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Guy Leaves His GF In A Hotel In Another State After Learning She Cheated, Asks If It Was Wrong
Infidelity is one of the main reasons why couples fight and break up. It is utterly devastating to learn that your partner has been unfaithful to you. And emotional cheating can sometimes be just as bad as if the person did it physically. Learning about it can make you react very strongly—it’s natural to be upset and angry.
Redditor u/Apprehensive-Bad8053 recently turned to the r/AITAH online community for their verdict and relationship advice. The OP learned during an out-of-state trip that his girlfriend had been flirting with another man. So he left her at the hotel, driving back home by himself. Scroll down for the full story and the internet’s reactions.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
RELATED:
Learning that your partner had an emotional affair can send you into shock
Image credits: mikoto.raw Photographer / pexels (not the actual photo)
One guy wanted the internet to tell him whether he reacted to his girlfriend’s cheating in an acceptable way
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Apprehensive-Bad8053
There are lots of different reasons why couples argue and break up
The Journal of Marriage and Divorce states that a jaw-dropping 70% of Americans will, at some point, engage in some form of infidelity during their marriage.
Meanwhile, research conducted by YouGov found that more than half of all Americans who have ever been in a monogamous relationship say they’ve been cheated on physically, emotionally, or both.
Forbes reports that the most common reasons why couples break up include growing apart, arguing with each other, as well as unfaithfulness. A lack of respect for one another, drastically different interests, as well as money worries also play a large part in creating friction in relationships.
Being unable to share the housework, difficulties with sex, and addiction are also among the reasons why couples eventually break up.
Marriage.com points out that a lack of communication and emotional connection can also lead to breakups. Jealousy, toxic behavior, and an inability to forgive each other for mistakes are also bright red flags that the relationship (probably) isn’t going well.
Romantic relationships aren’t just physical in nature (even if physical contact and intimacy are incredibly important). They’re also deeply emotional. That’s why emotional cheating can be so devastating. Especially when there’s deception and secrecy involved.
Image credits: Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
Emotional affairs can be just as bad as physical ones, depending on what happened
Psychology Today explains that people who realize their partner has been having an emotional affair can feel shock, sadness, anger, and betrayal. Though some relationships end due to emotional affairs, they don’t necessarily have to.
Couples who are able to move on from emotional infidelity can end up strengthening their own connections, making them deeper and more resilient. However, this requires a level of openness, honesty, and vulnerability that not everyone might feel comfortable with.
Either way, repairing the relationship will take time, patience, transparency, and a willingness to compromise. Trust, once broken, can be rebuilt, but it happens slowly and subtly.
Why someone cheats emotionally or physically depends a lot on each individual, their (unmet) needs, as well as what their relationship is currently like. Someone who feels lonely, ignored, or disrespected might look for other people to connect with.
Others might feel dissatisfied with the current state of their relationship. They might not be getting their physical or emotional needs met, so they begin looking outside the relationship for validation and companionship.
Still, others might feel like they’ve lost their confidence, so they seek the approval of strangers to remind themselves that they’re still attractive and desirable.
Then there are individuals who suddenly realize they haven’t been attracted to their partner for ages. But instead of talking about the issue and trying to solve the root problem, they choose to flirt with strangers.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Many readers came out in support of the guy. Here’s what they had to say about what happened
However, not everyone saw the situation the same way. Some folks were very critical of the author, too
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What do you think ?
Tams21 11 months ago
While I can't imagine that leaving a college student (who is presumably over 18) by herself is criminal negligence or any other crime, assuming his gf identity by using her phone to get the guy to send "revealing photos" of himself might well be.
Elio 11 months ago
Yeah, that sounded sketchy af. I don't think he is guilty of negligence of his GF, but impersonating her and asking for revealing photos of Internet Dude might be a crime.
