are ultra-stable and we have both been with the company for 10 years and get 1.5 months of paid leave, plus 10 paid holidays per year (almost unheard of in non-union jobs in the US).

We live next door to my wife's parents and they are awesome people that treat me like the son they never had.

About the only thing we really need to fix, is we both put on too much weight during covid and need to get that shit under control this summer...so...salad & hiking summer it is.

Luckily, we live in the paradise of our choosing, Alaska, and there is truly epic hiking up here.

[deleted] , Timo Stern Report

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Boyfriend and I are both 45 and life is pretty cool. We met when we were 39 and on our second date I had to ask the dreaded kid question. Thank god his response was a vehement no. It’s crazy to think people don’t ask that question right away and have terrible break ups over it. I figured I didn’t want to waste a minute with him if he wanted kids!

bionica1 , dusan jovic Report

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Love it.

Can't even imagine having children. I'm not built for it.

Great with other people's kids (in short bursts) but ultimately very glad to be able to walk away from that cacophony of neediness.

I sleep as much as I want (as well as game/work/etc) eat whatever I want go where I want (or more importantly don't go where I don't want).

One of the few decisions that made very young (before I was a teenager for sure) that I've not wavered on and has paid off dividends.

VyrPlan , Marivi Pazos Report

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I was told at an old job that I’d be such a great mom because I was so patient and kind to coworkers, especially the new ones who had A LOT of questions. The difference is I can get away from my coworkers, but kids are a different story! My mom said I would be a fantastic mom— IF I wanted to be one, because ultimately, I wouldn’t be if my heart wasn’t in it. My mom gets it, and I appreciate her so much for it.

Brain_Stew12 , Desola Lanre-Ologun Report

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I love children. I love holding them, I love playing with them and I love talking with them. Very neat group of people. Totally recommend them to anyone who thinks having a child is right for them.

What I do not like is being responsible over another human being 24/7. I also don't like the thought of having to leave work to pick up a sick child from school or nursery school. I don't like potty training, I don't want to be unable to travel without a massive amount of planning, I don't want to fight with a 13 year old over... anything really, 13 year olds do not listen to reason. I don't want to get up at 7 AM on a Sunday to take my child to their football training, I don't want to spend all my money on somebody else's damn shoes that they will have grown out of the week after anyways.

Basically, a child is not compatible with the lifestyle I want.

Fuzzykittenboots Report

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I never wanted to have children.
My relatives and acquaintances would tell me: "When you grow up you will change your mind. Children are a blessing in life," or stuff like that. I always replied that I didn't see myself as a mother. 15 years have gone by and nothing has changed.

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I decided when I was 18 and I agree with it. People will tell me: "Who is going to take care of you when you are old?" followed by this little gem: "You have to start your own family," as if my boyfriend and my dogs don't count.

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Almost 40, no kids, never married. I work about 50ish hours a week. Life is good. Money just sits in the bank since I don't have to spend it on children, I have a bunch of free time that I use however I want because I can't ask a significant other how they want to spend time together or have to cater my schedule around sports practice, or academia. I use my vacation days to extend some weekends, travel somewhere nice, stay in a bed and breakfast and enjoy the nightlife the place has to offer.

nocoolname42 , Emil Kalibradov Report

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Utterly delightful. We can do what we want, when we want. Zero debt except the mortgage. 10/10 would do again.

Astara104 Report

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Fantastic. I couldn’t ask for a better life. I wouldn’t trade my current status for the greatest child in the world and I like kids. Me 44 and hubby 38, almost mortgage free. Stress from jobs are there but I feel like it’s nothing compared to my friends with kids.

commentaror , Brooke Cagle Report

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45 F, I love it. Also never been married, or never lived with someone (except roommates). I love the freedom to do as I please, spent my money the way I want.

stubbornasfuckNL Report

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My biggest factors in not wanting kids are SLEEP and SPONTANEITY! When telling my coworker this, she’s like “it’s not as hard as you’d think it is” then, a couple weeks later, she comes in talking about “the baby is sick and can’t sleep” or “the baby was up at 6am today” (we work nights) and she has to plan [things] way in advance, and she can’t handle her car issues because she has no money because of the baby.

Luckily! My sister, my mom, and my close friends who have kids are very honest with me about what their lives are like, and they don’t blame me for not wanting kids! The only people who seem to REALLY want my husband and I to start pumping ‘em out are my coworkers, which is extra weird because like… they would never even see my hypothetical baby ??

BetEqual2993 , Brooke Cagle Report

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When people who have children start talking about them, they suddenly look at you and say: “And when are you going to have children?” And when you answer that you don’t want to have children, they tell you that that’s selfish, and they ask who will take care of you later. They also say you need to have children to have your own family, or that you say that because you are too young.

Mimi Thian Report

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