Everyone grieves differently and at different paces. Losing a loved one is a major shock and it seems like your life as you know it comes to an end. However, the cold hard truth is that… life goes on, as unfair as it sounds.

Even after someone’s passing, eventually, you’ll need to go back to work, pay your taxes, cook food, and move on in some shape or form. It doesn’t mean that you forget about them, but it does mean that the world doesn’t stop turning. Celebrations and parties, however, might be a bit of a sensitive issue in these cases.

A redditor turned to the AITA online community for advice regarding a very sensitive subject. She explained how she had a very low-key birthday celebration on the 1-year anniversary of her nephew’s passing, and how this accidentally led to a lot of hurt feelings. Scroll down to read the full story, in the author’s own words, Pandas. If you’d like to share your thoughts on this highly sensitive subject, you can do so in the comments.

Losing a loved one hurts incredibly badly, and it can take a long while before you even start thinking of moving on

Image credits: profivideos (not the actual photo)

A woman explained what happened when she had a private birthday celebration on the anniversary of her nephew’s passing

Image credits: Webster2703 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: TAMyBDay

The OP explained that she only celebrated with her girlfriend. It was an intimate way to recognize the fact that her birthday even happened. However, the redditor’s family got wind of this after her girlfriend shared a photo of them holding hands on social media. This led to an uproar: the OP was accused of being heartless.

However, many redditors from the AITA community came out in support of the OP. Some opened up about very similar situations that happened when a loved one passed away. Others noted that what the author of the post did was in no way insensitive, and there was nothing to be mad about: a tiny dinner was not a raucous party.

Earlier, psychotherapist Silva Neves kindly shared his thoughts about grieving with Bored Panda.

“Some grieve with a lot of crying and others grieve with being practical, and anything else in between. Not seeing any tears does not mean that people are not grieving. The process lasts as long as it needs to last, there is no time limit,” he explained.

“Usually, grieving diminishes over time, which means that people become less and less upset over time, but some people will never ‘recover’ from grieving, especially those who lost a very important person. Most people learn to live with grief and sad
ness. Significant dates, such as anniversaries, may always be painful,” the psychotherapist said.

“Although there is some common knowledge about grief, such as ‘stages of grief’, a lot of people don’t follow ‘stages’ of grief because grief can be messy and unpredictable. The best way to support someone who is grieving is by sitting with them, listening to them and that’s it,” he said.

“It is also important not to tell people ‘I know how you feel’ because grieving is so unique, nobody can know what another person’s grieving feels like, but perhaps we can imagine how painful it is. A lot of people get a lot of support with grief at the beginning of the loss, but often people stop talking about it after a while,” Silva told us.

“Grieving people usually do appreciate their friends asking about it, even a year later or two years later. Don’t be afraid to ask the question, ‘How are you?’ and allow the grieving person to speak. Ask them for what they need but don’t assume what they need. Sometimes a grieving person might need a hug, but sometimes they may need to sit in silence. Sometimes they may need to be distracted with something else, other times they may want to talk about their pain.”

Here’s what the AITA community had to say on the sensitive subject

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