This applies to both romantic and platonic relationships!

We are not competitors, we are allies. We need to work together to destroy oppressive power structures that seek to distract and control us

Not everyone's family is a source of love and support. Boundary setting can be extremely difficult, especially with family, but it's important to do in order to protect yourself

Society as lead us to believe that our ultimate goal is to be beautiful because according to the white supremacist capitalist patriarchy beauty = value. Beauty standards exist, they are narrow and limited, some people fall into the category of what is considered “beautiful” and some don’t. The truth is we don’t need to be beautiful!!! It’s not the most important in life - we are so much more than that. Let us be weird, ugly, gross, have bad taste. It doesn’t mean we’re any less amazing, valuable or worthy of love

Don’t feel ashamed about feeling the need to spend time hiding away from the world - take the time you need to rest and repair

You don’t need to spend time with people you bring you down and make you feel shitty, you simply don’t

Don’t spend time with people who bring you down, drain your energy or make you feel lonely. There are plenty of precious connections to be made with people who will enrich your life, invest in those relationships

Sometimes we get sick, and it’s not our fault or something to be ashamed of

Not a smile, not an engaging conversation, nada. Men are not entitled to women’s and trans-feminine bodies and attention. You don’t owe them anything

Self preservation! Often in life one needs to put oneself first, and there's nothing wrong with this. You need to look after yourself and protect yourself, and this doesn't mean you're a selfish or bad person 

We often feel the need to be nice, since we run the risk of being labeled "a b****" for exercising characteristics like boldness, assertiveness or critical thinking. It’s also often safer to be nice and exercise de-escalating tactics in order to reduce conflict in a potentially violent situations. Your safety comes first of course but in ordinary situations remember that you don’t always have to be nice. If you’re low on energy, keep it for yourself 

You don’t have to know where you’re going. You don’t have to have a clear plan or path. Don’t let not knowing where you’re going stop you from moving. Keep going and you’ll get there

There’s only one you, that’s ever been and ever will be. You’re so precious and unique so celebrate that!

Don’t sacrifice too much for your job, don’t lose sight of yourself and your worth in the face of pressure from work. You are replaceable in any position, remember that no job is worth damaging your physical, mental health, valuable relationships and happiness. Capitalism doesn’t care for us, it’s just not worth it

The world tries so hard to convince us that the way we look is the most important and defining thing about us when in fact it's not really important at all. We are so much more than our bodies, we are magic!

You’re not perfect and you don’t have to be. You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it doesn’t matter. Don’t change yourself to get other’s approval, don’t apologise for who you are

Sharing your emotions takes courage, it often brings you closer to the people you're sharing with. Sometimes people make you feel weird when sharing but maybe it's not you that's weird but them who feel discomfort because of your vulnerability. Try to practice sharing your emotions when you feel compelled to, perhaps remain conscious of who you chose to be open with.

We all grow and change over time and so do our relationships. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Friends come and go, allow them to, and don't be afraid to let go of relationships (platonic/romantic) that are no longer good for you

In work and relationships, it hurts to hear someone doesn’t want you or your ideas & it can really knock your self worth. Don’t let it get you down, the world has a way of working things out. Try to process those feelings and release them. Everyone experiences rejection, it’s going to happen and happen again, it’s not the end, trust that there is something better for you

Don't make fun of their fashion, or their hair, or anything. Get out of the habit of being critical of other women, the world is critical enough

It might take a bit of practice but boundary setting is so important when it comes to protecting yourself

Change is good, change is necessary, change is important

You’ve heard the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and there is a lot of truth to it, but sometimes what doesn’t kill you leaves you fucking traumatized and/or with PTSD so be gentle with yourself when it comes to facing life’s many challenges. Don’t let platitudes like this make you feel like you’re failing to somehow “rise above” your circumstances

This if often easier said than done but it's really helpful when you can get it right. Don't worry about other people, what they're doing or what they think of you. Stay focused on yourself and your goals

Get behind other women, build them up, support them, their success is our success

Oh and btw things that you might not think affect you actually do. For example most men don’t realize that they also suffer from the patriarchy. Toxic masculinity is a dangerous by-product of the patriarchy and restricts and punishes men for deviating from a particular idea of masculinity. This hurts them, and in turn they hurt us. It is in all of our best interest to rid this world of oppressive power structures!

Although it might feel like you’re barely surviving rn, and you’re drowning, it’s not always going to be like this. There are new and positive experiences you’re going to have, people you will meet that will make you happy you’re alive, don’t lose hope

Life is often difficult and confusing , you’re not responsible for how you feel about the things that happen to you and around you. You can't control your feelings, all you can do is decide what do to with them when they arrive. Try not to run away from your feelings, even the ones that don't feel good. Try to remember that you are not your feelings and your feelings are not always reality