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“[Am I The Jerk] For Changing My Mind About Splitting The Cost Of Our Group Vacation Equally?”
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Perhaps the best way to strengthen a friendship is to travel together. Perhaps the best way to lose friends is to lend them money or have some differences about money. What happens when you combine these two ways? Now that, we will tell you about in detail.
This story appeared a few months ago on the AITA Reddit community as a post by the user u/Accomplished_Luck907 and has since garnered over 9.7K upvotes and around 1.6K various comments. We sincerely hope that the author of the original post has since been on the mend with her friends, but in the meantime, let’s move on to the story.
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The author of the post and her husband had been taking a group vacation with two other couples for the last several years
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Image credits: Jeremy T. Hetzel (not the actual photo)
Each summer, except 2020 and 2021, of course, the three couples booked a 3-room rental and had a nice rest
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Image credits: Accomplished_Luck907
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Image credits: Jeremy T. Hetzel (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: Accomplished_Luck907
This time, however, one couple decided to bring their 12 Y.O. daughter and book a separate room for her
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Image credits: chezshai (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: Accomplished_Luck907
The parents expected the costs to be split equally once more, but the author and her husband refused to fund the girl’s accommodation
So, the Original Poster (OP) and her husband have been vacationing together for several years in a row (except, for obvious reasons, 2020 and 2021), along with two other couples – the OP’s colleagues at work. No, not every vacation in a row, but from year to year, for about a week, the friends get together and go to the sea or somewhere else.
This year was no exception, and the OP and her friends decided to go to Fort Myers, near Sanibel Island in Florida. And when the friends were going to book a rental, a problem arose… The thing is that one of the couples decided to take their 12-year-old daughter with them, a big fan of seashells, which this place is famous for. Well, no problem – not perfect for sure, but what can you do here? But it turned out that the girl’s parents sincerely believed that they, as before, would share the rental costs equally. However, when the OP suggested that the girl be placed with her parents together, they wanted a separate room for her.
That is, now, instead of three rooms, the friends had to book four, but this couple still wanted to divide the payment into three. At the same time, the author suggested that the difference in price between a 3-bedroom and 4-bedroom rental should be paid by the child’s parents. In response, she received only a flurry of indignation and resentment that the OP and her husband are ‘burdening them financially because they want to give their daughter an experience.’
Yes, the OP’s spouse fully supported her in this dispute. The third couple hesitated, but then offered this time to split the bill – just to ‘to keep the peace’ – but only this time, nothing more. But most likely, now the relationship between the three friendly couples will no longer be as cloudless as before…
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Image credits: Zach Graves (not the actual photo)
We must say that many commenters criticized both the original poster with her husband and all their friends for just wanting to have a vacation in the area where, in September 2022, the devastating hurricane Ian claimed over a hundred human lives and left many thousands of people without shelter. The OP had to offer her sincere apologies, she noted that she wasn’t trying to be rude or offensive.
At the same time, despite the devastating effects of the hurricane, which damaged not only the Sanibel Causeway bridges and the famous Sanibel lighthouse, but also many houses, hotels, restaurants and stores around the area, life goes on, and people are gradually restoring everything. According to Sanibel-Captiva website, “we may not be perfect. Yet. But we still consider the islands of Sanibel & Captiva their own brand of paradise. Many agree and continue to visit to help support our recovery.” And the money of tourists can contribute to the restoration of the region.
As for the financial aspect of the described situation, here the majority of commenters unequivocally sided with the OP and her husband. Firstly, according to people in the comments, it is not worth creating such a precedent at all – so as not to tempt these parents to do this again in the future. Secondly, no matter how friendly the couple are with the girl’s parents, this is not a reason to de facto pay for her accomodation.
And in principle, a 12-year-old girl does not really fit into the very concept of a vacation for three adult couples, as many commenters sincerely believe. In any case, from the point of view of this dispute between friends, the author of the post is definitely right, folks in the comments presume. “They need more space, they have to pay more,” one of the commenters aptly concluded. And what do you think about the described case? Is it worth it for the author to give up and split the costs equally, or is it better to stand her ground? Please feel free to express your points of view in the comments below.
Most of the commenters decided that none of the friends, except the parents, should pay for the extra room, so the author is right as to the financial aspect of the story
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What do you think ?
Alexandra 1 year ago
Alone time and taking your kid along? That makes no sense at all. The other couples should prepare for taking care of said kid while the parents enjoy their "alone time". Also: the kid is the parents' responsibility, so they should pay for the additional costs.
Libstak 1 year ago
I think they mean sleeping hours type alone time, not the other couples problem that they complicated their ability to have some intimate nights.
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Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)
Couple 1 (OP and hubs) and Couple 3 (who want to keep the peace but don’t realize the Frankenstein it will create) can rent a 2 BR together, and couple 2 with the kid can get their own place all to themselves—-and hire their own damned sitter instead of having 4 “free” babysitters to impose on, right there in the more expensive they won’t pony up the difference for rental with them.
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
Agree. If they can't afford to pay for the extra room, then they likely can't afford the food she'll eat and a sitter when all three couples want to go out on the town.
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DRinLBK 1 year ago
Been in a similar situation myself I'm still pissed about... If I had known my husband and I were going to pay the same rate as my MIL/FIL and as my BIL/SIL with their 3 kids +1 who got an extra room, I would've politely declined. Besides that, my husband and I paid for ALL the food and did the cooking... Yep, a s**t show is about to go down, speaking from experience.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 1 year ago
I’m still annoyed that at my SIL’s hen weekend her sister turned up with her daughter who was around 4 at the time - I left my kids at home! And my brother and SIL just had their 15th wedding anniversary. I have nothing against the kid who came, she was a lovely wee girl and is now an awesome young lady but that wasn’t what I has signed up for that weekend!
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Alexandra 1 year ago
Alone time and taking your kid along? That makes no sense at all. The other couples should prepare for taking care of said kid while the parents enjoy their "alone time". Also: the kid is the parents' responsibility, so they should pay for the additional costs.
Libstak 1 year ago
I think they mean sleeping hours type alone time, not the other couples problem that they complicated their ability to have some intimate nights.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 1 year ago (edited)
Couple 1 (OP and hubs) and Couple 3 (who want to keep the peace but don’t realize the Frankenstein it will create) can rent a 2 BR together, and couple 2 with the kid can get their own place all to themselves—-and hire their own damned sitter instead of having 4 “free” babysitters to impose on, right there in the more expensive they won’t pony up the difference for rental with them.
Nikki Sevven 1 year ago
Agree. If they can't afford to pay for the extra room, then they likely can't afford the food she'll eat and a sitter when all three couples want to go out on the town.
Load More Replies... DRinLBK 1 year ago
Been in a similar situation myself I'm still pissed about... If I had known my husband and I were going to pay the same rate as my MIL/FIL and as my BIL/SIL with their 3 kids +1 who got an extra room, I would've politely declined. Besides that, my husband and I paid for ALL the food and did the cooking... Yep, a s**t show is about to go down, speaking from experience.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 1 year ago
I’m still annoyed that at my SIL’s hen weekend her sister turned up with her daughter who was around 4 at the time - I left my kids at home! And my brother and SIL just had their 15th wedding anniversary. I have nothing against the kid who came, she was a lovely wee girl and is now an awesome young lady but that wasn’t what I has signed up for that weekend!
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