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JayWantsACat 11 months ago
She's an adult, wasn't stranded some place unsafe, & had the means to get home either on her own or thru her parents. So, NTA in that regard. We don't have all the details so it's tough to gauge whether she was actually cheating in any way or not, even with the denial that she was talking to the guy. Denying that they even talked doesn't mean she's cheating. For all we know OP is super possessive & she can't have any guy friends. For me, having someone's phone password isn't the best sign. It doesn't mean you don't have anything to hide, it just means you have no privacy. The guy responding with nudes just means he's obviously into her, doesn't mean she's into him. After 5 years together, flipping out like that & not giving her a real chance to talk it over & just bailing seems like there's something more going on with this relationship. Very slightly YTA for all that but NTA for OP feeling how he felt. I just don't think this is nearly as cut & dry as people are making it out to be.
MR 10 months ago
Except he did talk to her. And she said it hadn't gotten physical yet. But contextually, she was having an emotional affair with this guy. It wasn't just "a friend." Not sure why people think it's okay to have an emotional affair with someone while in a relationship. That's absolutely cause to bail. And an abusive guy like this is far less likely to bail like he did than to double or triple down on the controlling/abusive behavior.
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Max Fox 11 months ago
I don't get the people who claim that the guy is the AH. Her response reeks of guilt. From the initial flat denial to the "we're talking, but haven't hooked up". Her response sounds like "we haven't hooked up YET". If she was "just talking" innocently, her immediate response would not have been flatly denying that she is even talking to this guy. Which brings it to "her side". Her side was first "I'm not talking to this guy", and then "I'm talking to this guy, but we haven't had sex". So "her side"is no longer believable. Finally, the fact that the parents are basically focussed on him leaving her at the hotel means that they cannot defend her actions, and so are focussing on the guy's actions. On the other hand, his actions indicate that he was suspicious, and somewhat delusional regarding how well the relationship was going.
Tams21 11 months ago
While I can't imagine that leaving a college student (who is presumably over 18) by herself is criminal negligence or any other crime, assuming his gf identity by using her phone to get the guy to send "revealing photos" of himself might well be.
Elio 11 months ago
Yeah, that sounded sketchy af. I don't think he is guilty of negligence of his GF, but impersonating her and asking for revealing photos of Internet Dude might be a crime.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 11 months ago
She's an adult, wasn't stranded some place unsafe, & had the means to get home either on her own or thru her parents. So, NTA in that regard. We don't have all the details so it's tough to gauge whether she was actually cheating in any way or not, even with the denial that she was talking to the guy. Denying that they even talked doesn't mean she's cheating. For all we know OP is super possessive & she can't have any guy friends. For me, having someone's phone password isn't the best sign. It doesn't mean you don't have anything to hide, it just means you have no privacy. The guy responding with nudes just means he's obviously into her, doesn't mean she's into him. After 5 years together, flipping out like that & not giving her a real chance to talk it over & just bailing seems like there's something more going on with this relationship. Very slightly YTA for all that but NTA for OP feeling how he felt. I just don't think this is nearly as cut & dry as people are making it out to be.
MR 10 months ago
Except he did talk to her. And she said it hadn't gotten physical yet. But contextually, she was having an emotional affair with this guy. It wasn't just "a friend." Not sure why people think it's okay to have an emotional affair with someone while in a relationship. That's absolutely cause to bail. And an abusive guy like this is far less likely to bail like he did than to double or triple down on the controlling/abusive behavior.
Load More Replies... Max Fox 11 months ago
I don't get the people who claim that the guy is the AH. Her response reeks of guilt. From the initial flat denial to the "we're talking, but haven't hooked up". Her response sounds like "we haven't hooked up YET". If she was "just talking" innocently, her immediate response would not have been flatly denying that she is even talking to this guy. Which brings it to "her side". Her side was first "I'm not talking to this guy", and then "I'm talking to this guy, but we haven't had sex". So "her side"is no longer believable. Finally, the fact that the parents are basically focussed on him leaving her at the hotel means that they cannot defend her actions, and so are focussing on the guy's actions. On the other hand, his actions indicate that he was suspicious, and somewhat delusional regarding how well the relationship was going.
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